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Always by BlizzardComics
View as PDF, Submitted: 2004-09-01, Updated: 2004-09-01, Chapters: 1, Size: 1K, Words: 159, Comments: 9, Views: 223   
Anime/Manga (0)
THE BEST POEM I EVER WROTE!!!******READ ASAP!
1 - A
You give me reasons to cry
Bit you always make me smile
You tell me I should try
My best once in a while
You give me so much pain
But I'll always be in love
From the core of this very earth
To the stars way up above
You tell me that you're not
As perfect as can be
And yet I'll always know
That you'll be better than me
You tell me life's a garden
And that I should dig down deep
And I always listen
But all I can do is sleep
I wish I could live up
To the life you've always had
I have no tlents I can't do math
But my writing's not that bad
I feel so good
But I'm always sad
But what matters is I love you
I hope you're glad
This is the feeling
That I've always had
9 Comments
mangacheese1818
Nov 5, 2005 04:52 AM by: mangacheese1818 chapter 1
One word: Line breaks.
It is practicly just a bunch of mooshed text. Gah.
 
LizzardQueeng
Jul 8, 2005 06:29 AM by: LizzardQueeng chapter 1
*sniffle* ;_; How beatiful! T_T I luff this, just one constructive critisism;
add comas between "thoughts" Example;
"You give me reasons to cry, But you always make me smile," That way it's easier to read^^

*faves* you're so good^^
 
RythemFox
Jun 21, 2005 06:10 PM by: RythemFox chapter 1
it is really good in the beggining. he end was a little weak. you fell out of meter, and strayed a little in the word choice so it didnt seem to project the same kind of image. I the beggining it was great.
 
strawberry_kissez
Mar 6, 2005 04:24 PM by: strawberry_kissez chapter 1
wow this is good! *adds to favs* good job!!
 
pink-panther
Nov 16, 2004 10:57 PM by: pink-panther chapter 1
i like it. *faves* i just think that the math part is a little out of line & too many words rhyme w/ had. but thats just 1 person's opinion out of 6 billion. well, i like it. Luv- pinkay
 
Enjeru
Nov 12, 2004 10:42 PM by: Enjeru chapter 1
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Cries eyes out then puts them back in* Thats so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Gives Blizz a Muffin & resumes crying* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....!
 
rageagainsteveryone
Sep 13, 2004 07:10 PM by: rageagainsteveryone chapter 1
How cool take this watermelon cube 4 luck.
 
Yin-Yang15
Sep 6, 2004 02:49 PM by: Yin-Yang15 chapter 1
That is so cool*sniffle* I'm ok
Hey, did y'all know this is based on two characters we have in another comic?
 
sheyla
Sep 2, 2004 04:23 AM by: sheyla chapter 1
That´s great, you are a genius!Add to favs!
 

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