I came up with this in like 5 min. But it really is a craptacilar poem
1 - Untitled
Hope
Tonight the sun sets late
So then I wait and wait.
Longer becomes my day life
But when night falls, in comes the pain and strife.
I am bearing the burden of just one
But in my mind it feels like a ton.
Oh Lord what have I done?
Holding on to just one hope
Gripping tightly so not to slip out like soap.
May 21, 2005
hey thats a good poem..and its true...i like
to write in the spur of the moment
too...!!...most of my poems i
write pretty quick 2....hope 2c
more !!...great job!
~Gabby
If you'd work longer on this it would have been better. It looks as though you focused to much on ryhming. Not all poems have to ryhme (SP? T.T) Don't try so hard to make it ryhme, try a little harder to get more emotions into it. I can't wait for another one of your poems! Keep posting ^.^
,
Submitted: 2005-05-21, Updated: 2005-05-21,
Chapters: 1, Size: 1K,
Words: 70, Comments: 4,
Views: 154
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to write in the spur of the moment
too...!!...most of my poems i
write pretty quick 2....hope 2c
more !!...great job!
~Gabby