WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.... One day, Ed and Al were playing in the mud. "You an' me baby! Picken wildflowers!" said Ed. "Brother, something's dying again! I heard it last night saying Too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt..." "Hey, Al?" "What?" "You're ugly," said Ed. Al started to cry. "Mommy, mommy!" He ran inside. "Mommy, he called me ugly!!" Ed's mom put her hands on her hips. "Edward Elric, you know better than that! I told you to stop being jealous of your handsome, cute, smart, nice brother!" Ed started to cry. "B-b-but he called me...he said I was dying!" "Well, he was! You believe me, don't you mommy?" Al looked at his mom in goody-two-shoes kind of way. "Oh, of course I do, punkin! Edward, go to your room!" Ed screamed. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE?!" he yelled. "Flip you!" His mom gasped. "I told you not to say that cuss word! 'You' is such an ugly word." "Ooo...Ed got in trouble! Ed got in trouble! You'll be grounded," said Al. "Mom, he said you!" Ed tattled. "No he didn't, Edward. He said you'll! And you need to stop tattling and cussing. In fact, you really are grounded!" Ed stormed up to his room and fell on his bed. Poor little midget boy. Everyone was always mean to him. "I-I-I wish they would just leave me alone!" he cried. THE NEXT MORNING "Brother, mommy's dying!" Al cried. Ed was eating a cinnamon roll. "Scrum-diddly-umcious!" he said. Al started to shake the living crap out of his adorable midget brother. "She's DEAD, Ed! DEAD!!" Ed giggled. "That rhymes." Al screamed. "Don't you get it, you son of a bench? She's DEAD, gosh tootin'!!" Ed yawned and scratched his head. "It's a heartache! Nothin' but a heartache!" Al smacked him. "Get a hold of yourself, brudda! This isn't funny!!" Al stood by his mother and cried. "C'mon, Al! We're going to bring her back to life!" Ed shouted. He dragged his goody-two-shoes brother down to the basement and sat on the floor. "Okey, dokety, Al. We're going to use the ingredients in this here book to bring mom back to life! Using ALCHEMY!!" Al looked over the book. "Brother, are you sure--" "Of course I'm sure! When have I ever been wrong?" (flashback) "Ed, are you sure this is safe?" asked Winry. "Of course it is! Go on and pet it!" "Okay..come here little dog with foam coming from your mouth...." (end of flashback). "Get the ingredients, Al, and come here. After all the ingredients were in place, Ed began to stir them into this big bowl. "Let's see...sugar, spice, and everything nice." Al held up a bottle. "Ok, now we need to accidently add an extra ingredient to the concoxion--Chemical X." Ed dropped the bottle in the bowl. "Oh, no. I acc-ident-ly dropped a bottle of Chemical X into the bowl! Whatever shall I do?" The bowl started to glow bright pinkish (and a bit yellow) and..... POW!! Three girls were standing there. "Hehehe, hi! I'm Bubbles!" said one of the bug-eyed little freaks. "AHHH!!! Squish it, squish it!" Al grabbed Ed and started to whack the girls with him. After they were more squashed than mushy grits, everything calmed down. "That was scary." Ed pulled out another book. "Let's try this one." They sat on the floor. "Azerath, Metrion, Zinthos!" A black thing-a-ma-jig appeared and started to suck Al up. "Brother, help me!" Ed closed the book and the what-cha-ma-call-it dissapeared. "I wonder where THAT came from..." AT TITANS TOWER "Where is the book of Azar?" asked Raven. "Beast Boy what did you do with my book?" "Oh, um...I didn't do anything with a blue book that has exactly 1,020 pages! And I especially didn't flush it down Cyborg's new Time toilet thing and send it to a time when Alchemy was frequently used, no I didn't! Why would I do that?" "You idiot..." BACK AT ED'S HOUSE Ed and Al sat reading book after book to find the right things. Ed suddenly got the urge to annoy his brother. He reached up to Al's face, pretended to grab his nose, and swiped his hand away. "I got your nose." Al fell on the floor, screaming. "NO!! Brother, give me back my nose! Please! I promise I'll be a good boy, just please give it back!!" Ed shoved his hand in Al's mouth. "You ate it." "NOOO!!!! I want my nose!! I want it!! WAHHHHH!!!!" "Get a grip Alphonse." Ed started to put some stuff in a bowl while Al tried to burp up his nose. "Brother, what are you doing?" he asked. "I can do whatever I freakin' want to!!" Al crawled over and they both got on their knees. They clapped their hands and put them on the giant transmution circle. It glowed. "Oooo....it's so pretty, brother! I wanna touch it!!" Al walked towards the light. "No, Al! Stay away from the light! DON'T GO NEAR THE LIGHT!!!" Al didn't listen. He started to get sucked into the light. "Brother, help me!!! Again!!" "Why do you keep getting sucked into stuff?" Ed shouted. He tried to grab Al's hand, but for some reason, it was...slippery. "Al, have you been sticking your hand in butter for the fun of it again?" he asked. "Maybe..." The light sucked Al in further. "Now e'rebody in the club getting tipsy!!" he shouted. those were his last words before he was sucked completely into the pretty light. "No! Al!!" Ed ran over to a suit of armor and drew a circle. In a few moments, his arm and leg was gone and Al's soul was in the armor. "Brother...what happened to us?" he asked. "How the flippin' heck should I know? We have to get our limbs back!! TO THE BATCAVE!" Ed shouted. They slid down two poles and ran to the car. When they started it up, a hole opened on the side of the house and they drove out...."Brother? Where's the car?" "This must be the invisible boat-mobile!" said Ed. "Um...brother...we're not sitting on anything." They both fell on their butts. "Well, that was pointless....let's go to Winry's house!" The two boys looked in Winry's window. She was sitting at a table with floats on her arms, and she was in front of a bowl of soup. "Grandma, I don't see why you gave me these floaties. It's not like anything's gonna happen." She fell in her soup. "OMG!!! Help, I'm drowning!" she sat up. "Ugh...those floaties didn't even help!" Ed and Al came in the door. "Hi Winry! We need you're help. Al lost his body and I lost my arm and leg." "Wow...does it hurt?" "Yup. It hurts so bad, I wanna scream and yell and kick and eat something." "....Ed, if you only have one leg, how are you standing?" asked Winry. "Good point." Ed instantly fell over. Winry gave Ed some automail, and they played opera throughout the whole procedure bacause....Ed wanted to hear opera. When they were done, Winry looked at her magnificent work: a leg and arm. "I feel short," said Ed. "That's because you are." Ed looked at Al and grinned. "I'm a horsey!" He skipped around the room. "Now YOU'RE a horsey!" He jumped on Al's head. "Giddyup." "We're off to become alchemists," said Al. They ran away. "Ed...forgot all his clothes," said Pinako. "Oh, well." <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> Yeah, I know. I took a totally sad story and made it stupid. Well, I had to do it. This is my first stupid FMA story, and i've already made plenty of Teen Titan stories that are dumb! Hope you liked it.