***CELEBRITY BLIND DATE!***
TODAY STARRING BEYBLADE WORLD CHAMPIONS!

VOICE-OVER MAN
*Stupid annoying voice* Ladies and gents, girls and boys, dogs and cats, mortals and immortals-and all that crap- welcome to BLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND DATE!! Presented for you today by… GRANDPA GRAINGER!!

*Stupid fanfare music plays*

GRANDPA
He-llooooooooo date fans!! Yep, it’s me again, and today we’ve got a special! Our bachelors and bachelorettes for today are this year’s Beyblade Battle Association WORLD CHAMPIONS!!

AUDIENCE
*Scream manically*

GRANDPA
*Thinks the applause is for him* Oh, no! Really! Don’t applaud! *Under his breath* Just throw money…
*Normally* Aside from that- all our lucky contestants have to do is answer five simple questions each turn! Yes, not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not-- oh wait…
Yes ladies and gents, just FIVE questions each turn!! Eheheh…! *Grimaces*
So enough from me, let’s meet today’s eligibles!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “1” on it in blue sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelor number one!
This kid has the biggest appetite in the world- and… uh… not really the biggest brain in the world… His hobbies include beyblading, eating, slacking off chores and school, eating, sleeping in and eating. Please welcome…
TYSON GRAINGER!!

TYSON
*Curtain goes up* HEY ALL MY LOYAL FANS!!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “2” on it in pink sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelor number two!
He’s the best friend any kid could wish for, and he just looooooooooves sport! He’s looking for a bright, cheery, shy and bubbly girl who has a lot in common with him! Hobbies include tennis, swimming and football! Please welcome… MAX MIZUHARA!!

MAX
*Curtain goes up* Wow… nice room… Huh? *Realises there’s a camera filming him* Hey!! I’M ON TV!!!!! HI, MOM!!!!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “3” on it in green sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelor number three!
He’s quiet, thoughtful, and the voice of wisdom in any of his teams! Plus, if he disappears into the garden and doesn’t come back- all you have to do is go “here kitty kitty!”. He enjoys spending time with friends, and training HARD. Please welcome…
RAY KON!!

RAY
*Curtain goes up* Hey! Hello! Hi! Yup- you can have my autograph after!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “4” on it in gold sequins*


VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelor number four!
Now, this guy looks like an ant to me, and he always has done-- but all you lassies think he’s fit, anyway. (I also SWEAR he’s wearing shopping trolleys on his shoulders in series one…) Anyway, he likes being a leader, co-operating with his friends and knowing he’s done his best. Please welcome…
TALA!!

TALA
*Curtain goes up* I’m gonna SWEEP this competition!!
Well… I HOPE I do… the jerk next to me’s a LOT more fit than me… damn.

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “5” on it in red sequins, but it looks like someone has been kicking it out of boredom*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelor number five!
I won’t argue. In fact, I won’t say anything. ‘Cos you all know who this is if I just say one word: hot. Hobbies include reading, animals and… well… just… doing nothing… Yep, you guessed it! Please welcome…
KAI HIWATARI!!

KAI
*Curtain goes up, every girl in the audience starts screaming, he silences them with a glare*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Well, those are our five bachelors today! Back to you, Gramps!

GRANDPA
Thanks Tom! Well, you’ve met the boys, but not the girls! It’s time to go backstage to meet our lovely ladies for today! Now remember folks, you can’t tell the boys anything about them and their personalities! They aren’t supposed to meet ‘em just yet! And the girls don’t know the boys, so don’t reveal their traits either! But enough of that-- Show us the girls, Tom!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “1” on it in rose sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelorette number one!
The compliment “cutie kitten” would do her justice! This girl is a bit of a snob at times, but cares deeply for all her friends! She’s looking for a guy who will take care of her and pamper her! Hobbies include spending time with friends, going out on nice meals, and playing with her cat! This girl is…
MARIAH FOK!!

MARIAH
*Curtain goes up* PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!! I’M CUTE!!! NYAAAA!!!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “2” on it in turquoise sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelorette number two!
She’s a little hyper, but loved the world over! If you have a good singing voice, you’re gonna looooooooove this little sweetie! She likes singing and latest music, and is looking for someone fun loving and who is into music too! She also wants someone who will enjoy listening to her voice! Please welcome…
MING MING!!

MING MING
*Curtain goes up* OMIGOD!!! A CAMERA!!! *Gets out a microphone*
Oops! I did it again…

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “3” on it in navy sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelorette number three!
She’s calm and solitary and gets a kick out of annoying her team-mates! But don’t push her! Otherwise, she might unleash her fury! She’s not afraid of anything and would like a friendly, brave and encouraging kind of guy, who is mentally strong enough to put up with her moaning, and who can cook! She likes annoying people, training hard and peanut butter sandwiches! Put you hands together for…
MIRIAM SAINT-SHIELD!!

MIRIAM
*Curtain goes up* Ooh!! Does my hair look all right? How about if I put it like this?

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “4” on it in silver sequins*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelorette number four!
She doesn’t really count as someone in the Beyblade series, but she’s here anyway! The offspring of the imagination of the super-duper manga-ka Kaori-Ogata, she’s here to show you all what’s what! She’s cute, smart, funny, and a little lonely! She wants a guy who can make her laugh, who likes adventure, who cares for the environment and who accepts the fact that nobody’s perfect. She likes forests, the environment, animals, stargazing and climbing trees!
Welcome our lovely fictional character with the big green eyes!
MANDI HIWATARI!!

MANDI
*Curtain goes up* Yup! It’s cute lil’ old me! Nice to see yas all at last! I’m Kai’s cousin by the way!

*Spotlight shines on curtain that has “5” on it in olive green sequins but the curtain is ripped and the sequins are falling off*

VOICE-OVER MAN
Bachelorette number five!
She’s… um… an interesting species… Known among her friends as “Frog-Girl”, she likes swimming, mud-baths, bugs and… ah… other amphibians…. She’s looking for someone who- ah- well… you’ll get the idea in a minute… she’s just looking for anyone really… Give us a croak for…
HILARY TATIBANA!!

FROG-GIRL
*Curtain goes up* Hello everybody! Nice to- RIBBIT!!- see you all!

GRANDPA
Well, thanks for that Tommy! Now each one of our bachelors will be going away with one of our ladies today! Unfortunately, they won’t really get a choice in the matter if they’re the last boy left! So they’ll just have to stick it out, but you never know! They might get lucky!
So… without further ado… *Takes a card out of his jacket* It’s QUESTION TIME!!!

*Daft fanfare plays*

KAI
*Becomes incredibly annoyed by this music, turns to band* KNOCK IT OFF!!!

*Fanfare dies away*

GRANDPA
*Clears throat* Well, when you’re ready Tom, you can pick a bachelor to ask a young lady a question!

VOICE-OVER MAN
Right you are, Gramps! Who’s it gonna be, number two, number four or even number three…?

*Drum roll, the spotlight rolls around the boys*

It’s gonna be…

*Spotlight stops*

NUMBER THREE!!

GRANDPA
Ooooookay! Bachelor number three! For whom is your question?

RAY
Um… *Thinks about it*
What is your most common saying?

MARIAH
Please let me!

MING MING
You told me to leave you alone…

MIRIAM
You stink!

MANDI
Isn’t this fun? ^_^

FROG-GIRL
RIBBIT!! Pardon me!

GRANDPA
…
Okay, next question!

RAY
Um… *Thinks about it*
How many friends do you have?

MARIAH
Uh… uh… I dunno… about… well, um, actually I’ve lost count…

RAY
Why? Do you have lots?

MARIAH
Actually, no, I meant I’ve lost count of all of them, ‘cause uh… I keep losing them for some reason! I don’t understand why! Which is why I want a passionate guy!

MING MING
Mean girls are popular,
Mean girls are cool…

MIRIAM
None much. Friends piss me off!! ESPECIALLY that dung-brain Dunga…

MANDI
Umm… quite a lot, but I like to choose them carefully, so I only have about three close friends, but lots of non-close friends! ^_^

FROG-GIRL
Um…
Hmm…
Can you come back to me?

RAY
I see…

GRANDPA
Question number three!

RAY
Um… *Thinks about it*
If one of your friends has just been dumped by her boyfriend, and they turned to you, what advice would you give?

MARIAH
SNAP OUT OF IT!! I thought he was a jerk anyway.

MING MING
Hey, little dolly,
Shed not a tear…

MIRIAM
He was nothin’ but a slimy, no-good two-timer! You deserve worse!

MANDI
Cheer up cutie, you’ll find someone better soon!

FROG-GIRL
He was uglier than a frog anyway! RIBBIT!!

GRANDPA
Present a song! Good idea!
Next…?

RAY
Um… *Thinks about it*
Do you like cats?

MARIAH
Nya! Prrrrrr… =^o^=

MING MING
Nope!
And they called it
Puppy love…

MIRIAM
NO!! VERMIN CREATURES!! YEUCH!!!
A shark… THAT’S more like it!! Yeah!!

MANDI
Of course I do! I love animals! Oh! Hello Mr. Tarantula! Sure, you can climb up my leg! Sure, you can bite me if you want! Oh, you’re so CUTE!!

FROG-GIRL
They scare me! They seem to have an annoying THING about chasing me everywhere! So, NO I DO NOT!! RIBBIT!!

GRANDPA
Interesting… And your final question?

RAY
Um… *Thinks about it*
When you are out for a walk, where do you like to go?

MARIAH
The cattery!

MING MING
Park life,
All the people…

MIRIAM
The old warehouse. Duh!

MANDI
The forest, of course!

FROG-GIRL
The ponds! RIBBIT!!

GRANDPA
Well thanks for that, bachelor number three! Now… it’s decision time! Which one of our lovely ladies do you choose?

*Drum roll*

RAY
Um… *Thinks about it*
I think… I’ll choose… number… five!

GRANDPA
…
Are you sure?
You know there’s no going back once you’ve chosen, don’t you?

RAY
Yup, I’m sure! ^_^

GRANDPA
Would you like to tell us why you choose number five?

RAY
Well, cats obviously seem to like her! And her most common saying was funny! And she sounds a bit lonely, so I can’t wait to cheer her up!

GRANDPA
Ray Kon.
You have chosen…
HILARY TATIBANA!!

*Crowd cheers, but stops the minute Hilary comes out from behind backstage*

FROG-GIRL
Hello everybody! Nice to see you!

RAY
EEEK!!

FROG-GIRL
*Mistakes it for a scream of joy* Oh, are you that happy to see me? GIMME A KISS!!

RAY
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Runs away*

FROG-GIRL
Where are you going? RIBBIT!! *Runs after him* Wait for me! RIBBIT!!

GRANDPA
…
Umm… ha! Well we’ll uh… see how they got on… uh… next week! Eheheh…
Right, well that’s two down, four to go! Who’s our next lucky contestant?

VOICE-OVER MAN
Right you are, Gramps! Who’s it gonna be, number two, number four or even number three…?

*Drum roll, the spotlight rolls around the boys*

It’s gonna be…

*Spotlight stops*

NUMBER ONE!!

TYSON
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! IT’S ME!!! IT’S MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

GRANDPA
Okay, number one! Fire away!

TYSON
Okay, okay, umm…
Are you smart?

MARIAH
Duh! As smart as a lion!

MING MING
I know that I could never
Fall from grace,
I’m far too clever…

MIRIAM
I’ve never been to school. I’m a rebel, y’see.

MANDI
Uh… I’ve never been to school either, but I am kinda smart! Uh, I mean, I can do maths and stuff if that’s what ya mean!

TYSON
Uh huh…

GRANDPA
Smart girlies there! Next question!

TYSON
Okay, okay, umm…
When you go to an “All You Can Eat” buffet… what do you eat first?

MARIAH
Fish! Mmm… I love seafood…

MING MING
Peanut butter sandwich made with jam,
Stick, stick, stick, stick!
Yummy yum yum yum yum!

MIRIAM
I dunno… peanut butter sandwiches for me too, I guess.

MANDI
Fresh fruit!! I LOVE that stuff!!!

GRANDPA
If I know Tyson he’ll go for the one who eats the most! Question three!

TYSON
Okay, okay, umm…
Do you hate chores?

MARIAH
YES!! Who doesn’t? I like to slack whenever I can!

MING MING
Yes…
If you whistle while you work…

MIRIAM
don’t mind doing them if I get somethin’ at the end. Somethin’ green that folds, preferably.

MANDI
I don’t like being told what to do. So no.

TYSON
YES!! Labourers!!

GRANDPA
Lucky kid, huh? Second to last question!

TYSON
Okay, okay, umm…
What’s the longest time you’ve ever slept in?

MARIAH
Like… midday almost!!

MING MING
Cheap tea and coffee,
Sleep in really late…

MIRIAM
I’m up bright and breezy to train. Gotta be alert, know what I’m sayin’?

MANDI
I’m the early bird! I never sleep in! I like going on adventures!

GRANDPA
Not too sleepy, not too alert! Final question!

TYSON
Okay, okay, umm…
Who’s your idol?

MARIAH
Next door’s cat! I want nails and hair like that…

MING MING
Laura,
Won’t you give me your love?

MIRIAM
Um… I don’t have one.

MANDI
I never really knew my Mom, but I know what kind of a person she was, and I wanna be just like that too!

GRANDPA
*Sniffs* Bachelorette number five! That’s so… touching!!
Ahem! Anyway, it’s the toughest part of the show! Choices, choices!
So, number one, who do you choose?

*Drum roll*

TYSON
Okay, okay, umm…
I’m quite hot on number three… she’s got a sugary voice, too!

GRANDPA
…
Are you sure?
You know there’s no going back once you’ve chosen, don’t you?

TYSON
*Loses it* Whatever, Grandpa, just lemme see her, dammit!!!

GRANDPA
Would you like to tell us why you choose number three?

TYSON
She sounds like a rebel. Oh, and she gets up early to train! And if I pay her, she’ll do the washing up after the meals!

GRANDPA
Tyson Grainger.
You have chosen…
MIRIAM SAINT SHIELD!!

*Crowd cheers, Miriam emerges, stops dead in her tracks the minute she sees Tyson*

MIRIAM
OMIGOD ITS YOU!!!

TYSON
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! IT’S THAT SAINT-SHIELD WITCH!!!!!!

MIRIAM & TYSON
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *Run out the fire exits*

GRANDPA
…
Well, they’ll be back next week…! Ahaha…!
Rrrrrrright, it’s time for our third bachelor! Take it away, Tom!

VOICE-OVER MAN
Right you are, Gramps! Who’s it gonna be, number two, number four or even number three…?

*Drum roll, the spotlight rolls around the boys*

It’s gonna be…

*Spotlight stops*

NUMBER FIVE!!

KAI
Oh great. Third time lucky, my foot.

GRANDPA
Sooooooo number five! Ask your…

KAI
*GLARE*

GRANDPA
Q…questions…!

KAI
…
Are you bored right now?

MARIAH
Not really! I’m still waiting eagerly for my future date… *Sighs romantiacally*

MING MING
Silence is golden,
But shouting is fun…

MANDI
Um… it’s funny you should say that, because actually, yes, I am… there are no plants or trees or anything back here!

KAI
…
Do you like animals?

MARIAH
I like cats, and cats ONLY.

MING MING
Again I say…
And they called it
Puppy love…

MANDI
I LOVE animals!! Especially wolves!! And bugs!!

KAI
…
Do you read lots?

MARIAH
I hate reading. Why read when there’s so much more to do?

MING MING
Winter robins, winter rooks,
And the picture story books…

MANDI
I like legends and stuff! Yes… I suppose do like reading!

KAI
…
Are you mentally strong?

MARIAH
I can safely say no! I am SUCH a cute lil’ softie… I need lots of love!

MING MING
I’m better bred,
Much better led
Than to breakdown now…

MANDI
Uh… I don’t know! I hope so!

KAI
…
Do you want to go home now?

MARIAH
Nope!

MING MING
Yeah, yeah, baby…

MANDI
I have no home… Eheh!

GRANDPA
*Finally finds his voice again* Um… so! Number five! Uh… who’s it gonna be…?

KAI
…

GRANDPA
Um… well…?

KAI
*Holds up his hand with five fingers up*
Guess.

GRANDPA
Um… any particular reason…?

KAI
At least she wasn’t singing or romanticizing…

GRANDPA
Okay, um… Kai Hiwatari…
Y…you have ch-chosen…
M… M…
MANDI… HI… HIWATARI…!

KAI
*Eyes widen in shock*
Oh crap…

MANDI
*Comes out from behind curtain, sees Kai*
Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooly cow…

GRANDPA
Hahahaha… *Gets out a handkerchief, wipes sweat off his forehead*
So, uh… You two will be, uh… happy together I hope…! Ahaha…!

KAI
That’s great. But there’s a problem, idiot.

MANDI
I, uh… Can’t date Kai.
He’s my cousin, y’see…

GRANDPA
Oh…
…
…
Okay…
Um…
Ah… Well…

KAI
Forget it. I’m NOT dating my own cousin- that’s just wrong.
See ya, Mandi.
*Walks out*

MANDI
Byesies!
*Turns to Grandpa*
I had a feeling something like this would happen, so I have a backup plan!
GRANDPA
*Glad to be rid of Kai’s glares, slowly recovering*
B-backup plan?

MANDI
*All smiles* Yeah!
*Turns to audience*
Please will y’all welcome…
OZUMA SAINT-SHEILD!

OZUMA
*Walks out from behind backstage*
I’m back! I hope Miriam got a good date!

MANDI
*To the reader- that’s you!*
I would just like to explain that in Beyblade V-Force Mandi falls in love with Ozuma! And he kinda likes her too! So, let’s go Mr. Flash Leopard!

*Mandi and Ozuma leave*

GRANDPA
…
Uh…
Okay, um…
Next contestant…

VOICE-OVER MAN
Right you are, Gramps! Who’s it gonna be, number two, number four or even number three…?

*Drum roll, the spotlight rolls around the boys*

It’s gonna be…

*Spotlight stops*

NUMBER TWO!!

MAX
Oh boy!! It’s my turn!!
*Faces camera*
HI MOM!! ARE YA WATCHIN THIS?!

GRANDPA
Okay, number two! First question! Fire away!

MAX
Um…
Uh…
If you had to evacuate your house during a hurricane, what would you bring with you?

MARIAH
My cats!! I couldn’t possible leave them behind!!

MING MING
My microphone, of course!
Sing, sing, sing…

GRANDPA
Touching!
Next question!

MAX
Um…
Uh…
Do you love your Mom?

MARIAH
Of course I do!! I’d be mad not to!!

MING MING
Nope!
Lonely…
I am so lonely…

GRANDPA
Ooh dear… bachelorette number two sounds like a rebel…
Question three!

MAX
Um…
Uh…
Do your friends consider you a person they can always rely on?

MARIAH
Well of course! I mean, I did try to get Ray’s Bit-Beast back, didn’t I?

MING MING
Just us girls,
Everywhere together…
GRANDPA
Ah… What trustworthy girls!
Next!

MAX
Um…
Uh…
If your parents split up, what would you do?

MARIAH
Well… I don’t have a dad, so I dunno!

MING MING
Lately I can’t stand to sleep,
I wanna kill myself to end this nightmare…

GRANDPA
Once again, touching!
Final question!

MAX
Um…
Uh…
If you had a bag full of chocolate bars, who would you share them with?

MARIAH
Everyone!
Especially my date…
Hee hee!

MING MING
I have nobody,
I’m on my own…
Aah-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

GRANDPA
Wonderful! There goes the last question of that round!
So Number Two, it’s time for your choice! One out of the two girls will go with you today, and the other will be left at the mercy of our last bachelor!
Who do you choose…?

*Drum roll*

TYSON
Um…
Uh…
Y’know… I kinda like the sound of number one!

GRANDPA
…
Are you sure?
You know there’s no going back once you’ve chosen, don’t you?

MAX
Yeah, I know.

GRANDPA
Tell us Two, why did you pick One?

MAX
She loves her Mom, and she has no Dad. Perhaps I can be a dad to her!

*Crowd awws*

GRANDPA
*Sniff!* Such a kind boy!
Ahem! Anyway!
Max Mizuhara.
You have chosen…
MARIAH FOK!!

*Crowd cheers, Mariah comes out from the curtain, sees Max*

MARIAH
Oh.
My.
God.
I DIDN’T GET RAY!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*Runs out crying*

MAX
Mariah, wait!! Come back!! I can be as good as Ray!! I like cats too!!!
*Runs after her*

GRANDPA
Ah.
Haha…
More from them next week!
Now we’re coming up to the last part of the show, and before it’s time to introduce our last two eligibles to each other, I have an announcement to make!
Kaori Ogata needs more teams!
She is sick and tired of waiting for a fourth Beyblade series, and so is making her own!
BEYBLADE X!
I am LOVIN that title, by the way!
Anyway, she has the following teams for the series already…

Bladebreakers
White Tigers
All Starz
Saint Shield
Deep Blue (Fictional)
Gathering Light (Fictional)
Hunter X (Fictional)

She needs two more teams!
If you think you’ve got a good team for a fourth series then let her know!
Post a comment on her profile… teiik_of_hyrule!
Then, post a picture of it on Fanart Central!
The conditions are…
There is one more evil team and one more good team needed. You are only allowed to submit ONE TEAM PER PERSON.
Don’t try using multiple email addresses either, it will not work!
The prize for the three winning teams are seeing them appear in her fictional fourth series! Ain’t that cool?!
Well folks, it’s that time of the day again! It’s time to introduce our last contestants to each other! No point in asking questions now! Tom, reveal to us the last couple!

VOICE-OVER MAN
Certainly, Gramps! Introducing…
TALA AND MING MING!

*Crowd screams*

TALA
*Sees Ming Ming*
AARGH!! SHE’S TINY!!

MING MING
YAY!! I got a hottie!!
Don’t cha wish ya girlfriend was hot like me?
Don’t cha wish ya girlfriend was a freak like me?
*Bends towards Tala*
Don’t cha?
Don’t cha?

TALA
*Backing away towards the exit*
That’s not fair!! I didn’t even get a choice!!
No, no!! Get away!! No!! NO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

GRANDPA
Well folks, that’s it for today! Thanks for tunin’ in! We’ll be back next week with news of how the couples got on!
Don’t forget that email address and we’ll see you next week on Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind Date!!

VOICE-OVER MAN
This is your annoyance Tom Hawkins signing off!

Has Ray come to terms with Hilary…?
Has Tyson put up with Miriam…?
What about Kai and Mandi?
And Max and Mariah?
Or even Tala and Ming Ming…?
Come back soon to find the second half completed and ready to read!

Kaori Ogata, 5/8/06, 11:58 am