Punishment of Mine

My heart pounds,
my hands shake,
I fall to my knees,
unable to take,
what is going on,
it is too much again,
I have lost you once more,
is this the right choice,
I ponder more.
The tears come now,
unable to stand,
I fall all the way down,
into another land.
But this is no bliss,
it is pure hell,
tearing me apart,
and I cannot tell.
For I am blind,
I have lost my mind,
I need you now,
more than anything.
But it will not happen,
so I will just cry,
it was my own dumb mistake.
I have let you down,
for the last time.
It couldn't be more fitting,
this punishment for me.
I am so very sorry,
can you ever forgive me?