Dib gave a muffled groan, being dragged along the floor with great imprudence from Zim.
“Get up, would you?” growled the irken, clasping onto Dib’s heeland pushing against the floor, dragging the human up a small hill inthe otherwise flat field. A bead of sweat rolled off his face as hestruggled to carry both a sword and shield, old woman and now ahalf-immobilized cross dresser.
“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t jump to conclusions so quickly! I didn’t send that fairy and you know it!”
“I said get up!”
“I can hardly move! Usually people pummeled with seniors violently don’t get up so easily!”
“It’s not Zim’s fault if your bodies are so squishy and vulnerable,pig-stink,” growled the alien, slightly tinged with fatigue. He’d beendragging Dib for about a mile, now, and still the looming shape of thecastle did not show itself sharply. It was mid afternoon, and, not onlywas the sun berating their backs with heat, but also reflecting lightoff the white and unpolluted clouds so looking up was just as bad asstaring directly into the fiery star.
Dib wrinkled his nose, feeling his head whack against a stray rock.
“Ow! Watch it, Zim! You heard what that girl said! We all have tomake it out alive after killing Ganon if we want to get out of here!”

Indeed, the strange voice had come upon them again, educating themin the ways and expectations of OOTZV. Grudgingly, the irken hadcommitted—at least, part-time—to agreeing to haul Dib to the castle.However, he didn’t make it a comfortable journey.
Gaz had gone off in an opposite direction, but neither Dib nor Zimcared, knowing the girl was probably more capable of defeating thevillain single handedly, though their pride refused to allow them toadmit such a thing.
Right now the only thing they had on their mind was getting out ofhere, slaughtering and leaving. A man with a crowned pimple didn’t seemto be that ferocious and, quite frankly, they admitted to seeing Ganonas an overweight, power-crazy little kid.
“You won’t die of head trauma,” snapped Zim. “That giant skull of yours is probably so thick your brain is leagues away.”
“Hey! C’mon, my head is not big!”
Zim snorted and struggled again, pulling Dib’s ankle harshly and shuffling backward, defying gravitational pull.
“We’re not getting anywhere,” Dib muttered glumly. “Zim, aren’t yousupposed to have superior strength to us ‘feeble humans’? And whatabout your technology, huh? Can’t you use those legs of yours to dragus to the castle?”
Zim cursed in irken and wheeled around to face the boy.
“So you can figure out the technology and steal it for your own, dirty people? Never!”
“But you tried to kill me with them last Halloween!” snapped Dib,writhing in the alien’s grasp. “Nothing stopping you there, was there?”
“Your brain will never understand how mine works! Now, quiet back there, or I’ll leave you to the wolves!”
The human knew it was an empty threat, seeing as both of themneeded to escape alive to live normally. Zim probably cared for his ownskin more than he did for Dib’s, however, and he’d probably resort toinflicting torture on Dib until he was an inch from death, slay Ganonand leave. Dib would still be in once piece, however mangled, and so hedecided to keep his mouth shut, rather than retort to Zim’s wolfcomment.
They moved a few more inches forward before Zim collapsed in the ground, panting.
“Hey, why are you stopping? We have to get to that castle before nightfall, or the gates will close on us!”
“You—want—to—drag—me….instead, stink?” said Zim, thoroughly wornout, narrowing his eyes with his earth worm-like tongue hanging outslightly.
“You’re unbearable,” growled the human, twisting his ankle out ofZim’s grasp and laying it on the grass. His entire body ached afterthat beating, his head especially. It throbbed viciously, making asmall temple pulse beside his ear. The human had a black eye, now, toZim’s satisfaction.
“Be quiet, or I’ll melt your face off!” snarled the alien, withouteven looking at the boy, much rather in the distance, eyes gleaming inlust to get out of the field.

“Suit yourself, but it’d be so much easier if you just used your PAK to carry us there.”
“It’d be much easier if you didn’t exist!”
“Me? I don’t even know how we got here! You were chasing me and then I fell into some weird portal!”
“So it is your fault, isn’t it?”
“I SAID IT WASN’T, ZIM!”
Dib smashed a fist into the grass, shaking his head slowly and painfully.
Zim seemed to consider something for a moment, before getting upand brushing dirt off his green tunic, still watching the castle. Fourthin, long metallic legs emerged from his back, shining in the sunlightand making Dib’s face aglow with relief.
“Finally! I though you’d never… hey, where are you going, Zim?”
The boy stood up quickly, seeing the irken begin to walk in the opposite direction to the castle.
“Zim! Zim, you moron! It’s that way!”
“Fool! If I was teleported to this… filthy land here, then maybe itcan teleport me back to your filthy land over there if I walk back towhere we started!”
“But the instructions were to kill Ganon, not backtrack!”
Zim laughed evilly. “Zim? Listen to instructions made by an idiotichuman? Never! I’m going my own way, and making it out alive!”
“But we all have to go!”
A chill wind amended itself and spawned across the land, rufflingZim and Dib’s hair. It didn’t seem natural, almost like it was conjuredby a flying…
“Be quiet! You’re no use to me, anyway. I’m go--”
He didn’t finish. Something heavy slammed into the ground,disheveling a portion of it and making Zim tumble down the hill,skidding to a stop midway. Dib stood, shocked, knees slightly buckledand shaking. Before them was the largest man he’d ever seen, heavilyarmed, heavily dressed and radiating such wickedness it almost seemedhe would burst from it. The threatening-looking specter was mounted ona large, jet-black steed, demonic in both height and appearance,tossing its coal-like hair in wind and making the sun’s rays dull.
A large crest of jewels were embedded into the stranger’s forehead,giant rubies previously unseen to being so large, flashing scarlet andmaroon. With a ghastly cackle, the man jumped off his stallion andflared a tattered cape, contrasting with his dark skin andbloody-colored hair, making Zim and Dib cower involuntarily. He lowereda fierce, golden eye, watching Dib cruelly.
Still the boy was too shocked to speak—even respond, anduncomfortably he noticed he was extremely lightheaded, heart poundingferociously and his lungs burning. Dib intook a sharp inhalation,gasping and panting when he realized he hadn’t breathed for the fulltime the man appeared.
Zim narrowed his eyes and gripped the old woman tightly, retractinghis spider legs. Falling a few feet with a gentle thump, the irkenattempted to bear a feral snarl and stare daggers, though the opposingforce didn’t seem to notice him at all.
“Ganon…?” inquired Dib weakly, more to himself than anyone else,his image of a fat child with blemishes being the villain fadingquickly.
Ganon gave an uproarious, deep laugh, grinning ferociously. “Yes,”the man replied darkly, his steed tossing its mane and rearing, headsnapping in Zim’s direction, though it’s master was content on focusingon the human.
“And you are… my appointed… assassins, is that correct?” said the man mirthlessly, laughing again.
Zim grit his teeth, still clutching tightly the old woman.
“I heard you cannot be separated… ah... that is misfortunate!”
In a flash, a strong, tanned hand was around Dib’s head and he was being swung in the air, dress fluttering pathetically.
“HEY, WHOAH!”
“LET HIM GO, PIMPLE-MAN! I NEED THAT FOR MY SURVIVAL!”
The idea Zim didn’t even use Dib as a proper noun, rather, ‘that’irked the boy greatly, though the human found he couldn’t protesthanging over six feet in the air.
Dib was planted on the horse and in a flutter of a cloak, Ganon leapt upon it as well, the hostage on his lap.
“HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE HIM COMING?” screamed Dib accusingly to thealien, hearing his voice echo over the field in its increased volume.The child began to panic quickly, being immobilized, weak and unable tofight for his life.
“I WAS BUSY!” snapped Zim, antennae flared underneath his hair. The nerve of that pig smelly…!
“RIDE!” roared Ganon, the loudest of all, making the rest of theechoing acoustics go quiet with his voice only. The man kicked thesides of the horse roughly and made it whinny, snorting and tossing itshead majestically before galloping off, leaving Zim spluttering indebris of grass and chunks of dirt.
When they were out of sight, the irken hailed a giant, exuberantstream of curses, spit flying from the corners of his mouth as well asstray pieces of grass and dust. He continued to wail until his facegrew red from lack of the intake of air and he began to pant, stillscreaming with blatant, rude gestures being formed several times inrapid fire.
“EEEEEEEEAAAUUUGH!”
The irken collapsed again, chest heaving, whacking his arm on the ground.
“I WILL ANNIHALATE THAT MAN! GANON, THE NEXT TIME YOU SHOW YOURSELF, I WILL DISMEMBER YOU, ATOM BY ATOOOOMMM!”
The cyan fairy had disappeared a long, long time ago, prior to evenwhen the two boys had begun to walk to the castle, Dib to his doom. Zimwas still on the floor, sprawled hideously on his back like a fallencockroach, teeming with angst and absolute dislike.
At least that contraption won’t bother me now, thought the irken,still unmoving, though his conscience nagged to get Dib and inflict asmuch damage as possible to both Ganon and the creator of OOTZV. Not tomention blow up that castle, though he found an indefinite reason forwanting to do so. The alien snickered at the prospect of an explosion.
Throughout the day, the looming sun had been indescribablyunbearable, though now that Zim was in vicious rage it seemed to engagein even hotter radiations of light and refused to give a respite with acloaking veil of clouds. In fact, any sort of water vapor in the skyseemed to have disintegrated from the awful heat. Still lethargic, theirken crawled into a slight sitting position and dropped down again,finding his head pounded from screaming so much and ripping his body toand fro.
A discreet figure came into view, features black and marred by theblistering temperature so badly it almost seemed to be wavering andsplitting apart before Zim’s heat-plagued brain. Though, he recognizedit... somehow…
“Dib’s sister?” muttered the alien, slurred and subdued by the sun.Yes, it was… That was Gaz… The irken’s head snapped up and he rubbedhis eyes, feeling new strength.
“What are you doing here?” he barked, narrowing his eyes to both block out the light and seem intimidating.
Gaz’s fist clenched. “I was going to beat up Ganon to get out ofthis horrible land, so I could get back to my house and get you out ofmy sight… but they said girls weren’t eligible. Instead they gave medirections to his... castle, and a list of weapons a knight could useto beat the stinking pants off his butt.”
One of her eyes opened, which seemed to be even more dangerouslooking than if they were closed, and the green irken took a step backfor his safety.
“Oh, no, I’m not doing it,” said the alien, catching on faster thanhe would normally, furrowing his brow. “Zim shall play no part in theplot! Now, go, little girl, and--”
Gaz reared and took up his neck collar, face dangerously closed. She was shaking in pure fury.
“You’ll do it, Zim,” hissed the girl, both of her eyes open, pupilsin a manic expression, “you’ll beat his socks off so I can go home andyou can go back to your world domination.”
The irken was about to protest, but instead the girl threw him tothe floor, whipping out a scroll. World domination? The mission, thatwas right!
Zim was slightly agape at himself for forgetting about his purposeon Earth. If he didn’t beat Ganon, the Armada would never come… he’dnever prove himself and live in exile in a video game…
“Fine,” said the irken grudgingly, taking up the scroll with impunity, just having narrowly avoided Gaz’s punishment.
The girl crossed her arms, scrutinizing the alien, even though hereyes were shut again. “Oh, and one more thing… Don’t go straight to thetower. You need those weapons. Without them you’d be blasted intohorrible pieces.”
In saying the last part, Zim winced at her disregard and dull toneas she turned on her heel and slowly disappeared from view.

The list was surprisingly short. Zim smirked inwardly, underestimating the task.
Perhaps too much.