Lucy: Let's step into the portal, KIM!

KIM: Okey-dokey!

(KIM leaps for the portal, but Lucy catches her just in time)

Lucy: KIM! What are you doing?

KIM: Goin' into the portal shiny thingie!

(Lucy slaps her forehead)

Lucy: KIM, if we just jump in like that, all that will happen is that we'll float in the endless void forever! We have to wait if we want to get to Earth!

KIM: But'cha told me to!

Lucy: I know, but I was going to tell you when to get in.

KIM: Oooh... Okay!

Lucy: Okay, KIM.... NOW!!!

(They both jump in, KIM is screaming wildly. They spin and twist, making Lucy sick to her stomach. Suddenly, the swirling colors cease, and all that surrounds them is Earth. Lucy stands there, horrified, but not showing it in front of KIM)

Lucy: So this is Earth. I expected so much more! This place is nothing but a pitiful ball of filth!

(Lucy regains confidence as she says these insults)

Voice: Who said that? And why are you here?

Lucy: A better question would be: Who are you ?

(An Irken steps out of the shadows of what appears to be a wrecked house)

Voice: I am Zim.

Lucy: Zim... I thought you were dead! Why are you here?

Zim: To invade the Earth, and conquer the filthy planet!

Lucy: That's why we're here!

Zim: Who's 'we'?

Lucy: KIM! Get over here!

(KIM walks over with GIR, whom she'd found earlier when Lucy wasn't looking)

Zim: GIR! Who is that?

GIR: I have nooo idea! But she's a robot! Woohoo!

Lucy: Yeah, that's my SIR Unit, KIM. he's kinda... Um...

Zim: Stupid? Yeah, GIR too.

(For a moment, Lucy's eyes are glued to Zim. His scorched clothing with black spots on it(from the explosion), his antennae, his Invader-Like sneer... She looks away quickly. Suddenly, Zim's clothes repair themselves, and the black spots dissapear. He seems not at all surprised)

Zim: And you thought I was dead?

Lucy: Er... Yeah... Um, the Tallest told me so... That's why they sent me here. For your replacement.

Zim: They could never replace THE MIGHT OF ZIM! No offence, uh...

Lucy: Name's Invader Lucy.

(Lucy holds out hand and Zim takes it. Something inside of Lucy flutters. Her heart? No. Invaders don't have or feel the need to have emotions. But she swears, she felt something... They shake hands)

Zim: Hi.

Lucy: So, uh... What's with all the reckage?

Zim: Uh... Just a minor mishap I had with one of my machines.

GIR: Ya! It was all like, BOOM! KABOOM! KABAMBAMBOOM!

(Lucy raises her eyebrow, and Zim smiles nervously because he knew he'd been found out)

Lucy: Oh, so that's why the Tallest thought you were dead! They must've known you'd blown up something, and thought you'd blown up with it!

Zim: Uh... Heh-heh... Yeah. Anyway, we can't be seen as Irkens on the streets! We have to get inside!

Lucy: Get inside where? I thought your place blew up...?

(Zim presses a button and the house instantly springs up out of the ground, making Lucy jump in surprise)

Lucy: W-wow... That house just built itself !

Zim: Yeah, I know. It's some Irken technology I managed to bring with me. Let's go inside.

(Lucy follows Zim into the odd-looking house. Inside, they walk into the kitchen. There, Zim walks over to the toilet, and motions for Lucy to get in)

Lucy: Eeww... Why would I want to go in there ?

Zim: It's the entrance to the underground base. Get in.

Lucy: Okay...

(Lucy steps in and swirls down to the base, followed by Zim. Down there, Zim sets up the disguise machine)

Lucy: What is that?

Zim: Standard disguise mechanism. It'll give you a disguise so that the filthy humans won't recognise you.

Lucy: Okay, but how does it work?

(Zim presses various buttons and steps away)

Zim: Stand right here...

(Lucy stands in the spot Zim tells her)

Zim: ...and find out!