Chapter 19 If people can see him, he has turned visible. But if he is going to die, it's not going to matter anymore. And how did he get short when everything else moves through him? Those thoughts are whirling around in Rie's head, laying in her bed, where she was put after she was brought home by a teacher, who is now upstairs talking to her parents about what happened. Rie can hear them talking, but the words doesn't mean anything to her. In her arms, curled up and crying, is Aye. The moment he saw her, covered in Seth's blood, he had been crying, not wanting to leave Rie's side. Rie, who didn't feel lik rejecting anything, allowed him to lay in bed with her. And to be honest, it feels nice to have somebody next to you, crying too. Aye isn't a much of a talker, doesn't want to know what happened and only wants to be with her, and that's good. She wouldn't be able to talk to anybody about what happened. How is she going to explain everything? Nothing looks real anymore. She wraps her arms tighter around Aye's little body and puts her nose in his hair. It smells like spring and sand. She kisses it. How could this have happened? She was right about Alte, that guy isn't ticking right. Fanny breaks up with him, to return to her old boyfriend, but that's no reason to start shooting. And Marten only wanted to protect her and Rie, she didn't want Marten to get hurt. She never thought about the possibilty of dying in the process. And maybe nor did Marten or Seth think about that, they only thought about saving the other person. Feeling guilty that she slept, Rie wakes up because of the sun shining through her window. Aye is attached to her body, drooling over her clothes while sleeping. Rie sits up and ruffles through her hair. How could she sleep? While Seth is dying? Or maybe, he has died already. And she never got a chance to tell him goodbye. Or tell him that she does love him! Mean tears are focring their way up again and she clamps her arms around Aye to cry. Aye awake abruptly. ,,Wha...huh?...Rie?” Rie loosens her grip and stares at Aye, crying. ,,I don't....I don't want Seth to die.” She says with a shivering voice. She really doesn't want that to happen. If she knew Seth was going to shield her, she would have prevented him from doing so! How could she have let this happen to him? He's going to die! Aye stares at his big sister crying and his own eyes start to shimmer in tears too. Before Rie can glomp him though, her father hurries inside her room. ,,Rie, the hospital called. He... he's alive. He's save!” He cries out, almost tripping over the chair that's standing close to the door. He jumps on the bed, next to Aye and Rie and hugs them. Rie is blown away by what he just said. He's alive? He's gonna make it? Seth is going to live?! ,,Seth's really there!” Her father cries out with an emotion that's a mix between happyness and nonbelieving. ,,He's visible and he's going to be fine!” Rie lays still for a moment, staring into space. Seth is alive and people can see him. Something weird has happened, but he's alive. Seth won't go away! Not wanting to waste another single second, Rie crawls out of her father's arms, launches herself through her window and starts running. She doesn't care she is wearing her pj's, she only cares about how fast she can reach the hospital. Panting, she leans on her knees in front of the information desk of the hospital. She ran all the way down here, took the subway for a little part, and ran out of it. Everybody was staring at her, because her hair was obviously a mess and she was still wearing her pj's. The lady behind the information desk stares at Rie and frowns. ,,Are you okay? Did something happen?” She asks with a worried tone in her voice. Rie shakes her head. ,,No...no, I need to.... where is....” Her chest is aching from running so hard. She bends through her legs and gasps for air. It's stinging in her chest. The lady hurries from behind the desk and helps Rie up. She forces her to sit down in a chair and gets a glass of water for her. ,,There, there, girl. First calm down so I can help you, okay?” Rie nods and gulps some water down, the waoman is holding in front of her mouth. She never realized water could taste so good. When she feels like she got everything eased down again, she throws it out: ,,I need to see Seth.” The lady smiles. ,,Ah, you're visiting somebody. When was he brought in?” ,,He was brought in because of that shooting accident at my school!” Rie says, feeling panicking all of a sudden. What if something has happened? Maybe he isn't visible! He has to be, right? Tears stream down her face and she claws her hands in the lady's sweater. ,,I need to see him, please! I don't want him to die! Please!” ,,Calm down, girl. I will look in the computer and see where Seth is, okay? Then I will bring you there, is that a good idea?” The lady says with a kind voice, handing her the glass of water back in her hands. Rie stares at the woman, as she walks back to her desk to look up Seth's information. She never thought people would be so kind to her when she act so freaked out like this. With the back of her hand she whipes her tears of her face. ,,He's laying here. I think he's sleeping, so please don't try to wake him up. He needs his rest.” The lady leaves Rie in front of a light green door. It's closed and on the tag of the door is written: “Seth Cooper.” Apparently her father has given the information to the hospital, at least, that sounds most logic, because she can't really recall what happened between the shooting and her father telling her Seth survived. She takes a deep breath and places her hand on the doorknop, soflty pushing it open. A gently beepingsound enters her ears and a shadowdark room appears in front of her eyes. The white sheets on the bed aren't to miss and the person in it is laying motionless. A lot of medical apparature is detached with strings and tubes to his body. His chest is going up and down slowly. A monitor is showing the gently flow of his heartbeat. Rie comes closer to the bed and feels her breath freezing in her body. It's Seth, it's really him. Though he looks terrible. His skin is so white, his eyes have dark circles around them and his lips don't look soft anymore. She wonders if the color of his eyes are still the same shade of blue, or of they will be faded too. But Seth it sleeping now and she can't wake him up. So she takes a seat next to his bed and looks at him, breathing slowly in and out, like it's a hard thing for him to do. His blond hair is around his head, not as shiny as they used to look. They look so faded. Maybe it's because there is not much light in this room, but he looks so terrible. Like he doesn't have much chance on living anymore. Rie heaves her shoulders up and burries her face in her hands. She don't want him to die! Her dad told her he would live, but Seth looks like he lost his last battle! Tears start to stream down her face again and she just can't stop it. She hates what happened in school and she wishes Seth would have never gave up his life for her! She isn't worth it! ,,Don't... don't cry.” Seth's unsteady voice breaks the sounds of her tears. Rie looks up and stares into Seth's white face, who is doing his best smile, but he doesn't really succeed. His eyes are as blue as the sky, like they always were. ,,I don't... I don't like it when... when you cry.” ,,I don't like it either.” Rie mumbles, hiccuping in her tears. She reaches out for his hands and holds it, strangling his fingers into hers. Suprised she stares at it. His touch, his skin, it's warm. It's not feeling like cold or like a cloud anymore. It's feeling like real skin, warm and a little sweaty. Seth also stares down at their hands. ,,It feels... different.” He says. Ofcourse he must feel thinsg different now too, Rie thinks and she smiles. ,,Is different wrong?” Seth closes his eyes. ,,No... it's good.” Rie moves her chair closer to his bed. She is so happy that he's alive. She wouldn't have cared if he was still invisble, the important thing is that he's alive and with her. ,,How are you feeling?” It takes a while before Seth opens his eyes again and a little part of Rie is worried. But he looks at her and smiles. ,,Weird... I'm... I'm sensing things... I never sensed before.” ,,Yeah?” Rie asks, lifting his hand up and holding it close to her body, cuddling it. ,,Warth... cold... itching... immense pain.” Seth sums up. ,,Sleep... hunger... tickling...smell” ,,You never sensed those before?” Rie asks. Seth shakes his head and places his other hand slowly on his throat. ,,And I feel... weird here.” ,,What do you mean?” Rie wonders what he means and she bows closer to his face. ,,I don't know... like... my body wants... to throw something... out.” Seth mumbles. Talking his hard for him and he closes his eyes again, breathing a little bit harder now. ,,Throwing out? You mean, you feel sick?” Rie asks. ,,That wouldn't be suprising, considering the situation you put yourself into.” Still in front of his face, Rie wonders if she should do what her body is screaming for. Seth's eyelashes are trembling softly, his nosetrils are looking so soft. Slowly she bends even closer towards him then she already was and plants a kiss on his mouth. Seth opens his eyes lazily and smiles faintly. ,,I knew it...” He says. ,,I knew you... you had a crush... on me.” ,,Shut up before I change my mind.” Rie says, also smiling and she sits back on her chair. ,,I'm sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep, Seth. You need it.” ,,Are you staying here?” Seth asks, really sounding exhausted, as he once again closes his eyes and breaths in and out heavily. Rie whipes the hair out of his face and smiles. ,,Yes, I'm here.” ,,Have you been here all this time?” Rie's father walks in the room, close behind him her mother and little brother Aye, who is carrying her clothes. Aye walks up to his sister and dumps the clothes in her lap, sighing hard. ,,This is heavy! You can't run out in your pj's!” Rie doesn't look up or turn around but keeps her eyes focused on Seth. ,,Don't talk so loud, he's sleeping.” Is all that she says. Her parents and brother all take a seat and for a moment they are all quiet. They are all staring at the boy who sleeping in the bed. ,,So, this is him, huh?” Her father asks quietly, uneasy to interrupt the silence again. Rie nods. ,,You knew him?” Her mother asks her husband. ,,Why didn't I knew him? You don't tell me anything, do you?” ,,We sort of did.” Rie's dad says, smiling faintly. ,,This is the Seth we talked about. You know, the boy with those bright blue eyes.” Mother looks uneasy and looks at the sleeping Seth. ,,He is? You were in contact with him all this time?” she asks. ,,And you never invited him over in our house?” Rie clenches her fists. Why does thisconversation have to go like this? Why can't everybody just accept that Seth is here and get over with it? Why make such a fuzz?!She snaps her head in her mother's direction. ,,He was in our house!” Rie hisses. ,,He was there all the time, okay?! Happy now?” Once again she can't prevent the tears streaming down her face. Two small, soft hands touch her face. ,,Don't be sad, Rie. I knew he was in the house.” Aye's squeeky voice claims. Before she can stop him, he has climbed on top of her lap and slapped his arms around her chest. Rie pets his head softly and nods. Then she looks at her mother again, who is, in her turn, looking very puzzled. ,,What do you mean he was in our house? When?” ,,All the time for the past few months.” Rie says. ,,But I guess you just thought I was losing my mind, talking to 'myself' and making sudden movements, huh?” Her words clearly affect her mom, cuz she shakes her head and starts to stutter. ,,I never.... I n-never thought t-t-that, Rie.I though... i-i-it might be... stress, or typic-c-cal girlthings.” Lucky for her mother, father bugs in. He puts an arm around his wife and hugs her. ,,I'm sorry, honey. It might have been partly typical girlthings, but most of the time, it was Seth.” Now it's time for her mother to cry. She burries her face in her husband's chest and cries so hard. She must feel very confused and attacked right now and Rie feels sorry she snapped like that. On Rie's lap, Aye is having a mindbattle of his own. His mother is crying and Rie needs his hugs too, what to do? He quickly slides of Rie's lap, runs to his mom, kisses her on the elbow, because he can't reach her face. And runs back to Rie, climbing back on her lap. Rie's mom is still sobbing her eyes out, words become clear through her tears. ,,I am... so...con-confused!” Father pats her head gently, while she whines on: ,,I don't know... I still don't know... how... how Seth....” ,,How Seth could be in our house without you knowing?” Rie asks, she can't help her voice sounding so harsh. How come she just can't sound like what she feels like? I mean, she didn't mean to make her mom cry like this, but still her voice is not making anything better. But her mother nods at her question, her snottering gets quieter and she looks up at Rie. ,,How could he?” She asks with an unsteady voice. How can your mom turn out to look so fragile and so little? This doesn't look like the mother she knows. She knows her mother as a strong woman, who wouldn't go down easily for others. And now she is sobbing like a baby, looking so vonurable and confused. ,,Because nobody could see him, but me.” Rie says, not looking at her mother. She feels so weird. A little ashamed of telling this. It's like sharing something very embarassing. Rie, who has been holding Seth's hand all this time, huggles Aye with her other arm, her cheeks burning like a fire. Her mother whipes over her face with the back of her hand. ,,Nobody can see him? I... I don't understand, Rie.” She whispers. But it's not Rie's turn to respond, instead Seth is speaking. ,,Like you said...” He says hoarsly. ,,Nobody except Rie... could see me.” His blue eyes look kindly at Rie's mother. ,,It's hard... to believe, I know... but it's true...” Rie's mother blinks at the sight of Seth, staring back in his eyes, lost for words. And Seth just smiles. ,,Nice to meet you... once again.” He whispers. ,,Once... again?” Her mother asks, obviously really confused. ,,Yes, dear.” Rie's father explains. ,,He is the little boy Seth from when Rie was little. You remember? That friend of Rie when Aye was born? He moved soon after that though.” ,,He is, I remember him. I showed... I showed you that picture album, Rie.” Her mother says, now focused on Rie. And Rie, still looking at Seth, nods. ,,Yes, Seth and I looked in it, together.” Seth's facial expression changes, he frowns and opens his mouth a little. ,,I... I remember it too, now... About when I was little, I mean.” Rie stares at him. What does he mean, he remembers?