Comments for Story #20626urn:uuid:b6b4771c-59f0-2b51-0857-3fa9bec389e7Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T11:47:52-08:00
but you don't die in my story... you just nearly die.... hihihihi
muahahahahaaaa
anyways.... noooooooooooo... etc.]]>Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T11:44:03-08:00
but i least i was there ^^]]>Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T11:41:53-08:00
]]>Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T11:37:19-08:00Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T10:17:55-08:00
dog food actually does tast quite nice... just the biscuits though... hmm.... *goes down to eat dogfood*
author's note: yes this did happen ^^]]>Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T10:14:50-08:00Comment by Lanathae2005-11-08T10:12:02-08:00Comment by angel_of_beauty_and_light2005-11-06T14:49:12-08:00
Ack, I am actually shivering now! Waa, I hate this feeling *pouts*]]>Comment by Nemya2005-11-06T08:15:09-08:00
Wonderful chapter, she died....
So sweet. NOOO another story has ended... So awesome... I mean the story...]]>Comment by Nemya2005-11-01T11:06:21-08:00
"Disgusting man" How true. Made me laugh so much xD
But it's such an amazing and wonderful chapter, and at the end it's so sad.. All beautiful, and then Akito comes and ruins it all. Typical x.X
And then Nari screaming at the end, oh dear such typical her. The peace was ruined by Akito.
Such awesome description of things, and it's great and very effective how it goes to the 3rd person at the end...
Hmmm. I don't know about her dying. Seems too sudden... But I don't think it'd do very well continuing for much longer, as this kind of seems the final death. What would appear a good idea (to me, I know it's a crummy idea) is if you had one more chapter, Kuroumo half-waking up in hospital, only she doesn't remember much at all and... I suck at decribing. But then she dies. Because you can't have something like this and not kill her off (awful choice of words) as this is kind of final. But I think you should have one more chapter as a kind of reflecting-on-things chapter, and you could be half-awake to see Gooey or whoever around your hospital bed. But that is it. And the chapter should be centered on your thoughts and yourself, as you are half-concious and not able to properly see around you. But then you should die. Sorry.
Marik: I /told/ you it was a stupid idea.
Mel: Yeah, actually, it is. But I'm not deleting it s it took me ages to write down!! Sorry for my pathetic ideas D: