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Rain by CoStanleyQueen5    
SizeSize: 1700x2305
Views Views140
FavesFavorites2
Score Score 3
Comments Comments8
Description
January 12, 2008 - CoStanleyQueen5
When I'm coming home from school, I walk on the side of the street closest to the road.

Yesterday, I asked myself why.

I realised I do it because it is dangerous.

I do it because I hate myself.

I do it because I don't care if I die.

What's left for me in life? I've lost so many people, so many friends in the past few weeks.

And my life has come crashing down.

And when I'm alone, I realise that no one is thinking of me.

No one needs me.

No one cares.

And, even though I have known this for a long time, it's too painful to keep locked up inside.

So I cry.

But who's there to listen?

---

On the way back from school, it started to rain.

No one knew I was crying.


I used the wrong pens to colour my hair. It doesn't look like me.

Maybe that's a good thing.
General Info
Rating No objectionable content Media Other/Mixed
Submitted January 12, 2008
License Berne Convention

8 Comments
thegoldleaf
May 31, 2008 12:42 AM by: thegoldleaf
hi i hope your feeling better now and i didn't no of this place for some time but the day you put this pic in was the same day a year age my big big bro tryed to kill himself so i know how you feel my heart gos to everyone out there that had to go though harder shoot then that
 
B
Feb 15, 2008 09:54 AM by: B
Thats soooo sad!

I hope your feeling better now because I know how you feel

I've never known anyone thats died but I'be lost friends and family to hate and lies and it hurts alot.

Please keep going on in life and dont give up
things will get better
 
SasukeAndMomijiHaHa
Jan 21, 2008 11:37 AM by: SasukeAndMomijiHaHa
i know that your sick and you havnt been on much. but you have been on...

please reply to my comments. please please please.

knowing that i wont see you for longer still is so horrible.

im missing you so much.

i cried because i missed you so much. thats how much i missed you. sorry for swearing in the last comment but i was purely saying what i was saying in my head

life is so boring without you.

so empty.

ill protect you.

forever

ill be your friend until the day i die

:]
 
CoStanleyQueen5
Jan 23, 2008 08:27 AM by: CoStanleyQueen5
I'm glad, but...

You know, me and Ellie go to gym with Daisy's little sister.

On Tuesday, her sister told Ellie that everyone in class was really worried about me.

Then Ellie told me.

And do you know what I did?

I laughed.

I laughed, because there's no way anyone could be truly worried about me.

Only half the class really knows I exist.

To all the others I'm just... No, I don't know what I am.


So please,

Please tell me,

Was anyone really, honestly worried?

Or are they just saying that they are?
 
SasukeAndMomijiHaHa
Jan 23, 2008 08:40 AM by: SasukeAndMomijiHaHa
people every day kept asking meh:

wheres emma wheres emma?

i dont know if other ppl were worried.

i cant see inside their heads...

but i worried.

i worried to hell and back.

do you believe me?
 
NightRat
Jan 16, 2008 12:41 PM by: NightRat
You haven't lost me.
You will never lose me.
 
SasukeAndMomijiHaHa
Jan 13, 2008 10:11 AM by: SasukeAndMomijiHaHa
thats strange. thats the EXACT same idea that was going through my mind i mean exactly. i want you to know that even if you think youve lost me or i dont like you anymore or something i want you to know that i will allways love you for the brave selfless person you are and i will love you for that always. whatever you think about me. sometimes when no one comments on the pictures like this...


...it doesnt mean they dont care.....



perhaps....



its because they have gone to cry themselves. i would know. every time its the same.


i see the picture.

sometimes i leave my mark.

then i go to my room and cry for as long as i take.

i feel sick

i loose my appetite

i sit in the middle of the floor,

curl up in the dark

and cry

its true.

i can feel the tears coming now.

and my hands are shaking too.

when i smile it means i like you very much.

when i laugh it means im so glad to have such a witty friend

but when i give you a tight hug before you go home...

thats me saying...

look after yourself

and please for fucks sake be there tomorrow with a smile on your face for once.

because i care.

i care about you so much and you will never even know how much that is.

i can see your pain

i can feel your pain

and i try to hold back the tears too.

i promise that i mean all this. i promise with alll my heart.

i may hate myself

but i dont hate you.

if you were to disappear my life wouldnt be worth living.

thats the honest truth.

have you heard that greenday song?

here comes the rain again...

falling from the stars...

drenched in my pain again...

becoming who we are...

i think it fits what we are going through.

if i could put up all of my pictures without them being rejected...

maybe you'd understand that im in the same boat a you are.

i cant type witthout making mistakes now because my hands are shaking so much.

the real reason i phoned you the other day was to pretty much say everything i said here. but i wasnt brave enough. i knew you werent that happy to hear me on the phone and i knew exactly what you meant by stuff. its what i say to my parents if im drawing. im not brave enough for anything thats why i hate myself because im so fucking cowardly and stupid! im shouting it all in my head.

but my point is i dont want you to be unhappy all the time. but when i try and be happy around you your still as gloomy as ever and it makes me want to run away to my house and sit there in the dark and cry. it makes me wander what im doing wrong.

i remember the times i walk home and i just cant hold back the tears. so i run covering my face. making a fool of myself.

does this make you feel better?

knowing that im feeling the same pain and crying every night aswell.

the reason i never told anyone...


was so no one would get hurt or feel the need to place the blame on themselves.



like i did.


i love you so much emma-chan.
 
ZeroMidnight
Jan 12, 2008 11:03 AM by: ZeroMidnight
Wow, I love this! It expresses so much emotion, and it's very well colored.
Sometimes I just go to my room, sit at my table, and let myself cry as much as I want. I feel better when I'm done. You shouldn't hold in your emotions for too long. Make sure you let them out so they don't get the best of you at the worst possible time. :)

Anyway, *faves*.
 
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