The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Stud!

I've been wanting to transform my fav. CATS characters into horses for a while now...so, to start us off, we have the Rum Tum Tugger struttin' his stuff as a STALLION, BABY!

I re-wrote his song/poem. It's basically the same thing (minus the repeatetive chorus; I love it, I was just too lazy to type it), only describing a fussy stallion rather then a cat. Horse-ology sayings throughout. WARNING: You might not get it unless you've been around horses.
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The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious Horse

If you offer him alfalfa, he'd rather have grass.

If you put him in a barn, he would much prefer a shack
If you stick him in a shack, he would rather have a barn
If you put him on the track, then he'd rather chase a steer
If you set him on a steer, he'd rather run the track.


The Rum Tum Tugger isn't really that great!
When you ask him to trot, he only wants to crawl
He's always on the wrong side of every gate
And as soon as he's turned out, he wants back in the stall
He'll sit and wait til it's good n' late
And scare them all awake when he kicks the wall.


The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Stud!
His disobliging ways are a matter of habit.
If you set him on an ox*, then he only wants the hunt
If there isn't any fox, then he won't chase a rabbit
If you lead him to his box, he'd rather do a stunt
He won't eat the oats offered up by the groom...No!

So you'll catch him in it right up to his hocks
When they put it away in the feeding room!

The Rum Tum Tugger is nippy and pinching
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care to be tacked-up
So he'll spook at a leaf in the middle of your cinching
Cuz the look on your face is a helluva crack-up!

The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Stud
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care to be tacked-up

The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Horse
And there isn't and use for you to doubt it!
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!

*OX: A type of jump (also known as an “oxer”)
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Done with sharpies and colored pencils.
Image (C) MW Roach
Rum Tum Tugger/CATS (C) The Very Useful Company