Chapter 1 - I Love You Not
Submitted October 25, 2009 Updated October 25, 2009 Status Complete | Liking someone is one thing, but loving someone is a whole new level. Sequel to I Like You, OneShot
Category:
Anime/Manga » Naruto series » Couples/Pairings |
Chapter 1 - I Love You Not
Chapter 1 - I Love You Not
A/N: This is dedicated to my boyfriend Johnny! I love you! Oh, this is the sequel to I Like You. I would’ve had the guy be Naruto in this one, but he was already dating Hinata in the first one. Oh well! Oh yeah, and this is based on how John and I got back together last month. Enjoy! Oh, I apologize if some characters appear OOC! Especially Neji.
Edit: This was written in 2007. And please ignore the disgusting affection for John. That is also long over with.
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Disclaimer: I only own Oruuk and Suchina and this story. Everyone else belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Bow down before his greatness!
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I Love You Not
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Relationships. It’s easy in the beginning, but after a while the magic floats away. You start to notice things. Some things are good, like intentionally setting the dates when neither of you have to work or do any homework. Others are bad, such as they don’t double check and realize it’s too early or too late. Relationships can be formed, and can easily be broken.
-------------
I sighed as I leaned against the wall, running my hand through my short pink hair. My green eyes scanned the hall, searching for my friends. Seeing no one, I rested my head back, staring at the ceiling.
I was the start of a new school year. My boyfriend Sai had graduated, and I am now a senior. I was a little sad that I wouldn’t be seeing him at school anymore, but I could always call him.
The days passed quickly, everyone now adjusted to their new schedule. I stood in my usual spot, smiling when I saw my friend Hinata approaching. We smiled at each other and said our hellos.
“Hey Hinata, enjoy your break?”
“Yes, it was very memorable with Naruto beside me.”
“Ha ha! Glad he could fill it up with fun!”
“What about you Sakura?” I lowered my head, my eyes downcast. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s nothing. It’s just…it didn’t go quite as planned. Her smile turned into a frown, gasping when she smiled and rummaged though her purse, handing to me a neatly folded piece of paper. What’s this?
“Here, read this. You can return it in second period.” With that, she waved goodbye and hurried to her first period class. Curious, I unfolded the paper, my eyes widening at the writer of the letter.
“Neji…Hyuuga.” It…it’s from him. But why would Hinata give me this? I…don’t understand.
-------------
Truth is, we used to be an item. We dated each other for almost 3 years. We were so happy together. I still remember how Hinata introduced us a few months before we got together. He was very depressed and low-confident. I didn’t like seeing him like that, so I always checked on him, trying to bring a smile to his face. And with each visit, we grew closer. Then one day, he asked me for advice, saying he liked someone. I felt sort of jealous, but I helped him out. I was pretty surprised when I found out he was talking about me. Since than, I saw a new side of him. He was a sweet and honest person, sensitive to everyone around him. He was shy and didn’t know what to say, but always found a way to make me smile and laugh. His voice was comforting and heart-melting, his smile making me blush. And even when things went bad, him…cheating and me saying unnecessary things like calling him…well, what girls shouldn’t call their guys, we somehow still ran back into each others arms. I knew all of his secrets, and he knew mine. And if he ever left me alone, I didn’t know what I’d do. But I’d let him go, if it would make him happy.
However, it didn’t last forever. My older cousin Oruuk wouldn’t let us see each other for a while, which made us both upset. Also, there was my silly crush on Sasuke. We were hanging out more often, and it made me wishy-washy. I ended up dumping Neji, for good. He was angry, very angry. So angry he insulted me by calling me a dog and a slut, along with many other things. I became enraged and struck back, making matters worse. Eventually, he moved out of Japan to the US where some relatives lived. We haven’t talked to each other since. Although every once in a while Hinata would bring him up, but I would just babble on how much Sasuke was better with his looks and grades, so and so forth. But deep down, I longed to hear his voice.
------------
I handed the letter to Hinata without even looking at her. My eyes were fixated on the table, not wanting to make contact. Why did she have to give me this letter?
“So, he’s back here in Japan.”
“Yes, his mother thought it’d be best for him.”
“Why.”
“Hmm? Why what Sakura?”
“Why did you give me this letter? I…I’m with Sai now…I can’t just…”
“But Neji is my brother, and he wishes to see you.”
Lies. All lies. He said he’d find another girl. He probably has one still in the US. Besides, he told me was two-timing me when we broke up. He has that little whore.
“Tch, yeah right.”
“But it’s right here, he missed you all this time.”
“He’s probably lying. I bet he knew you’d show this to me.”
Ignore it. Don’t stir it back up. I’m with Sai now. Sai is my boyfriend, Neji is an ex. It didn’t work out than, and it wouldn’t work out now.
“Sakura, can’t you see how much he yearns to be with you again?”
“And what was it who urged me to tell Sai I liked him?”
She stopped pressuring me after that, not knowing how to reply. I let my mind wander as I wrote down the notes for class.
I won’t crawl back to him. I have Sai now. Sai is my boyfriend. I can’t just leave him just to be duped or end up in another roller coaster. It wouldn’t work. No. It won’t. Don’t think about it. Don’t go hoping. Stop…
I need to stop. Sai told me he loves me, and I won’t leave him hanging. We still have yet to have our first kiss together. I am not going to ruin our relationship. Not for the one who betrayed me. But than again, I betrayed him as well.
-----------
A few months passed, my time with Sai limited. I rarely saw him at all. It made me feel so lonely and depressed. And my heart, it didn’t react. With each phone call, I wasn’t me. It was like I was irritated with his calls and I never replied if he called while I was gone. I never blushed, smiled throughout the calls, or my heart, it never skipped or raced. I couldn’t even say…that I loved him. Even my mind won’t think those words.
I never thought of him, dreamed of him, nothing. Instead, I only pressed on Hinata to tell me everything she knew about Neji. I am such a hypocrite. Here I am, saying Sai’s my boyfriend and it’s over with Neji while I’m stalking Neji and ignoring Sai. I hate myself. I’m a terrible, disgusting person. I just can’t take this anymore.
----------
I was home, sitting on my bed as I took a deep breath and chewed on the side of my mouth. I dialed Sai’s house number, my heart pounding and my breaths quickened. My body froze when he answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Uhm…hi Sai.”
“Oh, hey Sakura!”
“Uhm…Sai? I…have some…bad news…”
“…What is it?”
“Look, I’m really sorry…but…it really…isn’t working…do you…understand what I…mean?”
“Yeah…”
“It’s just that…I do LIKE you…but I don’t LOVE you…I hope we can…still be friends?”
“Yeah, sure.” I smiled gently, quickly saying good-bye, hanging up and sighing. I stood up, feeling as light as a feather. I’ve never felt to…free. I blinked my eyes when I remembered there was still something else I had to do. But I’ll wait, I just want to relax and think over my feelings, so I won’t have any doubts or regrets.
-------------
A couple weeks went by, my cousins teasing me and saying how relieved they were. I was a little irked, but they were right in some ways. I grinned to myself as I thought of what would be transpiring later. It was time.
----------
I sat under a tree, humming a song while eating some dango. A sound of footsteps caught my ears, getting closer and closer. It was from behind me, a deep voice muttering silently. A boy a year older than me froze beside me, looking down with his pale eyes. His long dark brown hair was kept in a loose ponytail, swishing by his waistline. He seemed to look comfortable in his white T and baggy jeans.
He took a seat by me, his eyes gazing at the scenery. I caught him glimpsing at me sometimes, his cheeks a tinge of pink. My stomach was in knots, my heart about to explode. I didn’t really know what to say, but I knew I had to start the conversation.
“So…you’re back.” He merely nodded his head, his eyes elsewhere. “How was it in American?”
“It was…all right. I’ve heard from my friends that you’re currently with someone called…Sai.” I shook my head, him looking slightly confused.
“I broke up with him a few weeks ago. It didn’t…feel right.”
“What do you mean ‘feel right’?”
“I mean…I just didn’t feel anything. Sure, I liked him as a friend. But I didn’t…love him.”
“Explain.”
“I…well; he never really made me smile or laugh. Sure, there was one time before we got together, but that was it. During phone calls, I’m bored and hoping it ends soon. I’m never excited, I don’t blush, my heart isn’t going crazy, nothing. Just, nothing.”
“Did I…do that?” My voice was stuck, my face heating up. My hands fumbled around as I looked at the ground. I felt his eyes watching me, waiting for my answer. “Sakura?”
“Well…uhm…I…unh…uhm…yes…”
“So, after dating me, no other guy was for you.” I glanced at his face, a smirk in place. I grew more embarrassed as I stared at the grass.
“Shut up…you still hurt me.”
I felt him droop, his expression different. I looked to see sadness in his eyes.
“I’m sorry…”
“Did you know how much I cried? I was torn inside at everything you said. Sure, I cussed at you when I was angry, but I cuss all the time. But you, you never cussed. Then saying you loved HER all along? I wanted to just kill myself.”
“I…I’m sorry. I was…I was just so upset. I thought we’d always be together…but when you said you liked Sasuke…I lost it. I asked Hinata to say things to make you jealous…instead you with that Sai guy…I was empty inside…I missed you so much. I wanted you to come back; I didn’t want to let you go…I’m nothing without you. I…I love you so much…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”
I couldn’t stop the tears running down my face, pulling him into my embrace as I held him tightly.
“It’s okay…it’s okay, I forgive you.”
“But I love you so much…I’d do anything for you…I’d even die for you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“B-But it’s true.”
“Don’t…I don’t want you to die…I don’t want to be alone…and stop apologizing…I don’t deserve it…” He shifted our bodies so it would be him holding me, his head upon mine.
“It’s true though…I would do anything for you…I love you so much…” We just sat there in each other’s embrace, our tears drying as we listened to each other breathe. I wanted to apologize so badly, but I couldn’t find the right words. In the end, I was able to make him smile.
“I’ll never leave you again. You’re the one I love for life, and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
-----------
Some of my family doubts him, but at least my older cousin Suchina supports us. Hinata is very ecstatic and hopes we’ll be future in-laws. Sure, there are still some bumps in the road ahead of us. But I know Neji’s right beside me to hold my hand for the entire journey. I know this relationship will turn into something more and deeper. Why? Because I truly, with all my heart, body and soul, love Neji Hyuuga, and no one else. And no one can change that fact. Ever.
--
A/N: Yeah, that’s KINDA how it happened, but not exactly. I’m sorry Sai/Sakura fans! But don’t worry, I’ll put up a new one-shot dedicated to that pairing for you guys later on! Well, I hope you liked it Johnny! I wuv you forever! Muah!
Edit: This was written in 2007. And please ignore the disgusting affection for John. That is also long over with.
--
Disclaimer: I only own Oruuk and Suchina and this story. Everyone else belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Bow down before his greatness!
--
I Love You Not
--
Relationships. It’s easy in the beginning, but after a while the magic floats away. You start to notice things. Some things are good, like intentionally setting the dates when neither of you have to work or do any homework. Others are bad, such as they don’t double check and realize it’s too early or too late. Relationships can be formed, and can easily be broken.
-------------
I sighed as I leaned against the wall, running my hand through my short pink hair. My green eyes scanned the hall, searching for my friends. Seeing no one, I rested my head back, staring at the ceiling.
I was the start of a new school year. My boyfriend Sai had graduated, and I am now a senior. I was a little sad that I wouldn’t be seeing him at school anymore, but I could always call him.
The days passed quickly, everyone now adjusted to their new schedule. I stood in my usual spot, smiling when I saw my friend Hinata approaching. We smiled at each other and said our hellos.
“Hey Hinata, enjoy your break?”
“Yes, it was very memorable with Naruto beside me.”
“Ha ha! Glad he could fill it up with fun!”
“What about you Sakura?” I lowered my head, my eyes downcast. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s nothing. It’s just…it didn’t go quite as planned. Her smile turned into a frown, gasping when she smiled and rummaged though her purse, handing to me a neatly folded piece of paper. What’s this?
“Here, read this. You can return it in second period.” With that, she waved goodbye and hurried to her first period class. Curious, I unfolded the paper, my eyes widening at the writer of the letter.
“Neji…Hyuuga.” It…it’s from him. But why would Hinata give me this? I…don’t understand.
-------------
Truth is, we used to be an item. We dated each other for almost 3 years. We were so happy together. I still remember how Hinata introduced us a few months before we got together. He was very depressed and low-confident. I didn’t like seeing him like that, so I always checked on him, trying to bring a smile to his face. And with each visit, we grew closer. Then one day, he asked me for advice, saying he liked someone. I felt sort of jealous, but I helped him out. I was pretty surprised when I found out he was talking about me. Since than, I saw a new side of him. He was a sweet and honest person, sensitive to everyone around him. He was shy and didn’t know what to say, but always found a way to make me smile and laugh. His voice was comforting and heart-melting, his smile making me blush. And even when things went bad, him…cheating and me saying unnecessary things like calling him…well, what girls shouldn’t call their guys, we somehow still ran back into each others arms. I knew all of his secrets, and he knew mine. And if he ever left me alone, I didn’t know what I’d do. But I’d let him go, if it would make him happy.
However, it didn’t last forever. My older cousin Oruuk wouldn’t let us see each other for a while, which made us both upset. Also, there was my silly crush on Sasuke. We were hanging out more often, and it made me wishy-washy. I ended up dumping Neji, for good. He was angry, very angry. So angry he insulted me by calling me a dog and a slut, along with many other things. I became enraged and struck back, making matters worse. Eventually, he moved out of Japan to the US where some relatives lived. We haven’t talked to each other since. Although every once in a while Hinata would bring him up, but I would just babble on how much Sasuke was better with his looks and grades, so and so forth. But deep down, I longed to hear his voice.
------------
I handed the letter to Hinata without even looking at her. My eyes were fixated on the table, not wanting to make contact. Why did she have to give me this letter?
“So, he’s back here in Japan.”
“Yes, his mother thought it’d be best for him.”
“Why.”
“Hmm? Why what Sakura?”
“Why did you give me this letter? I…I’m with Sai now…I can’t just…”
“But Neji is my brother, and he wishes to see you.”
Lies. All lies. He said he’d find another girl. He probably has one still in the US. Besides, he told me was two-timing me when we broke up. He has that little whore.
“Tch, yeah right.”
“But it’s right here, he missed you all this time.”
“He’s probably lying. I bet he knew you’d show this to me.”
Ignore it. Don’t stir it back up. I’m with Sai now. Sai is my boyfriend, Neji is an ex. It didn’t work out than, and it wouldn’t work out now.
“Sakura, can’t you see how much he yearns to be with you again?”
“And what was it who urged me to tell Sai I liked him?”
She stopped pressuring me after that, not knowing how to reply. I let my mind wander as I wrote down the notes for class.
I won’t crawl back to him. I have Sai now. Sai is my boyfriend. I can’t just leave him just to be duped or end up in another roller coaster. It wouldn’t work. No. It won’t. Don’t think about it. Don’t go hoping. Stop…
I need to stop. Sai told me he loves me, and I won’t leave him hanging. We still have yet to have our first kiss together. I am not going to ruin our relationship. Not for the one who betrayed me. But than again, I betrayed him as well.
-----------
A few months passed, my time with Sai limited. I rarely saw him at all. It made me feel so lonely and depressed. And my heart, it didn’t react. With each phone call, I wasn’t me. It was like I was irritated with his calls and I never replied if he called while I was gone. I never blushed, smiled throughout the calls, or my heart, it never skipped or raced. I couldn’t even say…that I loved him. Even my mind won’t think those words.
I never thought of him, dreamed of him, nothing. Instead, I only pressed on Hinata to tell me everything she knew about Neji. I am such a hypocrite. Here I am, saying Sai’s my boyfriend and it’s over with Neji while I’m stalking Neji and ignoring Sai. I hate myself. I’m a terrible, disgusting person. I just can’t take this anymore.
----------
I was home, sitting on my bed as I took a deep breath and chewed on the side of my mouth. I dialed Sai’s house number, my heart pounding and my breaths quickened. My body froze when he answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Uhm…hi Sai.”
“Oh, hey Sakura!”
“Uhm…Sai? I…have some…bad news…”
“…What is it?”
“Look, I’m really sorry…but…it really…isn’t working…do you…understand what I…mean?”
“Yeah…”
“It’s just that…I do LIKE you…but I don’t LOVE you…I hope we can…still be friends?”
“Yeah, sure.” I smiled gently, quickly saying good-bye, hanging up and sighing. I stood up, feeling as light as a feather. I’ve never felt to…free. I blinked my eyes when I remembered there was still something else I had to do. But I’ll wait, I just want to relax and think over my feelings, so I won’t have any doubts or regrets.
-------------
A couple weeks went by, my cousins teasing me and saying how relieved they were. I was a little irked, but they were right in some ways. I grinned to myself as I thought of what would be transpiring later. It was time.
----------
I sat under a tree, humming a song while eating some dango. A sound of footsteps caught my ears, getting closer and closer. It was from behind me, a deep voice muttering silently. A boy a year older than me froze beside me, looking down with his pale eyes. His long dark brown hair was kept in a loose ponytail, swishing by his waistline. He seemed to look comfortable in his white T and baggy jeans.
He took a seat by me, his eyes gazing at the scenery. I caught him glimpsing at me sometimes, his cheeks a tinge of pink. My stomach was in knots, my heart about to explode. I didn’t really know what to say, but I knew I had to start the conversation.
“So…you’re back.” He merely nodded his head, his eyes elsewhere. “How was it in American?”
“It was…all right. I’ve heard from my friends that you’re currently with someone called…Sai.” I shook my head, him looking slightly confused.
“I broke up with him a few weeks ago. It didn’t…feel right.”
“What do you mean ‘feel right’?”
“I mean…I just didn’t feel anything. Sure, I liked him as a friend. But I didn’t…love him.”
“Explain.”
“I…well; he never really made me smile or laugh. Sure, there was one time before we got together, but that was it. During phone calls, I’m bored and hoping it ends soon. I’m never excited, I don’t blush, my heart isn’t going crazy, nothing. Just, nothing.”
“Did I…do that?” My voice was stuck, my face heating up. My hands fumbled around as I looked at the ground. I felt his eyes watching me, waiting for my answer. “Sakura?”
“Well…uhm…I…unh…uhm…yes…”
“So, after dating me, no other guy was for you.” I glanced at his face, a smirk in place. I grew more embarrassed as I stared at the grass.
“Shut up…you still hurt me.”
I felt him droop, his expression different. I looked to see sadness in his eyes.
“I’m sorry…”
“Did you know how much I cried? I was torn inside at everything you said. Sure, I cussed at you when I was angry, but I cuss all the time. But you, you never cussed. Then saying you loved HER all along? I wanted to just kill myself.”
“I…I’m sorry. I was…I was just so upset. I thought we’d always be together…but when you said you liked Sasuke…I lost it. I asked Hinata to say things to make you jealous…instead you with that Sai guy…I was empty inside…I missed you so much. I wanted you to come back; I didn’t want to let you go…I’m nothing without you. I…I love you so much…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…”
I couldn’t stop the tears running down my face, pulling him into my embrace as I held him tightly.
“It’s okay…it’s okay, I forgive you.”
“But I love you so much…I’d do anything for you…I’d even die for you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“B-But it’s true.”
“Don’t…I don’t want you to die…I don’t want to be alone…and stop apologizing…I don’t deserve it…” He shifted our bodies so it would be him holding me, his head upon mine.
“It’s true though…I would do anything for you…I love you so much…” We just sat there in each other’s embrace, our tears drying as we listened to each other breathe. I wanted to apologize so badly, but I couldn’t find the right words. In the end, I was able to make him smile.
“I’ll never leave you again. You’re the one I love for life, and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
-----------
Some of my family doubts him, but at least my older cousin Suchina supports us. Hinata is very ecstatic and hopes we’ll be future in-laws. Sure, there are still some bumps in the road ahead of us. But I know Neji’s right beside me to hold my hand for the entire journey. I know this relationship will turn into something more and deeper. Why? Because I truly, with all my heart, body and soul, love Neji Hyuuga, and no one else. And no one can change that fact. Ever.
--
A/N: Yeah, that’s KINDA how it happened, but not exactly. I’m sorry Sai/Sakura fans! But don’t worry, I’ll put up a new one-shot dedicated to that pairing for you guys later on! Well, I hope you liked it Johnny! I wuv you forever! Muah!
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