Chapter 1 - 51 Things to Do At the Mall

51 things to do at the mall

#1: go to the sports store and play basketball with your arms as hoops. See how many you can get to play.

#2: Get on the intercom after telling the lady that you are going to page your mother, then say a strange name like "would Mrs. Ima Mann please report to the paging desk?"

#3: Play a large game of "truth or dare" in the food court. Make up unrealistic dares that no one would EVER do.

#4: Spray some of the perfume in JC penny on the clothes, then hold them up to passing people, saying loudly, “NEW SCENTED CLOTHES! TRY AND BUY! THE CLOTHES OF THE FUTURE!" Make sure they are ugly clothes.

#5: See who can stack the most hats on their head @ the baseball cap store.
#6:Draw mustaches and unibrows on manicans, then as people pass, say to them, “See? These manicans know how to work the facial hair!"

#7: In EBGames, ask for the game Baby Animals Teach You the ABC's. If they don’t have it...start singing the alphabet wrong.

#8: Turn the vacuum cleaners in sears around you in a circle, and then scream for everyone to hear,"AHHHH! THE VACCUMS ARE CLOSING IN ON ME!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

#9: Try to fit inside a washing machine. Tell people you don’t have a tub, so you come here everyday and act like a pair of jeans.

#10: Ride a bike from KB toys through the store with a singing hamster in the basket. Preferably one that sings "crazy"
Make strange noises are you ride around.

11:At the clock store, turn all of the alarms on "high and set the time for a minute after you set it.

12: (this works well if you are tall) sit in the baby section of the book store, open a pop up book,then say to random people as they walk by "my mommy lets me come to the special book place because I’m special and I get to come here alone!"

13: Make a house of greeting cards at Hallmark.

#14: Sit on the floor at the toy store, surrounded by jumping puppies, and then say to people, “I think the kitties like me!"

15: Find a very large and advanced book at Waldenbooks. Sit down and pretend to read it. UPSIDE DOWN. Repeat over and over, "E=MC2".

#16: At the comic book store, go up to the person at the counter and say to them after showing them a very bloody scene in a comic book," why is that mans stomach crying?!"

17: At Christmas time, make a large snowball fight with the cotton ball snow.

#18: At the clock booth, turn all the clocks to times close to each other when the person is not looking. Like first clock: 1:00 second clock 1:01 so that when the person is trying to change one back, another will go off.

19: put rows of stuffed animal face down and front of you, and shout, "yes...YES!!! BOW TO ME MY MINIONS OF DOOM!!!!

20: Do a little dance in the glass elevator for alllllllllllll to see.......

21: in the changing rooms, go into a stall, and after a minute, say, "Ooooo…these pants cover my demon tail quite nicely....”

22: When guys walk by the girls bathroom, say to your friend," wow those bathrooms sure are comfortable! Carpeting, silk toilet paper, couches, cushioned toilet seats, full-scale mirrors. The works!"
23: Go to Lenscrafters and try on all the glasses frames. Say they're for your 4000 eyes.

24: One word. Schizophrenic. Walk around the mall mumbling to yourself about strange things such as how to apply a contact lens and what time the train leaves the station in New York.

25: Take random polls that make no sense (i.e. Does "Lamborghini" sound like an Italian cheese to you?").

26: Stand in a store window with the other manicans and strike a strange pose. (Example) hmm...my butt is quite itchy...

27: Stick chopsticks up your mouth like in manga. Tell people its a ritual for you're ancient religion. Say it brings death to those who hate you.

28: Pick a place on the floor. When people step on that place, jump out from a hidden place and scream, “YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE DIRT!!!!" and fall to the floor, scraping your nails over the floor and looking up at them angrily whispering, “disturbed the dirt..." over and over (preferably in an Italian accent 9.9).

29: Pretend to eat paste. Say it helps your digestion. Offer some to others.

30: Take a fishing pole and start fishing for change from the fountains. Tell people that they must be very very quiet. You are hunting change.

31: Pretend to catch a big dollar, like in Spongebob. Shout, "AHHH! ITS PULLING ME IN!!! HELP! HELP!"

32: Take a little nap in the beds at Hecht’s

33: Take 4 shoeboxes and mix them up so each box has 2 different shoes. Run if someone comes over. (Especially try to mix shoes that look the same, but are different)

34: walk around with a police badge (cut one off a cereal box or buy a plastic one!)Flash it at people and say, "____ state police. Please lower your pants and walk around a bit so I can inspect you."
35: Walk up to random people and tell them you're the reincarnation of a historical figure. Give that person your autograph.

36: Walk up to someone with an open note book that you are scribbling on and a hat with a reporters badge (make one!) and say, “Excuse me I am from the omelet du fromage post. Please tell me your favorite kind of cheese."

37: At the Discovery Channel Store, make the RC Croc attack people. Tell them, "Look! It likes you!!!" Make it try and "bite" the person.

38: Make a tape of George Bush and slip it into the small television in the Discovery Channel Store. Tell people that this is the stupidus presidentus and that he lives in packs, but is often kicked out or killed for lack of good judgment.

39: Say that you're about to take a new art class. Ask to draw on people’s faces. Tell them it's for a good cause: education.

40: Dance around the mall in a black leotard, making strange movements and telling people you are practicing for your interpretive dance finals as you throw feathers into the air around them.

41: Ask others to join in the interpretive dance.

42: Run around the mall in a cap and mask humming your own theme song.

43: Go down the "up" escalator. Tell people it’s for science class. You're learning about gravity.

44: Pull on a large pair of underwear over your pants at JC Penny and say loudly, “I AM.....UNDERWEAR GAL!!!!!!!" then run around the store making whooshing sounds.

45: Dress up as you're favorite cartoon character. (Ex: The Fairly Oddparents) Act exactly like that character (i.e. Whack people on the head with a plastic wand yelling, "POOF! POOF!!)

46: At the CD store make all of the test listening headphones play the Spongebob theme at full volume.

47: Climb on any platforms and pose. Ask for people to take photos of you.

48: Place a ripped off Teletubbies head on the ground and bow down to it, whispering strange phrases. (Ex.) ohhh jakumba goad kalojun...

49: Pretend to sleepwalk. Moan. Wear PJ pants for a more realistic look.

50: Walk around the mall, with a designated word in your head. Whenever someone says that word, make a loud cawing sound and then hide or look away when they turn to see what made the noise. See how many times you can make the cawing sound. Try to beat your record often.

51: Run out of the mall screaming, "THEY'RE COMING!!! DOMINO'S DOTS ARE COMING! YAHHHH!!!” Repeat phrase until you get to the car.

You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment