Chapter 1 - Sleep of Doom

Sleep ofDoom
 
Yeah Iknow the title sounds stupid, which gives the impression the whole thing isstupid. Which it is. Hope you can make it through the whole story withoutscreaming bloody murder or having a heart attack. Enjoy!    ^_^
 
 
 
Outside,in the fresh before-noon air, where the birds were singing, and the sun wasshining, the wind blowing and the trees swaying, there was a stink to end allstinks. It was such a stink, oh such a terrible, terrible stink.
            Dib was the very source of thatstink, which flowed from him in a way that sent the majority of the childrenrunning to the other side of the playground. But one stayed behind to laugh . .. and laugh . . . and laugh. That one was called by the name of Zim.
            "Ah ha ha ha ha! Yoursmell! Your . . . heh . . . horrible smell! AH HA HA HA HA HA!"
            Dib was not amused. He was veryinfuriated, in a way that he did not even take the time to even try to show. Hejust sat there on the bench by the trash, staring at Zim with a look of purehatred. Zim's evil triumphant laugh sent Dib's mind into a rage. He felt hiseye twitching from just looking at the creature.
            Zim wiped a tear from his eye."Dib, I . . . heh . . . would almost feel sorry for you! . .. Ha ha ha ha ha! That is, if . . . you didn't smell like rotten,meaty . . . er . . . meat!"
            Dib clenched his fists. Oh, how Zimwould pay if he lived long enough. Because if he didn't, that would mean Dibhad already struck. Which, would mean he already got revenge, and . . . oh,forget it. Zim would pay, that was all there was to it.
            On the opposite side of theplayground, all the other kids were laughing as well, pointing and mocking andspreading the most horrible lies. One kid, Keef, cried out, "Zim dumped atrash can on Dib's head!"
            Zim had indeed, earlier, dumped anentire trashcan full of oozing garbage all over the now-smelly Dib. It waspunishment for what Dib had done; something so terrible and hideous that evenZim would never attempt it.
            Dib had stuck his tongue out at Zim.And now, here he sat, a breathing germ if there was anything of the sort. Thesmell that snuck from him was enough to make any normal human vomit all overhimself, but Zim, before executing his plot, had implanted specialsense-dimmers on himself so he would not be able to smell the Dib at all. Thus,he could stay close enough to torment him while the others laughed.
            And he was thoroughly enjoyinghimself.
            "Dib, I don't even think theArmada will want to come to Earth now! One sniff and they'll be runningfor their lives!" Zim threw himself into a harder version of his laughingfit.
            Dib still stared. Yes, Zim wouldpay. And the day would come. The day would come all too soon as they knew it .. .
 
            Gaz was playing video games in thekitchen, waiting for Dib to get home for no reason more than so she could yellat him for drinking the cola that she had claimed to be her's just thatmorning. She had taken much less time to walk home from school than him, andhad gone a different way before getting a whiff. Now she was prepared to screamat him. But she never got the chance to begin her thought-out statement.
            "Eew! What is that smell?"
            Dib opened the door, and the stenchseemed to flood the house unlike anything had ever flooded any place before. Ina slow, suspenseful moment, Gaz stared at her older brother with a sickenedexpression, wondering what had happened. Dib stared back.
            "Not . . . a . . . word,"he mumbled, and walked to his room sorrowfully. His incredible stoic act awedGaz; for she had never seen him behave this way before. Obviously something hadgone down between him and Zim, the kid he always claimed to be an alien. Ofcourse, Gaz knew the truth. She knew it all too well. But she didn't care. Zimmeant nothing to her, alien or otherwise.
            Dib's expression hadn't changedsince the playground. He still showed his extreme hatred for Zim. He sat downat his computer and opened some of his spy files to see if there was anythinghe had missed. He constantly tried to catch Zim in the act of being alien onfilm, but almost never succeeded. When he did, one way or another, the evidencewas destroyed. It had more than started to bug him.
            Whether it was just an unluckystreak or supernatural forces that kept him from exposing Zim for the evilalien he is, he never lost his intense determination. In most cases, he trailedhis enemy home every day, hoping to implant new pieces of spying equipment orat least discover new evidence of weaknesses.
            He sighed heavily, opening some surveillanceproject he had just started. It involved hacking into his security systems andbeing able to watch, live, whatever Zim was doing by the viewpoint of a certaincamera. This brought back memories of the time he had tried this once before.He didn't want to think about that.
 
            Stepping through the front door ofhis base disguised as a house, Zim was very pleased with himself. He hadbrought on a new way to enrage Dib, one that worked one hundred and ten percentbetter than most of his ridiculously stupid plans. He was still giggling.
            Gir was watching TV as pre-usual."You're laughing!" he exclaimed to his owner, glancing away from themindless program.
            An evil smile was spread acrossZim's face. "Yes, yes I am," he said casually. Then, in his invadingvoice, he boomed, "The Dib human thought he could irritate me and distractme from the mission by exposing his disgustingly pink tongue! And I hadmy VENGENCE! Oh, so sweet vengeance!"
            Gir squealed, "You gave him amonkey making biscuits!"
            Zim scowled at Gir's idiotic joy."No, Gir. And I thought I told you never to mention biscuitsagain."
            A robotic hand pointed to thekitchen with a smile on its owner's face. "Waffles!" screamed Girwith unnecessary loudness.
            There was silence for a moment asZim took the time to glare evilly at his stupid android servant. Sometimes iteven scared him to try to understand what went on in Gir's mind. Gir's limitedknowledge consisted of mostly monkeys, waffles, biscuits, and anything elsethat had to do with stupidity and tacos.
            Ignoring the relentless dumbnessbeaming from Gir's head, Zim walked into the kitchen to go down to his main laband work on new plans to destroy the human race. All of his old ones had failedhorribly.
            His fingers tapped away at hisalmost completely holographic keyboard, displaying images and data on thescreen in front of him. He was currently reading a bit about the humans' sleepprocess. It involved fascinating facts such as that their bodies had the needto halfway shut down for repair each day for about eight hours. The mere ideasent a shiver down his spine.
            "Oh, these humans," hesaid with mild rage. "They spend one third of their lives sleeping! Whatkind of race wastes such valuable time on dreams?!" Then something hit himlike a brick. He could almost feel his brain working on his next brilliantplan.
            "Wait a minute . . . To knowyour enemy, you must study your enemy, and at times . . . copy .. . your enemy." He smiled. "That's it! To better understand how todefeat the pitiful humans, I must take the time to behave likethem." Over the microphone, he yelled, "Gir! Come here! I haveanother idea for Earth's downfall!"
            Gir slid down the trashcan / labentrance and said, "Yay! I like downfalls!"
            Zim sighed. And even though Girwasn't listening in the slightest, Zim explained his new plan.
            These humans, they had certainweaknesses that he was picking out. One of which intensely interested him,which was that humans seemed to suffer from extreme emotional overload. Thisnew strand of information would be useful to him in the future if any of his'brilliant' plans flawed. Though the Dib creature appeared a match for someIrken soldiers, he was still, as Earthlings put it, only human. This meant thathe also experienced emotional problems.
            As he had seen on television, thehumans 'felt' for each other. If one of them were injured or harmed, or evensaddened by something or another, the ones who loved him would sink to theirknees and weep. Understanding long ago that crying was a sign of extremeweakness, Zim felt he could use this to his advantage. Even between humans whohated each other, they would still break down into tears if their enemy washarmed once he 'understood his wrong ways'.
            If anything in his next plot wentwrong because of the Dib human, he could simply put on an act to end all acts.He had it all planned out. He would pause once Dib said something terriblyhurtful (that is, after pushing him to say it), and slowly show an expressionof being emotionally scarred. He would send brain wave patterns to his ID Pak,telling it to force tears from his eyes. As he would slowly sink to his knees,he would look as if he were on the verge of crying. Then, after a few sniffles,he would cry as well as he knew. He would tell Dib how sorry he was, and how hedidn't mean to do such harm. He would say he knew it must sound stupid, but hefinally understood that Dib was right. It was wrong to destroy the human race.
            Dib, his feelings wrapped tightaround his heart, would after some time start to feel sorry for Zim. He wouldmaybe even cry as well. And just when he would think that he could actuallytrust his former greatest enemy, Zim would turn on him and capture him,throwing him into an unbreakable lazer-guarded cage. True, if Dib escaped hewould no longer fall for the trick -perhaps, perhaps not- but would be moreenraged than ever before. He would completely dedicate his life to destroyingZim, more than he had now.
            But Zim would figure out what to dothen when the time came. He was only lucky that Irkens didn't revert to permanentkeeping such horrible emotions. If they had, they wouldn't be where they weretoday: at the top of the universe, about to conquer the remaining free planets.The proud Irken Elite Soldiers, the Invaders, were each on their own missionsto make a planet ripe for the Irkens to use. Zim had been assigned Earth at thelast minute, and was now bound to destroy all life inhabiting it.
            Irkens had always been known fortheir awesome ability to destroy planet after planet without the slightestemotional disturbance. This was because they had gotten rid of it. They hadcompletely destroyed their main emotions when they decided to go with a newsystem, called 'The Jinkferian System', a way of living that consisted of annihilatingall reproductive processes and traces of emotions. Irkens were no longer bornafter the council voted for the Jinkferian System. They were grown.
            No actual live born Irken had beensince the year of twelve thousand nine hundred thirty-seven. But the wholething is an entirely different story than what Zim had been thinking aboutanyway.
            "Gir, using my incredibleresearch skills and knowledge, I have found that all humans spend a third oftheir lives sleeping. I have decided to try this so-called 'sleep' just to seewhat I'm up against. Tonight after I go to . . . bed . . . I want you tomonitor my energy levels and make sure they are balanced. If they aren't, thereare endless possibilities to what kind of nightmares I could endure."
            Gir saluted, saying, "Yes, mymaster!"
            Zim raised an eyebrow. "Andyou're sure you can handle this?"
            His eyes flashing to their combat-modered color, Gir said, "Yes!"
            Nodding his head, Zim responded,"I'm impressed. We'll just see how you do tonight. Now . . ."Turning his attention to another matter, he continued, "I must go insertsome new programming into my Pak to tell it how to handle the 'sleep' mode. Youtry not to blow up anything important."
            Bright glowing red eyes watched asZim left this section of his base to go work on his new program. Then theyflashed back to green, noticing a garbage can.
            Gir squealed with joy and ran overto the trash, pulling out a discarded soda can and smashing it against his headmultiple times while giggling insanely.
 
            Back at his own 'base', Dibhad managed to hack into some of Zim's superior cameras. Each of them wasopened on a different file screen at once, all of them showing absolutely noaction. But nevertheless, he was still receiving live feedback from his enemy'shouse, which was better than he had been doing lately.
            "I'll show you, Zim," hesaid to himself darkly, in the perfect mood for revenge. "I'm recordingthese transmissions -all of them- as evidence showing what an evilcreature you really are. And once I have enough proof, I'll call the EyeballNet, or maybe the FBI, or maybe even the whole world, to expose youwithout any disguises. Let's see you try to talk your way out of thisone!" Dib laughed an evil laugh of his own.
            His sister's voice was from anotherroom of the house and muffled, but he could make out her screaming the words,"Be quiet! Your voice is giving me a headache!"
            Dib took in a deep breath, ignoringhis sibling's comment, and continued to hack into Zim's systems. File afterfile popped up, until the entire computer screen seemed flooded with video feedfrom the alien's secret underground base.
 
            That night, at the end of acul-de-sac where a mysterious green and purple house stood, Zim was standing inthe walkway staring up at the stars for reasons only he knew, his geniusdisguise covering his bright red eyes and antennae. He showed no emotion.
            He sighed slowly and sat down,feeling slightly drained. He had finished the sleep program hours ago and setit to the time limit of seven hours, from midnight until thirty minutes beforeschool started. For some reason, he didn't feel like working on world conquest.It was already eleven fifty.
            "So this is what the humans experienceright before they shut down," he said aloud to himself. "It'speaceful. I've never really felt this way before." Scowling, he added,"I hate it!"
            Glancing at his watch, he noticed itwas very close to the begin time he had set. He stood up and ran inside.
            "Gir!"
            The little robot arrived before himin a flash, holding a weenie in his hand. He saluted. "Yes, mymaster!"
            Zim crossed his arms. "It'sgetting late. I suppose it's time for me to . . . 'sleep'." He had saidthat last word with a tone that expressed tension, almost fear. He shuttered."Turn on the energy monitors and wait until they all drop to forty-two.Then make sure they stay that way until seven thirty."
            "Yay! I'm gonna eat weenies!"
            Zim clenched his fists with thelittle strength he had left. "This is serious, Gir! This is veryserious! With me asleep, anything could go wrong! Make sure it doesn't!"
            Gir nodded cutely, squeaking hisunderstanding.
            "Good." Zim yawned, andrubbed his eyes. "I'm . . . I'm going to bed," he said slightlywobbly. He closed his eyes and immediately fell over backwards, the sleepprogram having kicked in.
            Gir clapped, giggling. "I don'tknow what to do!" he exclaimed with amazing enthusiasm. He ran off to thelab underground and stared at the energy levels. They were all at forty-two.
 
            A bead of sweat ran down Dib's face,his expression very tense. "Got to . . . find Zim . . ." he said, hiseyes bloodshot as he typed away at his computer. More and more camera viewsappeared on screen, but none of them gave away where Zim was.
            "Have to . . . find . .. ah HAH!" His last typed codes revealed a camera showing Zim was on thefloor of his living room, his disguise on. He was curled up on his side, hishands together under his head for support. He subconsciously rolled over to hisother side and brought his feet closer to him.
            Dib had on the most confused look."Zim's . . . sleeping? But I thought . . . and he . . ."Suddenly he realized what it meant. Zim's guard was down, and he was onehundred percent defenseless. This was perfect! Just perfect!
            "Oh man! He's sleeping!This is perfect! It's absolutely perfect! I mean, what bettertiming?"
            Grabbing some of his things and afew experimental supplies, Dib ran downstairs and was about to go out the frontdoor, when his Dad stopped him.
            "Where are you going, son? It'spast midnight!"
            Dib stopped in his tracks and turnedmomentarily, answering, "I'm gonna go get revenge on an alien that dumpeda garbage can on my head by injecting him with-"
            "Fine. Just be home beforeschool starts."
            Dib smiled and raced out the door.He made his way to the alien's main base, using his infrared goggles as guidance.This was the greatest moment ever in history; the day Zim slept. Well,actually, the night Zim slept. Dib would have no trouble ruining Zim'slife now. The war for the worthless dirtball Planet Earth would be over in amatter of minutes.
 
            A bit of slimy green drool drizzledout of the side of Zim's mouth, then he turned over and popped his thumb intoit, starting sucking on it like a smeet. He wasn't completely sure of what hewas dreaming of at the moment. Consciously, he logged in his mind, "These'dreams' are very hard to comprehend, even for me, the mighty Zim! But at thesame time, they are almost . . . enjoyable."
            Dib made his way around the lawngnomes and past main security with no problems, having done it many times inthe past. He silently crept up on the door and creaked it open, entering thestrange alien environment with Zim lying right in front of him.
            Kneeling down and opening a casefull of science equipment, Dib whispered, "This is almost sad. Zim'scompletely helpless. But if I don't act now, I may never get anotherchance."
            He took out a glass test tube and alarge needle, looking them both over carefully. He used the needle to suck theglowing liquid out of the test tube, then set it aside. Reaching into the caseonce more, he replaced his infrared goggles with a pair of x-ray sensitive onessimilar to his 'Organ ID Goggles' from the time Zim had decided to steal humanorgans to appear normal (long story).
            "Now . . . so he doesn't feelanything . . ." Dib took out a small disinfectant can and sprayed Zim allover. Zim coughed, making Dib jump a little. But he didn't wake up, thankfully.
            Dib turned the knob on his goggles,making it so he could see through the alien's exterior and into his putridinsides. He could make out some parts, but most were hard to understand.The heart was the most recognizable, but unfortunately wasn't Dib's target. Hewas looking for something that would cause Zim a pain unlike any pain everknown.
            He turned the knob on his gogglesonce more, making it so he could read all the substances in his vision and whatthey were made of. He pinpointed a few different places until he found thegoggles blinking the words he had been hoping for.
            "Yes. Yes! It's over, Zim! It'sall over!" Dib held the needle high in the air, seemingly victorious.Smiling almost as evilly as Zim himself, he brought it down hard. But just whenit was about to puncture Zim right through his skin, someone yelled.
            "Hey! Dib! Whatcha doin'?"
            Dib practically jumped out of hisstealth suit! He gasped, and looked around him, finding himself face-to-facewith Zim's stupid SIR unit, Gir! Gir was staring mindlessly into Dib's eyes.
            A no longer terrified Dib let out amoan of relief, thankful that it wasn't something like a ninja robot or otherevil space aliens. He felt his heart racing at the speed of light. Dropping theneedle, he felled his upper half to the floor, supporting himself with hispalms. He took in a few deep breaths, calming himself down.
            "I scared you!" exclaimedGir loudly. "Scared you! Scared you! You were scared! You want anydonuts?"
            Dib regained his posture and stoodup, saying to the little minis, "Listen, I don't have time for this! Andbe quiet, will you? You're going to wake him up!" Dib motioned towards apeacefully sleeping Zim, who had put his thumb back into his mouth.
            Gir stared at his helpless master,creating something that was very hard to create for him: silence. Then he brokeit, crying out, "No I'm not!"
            As Gir yelled on, Dib trieddesperately to motion to stop before the idiot ruined the whole plan.
            "He can't wake up!"continued Gir just as loudly. "He said his little backpack made it likethat! . . . Anyway, have you seen the Scary Monkey Show? I want a headlessclown! And some ice cream! Maybe some soda, too! Did I tell you about theheadless clown? I did. I did! I told you about the headless clown!"
            After this point, Dib had paused hismotions to glance at Zim. Still asleep, as impossible as it seemed. ObviouslyZim's PAK could make it so he could sleep through anything.
            "-and then the giant moose flewaway to planet Vort, where he lived in taco land with all his little pigfriends! Yay! The end! Hey, tell me a story about a giant baby! TELL ME! TELLME! TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL-"
            Ignoring the terribly irritatingwords streaming from Gir's mouth, Dib kneeled down once more and adjusted hisgoggles. He picked up the needle and once more was about to stick it into Zim.
            Gir suddenly screamed, a scream thatwould have carried on forever it seemed if Dib hadn't stopped him.
            "Hey!" cried Dib to thelittle robot.
            Gir shut up and looked down at Dib.
            "Go away."
            Making a series of worthless noisesas approval, Gir ran away and went back down into the lab.
            Dib shook his head. "That thingis so annoying! How can Zim live with it?" Looking back to his seriouswork, he lifted the needle and hovered it right above Zim's middle area, usingthe goggles to show where to puncture.
            The needle was brought down veryhard, striking Zim's skin and making a sucky noise. Dib maneuvered it aroundplaces of the organs that he wasn’t interested in, taking care not to harmanything else besides his target.
            Slowly, he injected Zim with thebright glowing liquid, which spread around inside the organ like bacteria. Zimshivered and moaned, his body already reacting.
            Dib yanked the needle outimmediately after the junk was inside of his enemy. He put his things away andgot up. As he was on his way out the door, he said evilly, "Sleeppeacefully now, Zim. It'll be the only peaceful sleep you'll ever know afterthis." And laughing, he ran out, slamming the door behind him.
            The oblivious Zim tossed and turnednow, no longer even dreaming of anything. He wasn't awake, though. His PAKassured that. But he was very uncomfortable for the moment, his body fightingto keep everything in order down in his squeedlyspooch while his mind fought tokeep everything in order with his subconscious.
 
            The next day, Zim awoke to ahorrible feeling, something that he had never known possible. Opening his eyesslowly, he realized he was still in his base, on the floor. He stood up,feeling almost normal, but then it hit him. Like a tidal wave, the intense achein his belly spread, forcing him to collapse to the floor with his hands squeezedtight around his middle, screaming.
            "What happened?" he cried,the pain becoming overwhelming. "I, I-I-aaaaaaaahhhh! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!The paaaiiinnn!!! It huuurrrts!!! Aaaaaaaahhhhh!!!" He continuedscreaming, becoming increasingly louder as the seconds dragged on. After onlyone complete minute, his terrible screams of pain turned into full-out crying,something that Irkens were known to never do.
            It took a little while, about thirtyminutes, but Zim was finally able to stand again, and with this small amount ofenergy he ran as fast as he could to the school, knowing class had alreadystarted and the Dib human would have the technology to help him.
 
            Dib was sitting in class feelingpretty good about himself. He had on a sly expression as he whistled, waitingfor Zim's arrival to he could rub it in his face. This was going to be so sweetfor revenge!
            "Hey, where's Zim?" askedKeef, still liking Zim as a friend. "Is he sick?"
            Dib snickered. "Oh, he'll behere, sick or not. And once he gets here, I'll finally have the proof I need toshow all of you that he is an alien!"
            "You're crazy," saidMelvin.
            "Yeah, Dib," added Sarah.
            A twitch affected Dib's left eye."Oh, you'll see! You'll all see! You'll believe me once he getshere! You will!"
            Ms. Bitters, the evil teacher whotaught the class day after terrible day, yelled in her raspy voice, "Bequiet, all of you! No more crazy talking about Zim being an alien! Now, today'slesson is about something horrible. Get out a piece of paper and take yourhorrible notes on the horrible lesson about black holes. Which arehorrible!"
            Everybody moaned, taking out a pieceof paper and a pencil.
            "To start, black holes arehorrible!" said Ms. Bitters. "They're actually stars that have burnedout, like your brains did a long time ago. I saw a black hole once. Itwas-"
            Suddenly, the door burst open,revealing Zim, one hand around his middle, the other used to open the door. Hehad tears in his eyes as he slowly walked in.
            Ms. Bitters growled, "Zim!You're late! What's your excuse?"
            Zim coughed, which sent another waveof terrible pain through him. "Aaaaaaahhhhh!!! The pain! Thepaaaiiinnn!"
            Dib smiled even bigger. "What'swrong, Zim? Can't handle a little upset stomach?"
            Zim scowled at him, realizingsomething. "Dib! You! It was you! You did this! YOU DIDTHIS! YOU DID THIS!"
            "Yes, yes I did."
            Zim screamed, and lunged out at theenemy, knocking Dib out of his desk and onto the floor, where Zim landed on topof him. Trying his hardest to ignore the hurt inside of him, he clasped both ofhis hands tightly around Dib's neck and squeezed as hard as he could.
            Dib desperately clawed at Zim'sstrong grip, suddenly not so smug anymore. "You . . . stop . . . can't . .. breath . . ." Dib said as well as he could. Zim was choking him todeath!
            Zim laughed. "Now yousee what it is like, pitiful human! Understand what you have done to me!I want you to suffer! Feel the pain! FEEL THE PAIN!!"
            A cough escaped Dib's throat, and hemanaged to kick Zim from underneath, throwing him off screaming in pain. Asfast as he could, knowing Zim wouldn't give up, he ran out the door and starteddown the hall.
            Zim gritted his teeth and bit histongue, tears streaming down his face from the unbelievable pain he endured. Heran after Dib, both of his hands still around himself.
 
            Dib ran as fast as he possiblycould, still recouping from having been almost choked to death. He ran this wayand that, turning here and there. He heard Zim's footsteps not far behind,following his own. He had to make it out of the building! He had to! Ifhe didn't, there would be such terrible consequences.
            There! There was the door that wouldallow for his escape! He was almost there! He would make it!
            Zim, seeing what was about tohappen, activated his robotic legs from his PAK and hoisted himself into theair, using them to chase after Dib even faster. If he didn't catch Dib in time,all would be lost! There would be no way of ever having the human reverse theeffects!
            "Dib! Wait! WAIT!" hecalled painfully.
            Dib, still running, turned his headand yelled, "No! I'm not letting you kill me!"
            Zim's eyes flashed, realizing whatto do next. It was obvious! And it came to him very fast. "Dib, please! Iwon't hurt you! I need you to reverse the effects of whatever you did to me! DOIT NOW! Do it, or I will kill you!" Not exactly as innocent as he hadhoped it would sound, but it surely was a good start.
            Time seemed to pause for a moment asDib comprehended this. Zim, however revenge-crazy he was at the moment, was trulyin undeniable pain. Dib had actually harmed his enemy. And it awed him to knowthis. But hearing Zim's desperate tone sent a pulse of pity through the deepestparts of his mind.
            "He . . . he really feelsit," Dib thought half aloud and half in his mind. "That really hurthim . . ."
            One of Zim's robotic legs trippedover a jagged tile on the floor, sending him crashing face down. The legspulled themselves back into his PAK and he instinctively rolled onto his side,his real legs drawn close to him while he was screaming louder than ever. Hiseyes were pressed tightly shut, tears finding their way out somehow.
            Dib had made it to the door, andslammed it open. He was just about to run out of the building to freedom and safety,but turned and saw his enemy completely helpless, lying on the cold floor.
            "I . . . I have to get away, but. . ." stammered Dib, his mind gears grinding with the pressure ofdecision. "But if I just leave him there . . . and he's so helpless . . .but . . . if I don't leave . . ." He cringed. "It's just not human!I can't just leave him here like this!"
            Zim, his screaming died down and wasnow just moaning, was still curled up on his side on the floor, crying aboutthe hideous pain that squirmed inside of him. It was as if he were actuallydieing, though it was impossible under the circumstances.
            "The pain . . . oohhhhh. . . the pain . . ." Zim mumbled, knowing it did no good but still sayingit anyway.
            Opening his eyes, he saw Dib staringdown at him, looking confused. He thought the human was still triumphant abouthaving caused him so much discomfort.
            Dib sighed. "Zim, I . . . Ican't leave you here like this."
            Zim coughed and cried a little,saying, "Just kill me! I can't continue my mission this way! I'll have tolet the Tallest down. Tell Gir he can self-destruct now."
            He didn't understand, Dib realized.He shook his head. "You don't get it. I'll give you the cure. Ijust don't feel right about winning like this for some reason. It shouldbe a fair fight. I mean, injecting you with a poison while you're sleeping? Ican't live knowing I defeated you like that!"
            Still not understanding, Zim said,"So you're going to kill me later?"
            "No! Well, actually, yes. Butnot while you're like this." Dib held out his hand to Zim."Come on! I'll take you to my lab, so I can get you fixed."
            Zim was still unsure, but reachedout his hand anyway, allowing Dib to help him to his feet again.
            "You . . . you're helpingme?" asked Zim weakly.
            "Yes," said Dib. "Butwe have to hurry! If we don't, someone'll catch us!"
            Too late. A hall monitor, walking upand down the hallways, happened to spot the two. He started running towardsthem. "Hey, you!" he growled. "Where's your hall passes?!"
            Dib started to get nervous, morethan he already had been. "Come on!" he cried to Zim, tugging on hisarm. "Trust me! Just this once!"
            Zim's PAK tried hard to take ineverything at once. The overwhelming pain in his squeedlyspooch, the Dib humanannouncing temporary peace, the hall monitor running right at them . . . it wasbecoming too much to handle!
            Forcing himself to focus on only onesubject, Zim said to Dib, "Fine! But as soon as you have reversed thedamage you have done to my Irken body, we are back to hating each other likethe Planet Jackers hate empty planets!"
            "Deal!" agreed Dib,turning and racing away while pulling Zim with him. They made it out of theschool with little harm just as the hall monitor would have caught them if theyhad stayed.
            Dib dragged a hurting Zim from theschool to his house, talking as they went.
            "-so I just wanted to apologizefor what I did. It was . . . horrible!" Dib sighed. "From now on, wedon't attack each other while one of us is helpless. Okay?"
            Zim coughed and stopped in histracks long enough to gag. The pain inside of him had suddenly changed somehow."I think . . . I'm going to be sick . . ." he stated wobbly, coveringhis mouth.
            Dib rolled his eyes. "We don'thave time for you to puke! Come on!" Grabbing his enemy'shand once more, Dib continued to run to his house. Things went smoothly fromthere, mostly. Zim didn't stop to complain about anything.
 
            Professor Membrane was in thekitchen, working on electrocuting something over and over. The thing, whateverit was, kept crying out like a tiny pig. The whole experiment was interruptedwhen Dib burst in the door with Zim by his side, looking exhausted andnauseated.
            "Dib? What are you doing homeso soon, son?"
            "No time to talk, Dad,"said Dib, feeling rushed as he ran upstairs to his room. "I've got toreverse the bad deed I committed by injecting Zim with-"
            "Yes, fine. As long as thisdoesn't have anything to do with your usual crazy nonsense talk about aliensand ghosts."
            Nodding, Dib raced through his doorand slammed it behind him, Zim next to him, still holding his hand.
            Dib sighed and walked over toanother part of his room. He sat Zim down in a chair and handed him a tube thatprotruded from a clear glass container. At the end of the rube was a half-bowlstretched part of it, its reasons unknown for the moment.
            Zim desperately tried hold back hisstomach contents from flying out of his mouth. "I really . . . am going .. . to be sick . . . whmm!" He quickly covered his mouth again.
            Dib was almost ready for things."I'm surprised my mixture had such a powerful effect on you. It seems likeIrken immune systems haven't built up a tolerance to pretty much anything, ormaybe it's just you." He noticed Zim's expression. "Anyway, you cango ahead and vomit now. What do you think that thing's for?" Dibpointed to the tube he had handed Zim.
            Zim moaned. "Dib human, themoment -whmm! . . . after you cure me, I will be sure to -whmm! .. . kill you very slowly and painfully. Whmm!" Zim held the end ofthe tube close to his mouth with both hands and threw up into it.
            "Sure. Fine. Just - hey!"After turning around, Dib noticed the container had sucked the Irken liquidsup, and they were glowing purple. It was disgusting. In fact, the details wereso horribly putrid that you wouldn't want to know the half of it. Dib allowedhis mouth to hang open, stunned and a little grossed out.
            Zim coughed. He gave Dib a deathstare. "Could I just ask . . . WHY YOU HAD ME-"
            "Because," said Dib,cutting him off. "Whatever happens here I'm gonna use for study. Even yourvomit."
            There was silence as Zim stared atDib questioningly. He was quite a bit confused.
            "You're . . . gonna use myvomit against me?" asked Zim, confirming Dib's weirdness.
            Dib shrugged. "Yeah."Then, remembering his mission, said, "Now! I've studied what effectscertain chemicals have on you, and I've come to the conclusion that an acidbased liquid mixed with sulfur oxide should do the trick."
            Becoming impatient, Zim said,"Yes, yes, now can you hurry things up?! I have evil to be working on, yaknow?"
            Dib, also becoming impatient withhis enemy, said while staring dully, "Or maybe you're alreadycured. Am I right?"
            "What?" cried Zim. Helooked around, nervous. "Uh . . . of course not! I'm still in agonizingpain!" Then, acting terribly, he wrapped his arms around his middle andmoaned. "Oh, my squeedlyspooch! The pain! The paaaiiinnn!"
            Eyes becoming big, Dib realizedsomething. It was so obvious! How had he missed it? He was beginning toquestion his own theories. "Zim! You faker!"
            Zim paid attention. "Heh?"
            Walking up to him, Dib said,"Of course you feel fine now! But you're staying here so you cancapture me and experiment on me! Well, I'm not falling for it! Get out! GETOUT! You never needed me to cure you in the first place!"
            "Uh . . . yes! Yes, filthy Dibhuman! You have found out my ingenious plan!" Zim cleared his throat."That was my plan all along, ya know. To capture you. . . . The wholething was a set up! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!"
            Dib growled. "JUST GET OUTALREADY!" he cried, pointing to the door.
            Zim shrugged. "Okay. But whathappened to me, anyway? How is it I'm cured, just like that? Tell me! Explainto Zim!"
            "Well, I injected you withwater, which I know is like acid to Irkens," Dib started. "Then Ijust let the whole thing take its course. But I missed something, and you knewit! You knew after your body rejected the tissue-ripping acid that youwould feel just fine, so you decided to play my emotions to get inside myhouse. And it worked! But you didn't know that the effects would wear off soquickly, so it messed up your plan. Well, I figured it all out. So . . .leave."
            Zim got up and started to walk outthe door, not even considering the possibilities. Then pausing and turningaround, he said happily, "Well, g'bye, Dib slime. See ya tomorrow."He walked down the stairs and out the front door. He started his way back tohis base.
            Dib had his arms crossed as hewatched from his window. "Yes, Zim. Go back to your base! And never cometo me for help again!" He sighed heavily. "I'm glad that'sover. It was just weird, having my greatest enemy sitting right before me in myown house, where I could have easily captured him and studied him to find hisweaknesses."
            Suddenly realizing something, Dibscreamed at the top of his lungs, "NNOOOOOOOOO!! Curse you, Ziiimmm!"
 
            Later, Zim was sitting on the sofain his living room, watching television with Gir. He was thinking over what hadhappened earlier.
            "Angry Monkey!" screamedGir mindlessly. "Don't leave me! DON'T LEAVE ME!!" The show had goneto commercial break. "I like moose babies!"
            Shaking his head, Zim commented,"Sometimes I feel sorry for you, Gir, for being so stupid." Then, tohimself he said, "The Dib was just weird today. He took me to his house tocure me from the terrible thing he did, where I could have easily captured himlike he said I could."
            Gir nodded. "I know," hesaid dreamily.
            Suddenly realizing something, Zimcried, "Wait a minute!" Then, yelling not unlike Dib,"NNOOOOOOOOO!! Curse you, Diiibbb!"
 
 
 
The end!Don't tell me it's stupid 'cause I already know!       ^_^     ~and yes thatis my favorite smiley face there. Look and bow down to its cuteness!!!

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