Chapter 1 - I Want To Be Held

Pairing: 1+2, 3+4
Author: NekoHellAngel
Warning: Sap, a bit of Angst
Disclaimer: GW and all characters are not mine. They belong to their rightful creators. However if I did own them I would of made Dorothy do something with her eyebrows… they were. Just. Too. Much!

I Want To Be Held

Duo sat there, glaring at the other pilot who seemed to be glued to his laptop. Heero continued to type away though, not once looking away from the screen. Duo sighed, sitting up from his seat and looked around the room. They were in the living area, Duo and Heero sat at the little table in the corner of the room while Trowa and Quatre were on the sofa. Wufei was sitting on another sofa altogether, reading the newspaper, trying to ignore the two lovebirds that were at the moment kissing.

Duo watched Quatre and Trowa for a moment, feeling himself get a little lonely. The two had only been going out for about a week, and they were still in their lovey-dovey mood. It was normal, since new couples would be touchy and really sweet and so on. And truthfully, Duo was happy for the two, since they had liked each other for a while, both just too shy to say anything. It was a wonder how the two finally got together, but it was still sweet.

However, no matter how sweet and cute they looked, Duo would always feel jealous of them, and would become more and more lonely. He wanted what they had; he wanted to be loved and to love back. He already loved someone, but he knew that he would never love him back. Yes, Duo was in love with a guy, but not just any guy. He was in love with Mr. Ice Block who was still staring at his laptop! Duo didn't have a chance with him.

Wufei finally put the newspaper down and stared at the two making out on the sofa. He growled and shook his head, standing up as he did so. He had gained the lovebird's attention by his growling, and the two finally realised that the other pilots were still in the room. Quatre blushed badly, running his fingers through his blonde locks nervously. Trowa only smiled a little and sat up right, giving Quatre his own space on the sofa. Wufei sighed.

``About time you guys realised that others are here too,'' said Wufei a little harshly.

``S-Sorry Wufei,'' said Quatre, blushing even more.

Duo had to smile a little, and silently thanked Wufei for stopping the two. The braided pilot knew if Wufei hadn't of stopped them, he would have walked off in a sulk, which he didn't want to do. Duo turned to look at Heero, and was stunned to see that the other pilot had left, without his laptop! Duo immediately knew something was wrong with Heero, since the other pilot never ever left his laptop unless something was troubling him. The braided pilot looked around the room a little, drawing attention to himself. Wufei blinked his dark eyes and wondered what Duo was looking for.

``Maxwell? What's wrong?'' asked Wufei.

``Heero. Did you see him leave just a minute ago?'' asked Duo, unable to hide his concern for the other pilot.

Wufei looked up and rubbed his chin in thought, but in the end ended up shaking his head and telling the other that he hadn't seen Heero leave. Duo whimpered a little, wondering where Heero had gone. If something was wrong with the Japanese pilot, he wanted to help him. He would do anything for that Ice Block; even give up his own life.

Quatre spoke up, saying that he had heard someone walk up the stairs just before he and Trowa stopped kissing. The green-eyed pilot also nodded, agreeing with the blonde. Duo thanked them both and rushed up the stairs and headed to the bedroom he and Heero shared. Wufei, Quatre and Trowa could only watch, and wonder what was wrong. It didn't take Wufei long to guess though, since he had known how both Heero and Duo had felt for ages. The Chinese pilot only wished that the two would somehow finally tell each other, like Quatre and Trowa had done.

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Duo quietly walked into his shared room, a little surprised to see Heero sitting by the window. It was still daytime, and the sun shone through in easily and brightened the room with it's gorgeous glow. Yet even with the sun's shine falling in, Duo could feel a tense and dark feeling as he walked in, wondering what was troubling Heero so much. As the braided pilot walked closer to Heero, the Japanese pilot seemed to tense even more. Duo was now a few inches away from Heero's back, and he dared to break the horrid silence.

``Heero…? You ok?'' asked Duo, his voice filled with concern.

``Go away baka…'' Heero's voice was more cold and harsh then normal, and actually caught the other pilot off guard.

Duo whimpered as he heard the tone of voice Heero was using. He wasn't used to the Japanese pilot being this cold, normally Heero would warm up at least a little if the two of them were alone. Duo dared himself to near Heero even more, and actually reached his hand out to touch Heero's shoulder.

``Go away baka!!'' Heero hissed and turned around sharply, glaring angrily at Duo.

Duo backed off and whimpered loudly as the other pilot yelled at him. Heero had never been this cold to him before, the other pilot had never actually yelled at him before. But now, for some reason, Heero was just being so cold and cruel, and it was hurting Duo so much. Even though Duo knew that Heero would never be his boyfriend, he didn't want to lose him as a best friend either. Duo found himself sniffling, tears threatening to spill. The braided pilot tried his best to stop himself from crying, but the tears fell down his cheeks in front of the Japanese pilot.

Duo watched as Heero's expression quickly changed. Before when he had yelled his expression had been an angry one. But now… only worry, hurt and sorrow was on his face. Heero quickly got up, and actually embraced his best friend as the tears continued to fall down Duo's face. The braided pilot was surprised, but didn't pull away from the warmth of Heero's body. Instead he wrapped his shaky arms around the other pilot's body, pulling him even closer. Now that he was holding him, Duo didn't want Heero to ever let go.

``I'm sorry,'' whispered Heero.

Duo was a little surprised by what Heero had said, and wondered what he was apologizing for. He looked up at the Japanese pilot's face, and was even more surprised to see that he was also crying. Duo was puzzled as to why Heero was crying, and again his concern for Heero made he forget about how hurt he had been by Heero's yelling.

``Heero…? Why are you crying?'' asked Duo, his voice a little shaky and weak because of his own crying.

Heero sniffled and whimpered, not speaking since he knew he'd only cry harder if he tried to speak. Duo would not let his question go unanswered though, and so he gently placed his hands on Heero's cheeks and made the other pilot look at him. Heero continued to cry, and stared long and hard at Duo before finally answering.

``For being a baka… Gomen… I'm just… just feeling… bad now,'' again Heero apologized, not knowing if Duo knew he had since he had said sorry in Japanese.

Duo sniffed and blinked when Heero told him that he felt bad, not totally understanding when the other pilot said `gomen' but guessed that he had said sorry again. Duo wondered what Heero was feeling bad about, and asked him this, his hands still on Heero's cheeks. The tears from the Japanese pilot's eyes fell down and ran down Duo's fingers, but the braided pilot didn't care.

``Quatre and Trowa… I'm… I'm jealous of them,'' said Heero finally.

Duo was startled by Heero's words and couldn't believe what he was hearing. They were both jealous of what the other two had; they were both jealous of the new couple. The braided pilot stared long and hard into the other pilot's eyes, those icy blue eyes he loved oh so much. They seemed to shine with emotion, Heero's protective shell around his heart broken and all his defences were down and his emotions showed easily now.

``Heero…''

``I know it sounds stupid… but I'm jealous of them. They love each other, and now have someone to hold and to care about… I have no one, I never will,'' said Heero, tears continuing to spill down his face.

Duo couldn't believe what he was hearing, and felt like yelling at the Japanese pilot. Of course he was loved! Duo had loved him for so long now that it hurt! But it hurt so much more in knowing that Heero felt so lonely and unloved right now. Duo had no idea that Heero felt this way. If he had known, he would of done something, anything!

Heero continued to cry and sniffle, the sound causing more pain to Duo then any wound had done. He didn't want Heero to feel like this, he didn't want Heero to feel so miserable. Duo thought about telling Heero about how he felt towards him, but wondered if that would really help. Heero had never really shown any hints of affection towards the braided pilot, other then their rare moments alone when they would actually sit and talk, and Duo would sometimes gain a smile or two. But was there really anything more? Was Heero trying to warm up to Duo because he wanted him too? Or was Heero just trying to be a friend?

The braided pilot stared into Heero's eyes, and again saw the sorrow in them. Hell, it was worth the risk. Duo couldn't stand there and just watch the tears fall down Heero's face forever. If Heero wanted to be loved and to be held, then Duo would show him that he was loved and that he could be held. But only if he wanted him to.

``Heero… you are loved, very much,'' said Duo softly, now calmed down enough to stop his own tears.

``Yeah, right,'' said Heero, not believing in the other pilot.

Duo growled a little, angry that Heero hadn't believed him. Duo placed his hands on Heero's shoulders and gripped them tightly, yet not tight enough to hurt. It caught Heero of guard, and the Japanese pilot was a little startled by Duo's action. The braided pilot was determined to let the other pilot know he was loved.

``Listen Heero! You are loved! You can't even begin to imagine just how much you really are loved!''

Heero was silent for a moment, starting deep into Duo's violet eyes. The braided pilot stayed quiet also, waiting for the other to say something. The room was filled with tension as they both stayed silent, neither of them wanted to talk before the other. Heero finally gained the courage to speak again and asked Duo something he had hoped would never be asked.

``Who loves me then?'' asked Heero.

It was Duo's turn to be the silent one, and for Heero to wait for his answer. Duo didn't know if he should tell him, but guessed that there was no point in lying now. He would tell Heero how much he loved him, and would just have to see how the Japanese boy reacted. Whether it was good or bad.

``… I love you,'' admitted Duo.

The only way to describe Heero's expression is to say that it was just one of shock. Heero was stunned, gob smacked, speechless. Duo was worried about what Heero would say after hearing him say that, but still didn't stop there. He couldn't stop, even if he wanted to. The braided pilot leaned closer and gently placed his lips over Heero's, kissing him ever so softly.

Duo was a little relieved when Heero didn't pull away from the kiss, yet it troubled him since he didn't kiss back either. Duo slowly pulled away, ending the gentle kiss and stared into Heero's eyes. They were emotionless again, Heero looking like his normal, cold self. Duo whimpered and thought he had totally blown it now. Heero didn't want him; Heero didn't want to be loved by him. Duo was about to say sorry, but was stopped in his tracks as he felt Heero gently trail his fingertips down his cheeks.

``… Why didn't you tell me sooner?'' asked Heero.

Duo was a little scared, wondering what Heero was thinking and feeling. Heero was back to his old self really, the emotionless look, the blank expression, Duo wasn't able to find any hint of Heero returning the feelings, or of him rejecting him. Duo would just have to be truthful, and hope that the other pilot didn't kill him.

``… I didn't tell you sooner because I was scared. I was scared of rejection,'' Duo admitted to him, not looking at him.

Heero stared at him and then gently held the other pilot's chin. He gently and slowly forced the braided pilot to look back at him, and then he surprised Duo by kissing his cheek ever so gently, his lips just barely caressing his skin. The light touch was enough to make Duo blush though, and to make him realise that Heero hadn't rejected him. In fact, he had done the opposite.

``I could never reject you Duo… since you're the person I wanted to be loved by the most,'' said Heero, and then brought Duo into a tight embrace.

Duo was totally stunned; he just couldn't believe that this was happening. Heero Yuy… Mr. Ice Block actually loved him back! Duo was so happy he wanted to burst into tears, but instead just wrapped his arms tightly around Heero, and tightened their hug. They stayed like that for what seemed like ages, just enjoying the warmth from the other's bodies, and loving the fact that the person that was holding them was the person they loved most… and that they were loved back.

The End

*~*~*~*~*
Hell's Note: This story was for a certain friend of mine, she was feeling very lonely and unloved when I wrote this. Hope you never feel that lonely again T_T

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