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Chapter 1 - History of my Ray

Okay, wanted to write yaoi. Finally was there, explaining all about Ray. So if you wanna read, go ahead: NO SPOILERS ^-^

Chapter 1 - History of my Ray

Chapter 1 - History of my Ray
I made up Ray and Mike ages ago. I think I drew my first Ray pic in the summer of 2002. I was inspired by the movie: Basketball Diaries. I loved it how those boys ganged with eachother, having so much influence on eachother. The emotional damage done to them, because they were raised according to a ‘model’ and not according to ‘how the kid is’, was fascinating. I don’t know if I am the only one who finds this intersting.
Anyway, I wanted a group of guys. I wanted 4 boys who were friends and no matter how terrible life was treating them, they would stick up for eachother.
I liked 2 of them the best. I named them Ray and Mike. Simple names.
Maybe fun to know that I got the idea for the name Ray because of the game Rayman. My friend was currently obsessed with him and I found out I liked the name Ray.
I also jumped to the conclusion pretty fast that I wanted a yaoi pairing. I wrote about girl/guy pairing for such a long time and I loved the yaoi of Gundam Wing, I wanted some yaoi of my own!
I did not name Matt and Ryan yet. I hadn’t put them in a big role yet.

My first idea of Ray and Mike was for Mike to take the lead.
I think I turned it the other way around now.
I wanted Ray to be shy, not aware of who he really was and what those feelings were inside of him. I wanted him to be a little dull, but then from the other hand a boy full enthousiasm! He wants life and he wants it good.
Mike, I wanted him to be the tough guy. The guy who knows how he wants it and he wants to do everything to get it. He likes to shock others.
I sketched them like this. I enjoyed sketching them so good. I wanted to write about them. But I wanted Ray to be an alien and in order to do that I had to follow my planning.
You see, Linda and I have always been writing stories. Everntually I was sort of the only one who remained writing. We wrote about a girl and after we finished her story, we went on with that girl’s daughter. When I thought of Ray and figured I wanted Ray to be an alien, I had to wait a long time. I was writing about Ally at that time. Ally was a girl (Rizz’ mother) and I wanted her to be a young mother. So she got Rizz. And Rizz would get Heather (am writing about Heather now) and Heather would be an orphan (sad but true, Rizz and Niels will die) and she would meet an alien, who crashed down in the forrest near the orphenage.
Ray will be born out of those two. So I had a whole period of waiting to go.
Especially because Rizz was taking me more time then I planned. Rizz was a really big part. I really loved to write about her. And in the meanwhile I kept drawing Ray and Mike, fantasing about their story and eventually I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to put their story down! And I wanted to draw it! So in the summer of 2003, when I was on a holiday in Spain, I sketched them as manga characters. I sketched more and more. When I came back from Spain and went to my best friend Jolanda for 2 weeks I developed my own style.
And in January 2004 I was ready to draw. But Ray and Mike were developed.
I also named Ryan and Matt and I decided for their personalities as well.

Now Ray had become the innocent, sweet boy, who lives life on his feelings. What he feels, that’s what counts for him.
Mike, at the other hand, is an insecure, scared and broken guy, hidden in a shell of arrogancy, rudeness and annoyancy. He finds it hard to make a link with his feelings, emotions and his behaviour. This all, ofcourse, has some deeper reasons.

People are often not aware of the damage that can be done to a child at a young age. Things that appear small can leave big scars. Maybe scars you won’t notice immediatly, but they will show eventually.
People don’t know eachothers history. And therefor they don’t know what caused those scars. Children often don’t like to talk about these scars either. So there excist misunderstanding.
You start to avoid that person, because you don’t know how to handle him and his scars.

Scars are left on many ways.
Ofcourse, it’s obvious you can leave those ‘scars’ by abusing and molesting your child. Each child reacts differently on these actions. Some grow agressive, go the wrong way in life. Others become very bowing towards others. Both very insecure, not developed in how to deal with others.
But the worst scars are left on those who were ignored and left alone.
Nothing is worse for a human being then not being replied by others.

Not feeling accepted can damage you forever.

And wouldn’t it be worse for a kid to witness this all without being able to do anything about it, to help out? And when this kid has a certain ‘disorder’ it can only get complicated for a child to accept it and go on with his life.
Hiding in your own fantasy, in your own thought, your own interests, because here you feel safe. This is what you know, you know what to expect from it all.
Other find it weird, but you don’t see it, you go on, you feel good.
This goes up for a lot of cases.

Be aware I feel like a damn psychologist here.

Anyways, I just want to make clear that I really like to dig in the deaper into the emotional damage of people. I am really interested in what kind of consequences those traumatic experiences are causing for kids.
And what if, besides that terrible history of a kid, you end up in a house with a whole bunch of people who are emotionally and socially damaged and you find out you fall for ‘those’ who you are not supposed to love?
I figured it would be very hard for Mike, who already feels like the only sane one in the ‘Mental House’, to be dealing with his sexuality. He doesn’t wanna be different. He just want to have a life without troubles. Somehow troubles seem to be coming and coming, like he is a magnet.
Maybe this is also the reason I couldn’t let Mike just be a tough guy. He had to be a tough guy with a reason. His rudeness had to be shield to protect him. A shield, though, easy to brake for a certain guy named Ray.
I couldn’t let Ray be the guy I thought of him to be at first. He mustn’t be a back-away-cuz-wtf-is-happening?-boy, like Mike now sometimes is.
I don’t think Mike could open up for that kind of people.
Ray had to be innocent, openhearted and accepting towards his own feelings. He loves Mike, so that’s final to him. Mike needs somebody who accepts him like that, who won’t give up on him and his behaviour.
Put me to the next step.
Is Ray is an alien, why not adding some things to him? I don’t want to spoil. I won’t explain why Ray, as an alien, looks so much like a human. Nope! You just have to wait and see. But one thing is for sure. I added something to Ray that would make sure he would love somebody like a swan would love an other swan.
Maybe a weird explanation, but grab your biology-books and find it our yourself what I mean.

That Ryan would be a death-obsessed sweetheart wasn’t planned. I did not know how to put his character-thingies. I was sure he had to be a smiling-type. Somebody who is very smart indeed. When I was fooling around one day, and after I’ve seen Harry Potter 2, I came to the quote Mr. Weasley said: Are you really?
So I thought of Ryan being a death-obsessed idiot.
“Look a spoon, let’s spoon someone’s eyes out!”
”Ehm....You must use that spoon to eat icecream, Ryan.”
”Ow, really? *big big smile*” And then just being happy with that explanation and go on with the daily activities.
He isn’t really minding others as much as I put in this little example.
Actually he just acts like he wants and his world revolves around Mike.

Matt, ow Matt was bond to turn out as an Indian-kinda-guy. I wanted him to be silent, thoughtfull. He did not move when he did not have to.
And nobody would be able to communicate with him. But ofcourse, his friends eventually would. I wanted him to be like that.
And he did stay like that. I think Matt is the only one who did not change that intense.

So, I explained a lot here. I actually started this typing to explain it all a little more clear for myself. Haha, actaully in the very first place I wanted to write some yaoi, cuz I got such a cool yaoi music videos and readed some 1x2 fanfics.
But anyways, this clears out some problems maybe. Maybe it will only dig up more questions. But now I don’t have to explain over and over again how I thought of Ray.
You can read what I wrote write here.
And I don’t like to spoil, though sometimes I wanna spoil so badly. Drawing goes slow, but it also gives me times to think of good ideas, conversations and actions. YUP!
And reminder: Ray is a 13 year old, though more mature on certain areas then other humans of his age, but I still don’t know how far I will go with the yaoi on the moment thinks
*image of yaoi video clip in head*
Tee hee... Yummy.
*looks up Earthian pics*
Kay: You’re getting way of subject.
Me: You reading a long all the time?
Kay: *grins* You bet!
Me: Ow well! ^-^
Cha bye bye for now!


Comments (20)

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waterangel843 on January 10, 2007, 5:55:43 AM

waterangel843 on
waterangel843AWESOME!! that like answered...almost all my questions about Ray. YAY KIKI!!

Night_Wolf on November 12, 2005, 2:40:54 AM

Night_Wolf on
Night_Wolfawesome, that explains a lot! i like ryan!

Lasatira on September 28, 2005, 4:39:28 AM

Lasatira on
LasatiraThis explains everything. I really like this story about Ray, Mike, Ryan and Matt..most of it is about Ray.. well I kinda know how some of your characters feel, because I'm kinda like that. When I don't feel save I hide in my own world, my I know more about them and It's fine to know. Go on with your comic you're really good and you have talent...^__~

Electra_Cheez on September 26, 2005, 7:16:39 AM

Electra_Cheez on
Electra_CheezYUS!!! UBER AWSEMO! LUV YA STROY, YO!!! O.O way betta' than mine.... XD

kitty706 on September 4, 2005, 7:47:01 PM

kitty706 on
kitty706man that is long but it explained alot can't wait to see what happens next c ya

Rikus_Lover_MINE on June 21, 2005, 2:46:29 AM

Rikus_Lover_MINE on
Rikus_Lover_MINEGo Almighty Pie-Chan! ^_^

zefi on June 13, 2005, 6:07:43 PM

zefi on
zefiawsome design!! i luff it!

MitsukaiOkeruOozora on June 12, 2005, 2:01:10 PM

MitsukaiOkeruOozora on
MitsukaiOkeruOozoraThat's cool how you can stick with one idea for so long! I luv Ryan... und Matt... hell all of them.

Deathelf on April 1, 2005, 5:45:27 PM

Deathelf on
DeathelfCOOL!!! Me like, I was wondering hoew you thought of Kay... he's almost like superman, wiat a minute, he's can fly, supper can fly, he is strong supper is strong... you have your very own supper hero! But he's much cuter than superman... YAY!!!

Cara on February 6, 2005, 1:42:35 PM

Cara on
CaraCool. Great job. ^^ Here have a doughnut. *shoves a doughnut down your throat*