Chapter 0 - Is it really better now?

I didn’t understand
I was way too young and dumb
To even notice
I didn’t know anything better
So I continued as I always had

I feel sorry for my past self
How she didn’t know hurts to know when looking back
She wouldn’t have had to walk alone
To be alone

But still I know she was happy
She had her friends
Only hers
Simply because no one else could see them

She wasn’t that lonely girl most of the time
She was a cat with black fur who couldn’t find his way home
Always walking, trying to find somewhere to start all over again

When she was a girl she had some classmates
They didn’t really want to play with her
And she didn’t really approach them
Since that day when another girl left
Just to be hurt by yet another
But by that time it was too late to come back
For the girl I was didn’t want to be approached anymore

She had her friends
She had her own world
She didn’t need something concrete
That was much worse than the abstract things she created herself

Maybe I shouldn’t feel sorry for her
Maybe it wasn’t that bad after all
Maybe it’s just egoistic to feel sorry for myself
And maybe

Maybe I want to go back

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