...I like the first prolouge better. Granted, both of them flow very well, and you portray ankle-biters perfectly...I'm wondering where this is going, but that's good.

Keep it up. This would make an interesting story.

You are a good writer, Can't wait to read more of your storie...

Ah, well written as always. A few grammer mistakes (hardly notiiceable), but other wise the English is all good ^^ The only thing that kinda bugged me was how you made Aura completely open up when talking. If you had made it so she wasn't so talkative all of a sudden, I think it would've been better. But this was still good, none the less ^^

Nyuuu.


I envy you for your story writing skills AS WELL as your drawing skills. You are just too amazing. Curse you. I'm attempting to write my story, but t'isnt nearly as good as yours D:

You describe all the characters so well, I love how you develop their personalities^^ And your descriptions of things are great! Will keep checking for updates of this story^^

This is going on my faves for sure. Great job!

FIRST COMMENT!!!!!!!!
oh yeah, i rock, *dances*
......clears throat* sorry, got a little caried away.
any way, i love this story so far the characters are awsome and you write with a lot of detail!! ^__^ i guess you could say your quality in writing matches your quality in art!!
in other words......IT ROCKS!!!
now.......back to my celebration.......*oh yeah, i was first to comment* *i was first to comment*
*fades away*
bye*

wow, thats great. i like the way you describe stuff. there is way more detail in your stories then in mine. aand that is definateley a good thing. but the fan fic i have on here is my first one. i always start writing them but the one on here is going to be the first one i finish...lol. anyways great job. i hope you post more soon.

*glomps you*

Wow! This is awesome, you are so good at describing things^^ I want to see what happens next! Great job!

this is a very neat story. its so detailed but not in a boring way. it really ineterests me

this is a very neat story. its so detailed but not in a boring way. it really ineterests me

this is a very neat story. its so detailed but not in a boring way. it really ineterests me

this is a very neat story. its so detailed but not in a boring way. it really ineterests me

this is a very neat story. its so detailed but not in a boring way. it really ineterests me

gosh!! this is soo cool! u are doin great on grammar! well,u see my grammar usually sucks,so,its good if i can be as good as you,BB! i had always envy those who are great in english/grammar..i can never improve my english..lol

well,ok..i think this is a great beginning.the opening of this story is great! and i like how u create ur charcters ^_^

its good! XD

ahhh..yes,thx for letting me to ask for a request! heeee...i cant get into ur profile page due to this stupid connection of mine..so i'll juz ask u here ^O^

could u draw a pic of Kyou and Tooru for me? ^_^ any pose u like,outfit? ermm..their autumn's uniform would be great.errr...i don wan it to be romantic...juz a playful or peaceful one is ok^^

thx a lot,if u could do this for me! i lub you,ahhhhhhh!!
XD atashi ureshii desu!! domo arigatou gozaimasu!

This is a good story! ^.^ There were a few grammatical errors (as with almost ALL online stories) and some of your words were switched (ex: ...and stepped out to the dust filled streets of Egypt, staring at the dingy boat which was supposed to occupy her child. [This implies that the boat is occupying the child, not the other way around.]), but overall it's a good story; it has great potential. Also, I loved the way you described things; it gave me a vivid image in my head. So, please continue the story and thank you for your comments ^.^