Demons on the Outside by setokaibaslittlesis

by: YuckFou on May 12, 2008 08:05 PM chapter 22

Thats REALLY good. Kinda sad at the same time.

Poor old man.

by: hflp on May 9, 2008 09:25 AM chapter 22

I liked it. Every story needs a highly emotional scene in it.

by: ladychaos on May 9, 2008 09:23 AM chapter 22

it's a very sad chapter, not only did Keiko have to go to the 3rd hokage's funeral but she had to cremate Balki. poor thing, i can understand why she didn't want to talk to anyone

by: PandaChan21 on Apr 15, 2008 06:12 PM chapter 21

Ooh, very nice! I loved it, and you always characterize Akara perfectly. Funny fact: Akara is terrified of scorpions.

by: NamidaNara on Apr 12, 2008 07:05 PM chapter 21

Awesome!!

But....You still didn't add Nara! Unless I read wrong...

by: ladychaos on Apr 11, 2008 10:33 PM chapter 21

awesome chapter, i like the fight scenes
you described Selina's controled demon form very well XD

by: YuckFou on Apr 11, 2008 08:12 PM chapter 21

That was so awesome I loved it Straw. But...Who is Midori? All I know who Midori is is Tai, Jami and Selina's Sensei (belongs to hi-lary on dA) whos this one?

by: hflp on Apr 11, 2008 06:26 PM chapter 21

Good chapter. Worth the wait. But that ending was so sad. T.T

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Apr 11, 2008 07:30 PM chapter 0

0.o
You read my story?

by: sailoraqua13 on Apr 11, 2008 06:18 PM chapter 21

Ohhhhhhh...TTTTTTTTTT____TTTTTTTTTTTTTT Please add the next chappie soon! Hey, little fact I forgot to mention about Reiko:
She has a wolf demon they all call the Shiomi inside her. It only comes out when she's really angry and when it comes out of her her chakra turns green.

by: YuckFou on Mar 17, 2008 07:36 AM chapter 0

UPDATE!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Apr 11, 2008 06:05 PM chapter 0

I DID!! =D

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Mar 9, 2008 10:05 AM chapter 1

ON NOES!
I deleted the GOOD chapter one!
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

by: FluffysPrincess2968 on Mar 7, 2008 06:42 PM chapter 6

nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;_;

by: FluffysPrincess2968 on Mar 7, 2008 06:40 PM chapter 0

Blarg. I r laazzzzzzzyyy. =/ i've just been skimming through this, even if I can read really fast. =/ Which chapter does Ishizu and Murasaki come in? or have I skimmed to much? =/

by: PandaChan21 on Feb 9, 2008 06:01 PM chapter 20

Update soon! I'm practically withering away and dying over here!

by: KionaKina on Feb 8, 2008 05:31 PM chapter 20

WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!

by: NamidaNara on Feb 6, 2008 02:41 PM chapter 0

Amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazin!

And yeah! You said Nara would be in this chappie!!!

by: ladychaos on Feb 5, 2008 09:16 AM chapter 20

oooooo awesome chapter XD
Â
can't wait for more

by: YuckFou on Feb 4, 2008 06:42 PM chapter 20

YAHOO!
Great chapter! The suspence is killing me! O___O

by: YuckFou on Feb 3, 2008 11:29 AM chapter 20

Me too! Its getting good!

by: KionaKina on Feb 2, 2008 12:01 PM chapter 20

Tell me when the chappie is done

by: ladychaos on Jan 30, 2008 09:37 AM chapter 19

that was an awesome fight with keiko and kaori^^

by: PandaChan21 on Jan 23, 2008 04:57 PM chapter 19

Hurry up! I wanna see the next part!

by: YuckFou on Jan 23, 2008 10:04 AM chapter 19

=D

by: KionaKina on Jan 22, 2008 05:48 PM chapter 19

Darn, Kaori lost. Oh well, it was a really good fight. Let me know when the chapter is done ^_^

by: ladychaos on Jan 13, 2008 01:05 PM chapter 18

awesome chapter^^
Â
one little thing though, Selina dose not have the demon sealed inside her, she was born half a two tailed demon (her dad was a demon her mom was human)

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Jan 13, 2008 03:56 PM chapter 0

Ahhh.
>_<
Well, I feel stupid.

I'll fix that as soon as I can. Which will probably be tomorrow when I get home from school.

by: ladychaos on Jan 15, 2008 01:30 PM chapter 0

you don't have to re-wright the chapter if you don't wan to^^
in a future chapter you could write it that it was Kaori's idea that she had the demon sealed inside her or something like that

by: PandaChan21 on Jan 11, 2008 04:30 PM chapter 18

Best chapter name ever! I like how you portrayed Akara. It sounds just like her!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Jan 13, 2008 03:56 PM chapter 0

YAY!
At least I'm protraying one person correctly!
^^

by: KionaKina on Jan 11, 2008 04:16 PM chapter 18

Ok, 1. Brilliant Chapter name. I started laughing when I read it.

2. I...fell...so...special *Glomp* YOU ROCK!! But who's gonna win our match? wow...I'm totally stoked!

UPDATE!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Jan 13, 2008 03:59 PM chapter 0

^^ I'm glad everyone likes the chapter title. I really just randomly typed it in.

And why do you feel special?
XD
I'm attempting, but everytime I get on the computer with that intention, I get distracted.
Mayhaps I'll get stuff written during school tomorrow and will update it. I'll be updating more now that my little brother's saxaphone lessons have started up. That gives me about two hours with the computer to myself.

by: SnowKitty on Jan 5, 2008 06:52 AM chapter 17

Ooh! Very nice chappies!

by: PandaChan21 on Jan 4, 2008 02:22 PM chapter 17

Nice...I gotta use that quote sometime...

by: finalfantasy on Dec 28, 2007 09:09 PM chapter 17

ooohhhh...
hehe, burn, gaara...

by: finalfantasy on Dec 28, 2007 09:07 PM chapter 16

heyyy....
sorry i havent been posting regular comments...
ive been really busy...
but, the story rox! i just finished reading all the new chapters. comment me when u update!
:P

by: CupidStunt on Dec 23, 2007 07:08 PM chapter 17

Is Tai and Jami not gonna be in here again?
awell...

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 24, 2007 03:03 PM chapter 0

They aren't going to be in every chapter.
The story is told in third person limited, meaning if Keiko isn't there, it isn't being told in the story.
I may change that in the near future.
Rest assured that I will be putting them in before the Chunnin Exam Finals. =)

by: CupidStunt on Dec 24, 2007 06:38 PM chapter 0

ok

by: KionaKina on Dec 22, 2007 04:44 PM chapter 17

O_O ... *Points and laughs insanely at the part with Jiraiya* THAT was bloody hysterical!!! *Falls over laughing*

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 24, 2007 03:03 PM chapter 0

XD Thanks

by: ladychaos on Dec 22, 2007 12:28 PM chapter 17

lol Choji isn't going to be happy
awesome chapter

by: PandaChan21 on Dec 21, 2007 10:44 PM chapter 16

Right then...no killing Sasuke in the immediate future, then...

by: PandaChan21 on Dec 21, 2007 10:41 PM chapter 15

Hey! Gimme back my confetti!

by: KionaKina on Dec 21, 2007 04:54 PM chapter 16

Hey, it's Jami! And Selina! *Laughs* I love this chappie, it's awesome...but i'm afraid to mess with Selina now... O_O She seems mmmaaaaaddddd.

by: CupidStunt on Dec 21, 2007 05:52 PM chapter 0

No one loves Tai...:(

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 01:51 PM chapter 13

awesome fights, although i thought Kaori would end up the winner...oh well

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 01:48 PM chapter 12

now that is going to be an interesting fight, wonder who will win

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 01:46 PM chapter 10

Anko's entrance was always to coolest
nice chapter

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 01:06 PM chapter 6

WTF! Kakashi is a jerk hitting Balki like that, poor little guy

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 12:50 PM chapter 4

Kakashi is so cruel to Keiko
great chapter though

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 12:38 PM chapter 3

awesome chapter

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 12:30 PM chapter 2

wow, i never would have expected Hinata to act like that...

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 21, 2007 12:37 PM chapter 0

Meh...yeah. I need to write the first few chapters again. I changed too many cannons' actual personality.

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 12:28 PM chapter 1

that's a shame they arn't letting her pass, poor Keiko

by: ladychaos on Dec 21, 2007 12:25 PM chapter 16

awesome chapter, i like how you've captured the emotions of all the characters
lol it sounds like Selina is PMSing

by: CupidStunt on Dec 21, 2007 12:01 PM chapter 16

This is really interesting! I love it! Thanks so much for adding my charaters in! ^_^

I hope Tai gets a bigger part too next chapter. He's basically my alter ego, for my bratty side and Jami is my shy side.

Im faving this!

by: KionaKina on Dec 19, 2007 06:14 PM chapter 15

awesomeness!! your story is totally awesome!!!

by: PandaChan21 on Dec 17, 2007 08:37 PM chapter 14

*freaks* OH MY GOD, JACKERAH! *still freaks out*

Good chappie! *faves story to infinity*

by: KionaKina on Dec 17, 2007 04:22 PM chapter 14

Aww, I remember that fight agaisnt Gaara and Lee. It was really awesome but so sad.

Well, good chappie!

by: PandaChan21 on Dec 13, 2007 05:13 PM chapter 13

I agree with Kay-chan and Ki-chan...POOR HINATA! Oh, and the fight was awesome!!!

by: SnowKitty on Dec 12, 2007 05:35 AM chapter 13

Agreeing with KionaKina on this one. Our fight was awesome! Great chappie! ^-^

by: KionaKina on Dec 11, 2007 07:01 PM chapter 13

HINATA!!! *Panicks* OMG!! GET SOME HELP!!! *Freaks out*

And I loved my fight...BUT HINATA-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 11, 2007 07:01 PM chapter 0

Man...
0.o
You read that fasssst.

by: PandaChan21 on Dec 10, 2007 09:32 PM chapter 12

*stares, then collapses to ground*

Gaara: Oh great, now guess who has to wake her up...

Kay: Oh...that's easy! *pokes me*

Me: AHH! OKAY, I'M UP! *bows to you* Arigato, good work. Read my story, there's more on my attacks in the new chappie!

Everyone: SAYONARA!!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 11, 2007 12:58 PM chapter 0

I'll make sure to that before your battle. ^^

by: SnowKitty on Dec 10, 2007 07:03 PM chapter 12

Whoa. That's interesting. I'm gonna be fighting Kaori?! I look forward to seeing how that's going to turn out. Your story is pretty good, although I've only read this chappie! Good job! ^-^

by: KionaKina on Dec 11, 2007 07:01 PM chapter 0

yuppers, tis a good fight...you stab me ^^;;

by: KionaKina on Dec 10, 2007 07:01 PM chapter 12

O_O I GOTTA FACE MEH FRIEND?! *Falls to knees* NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

btw, update soon! ^_^

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 11, 2007 01:00 PM chapter 0

Yeah, Sorry about that.
I didn't want to change the attacks and we had enough people.
If it makes you feel any better, orginally you were going to fight Jackerah, who is on your own team.
But now I have enough people so teams don't have to fight each other.
And...and...
-feels slightly guilty-

by: PandaChan21 on Dec 9, 2007 06:39 PM chapter 11

I'm speechless.

Gaara: *is in teh emo corner* You didn't have to glomp me that hard...now I can't feel my legs...

Meh: *smiles* Good work. Here's a cookie...*gives you cookie, then throws confetti in the air*

by: KionaKina on Dec 4, 2007 05:09 PM chapter 11

Wow...that was just...wow

I LOVE your fic, it's so dramatic and well-written!!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Dec 5, 2007 01:08 PM chapter 0

Thanks!
That means a lot to me, KionaKina.

by: cherryblossom93 on Dec 3, 2007 06:36 PM chapter 10

Jeepers creepers. Ibiki is intimidating.

Yosh! I love Anko and all of her brash idiocy-ness. Cool chapter, I can't wait for the Forest of Death arc.

^.^

by: KionaKina on Dec 3, 2007 06:16 PM chapter 10

I loved that part of the test, it was so funny how they all were like "WTF!? Ya mean that was a fluke?!" It's awesome...

CHUUNIN EXAMS ROCK!!! Let me know if you need details on Kaori for it

by: sasuke4kun on Dec 3, 2007 04:55 PM chapter 10

it was good reminds me of the naruto exam i like.
Keiko seems a howle lot like naruto which is cool.
I love Anko's entry LOL she is ready.(:
but i haven't read your other ones yet i just might you never know when you will get a comment from me.
OOO OO ja you are the first one i have comented on a stroy ever congrats. JK
im out.

by: KionaKina on Dec 3, 2007 06:18 AM chapter 9

Wooow...KAORI!!! *Cheers* Thanks for including me!!!

by: cherryblossom93 on Nov 26, 2007 01:20 PM chapter 8

Awesomeness. Great job on the chapter! This is one of my favorite arcs in the series, so I love reading fanfictions on them.

Update soon!

^.^

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Nov 25, 2007 07:04 PM chapter 8

;___;
Why doesn't it accpet my punctuation and paragraphs?
WHHHYYYY?

by: cherryblossom93 on Nov 26, 2007 01:24 PM chapter 0

Oh, you're submitting it as a document that you saved in your computer. FAC is stupid like that.

It replaces all quotes with weird little squares, when you submit a chapter from a file already on your computer. Just copy and paste everything from the original document (after clicking the BB version of submitting a chapter).

Ah....I stink at giving instructions, don't I? XD

Feel free to ask if you have any questions.

^.^

by: finalfantasy on Aug 2, 2007 05:17 PM chapter 7

YAY! thank u so much for updating, i have been waiting for forever! i love it!

by: finalfantasy on Jul 5, 2007 09:15 PM chapter 6

omg! after this, im gonna HATE kakashi!

by: cherryblossom93 on Apr 6, 2007 04:21 PM chapter 6

Eep! Kakashi doesn't like puppies very much, does he? STOP HITTING THE PUPPY! IT'S A PUPPY! You don't hit puppies, you just don't. Sicko. Lol, sorry, but I have two dogs (one of which is a puppy). Sorry for the lateness of my comment...But great chapters! Okay, I only have one small piece of advice that you really don't have to listen to, cause it isn't a big deal. If you feel like it, space everything out a little more. It makes the story look longer and it's easier to read. Just a suggestion, because I know that I want some critism from people on my stories...All I get are compliments or threats when I don't update fast enough...Mostly threats...(I'm afraid to sleep at night...)XD

by: cherryblossom93 on Jan 10, 2007 05:53 PM chapter 4

Yay! Can't wait to see what happens next...^^
Thanx a bunch for lettin' me know!

by: cherryblossom93 on Oct 30, 2006 03:16 PM chapter 3

great chappie...still luvin' it!!!!

And just so ya know, i finished Sasuke gets amnesia and started a sequel cause it was kinda short...(its called The Sequel:Naruto Gets Amnesia....i know...how creative am i?)

^^

by: cherryblossom93 on Oct 2, 2006 02:24 PM chapter 2

Keep going! I never knew kakashi was so evil....poor Keiko....gullable Hinata....o well, thats life...WRITE MORE!

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Sep 28, 2006 01:51 PM chapter 1

Oh my gosh. This chapter is so horribly written even I can't stand it.

by: setokaibaslittlesis on Sep 28, 2006 01:49 PM chapter 1

Meh. I can't get the first fist chapter to delete. curse you FAC system! Please read the one that says something at the top about editing instead. The Original was full of things that weren't realistic.

by: cherryblossom93 on Sep 27, 2006 04:36 PM chapter 1

thats great! please write more! ^_^