Very nice. I have to disagree with rlkitten on this one. I think the details are just right. Great job once again, though I see what you mean it needs some revision. (You know you can edit after you've posted) I also like the idea of the story, it's the first one I've read that portrays Itachi as a good guy. Faves story and author.
anything more specific...?
I need some good old critique too ya know. While I submitted it I read through it thinking, "This story is so horrible..." -_-'
But thanks for commenting anyway^^
Naw- I haven't got anything to say really..../\_/\; Sorry I think it's good...not great, but good.....I don't know how to say this...uhmm...a 'little teeny weeny bit' much on the detail. A little too much detail can make a story seem sort of long and boresome after a while...?
Ex: The beautiful golden daffidil in the light blue vase sat in all tranquility on the dust covered windowsill that had a few marks, due to Rosietta putting her fingertips there every once in a while to look out the wide open window that was allowing snow to drift into her empty bedroom.
I mean...I can't image reading a whole story written just like that...i dunno....that was a bad example.. -_-;
,
Submitted: 2008-01-21, Updated: 2008-03-29,
Chapters: 1, Size: 3K,
Words: 599, Comments: 17,
Views: 179
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