One word: Line breaks.
It is practicly just a bunch of mooshed text. Gah.

*sniffle* ;_; How beatiful! T_T I luff this, just one constructive critisism;
add comas between "thoughts" Example;
"You give me reasons to cry, But you always make me smile," That way it's easier to read^^

*faves* you're so good^^

it is really good in the beggining. he end was a little weak. you fell out of meter, and strayed a little in the word choice so it didnt seem to project the same kind of image. I the beggining it was great.

wow this is good! *adds to favs* good job!!

i like it. *faves* i just think that the math part is a little out of line & too many words rhyme w/ had. but thats just 1 person's opinion out of 6 billion. well, i like it. Luv- pinkay

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Cries eyes out then puts them back in* Thats so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Gives Blizz a Muffin & resumes crying* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....!

How cool take this watermelon cube 4 luck.

That is so cool*sniffle* I'm ok
Hey, did y'all know this is based on two characters we have in another comic?

That´s great, you are a genius!Add to favs!