Things I Don't Like.

I don't Saint Patrick's Day.

I don't like wearing a kilt.

I don't like playing a bagpipe.

I don't like marching in a parade for 4 hours.

I don't like leading the marching band.

I don't like drunk Irish guys with stupid green hats and cheap novelties trying to flirt with me while I do that.

I don't like the slightest chance of me in a kilt playing a bagpipe and marching with stiff feet and leading the marching band while being flirted with by drunk Irish guys being seen on TV or in a magazine.

...

I don't like that kid who was out sick when he was supposed to be leading the marching band.

I don't like the guy that made me take that kid's place.

I don't like clovers.

I don't like Saint Patrick.

I don't like his stupid holiday (which is only a holiday in Ireland!).

I don't like this giant fuzzy hat that weighs a ton.