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Chapter 1 - Tragedy

The Nintendo Universe is thrown into chaos. Sides will be chosen, worlds destroyed, and lives changed forever. Armageddon has arrived.

Chapter 1 - Tragedy

Chapter 1 - Tragedy
It all starts on a joyous day. The Mushroom Kingdom was celebrating. And why not? It was the anniversary of Princess Peach's corrination. Five years of prosperity, under one of the most beautiful and benevolent princesses in all Mushroom Kingdom's history. And what better day to celebrate this wonderous person than today?
The day had started with a parade arranged by Peach's trusted aid, Toadsworth. Everyone in Mushroom City, and from the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom, was there. The air was filled with the cheers and whistles of all who adored the Princess. All who saw her agreed she looked absolutely radiant and shone with purity.
After the parade, the celebration was moved to the Princess's castle, where the Princess treated a host of honored guests to food, drink, and merryment. Among those honored guests was none other than Mario, the one person to whom she owed so much.
Mario, of course, was more than overjoyed to be in her company. Their relationship was no secret, and all invited knew very well why he was on top of the guest list.
Unfortunately, Mario, being the famous hero he was, had attracted as much attention as his girlfriend, which meant both were hounded to no end by adoring fans and admirers, giving them hardly any time alone. But there was no escaping it, so what else could they do but mix and mingle.
Mario had been telling another story to another eager group of children. This was probably the sixth or seventh time he told this particular story. But then someone yelled, "Hey, more fried mushrooms!" at that, the crowd dispersed and headed straight for the food table. Mario was releaved at the lucky break he got, and felt grateful for brothers.
"Thanks, Luigi," he said to the mustachioed person behind him.
"You looked like you needed some alone time," Luigi replied, slapping a warm hand on his shoulder.
"Well, as good company as you are, I'd prefer some time with Peach. No offense, bro," said Mario.
"No problemo, bro. Daisy's working on Peach," Luigi said encouragingly.
As a matter of fact, Daisy had already extracated Peach and was currently leading her to Mario.
"Thanks for saving me back there," Peach said to Daisy.
Daisy smirked and said, "You always need saving. I just save you from the minor stuff."
They had just passed a dancing couple when Peach commented, "I'm sorry, but couldn't you have worn something more...appropriate?"
Daisy had worn a tight pair of orange jeans and a yellow short sleeved shirt that matched. That's how Daisy was; never formal or proper, and it irritated Peach to no end.
"Well, these are my new favorite clothes now. I just grew out of that silly old dress," she said to Peach.
"I'm serious!" Peach replied, "I mean, you're next in line for the throne. You should at least try to act the role of a Princess."
Daisy simply shrugged and said, "I'll worry about that when it comes. I mean, it's not like you're going anywhere anytime soon."
Peach decided to say nothing in reply. She realized that's how Daisy was, but there was nothing wrong with taking some things seriously. Still, she couldn't help but envy Daisy's spirit.
Daisy wasn't the only one feeling carefree. Everyone at the party was enjoying it to it's fullest. So much so, that they failed to notice the strange cloaked figure standing close to the wall. This uninvited person had slipped in with the crowd, literally unnoticed. All the guests were too busy with having fun to even see him, and they probably wouldn't have suspected anything of him. They were all here to celebrate Princess Peach, so they wouldn't have thought him being here for any other reason.
But he did have another reason. He was here on a job; one that would pay off greatly. True, the deed he was about to perform was despicable, but he always made it a rule to ignore morals.
Though Peach was the life of the party, she wasn't the reason he was here. The one he was searching for was just ten feet away from the Princess; the one in the red hat and blue overalls.
So that's Mario, huh? Not the kind of guy I expected. Ah, well...
Even when he considered all the stories he heard, he still couldn't believe this fat, mustached, plumber guy was all his employer made him out to be. If his assumptions were right, this would go over with no trouble whatsoever. Of course, he made bad assumptions before.
That moment was when he made his move. Normally he would've preferred him to be alone, but he knew how close he and the Princess were, and if they got together, he'd never be able to get him alone again. With that in mind, he drew the pistol he hid in his cloak and took aim. He hoped it would only take one bullet; less of a mess that way.
His hopes, however were dashed. One guard, who was next to Mario at the time, was a little more observant than the others, and saw this cloaked figure take aim at Mario. And fortunately for him, this guard reacted a second faster than the unknown assasin.
"Get down!" the guard yelled as he pushed the oblivious Mario to the floor. No sooner had he done this than a shot rang out and a bullet whizzed past Mario's ear. The bullet hit the wall, and caused the whole room to go into a frenzy.
At this point, discression was no longer possible or necessary, meaning he could finally remove his cloak and draw the weapon he was more accustomed to.
Both Peach and Daisy, who had heard the shot, froze in their tracks. Peach's first thought was for Mario, and looked frantically about to see if he was hurt, but Daisy, in the meanwhile, was trying to get Peach someplace safe.
Mario was only vaguely aware of what had just happened. As far as he knew, someone fired something at him, and he was only just barely saved. As he looked about himself, all he could see was a storm of rushing feet. It wasn't until Luigi pulled him up that he was able to get a good look at his attacker.
"That's him, bro!" Luigi exclaimed, pointing at the only 'guest' who wasn't running. It only took a minute for the entire ballroom to empty and only a hand full of people were left. Peach and Daisy found shelter behind a buffet table; a number of the castle guards had surrounded the assailant; which left Mario and Luigi, standing their grounds.
So far, the mysterious attacker made no efforts to resist, but the guards were still apprehensive.
"Just who do you think you are, fiend?!" one of the guards barked.
"I am," the cloaked assasin told them, "your executioner."
No sooner had he said this when he threw the cloak off and whipped out the blade he was hiding under it. What followed was a flurry of slices that sliced open all the guards around him. They fell where they stood.
All watching couldn't believe what had just happened. Mario was silent, while Luigi felt his stomach turn. Under the table, Peach had to cover her mouth to keep from screaming. Daisy was on the verge of vomiting.
But just as frightening was the true face of their enemy. He was taller than Mario. He also wore a blue jump suit, with a sheath for his sword at his waist. The sword was short and slender, and designed in a fasion that was bizarre to Mario. What was most bizarre about this character was head. He wore a white helmet with only one eye hole in the middle of it. It gave him the appearance of a demon.
He then pointed at Mario and asked cooly, "You're Mario, right?"
Mario nodded, bracing for what was to come.
"Nothing personal," the assasin continued, "but you need to die now."
With that, he lunged forward, his sword ready to slice Mario like it had the guards. But Mario was a fraction faster, and had leapt away in time to dodge the attack. Luigi had also jumped away, and threw a fireball at the assasin, who easily deflected the attack and refocused on Mario. He had just turned his head when Mario's fist connected and sent him flying backwards into a fountain.
Almost immediately, The assasin recovered in mid-air, rebounded towards the ceiling, and then pushed off against it to dive straight towards Mario. Mario then dodged the attack, and responded with a flying kick that knocked his opponent into the opposite wall.
It was at this point the assasin began to understand Mario's reputation. But he wasn't about to back down now; there was his own reputation to think about.
"Don't think just because you got a couple lucky shots that you can beat the Grey Fox!"
Mario was undaunted, "Then come on!"
With that, both fighters began flying all about the room, striking each other with each pass. It was almost dizzying watching the whole fight. Luigi wasn't worried; he'd seen his brother in action, and knew all to well his brother would win. Peach and Daisy were of the same opinion, of course.
It was a span of a few minutes before they finally stopped. Both had just had one last lunge at each other and stopped on opposite sides of the room, each staring the other down. Mario had suffered a couple cuts from Grey Fox's sword, but nothing fatal. Grey Fox on the other hand had taken a fair amount of blows from Mario, making the match far more one-sided than he would have preferred. Still, failure wasn't an option. Getting arrested here would probably been not so bad; the denizens of this world, Grey Fox surmised, most likely didn't believe in corporal punishment, but returning to his boss empty handed would have meant something far worse, worse than even being stiffed on the bill, and Grey Fox wasn't about to think about that option. On the other hand, what else could he do? He was ordered to get a pure soul, and the target he was told to go after was pummeling him silly.
Then, he noticed something, or rather someone, just over Mario's shoulder. He soon recognized her as that Princess Peach he had heard the other guests talking about. The way they praised her almost made her out to be a saint. Whether that was just celebrity hype or not, Grey Fox had no way of knowing, but if her soul was pure enough...
Well, he didn't say it had to be this guy's soul.
In a flash, Grey Fox lunged again, his sword poised for a stabbing motion. Mario lept to the side, dodging the attack and preparing to launch one of his own. But Grey Fox didn't stop, and kept flying until he reached his new target.
It all happened so fast. Peach barely got a gasp out before Grey Fox's sword plunged right through her. Daisy only had time to turn and watch in unspoken horror. Luigi felt his blood drain from his face, and his voice leave him. But horrified most of all was Mario. It was only now that he remembered Peach and that she was still in the room. The thought of what he had not been able to stop made his entire body go numb.
"I was supposed to take your soul," Grey Fox yelled to Mario as he pulled the sword from her body and a small orb from his pocket, "but her's will do fine, I guess."
Then, small whisps of blue mist began ebbing from Peach's mouth and nostrils and into the orb. As it happened, her eyes began to grow dim, and her skin grow pale.
At that instant, Mario lunged in a blind rage he never felt in his entire life.
"LET HER GO!!!"
But as he did so, Grey Fox flung a pepper shaker that had been on the table into Mario's face, and he fell to the ground, blinded and bleeding. Daisy in the meanwhile had fallen backwards, still silent. Her dearest friend was in danger; she needed to do something. But what? Any action Daisy could have taken would have resulted in her death too. The thought of death terrified her to no end. She wanted to scream, but couldn't. It was like the fear was a snake wrapped around her neck and waiste, squeezing the air out of her.
Luigi was the next to attack.
"YOU MONST-!!"
Luigi never finished his sentence. It was then that Grey Fox threw his sword in a frisbee like motion towards Luigi. In his anger, Luigi was unable to react in time, and the sword found it's mark, wedging itself into Luigi's head and cleaving it like a watermelon. Luigi's body fell to the ground and slid a short distance before coming to a final rest.
Mario had wiped away enough glass, pepper, and blood to open his eyes to a tiny slit, just in time to see his brother's final moments. Had it not been for the pepper still in his mouth, he would have cried out in double pain; but he could only manage a soft, strained yell.
It wasn't long before the blue mist stopped ebbing from Peach's mouth and nose, and Grey Fox's mission was complete.
"This should do just fine," Grey Fox said smuggly as he dropped Peach's lifeless body. Then, he turned to Mario, who was still struggling to clean his face, and said, "Just business. Nothing personal."
And with that, he leapt through the stained glass window that shone over the entrance to the ballroom and was gone. Mario had cleaned up his face enough to see and crawled to Peach's side, clinging to hope beyond hope that she was okay.
"Peach," he managed to sputter, "Peach..."
But the Princess didn't respond. She simply lay there, the color of her rosy cheeks now turned to white ash, and her eyes now completely devoid and blank. Mario felt his heart start to bleed, and the memories he had of him and Peach together beginning to grow cold and lifeless. He then turned to Luigi. He, too, lay still, the sword still lodged in his skull and blood leaking onto the floor. It was a double blow that wounded Mario more painfully than any other wound he could have recieved.
As the reality of the moment sank in, Mario forced air into his lungs and roared out his rage...

Comments

Comments (5)

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luckylace222 on August 8, 2009, 10:24:50 AM

luckylace222 on
luckylace222WHOA! What intensity! O_O

aquaeevee on June 15, 2008, 2:59:28 PM

aquaeevee on
aquaeeveeinteresting. this sounds pretty darn good so far man.

darkyoshi555 on June 11, 2008, 10:03:36 AM

darkyoshi555 on
darkyoshi555I never thought Mario Bros could be so violent. That was interesting though. I liked it!

neodusk on January 4, 2008, 12:21:21 PM

neodusk on
neoduskThat was...interesting. The story's pretty interesting and I like the detail. I just thought it was strange to see the Mario Bros placed into such a serious story of murder. Good job overall.

I haven't written anything in months, but please read AS if you have the time! :P

CrimsonDot on January 4, 2008, 12:29:06 PM

CrimsonDot on
CrimsonDotThank you for your comment. And yes, I would appreciate constructive commentary, no matter how scathing they may be.
 
By the way, SixDigit has shown me alot of your artwork, and I have to say, you've got real talent. I may not agree with some of your jokes, but that's just me. You keep up the good work.

neodusk on January 4, 2008, 4:33:22 PM

neodusk on
neoduskThank you very much! I didn't realize that my jokes were controversial.

As far as constructive commentary goes, I think the first problem was the past tense vs. present tense. You start out with present and lead into past, which may be just a little confusing.

The rest is entirely my opinion and I'm not an expert on this or anything, so don't put all of your trust into what I say.

I think it would be better to establish a little more background to the characters before going into the story too much. It doesn't have to be a lot, but maybe provide more feeling and history for them so that the drama is more substantial. Heading into a (excuse the term) tragedy with with little insight on the characters' emotions and background makes the story feel a bit rushed. For example, it would be better to go more into depth of how Mario felt at the celebration and how he felt Peach's presence there so that his reaction to her death would be more real.

The sudden shift in the chapter's tone may also need some adjusting. I think it would've been better for Grey Fox's appearance to ease into the plot, rather than for him to suddenly show up and start killing people.

An example of another course that this story could have taken would be perhaps security could report that there was an uninvited guest wandering around and Mario tells them to get rid of him, and then the guard reports that the people sent to throw him out did not return, slowly building up to the point at which murder is attempted Mario's life. It would allow the reader to feel Mario's need to keep peace for Peach's special day but also the tension that something is going wrong and that something bad will happen.

I also think that moving focus from Mario to Grey Fox and vice versa creates an unneeded friction between the two. By being able to go into Grey Fox's mind and hear his thoughts, it takes away the mystery and danger that he holds as the murderer. Perhaps through conversation his background and purpose could be gradually revealed or perhaps by some other means. Another possibility would be to rework the chapter entirely and simply tell the entire scenario through his eyes instead.

But, I don't want to ruin your fun by letting all of these things in the way. Just write what you think feels right and don't let anything I say get in the way of your drive. This is all entirely one person's opinion.

Thanks again! :P

CrimsonDot on January 5, 2008, 3:44:22 AM

CrimsonDot on
CrimsonDotAgain, thank you.