Chapter 3 - Episode Three

---------------Intro-----------------------[br]
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Robotnik: If you have a problem.[br]
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Image of Robotnik yelling at a hoodlum.[br]
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Robotnik: You can call me![br]
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Several images are played in the next line.[br]
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Robotnik: You are the father! You are not the father! You need to have love and understanding! Hey, you don’t bring that trash onto my show![br]
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Image of Man running with a pocketknife toward Robotnik.[br]
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Robotnik: Hey! You get off my stage![br]
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Image of Security dragging man off stage.[br]
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Man revealing he peeps on women.[br]
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Robotnik: *disgusted face* Snooping as usual I see. *shakes head sadly*[br]
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Camera closes up on Doctor Robotnik face.[br]
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Robotnik: Welcome, to the Doctor Robotnik show.[br]
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Camera fades to black.[br]
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Audience: Pingas! Pingas! Pingas! Pingas! Pinags![br]
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----------------Greetings------------------[br]
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Camera zooms in on the good doctor.[br]
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Robotnik: Greetings, world, and welcome to The Doctor Robotnik show. The show where I try to help couples and families solve disputes. Because all they need is love and compassion. Now tonight we have three slots to fill! Tonight we have “Say Good Night To The Bad Guy” (an image of the Tails Doll with a halo over its head), “A BIG Problem” (Big is shown eating burgers) , and “Who‘s Your Daddy?” (an image of Rouge with a baby and black outlines of four men standing around her with a question mark).[br]
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Camera zooms out a little.[br]
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Robotnik: Now, world, I’ll have my first guess after a word from our sponsor.[br]
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Fades to commercial.[br]
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---------------Commercial----------------[br]
Robotnik is seen standing in a ghost town.[br]
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Robotnik: Hello, I am Doctor Ivo Robotnik. You may know me from my talk show, “The Dr Robotnik Show.” On the show I talk a lot about issues, drama and problems. I can usually fix them or get an ending result. But there’s one problem I can’t fix myself. YOU have to fix it.[br]
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Camera zooms out, the ghost town grows bigger into a metropolis - however, the streets are void.[br]
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Robotnik: Do you recognize this city? No. You should. It’s the great city of FanArtCentral! Do you notice something strange? I do. The streets of this huge city are empty. Almost completely void of residents. There once was a time, back in 2005 when this city was booming with life. Citizens were all over. But now - now it is not. This city was known for it’s influential pop-culture attitude, some better than other. But now look at it. Vacant! Little advertisement and little hope for its survival. The mayor just may wipe it out all together![br]
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Camera zooms back in.[br]
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Robotnik: And personally, this city means a lot to me. This is the original spot were I put up my studio and filmed my first show! [br]
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Esshole walks in and puts one hand of Robotnik’s left shoulder.[br]
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Esshole: There is little hope for FanArtCentral’s survival. People are leaving from boredom, lack of social life; because of the their friends leaving, and due to the lack of comments people make on other arts - whether it be a drawing or a story.[br]
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Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician walks in and puts one hand on Robotnik’s right shoulder.[br]
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Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician : Now, I myself have been living here since 2005. I love it here, and I still do. And I admit, my work has been getting less and less comments everyday, especially my stories. I have seen many of my wonderful friends leave, even when I wasn't there to tell them goodbye. I hope one day FanArtCentral can return to the way it used to be.[br]
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Robotnik: Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician has even contemplated leaving himself. Esshole once left, back in 2006, when he was ANIMATIONmaster - he has come back. Now, hopefully, you wondering, “What can I do?” Well, there are a few things you could do;[br]
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1. If you know someone who is planning to leave, or just simply came across their profile. Spam him with “Please don’t leave!” Messages. Try to convince him or her to stay. If one goes, the flood gate opens. Especially if they’re popular.[br]
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2. Comment on people’s art. Whether their an artist or a writer comments are essential. Artist and writers are the life blood of FanArtCentral and all they ask for payment is a critique for their efforts. Whether your comment is a compliment or constructive criticism your word brings up their morale and want to stay. Look for a random picture or story and comment on it.[br]
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3. Make friends! When someone new buys a piece of property in FanArtCentral the first thing you should do is drop a “Welcome to FAC” line on them. Maybe they’ll become your friend. If they do they want to stay, and make art. Even if they’re not new it’s always nice to drop by and give a random hello. Spark a conversation and keep them interested in FAC. Without friends there’s no point in a social/art site.[br]
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4. Make art! Do some drawing for FAC; what ever your fandom is. True, you may not be the best artist, that’s one of the point of this site. To improve! And if you can’t draw then write. By adding to FAC you might bring in a few more tourists.[br]
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5. Finally, advertise! If you are an artist or writer. Then you know some of the folly not having people comment your art or story. There’s one thing that’ll pump up some hype, advertise! Tell people about your creation. Or else they won’t know it exists. Especially, if it’s a piece of literature.[br]
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Robotnik: Please, do so. Only with your help can FanArtCentral can be saved![br]
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------------Slot 1 - Say Goodnight To The Bad Guy------------------[br]
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Fade in to the show.[br]
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Robotnik: Welcome back. Now let me introduce my guest, a much feared being. And tonight he’s hear to show that he not such a bad guy. Ladies and gentlemen, The Tails Doll![br]
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The lights go out and eerie music is played, Can You Feel The Sunshine playing backwards. The lights come back on and the music stops. There, beside the doctor, sits The Tails Doll.[br]
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Robotnik: Ahem. So, how are you, Mister Doll?[br]
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The Doll sits there.[br]
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Robotnik: Uh . . . Can you talk?[br]
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The light on the Doll’s head blinks.[br]
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Robotnik: Well, I hate to tell you this, Mister Tails Doll; I can’t do a talk show if you can’t, you know, talk![br]
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The Doll’s light glows blood red, a man in the audience stands – his eyes pitch black. He walks onto stage and confronts the doctor.[br]
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Slave: I am the Tails Doll’s slave! He is my master. I will voice for him! All hail the great Tails Doll![br]
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Robotnik: *Raising an eyebrow* Very well, then. *Back to Tails Doll* So, why are you here, tonight?[br]
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Slave: All living mortals must realize that I am not evil![br]
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Robotnik: You say you are not evil?[br]
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Slave: No. They simply do not understand my work.[br]
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Robotnik: Your work? Like eating someone’s soul?[br]
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Slave: Yes.[br]
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Robotnik: But you’re eating their souls. You don’t consider that evil?[br]
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Slave: If a lion eats a zebra, do you consider him evil?[br]
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Robotnik: You’re eating the souls of people![br]
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Slave: Hey, I got to eat.[br]
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Robotnik: YOU’RE A DOLL! Why do you need to eat?[br]
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Slave: . . . Uh, you – you just can’t understand.[br]
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Robotnik: Obviously not. Okay, Tails Doll, let me ask you a few questions, a quiz.[br]
Slave: Fine.[br]
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Robotnik: Alright, say a man accidently spilled a coke on you, what do you do?[br]
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Slave: Why I’d take that mortal and a knife and slit his throat – draining his blood allover the ground roll in for my bath and praise Darko, The King Of Hell, for my blessed sacrife![br]
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Robotnik: *Eyes widen*[br]
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Slave: Uh . . . I mean, er, I’d ask him to give me a quarter . . . so I can go to the nearest, uh, laundry mat and get out the stain. Thus, you know, forgiving his foolishness.[br]
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Robotnik: *Eyes still wide*[br]
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Slave: Heheh . . . praise Jesus![br]
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Robotnik: Yeah . . . Okay, I’m going to say a few words and I want you to give me the first word that pops into your head.[br]
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Slave: Okay.[br]
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Robotnik: Love.[br]
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Slave: Hate![br]
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Robotnik: Friends.[br]
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Slave: Minions![br]
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Robotnik: Earth.[br]
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Slave: Global Domination![br]
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Robotnik: In-laws?[br]
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Slave: Kill![br]
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Robotnik: *Serious look on face* Puppies?[br]
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Slave: Road-Kill![br]
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Robotnik: Jesus?[br]
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Slave: Enemy![br]
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Robotnik: *Roll eyes* . . .[br]
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Slave: I mean, friend.[br]
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Robotnik: *Sighs* Okay, let’s try this. *Holds up ink blob* What do you see?[br]
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Slave: I see a military of communist attacking American citizens at random. Tanks firing at buildings; knocking them down. Behind is a great blaze on the wall of China! And I, The Tails Doll, sit on a throne placed on the highest pyramid, with a crown made of the most expensive jewels and laugh manically at my greatest work, World War Three![br]
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Robotnik: *Looking at the blob at many different angles*[br]
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Slave: . . . And by that, I mean I see a kitty.[br]
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Robotnik: *Throws picture behind him* You are not passing this test.[br]
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Slave: . . . Okay, okay. Give me one more test; I’ll prove I’m not evil.[br]
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Robotnik: Okay. *Holds up cross to Tails Doll* What do you think of this?![br]
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Tails Doll hisses and vanishes in a cloud of smoke. The man collapses on set.[br]
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Robotnik: I got to stop inviting the paranormal to my show. We’ll have more after this![br]
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--------------------------Commercial-------------------------[br]
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-----------------Slot 2 - A BIG Problem-----------------------[br]
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Robotnik: And now, introducing my next guest, Big T. Cat![br]
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Big walks out from backstage, and tiredly walks over and sits by Robotnik.[br]
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Robotnik: Hello Big, now do you know why you are on my show today?[br]
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Big: OOH! My buddies told me I was here because we were gonna have a party! With lots of food![br]
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Robotnik: Hmm... I'm sorry to say, Big, but there's no food here.[br]
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Big: *stands, but tiredly sits down again* What?! B-b-but they said there would be food here! *eyes tear up*[br]
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Robotnik: That was just a lie to get you to come on the show. The real reason is your weight Big.[br]
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Big: My weight?[br]
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Robotnik: Your friends put you on here to discuss your weight issues with you.[br]
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Big: Wait.. is this one of those Invention things?[br]
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Robotnik: Invention? Do you mean "Intervention?"[br]
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Big: Yeah!... Wait! They're gonna put me on a diet! *gets up and slowly runs away*[br]
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The security guards close and lock the doors, as Amy, Cream, Tikal, Sonic and Tails walk on stage, from the audience.[br]
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Sonic: *puts a hand on Big's shoulder* Big, we're here to help you. You're eating too much![br]
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Big: No I'm not!!... *looks around and at his shoulder* Where's Froggy?[br]
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Tails: YOU ATE HIM![br]
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Big: I did?[br]
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Tikal: Yes. Sadly you did. Which also presents another problem. Big... you ate your best friend out of hunger.[br]
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Big: No.. I'd never hurt Froggy.[br]
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Cream: Wait?...So Mr. Big ate Froggy? *starts to tear up*[br]
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Amy: No! He just err...well... Mr. Froggy's in a better place Cream.[br]
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Cream: *starts to cry*[br]
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Tails: *sadly looks at Cream and gives her a hug*[br]
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Audience: Awwwwwwww...[br]
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Robotnik: Please Big. Take your seat again, so your friends can help you..[br]
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Big:... *sighs and sits back down*[br]
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Tikal: Big, we love you. And we just want to keep you safe. But you're constantly eating and eating. You need to slim down, otherwise you'll... *glances at Cream, then back at Big* "go away."[br]
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Cream: Mr. Big. We were partners before and we still are. I don't want that to change.[br]
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Big: *looks at her, a bit teary eyed*[br]
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Amy: Same here. Big, we had fun in Sonic Heroes, and we don't want to lose you. You're our friend..[br]
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Big:.....[br]
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Sonic: We care about you dude. We can't stand watching you doing this to yourself... please... you need to diet..[br]
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Big: Diet...?[br]
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Tails: I typed out this for you.. *hands him a piece of paper with dieting instructions, as well as workout*[br]
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Big: *reads it silently* .....Salad, less sodium intake. Less sugars?[br]
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Tails: *nods*[br]
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Cream: It sounds icky, but you'll feel and look a lot better when it's over..[br]
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Robotnik: So.. Big... will you listen to them?[br]
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Big:... *lets tears fall* Yes![br]
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*They all give him a big(no pun intended) hug*[br]
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????????: STOP! *A powerful women's voice boomed out of the audience. Everyone turns and looks, revealing it to be Roseanne.[br]
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Roseanne: You insects! You think being overweight is ugly and hideous?! It isn't![br]
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?????: YEAH! *Everyone turns toward this man's voice, revealing it to be Chris Farley* You tell 'em Rosie![br]
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*Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson walk in from backstage*[br]
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Big: Whoa, what's going on?[br]
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Robotnik: Wow! This is a surprise! Peter Griffin of Family Guy and Homer Simpson in the same room![br]
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Audience: *cheers wildly*[br]
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Peter: You shouldn't let your weight keep you down, Big.[br]
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Homer: True! We're two of the biggest guys in the industry. Quite literally.[br]
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Roseanne: HEY! Shut up you two! I was talking first! You insignificant rodents think being fat is wrong? It's not! Look at me!! I'm overweight and I'm very succesful![br]
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Chris: Right on![br]
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????: She is right guys. *John Goodman walks out from backstage, cracks his knuckles, then crosses his arms, standing quite intimidatingly*[br]
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Robotnik: Hmm.. these people do have a point..[br]
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Sonic: Yeah, but Big can..."go away" if he gets any bigger![br]
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John Goodman: Think weight is going to kill you? Hell, I'm fat and a BIG alcoholic. I'm 57 years old and I'm kicking and kicking wildly.[br]
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Roseanne: And besides., it's not like he's going to go away anytime soon.[br]
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Big: .....[br]
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Robotnik: Well Big.. this is your decision.. Are you going to lose weight, or not?[br]
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Big: Well....*He was cut off by heavy footsteps coming from backstage. The Big Show walked out to loud cheers and whistles*[br]
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Robotnik: So many celebrities! Welcome all![br]
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Big Show: I'm big. And I know how dangerous it is to be big, but I don't let it get to me.[br]
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Big: *looks up at him, thinking*...[br]
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Big Show: But this is your decision anyway.[br]
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Big:...It is..[br]
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Big Show: But what's a life worth living if you don't enjoy it?[br]
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Amy: He won't like the diet, but once it's over he'll enjoy life to his fullest![br]
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Tails: He will. And he'll be able to do so much more, once his weight is gone.[br]
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Cream: *looking up at Big* Please lose weight Mr. Big...*teary eyed*[br]
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Big:...*tears up* Okay.. I'll do it for you guys.[br]
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*Once again, they all give him a big hug*[br]
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Robotnik: Well isn't that a sight to see. *smiles* We'll be back with more later.[br]
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----------------Commercial------------------[br]
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Roseanne is seen.[br]
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Roseanne: Hello, I’m Roseanne Barr. I’d like to say that I understand the idea of weight loss and do respect those who lose weight for health. But I’d like to say this too. Being fat is not a crime! And just because someone is fat doesn’t make them weak or ugly. What is ugly is the way you treat others. And if you do put someone down for their weight I’ll hunt you down and make your life a living hell![br]
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---------------Slot 3 - Who‘s Your Daddy?--------------[br]
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Robotnik: Welcome back. At this time we have a truly serious issue. A young lady has had sexual intercourse with more than four men in two nights! Nine months later she had a little baby girl named Katie. Now she eight months old and fatherless. Each man she slept with claims that they are not the father. Rouge had this to say.[br]
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Rouge on appears on screen her head down, almost crying from anger.[br]
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Rouge: I have a daughter. I young eight month old littler girl named Katie. Sadly, I don’t know who the father is. Sonic? Shadow? Tails? Knuckles? None of them will stand up to take the plate. None of them have the balls to fess up and be a man. They won’t admit that they might be the father. I am here to find out who’s the daddy and when I do the man who impregnated me better do his job and help support his kid![br]
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Robotnik: Sounds like a woman who knows what she wants. *Coughs* Here she is Rouge The Bat![br]
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Rouge walks out. Audience both cheers and boos. Rouge sits beside Robotnik.[br]
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Robotnik: Hello, Ms. Rouge.[br]
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Rouge: Hello.[br]
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Robotnik: So tell us; are you certain one the four men you slept with the father?[br]
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Rouge: I’m damn sure. And one of these, so called, ‘men’ better step up.[br]
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Robotnik: *Rubs chin* I see . . . So, who do you hope the father is?[br]
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Rouge: *Sighs* Well, Tails is smart and all that, he’s making things all the time. Could be useful, you know. Knuckles has that big @$$ gem, he could sell that and get a house by the beach. Shadow seems like a type of guy who’d defend his family and have honor and all that jazz. And Sonic is a really a good guy. Hmm . . . All things considered, Knuckles.[br]
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Robotnik: I see. We asked the men what they thought and this is what they came up with.[br]
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Screen plays video. A black and white video of the character is played on each of their own line.[br]
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Shadow: Rouge claims that I’m the father of her child . . .[br]
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Knuckles: . . . She’s wrong.[br]
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Sonic: There’s no way I could be that kid’s dad![br]
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Tails: I mean look at me![br]
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Knuckles: This is just a lie.[br]
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Tails: That kid’s father is someone else.[br]
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Shadow: I don’t know who it may be.[br]
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Sonic: But one thing is for certain; I am NOT . . .[br]
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Shadow: NOT . . .[br]
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Knuckles: NOT . . .[br]
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Tails: NOT THE FATHER![br]
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Video fades out on Tails. Robotnik sitting in his chair.[br]
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Robotnik: Well, they all seem sure of themselves. Sonic T. Hedgehog, Shadow T Hedgehog, Knuckles T. Echidna and Miles T. Prower; come on down![br]
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They all walk out and thunderous boos of the audience. They sit in the chairs.[br]
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Robotnik: So, none of you think you’re the father?[br]
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Knuckles: Hell, no! Look at the kid, doesn’t look a damn thing like more, or any of the other guys![br]
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Robotnik: Hypothetically speaking what if you are?[br]
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Knuckles: I’m not. But if I were, then I’ll treat it like my own.[br]
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Robotnik: Fine. Shadow?[br]
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Shadow: Even if I’m genetically the father she isn’t my daughter! I won’t look after her, I won’t be there for Christmas and if she died, I won’t be there for the funeral.[br]
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Audience: BOOOO!!!! You suck!!!! PINGAS! PINGAS! PINGAS![br]
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Shadow: What the frack ever. I bet half of you don’t even know your own father, do you? Bunch of trailer-trash red necks![br]
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Robotnik: You don’t insult the audience, you hear me! I’ll throw your @$$ out![br]
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Audience: PINGAS! PINGAS! PINGAS![br]
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Robotnik: *Settles back in chair* Now, Sonic, what if the child is yours?[br]
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Sonic: I don’t believe the kid is mine. I’ll hate to be father. But if I am, then I’ll accept it. I’ll love and support her.[br]
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Robotnik: Good answer. What about you Miles?[br]
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Tails: Call me Tails. And I don’t think it’s a matter of, “if I am,” I just now hit puberty. I don’t think I can be the father.[br]
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Robotnik: Fair enough. *Robotnik signals a guard over. Guard hands him a piece of paper* I have the lab results for the paternity test. We’ll found out who’s the father, right now! *Reads* In the case of eight month old Katie, Shadow, you are not the father![br]
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Shadow: *Smiles and nods* I knew it.[br]
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Rouge: Thank God![br]
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Shadow: *Smiles* You know, it’d be a lot easier to tell who the father is if you’d take ONE DICK AT A TIME![br]
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Rouge: Go to hell, Shadow![br]
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Robotnik: In the case of eight month old Katie, Knuckles, you are not the father![br]
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Knuckles: Yeah! *Jumps up* Yeah, that’s right! All of you can suck it![br]
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Rouge: Damn it![br]
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Robotnik: Two down, two more to go. In the case of eight month old Katie, Sonic, you are not the father![br]
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Sonic: *Wipes sweat from head* Shoo.[br]
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Everyone stares at Tails. Tails eyes widen, sweat rains from his face. A dead silence feels the warm. Tails heart could be heard pounding.[br]
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Robotnik: In the case of eight month old Katie, Tails, you are the father![br]
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Tails: What?! No! No! No![br]
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Rouge: Yes! Yes! Yes! And you’re going to be helping big time, buddy.[br]
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Robotnik: Well, this has been a very interesting turn of events. But that is how life is. Join us next episode! This is The Doctor Robotnik Show![br]
[br]
--------------------------Commercial-------------------------[br]
[br]
Vince Offer is seen promoting the Slap Chop.[br]
[br]
Vince Offer: Watch this, you’re gonna love my nuts![br]
[br]
????????: THERE YOU ARE![br]
[br]
Zombie Billy Mays is shown.[br]
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Vince Offer: Oh, shoot! *Runs off*[br]
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Zombie Billy Mays: GET YOUR @$$ BACK HERE! *Runs after him*[br]
---------------Ending------------------------[br]
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Fade to black and fades to Robotnik[br]
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Robotnik: Remember, if YOU have a problem and need to contact us, please email us at either: animationmaster2@yahoo.com or anthony_against_the_world@yahoo.com. Please tell us the problem, the characters involved, and the characters to appear.[br]
[br]
(You can also give us your OC's and we'll put em in.)[br]
[br]
--------------Credits------------------[br]
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Intro: Esshole and Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician[br]
Greetings: Esshole[br]
Slot 1: Esshole[br]
Commercial 1: Esshole and Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician[br]
Slot 2: Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician[br]
Commercial 2: Esshole[br]
Slot 3: Esshole[br]
Commericial 3: Esshole[br]
Commercial4: Esshole[br]
Ending: Link_The_Hedgehog_Magician[br]
Credits: Esshole

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