Chapter 13 - Frighten

“He won’t take it,” Jake heard Trixie speak as he sat silently on the other side of the hospital room watching his feet with little interest.

“He can sense that you’re anxious. If you just relax-” the nurse was cut off.

“I am relaxed!” Trixie snapped at her. She had been attempting to breastfeed the newest member of their small family, but it wasn’t going well. Trixie was angry, but for the first time that Jake could remember, she seemed shy about letting him know it. She had said not one single word to him all morning. Jake then heard Trixie sigh before she spoke again, her voice sounding defeated. “Could you just take him away, please,” she asked of the nurse, who nodded as she reached out for the fussing child in Trixie’s arms.

After the nurse left, Jake raised his head to catch Trixie slipping her hospital gown back onto her shoulder. He stood from his seat and went to stand beside her. “Trix,” he spoke softly. Trixie simply shook her head; she didn’t want to hear it. “I’m sorry,” he offered.

She scoffed and quickly turned her head to him. “You’re not forgiven,” she stated angrily. “You purposely ignored my calls!”

“I was angry,” he replied heatedly. “You hung up in my face.”

“That’s because you're always lying to me,” she argued.

“No,” Jake shook his head. “I have never lied to you,” he made clear.

“Then tell me where you were last night and what the hell you were doing,” she demanded of him. Jake lowered his eyes and pursed his lips together. “Yeah,” she whispered. “You’ve never lied to me.”

“Trixie. . .” he wanted to explain, but he didn’t know how.

“I was scared,” she admitted, no longer looking at him. “I needed you.”

Jake sat down on the bed. “I know. I wasn’t thinking. It just never occurred to me that. . . I’m sorry,” he offered again and this time Trixie nodded slowly, accepting his apology.

“We should,” Trixie began, but then stop to clear her throat. “We should probably name the baby,” she said, once again looking at Jake.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “What do you think it should be?” he asked.

Trixie sat in silence for a moment as she regarded Jake and then said softly. “I want to name him after his father.”

After her words, Trixie watched as Jake’s eyes left her for a moment, his expression one she didn’t easily recognize. He then smiled at her. “Arthur is a fine name,” he agreed.

“I wasn’t talking about Spud,” she informed him. “I meant you.”

Jake's eyes went wide. “Oh – uh, Trix,” he shook his head from side to side. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” she asked, her brow furrowed.

Jake thought over his word before he began, “Because if it were me in Spud’s shoes and I came back to find my only son named after another man, if would feel like you didn’t believe in me. As if you didn’t think I was coming back.” He shook his head. “I don’t want Spud to feel like that.”

Trixie smiled at him. “Jake, you’re just not some other man. You’re his best friend and chances are, if he were still here, Jacob would have been the first name on Spud’s list anyway.”

“Please,” Jake didn’t want to argue with her, “just pick another name.”

“Fine,” she agreed, feeling a little bitter towards Jake, as if her son wasn’t worthy another to share his name. “Yesterday, I was calling him Jerry, short for Jeremiah,” she explained.

“Jeremiah Long,” Jake said it to himself to see how it sounded. “Jeremiah Lorenzo Long.”

“Lorenzo?” Trixie questioned.

The man beside her shrugged. “I’ve just always liked the name.”

“I like it too,” she agreed.

After everything was settled at the hospital Jake and Trixie were able to take little Jerry home. The second day back, Jake had been changing Jerry for the first time when he spotted something very peculiar. “Trix,” he had called her from the kitchen to Jerry’s bedroom where he was changing him.

“What? I’m busy,” she had told him as she had been preparing dinner for them.

“Just come here,” her replied. Soon Trixie walked into the room and stood beside Jake in front of the changing table. She looked asking of him. “What does this look like to you?” he asked as he pointed something out on Jerry’s bottom.

Trixie rolled her eyes, not believing he had asked such a question. “It’s called a birthmark, Jake.”

Jake looked irritated with her. “I know what it is,” he made clear, “but what does it look like?”

Trixie, who was wearing her hair down, swept a piece of it behind her ear as she studied the mark. “Idaho,” she finally answered. “What about it?” she asked, but when she didn’t receive an immediate response she turned to Jake, who had don a hard looking expression with a touch of confusion. “Jake?” Trixie lightly touched his arm.

He then closed his eyes and shook his head as if trying to push something out of his mind. Then without looking at her he started to finish changing Jerry’s diaper. “Yeah, that’s what I thought to,” he informed her.

“Okay,” she drawled, not really sure what had been his purpose for the question in the first place. “I’m going to go finish dinner. Do you want tea or kool-aid?” she asked.

“Kool-aid,” he answered her as he buttoned up Jerry’s onesie.

“Flavor?” she asked when she paused at the door.

“Red,” he replied without hesitation. He then picked Jerry into his arms and look at Trixie as if expecting her to argue that ‘red’ wasn’t a flavor.

She only smiled at him. “Okay.”

Jake looked at her as if he was bit disappointed. “So we’ll argue for two hours about Grits and Cream of Wheat, but the flavor red is okay?”

“Yes,” she answered with a nod. “Because whether you say red or cherry, it’s the same thing.”

“Exactly, just like hot cereal,” Jake pointed out.

“No,” she simply said and disappeared down the hall.

Jake then looked at the child in his arms as he followed Trixie to the other end of their home. “They’re the same,” he whispered as he received a toothless smile from Jerry.


It had been nearing two weeks since Jerry was born and things at home were starting to become far from peaceful as the couple adjusted to the small child. Jake discovered that Trixie was easily agitated when she couldn’t get Jerry to do what she wanted like breastfeed or sleep. She cringed whenever he cried, passing him off to Jake as soon as Jerry began his tantrums.

There were even days here and there where Jake couldn’t even recall if she had held her son at all. Jake didn’t want to say anything to her about it, but he was tired of being the only one waking up in the middle of a night to sooth Jerry back to sleep. Tired of seeing to Jerry by himself all day, while Trixie refused to leave their bed. But there was only so much he felt he could do on his own and soon his frustration began to grow until it reached the point where he told Trixie exactly what was on his mind.

Their argument had not quiet or playful as their debate about hot cereal had been. Jake knew their raising voices could be heard through the walls of their apartment complex, but at this point he didn’t care. He felt unappreciated and taken advantage of by her. She didn’t know what he was risking to make sure that she and Jerry where taken of. If the Dragon Council found out what he was up to. . .

“Do not tell me how to take care of my son!” Trixie yelled at Jake as she stood in front of the television in the living room.

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have to if you got off your @$$ sometimes and saw to him!” he yelled back from behind the sofa as he gripped it firmly, not realizing in his anger his human form was slipping and that his claws were shredding into the sofa material.

“All he does is cry. What do you want me to do?” she asked, her voice just as angry.

“He’s a baby, of course he’s going to cry, Trixie. Comfort him!”

“It doesn’t help. He doesn’t like me,” she told him.

Jake scoffed. “Of course not,” he began, his voice calmer, but cynical. “He probably doesn’t know who the hell you are.” Trixie’s mouth fell open as she silently gasped at Jake’s words. Then, as if on que, the sound of Jerry crying reached their ears. Jake looked at Trixie expectantly, but she merely hugged herself and lowered her head downward. Jake looked at her disgustingly as he shook his head before he walked out the living room and down to Jerry’s room.

“Shh.” Jake picked up the crying baby and rocked him gently in his arms. He then reached back into the crib and picked up the blue pacifier that was there. He blew off a piece of the lint that had settled on it before trying to place it in Jerry’s mouth, who at first resisted it. “Come on, don’t you want your nip-nip?” he asked Jerry, before he eventually took it.

Jake walked in circles around the room until he noticed Jerry’s eyelids become heavy with sleep once again. He then placed him back in his crib on his back. Jerry yawned, letting the pacifier fall from his mouth. Jake then covered his body with a blanket before resting on the railing of the crib and simply watching as Jerry sleep. His eyes then caught the pillow, which was located on the other end of the crib. He reached for it and then, in the next moment, all he could hear was screaming. “Jake, stop please!” It was Trixie. She had attached herself to his arm and was pulling him with everything she had. Tears ran down her face as she cried. “Stop it! Stop it!” she begged. “Please!”

Jake was horribly confused as he noticed he was leaning over Jerry’s crib. He then noticed he was still holding the pillow, but gripping it firmly with both hands. He then heard a muffled crying noise. It took Jake a slit moment to register that he was holding the pillow against Jerry’s face and that he was suffocating him. But then, to his horror, he couldn’t stop himself and instead pushed even harder down on it. “You’re killing him!” Trixie told him as she desperately tired to pull Jake away. She then did the only thing she could think of and socked her husband clear across the face with fist.

“shoot! Ow!” Jake yelled from the floor as he covered his eye with his hand. Then, the reason he was sitting on the floor quickly rushed to him as he realized there was no sound coming from the crib. “Oh, my God,” he whispered as he looked up at Trixie, who was reaching into the crib and picking up Jerry, who looked so still in her arms. “Is he already?” Jake asked.

Trixie said nothing at first as she looked over Jerry as she placed him on the changing table, placing her back towards Jake. “He’s not breathing,” she whispered to herself. She wanted to panic, but she knew if she did that it wouldn’t be any help to her son.

The young mother slightly tilted the boy’s head back, knowing that an infant’s airway was extremely narrow and that overextending the neck would actually close off his air passage. She then covered Jerry’s mouth and nose with her own mouth, creating a seal, before she gave a quick and gentle puff from her cheeks. She then slightly pulled back, letting Jerry exhale on his own as she watched his chest and listened for breathing. He wasn’t.

Trixie told herself to calm down, but she couldn’t help the tears that rained down on Jerry’s face as she repeated her actions. “Please, breathe for mommy,” she pleaded with him as she checked his breathing again. Then after was felt like eternity, Jerry began to cry. Trixie thanked God as she scooped him into her arms and held him just a little tighter than she should have.

“Trixie. . .” she was startled to see that Jake had been standing by her side, she hadn’t noticed him there.

Trixie took a step back from Jake, her eyes turning red from her crying. “What where you doing?” she asked of him. “What the frack where you doing!” she yelled.

Jake could now feel his own tears slid down his face. “I don’t know,” he said truthfully as he couldn’t even remember actually picking up the pillow in the first place. He took a step towards his family. “Trixie, I-”

“Don’t touch him,” she ordered as Jake had tried to reach out for him.

“It was an accident,” he tried to explain. “I would never-”

“You tried to kill him.” She looked at Jerry in her arms, his lips slightly blue.

“No!” he yelled. “That’s not what I was- I didn’t mean it.”

Trixie looked back up at Jake. “You didn’t see your face.” She then nodded her head. “You meant it. It was in your eyes.”

“Baby girl,” he slowly etched forward before reaching out and taking a hold of her face. “Look into my eyes now,” he instructed. “I don’t know what happened, but I swear it was an accident and that it won’t happen again, okay?” Trixie only looked at him. “Say, okay, Trixie. . . please.”

“You just stood there,” she said.

“What?” Jake was confused.

“You stood there and you watched,” she began. “Did you even think to call 9-1-1? Did you want to watch him die!” she searched his eyes for an answer.

“Of course not,” he told her. “I just. . . couldn’t move. I got up and I stood next to you and all I could do was watch. My mind told me that I should call for help,” he closed his eyes as his hand fell back to his side, “but I just couldn’t move.”

“What happened?” she asked softly.

“I don’t know. I was just putting him to bed and then next thing I knew you were yelling at me and I was- I was,” he shook his head, not want to put words to what he had done.

“You’re tired, Jake,” she continued. “You should get some sleep.” Jake didn’t argue with her. He just simply nodded his head and walked out of the room to prepare for a shower before he would head to bed.

After his shower and in his nightclothes for the evening, Jake made his way to the kitchen to take a glass of water into the bedroom with him. Trixie was in the living room with Jerry. She had been singing the tune to ABC alongside one of his toys, but fell silent when Jake entered the room.

As Jake was heading back out of the kitchen there came a knock at the front door and just as Jake was beginning to wonder who it could be, his question was answered. “Police, open up.”

Suddenly, Jake felt his chest tighten before he turned to look at Trixie. “Did you call-”

“No,” she said quickly to his unfinished question.

Jake then placed his glass down on an end table and made his way to the door. “Good evening, Officers,” he greeting the two people outside his door. “What can I do you for?”

“Yes, we received a call about a domestic disturbance from this residence,” one of the officers informed him.

“Uh-” Jake began nervously. He then cleared his throat began again. “I’m sorry, but you’re mistaken. It must have been a prank call.”

The other officer noticing the ring on Jake’s finger than asked, “Is your wife home, sir?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Can we speak to her?” she asked.

“Yeah.” Jake opened the door wider to reveal Trixie still sitting on the sofa in the living room. “Trix, can you come here, please?” he called her over.

“Actually, I would prefer to speak to her inside,” she female officer asked of him.

“Of course.”

Jake allowed her in and was about to follow her inside when the other officer spoke telling him he wanted to speak to him outside. Jake frowned as the door to his home was closed and he was left on the other side of it. The officer than asked him a series of questions, which he was only half paying attention to. All he could wonder was if by the end of this conversation would he be arrested.

When the door opened again and the officer stepped out, she told her partner that everything was fine and the two went on their way. Jake then stepped back into his home. “I didn’t tell them anything,” Trixie made a point of saying.

“I know,” Jake’s voice was barely audible as he responded.

Trixie, now satisfied that Jerry was all right, went to put him back in his crib. After finishing his water, Jake went to check on her. He wanted to reassure her that what had happened would never happen again. He reached out for her and felt her entire body tense when their skink came in contact, a small bit of him die in that moment. “I’m sorry,” was all he found he could say. Trixie nodded, but didn’t turn to look at him.

Jake them quietly made his away across the hall and crumbled onto his bed. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He let out a heavy breath as he spoke to himself, “Aw, man.”

Jake couldn’t find sleep that night and not for the reasons one would think. His concerns were not on the child he almost killed, but they were completely on Trixie and her reaction to it. He didn’t like that look of fear on her face. He didn’t like her questioning eyes that asked, ‘Who are you?’ But then again, the fact that Jake wasn’t more concern about what he had done to Jerry left him. . . frighten.

To Be Continued. . .

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