Chapter 6 - Of realizations and regrets
Submitted October 2, 2007 Updated May 17, 2009 Status Incomplete | About the rather ordinary working days of Section 9. Chapter one: If anyone ever found out about this, Batou wouldn’t live to see the end of it.
Category:
Anime/Manga » Ghost in the Shell |
Chapter 6 - Of realizations and regrets
Chapter 6 - Of realizations and regrets
Well it has been some time, I guess.
Warnings: OOCness, angst, mentions of BatouxTogusa…and I don’t even get my own thoughts anymore…weird story…plus, there is a second part from Batou’s point of view.
This is supposed to be Togusa’s POV by the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter six
Of realizations and regrets; Part 1
There had been a time when every thing had been alright. When ‘they’ had been alright.
Back then they weren’t treading on thin ice. Weren’t in danger of falling, because the fragile ground was ready to cave in at any moment…if you so much as uttered a word or let out a too harsh breath.
Back then they had been happy. At least that is what Togusa liked to call it, because maybe this – what they had shared – couldn’t even be defined as a real relationship. Maybe it really was nothing more than working and sleeping together.
But he had been happy then. They had been happy…or hadn’t they?
Watching each others backs when facing live and death situations during missions, joking and laughing together when they didn’t have a case or had to catch up on the ever-present stack of paperwork. Talking about dreams, hopes, fears and old scars…
And although Togusa did most of the talking, the human could be sure that Batou would be listening. That he would try to understand.
Togusa remembers one time, when he got Batou to take a walk in the rain with him. Wandering aimlessly through the downpour. Listening to the heavy drops hitting the pavement as the world around them was drenched by the falling masses of water. It was then that Batou had quietly told him about his liking for rain, the way it made them more equal, more alike. Nature doesn’t distinguish between cyborgs and humans after all.
And Togusa had smiled.
But that had been a time when the Major was still with them, and now there wasn’t anything left. And it broke his heart.
And lately, the human catches himself more and more often blaming it all on Batou. Because had he ever really been more than a fleeting distraction for when Batou couldn’t be with ‘her’? For when the tall cyborg, that didn’t know emotions, suddenly realised that he felt lonely. And Togusa couldn’t shake the feeling that he served as merely a replacement.
But it wasn’t Batou’s fault, really. He had wanted it, too. Although he had had the feeling that this – whatever this is – would be a one-sided thing, he had still tried to gain the cyborg’s affection. Was drawn to him like a moth to the flame. And no matter how often Togusa told himself that it didn’t matter, it still hurt.
“And maybe…maybe,” Togusa thought “dreams weren’t really meant to come true. Maybe sometimes it is better if a dream remains a dream, for reality will never be able to live up to it.” Like the duplicate would never reach the original. Like he could never live up to the Major’s standarts.
And so he watches from afar as his dream is slowly eaten away by reality.
Because honestly,…who can dream forever?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope some of you liked it.
Warnings: OOCness, angst, mentions of BatouxTogusa…and I don’t even get my own thoughts anymore…weird story…plus, there is a second part from Batou’s point of view.
This is supposed to be Togusa’s POV by the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter six
Of realizations and regrets; Part 1
There had been a time when every thing had been alright. When ‘they’ had been alright.
Back then they weren’t treading on thin ice. Weren’t in danger of falling, because the fragile ground was ready to cave in at any moment…if you so much as uttered a word or let out a too harsh breath.
Back then they had been happy. At least that is what Togusa liked to call it, because maybe this – what they had shared – couldn’t even be defined as a real relationship. Maybe it really was nothing more than working and sleeping together.
But he had been happy then. They had been happy…or hadn’t they?
Watching each others backs when facing live and death situations during missions, joking and laughing together when they didn’t have a case or had to catch up on the ever-present stack of paperwork. Talking about dreams, hopes, fears and old scars…
And although Togusa did most of the talking, the human could be sure that Batou would be listening. That he would try to understand.
Togusa remembers one time, when he got Batou to take a walk in the rain with him. Wandering aimlessly through the downpour. Listening to the heavy drops hitting the pavement as the world around them was drenched by the falling masses of water. It was then that Batou had quietly told him about his liking for rain, the way it made them more equal, more alike. Nature doesn’t distinguish between cyborgs and humans after all.
And Togusa had smiled.
But that had been a time when the Major was still with them, and now there wasn’t anything left. And it broke his heart.
And lately, the human catches himself more and more often blaming it all on Batou. Because had he ever really been more than a fleeting distraction for when Batou couldn’t be with ‘her’? For when the tall cyborg, that didn’t know emotions, suddenly realised that he felt lonely. And Togusa couldn’t shake the feeling that he served as merely a replacement.
But it wasn’t Batou’s fault, really. He had wanted it, too. Although he had had the feeling that this – whatever this is – would be a one-sided thing, he had still tried to gain the cyborg’s affection. Was drawn to him like a moth to the flame. And no matter how often Togusa told himself that it didn’t matter, it still hurt.
“And maybe…maybe,” Togusa thought “dreams weren’t really meant to come true. Maybe sometimes it is better if a dream remains a dream, for reality will never be able to live up to it.” Like the duplicate would never reach the original. Like he could never live up to the Major’s standarts.
And so he watches from afar as his dream is slowly eaten away by reality.
Because honestly,…who can dream forever?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hope some of you liked it.
Comments
You are not authorized to comment here. Your must be registered and logged in to comment