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Chapter 5 - Feasting of the break with blueberry

my big sis has a umm...'interesting' imagination, but very funny

Chapter 5 - Feasting of the break with blueberry

Chapter 5 - Feasting of the break with blueberry
AhhhhAhhhh!!! I have done this sooo manytimes, SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. Now marching band/winter guard is over, and Iget to type on this letter-amplifying device once again, enjoy this chappie! ohh, and this short.
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" Iswear," I growled in a low rumble that would make even the bravest andboldest fall to their knees, " I will kill you as soon as I am able tounsheathe this small weapon of torturous death." With that I continued myway of attempting to unravel the magnificent device that would kill the personto whom I address.
 
A laugh from somewhere near thevicinity of the person I threatened was emitted. It wasn't the person I was threatening, of course, they were so terrified that they wereturning red in the face and struggling to with hold tears and bouts ofhysterical screams.
 
"Schmed," they quaveredout slowly.
 
Yes, my name is Schmed, don'tlaugh. I said don't laugh. Why do you aim at me these unforgiving tremors ofhappiness, do you not realize that your death come to you and the one whoquivers out my name?! Ohhhhh yes, now you are seeing things my way, you areterrified, yes, you are turning red in the face too. You are fighting off theimpulse to explode with hysterics. The scared kind, not theother kind that brings joy to little penguin munchkins, ohhh no. I havealmost completed my revealing of my secret weapon that shall be the demise ofyou all. Ohhh, the one who verbally addressed me is now crying in panic, unableto move from his sat, paralyzed with the fear of what I am about to do withhim.
 
"That," he staredpointing to my weapon, "is."
 
YES YES YES! Be afraid, so veryafraid of my doomsday device, point in fear of what shall soon be yourdemise!!!! Don't fight it! Flow with it! How much shoot would I be in if Iaddressed a cop as baby!?!?
 
"A,"
 
ohhhh, did youhear the amount of panic and hopelessness he put into the vowel right there? Ofcourse you didn't! This is a literary document, but still, if you were capableof hearing him right there, you would know that I truly fulfil the definitionof diablo! No, not the hot sauce, but the evil red guy, which sorta resembleswhat my friend is looking like right now. Yes, I have turned him into one of myown with just the threat of my ultimate weapon.
 
"Spork," he finished.
 
" And in thatlies the genius!" I erupt, springing from my seat, flailing the finallyunwrapped utensil around. "Lookit!" I shoutfrom all of the open commons to hear, holding it up to the light at a specificangle. " As you stare into its shiny goodness,you shall be blind, with only my face manifested into your mind! I did not meanto have a rhyme in that last sentence!" I holler, everyone staring at theSpork now, willing to be blind since they all would love to only remember myface forever once their eyes melt out of their sockets.
 
" WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT?!?!? I DO NOT HAVE A.D.D.!"
 
 
 
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Sorry for not updating for such along while, I hope this cheers you up ^^;;;;;
 
 
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            Thesun shone with an immaculate luster through the open window of the room,bathing it in warmth, comfort and light. AT that moment, Kodi's eyes snappedopen. Did he just wake up from a nightmare or something? No, he lived it, butthat's not what woke him so quickly. Kodi was just simply the morning type, andDominick hated it, especially school days. For the first few moments of consciousnesshe thought all of last night had been a dream, the bed was empty, with theexemption of himself. If it hadn't been for the stickinessof the sheets caused by the jiggy of the night before, he would have neverknown. Or at least wouldn't have thought it reality for five more seconds, forit was about five seconds later that he decided to get up and out on his merrylittle way. But as he sat up his @$$ felt terribly sore. Attempting to supporthimself by the means of his hands he swung himself over one of the two possiblesides of which he could get off of his bed from. Ok, there were actually threepossibilities, but no one gets out of bed from the bottom, well, not on purposeat least. Stepping off, he tripped over something large, warm, and startingwith a "K". Kyle had apparently fallen off during the night.
 
            Waddlingoff to the other side (why he got off the side of his bed furthest from thedoor? Well, he wanted a challenge) of the room, he again tripped over somethinglarge, warm, and starting with a "C". Chris must have tumbled off,and rolled across as much floor as his room held. Damn, it wasn't a dream then…Well, uh, maybe that telepathic guy who ordered him to run into the toiletfacility controlled them to, uh, spiral, good word, onto the floor of his room,and made him have a bad dream- and…and….and… Kodi tried to choke back a sob.Last night had happened, and would have happened no matter what he did torewind time and change it. Kodi was a hardcore fatalist, nothing could beprevented in his mind, and Kodi was always right… Finding clean clothes, andputting them on-obviously- he went on a search for something to make him thinkof something else, something nice and comforting… but what…. Snee! He couldmake him feel better! Last he saw his kitty, he was onthe coffee table in the lounging area.
 
            'Doeshe eat cat, dog, or human foods?' Kodi pondered, ' the others were eatingflowers, but there aren't going to be any now, washed away from last nightsstorm most likely.' Deciding what he should encounter on his hot new reality TV.show, "What do we feed Snee?" he entered the living room. He turned,and exited the living room. Looks as if Jason and Ran had a god time indeed.They were too cute; it made him sick, like care bears, too cute, too perfect, andtoo carefree. And what? Jason and Ran knew each other 90 seconds at most beforethey declared their reign together, not that it has to do with the rain thathas stopped falling outside, but when they started reigning it was raining, andtheir reign is still on, yet the rain outside obviously ran in terror from alonger word that is pronounced the same way, yet is very different that itself.…yeah… Wait a tick! He had to get Snee, no matter what may grace, with theprefix dis- in front of the word right before thisparenthical expression, or at least that’s what I think they call it, eitherway, it’s hard to pronounce… Anyway, shielding his eyes from whence he knewwhere the reigners were he looked on the coffee table and Snee was- not there?Kodi’s eyes grew in fear in a way that could only be depicted by a cartooncharacter, as he saw- or more correctly- didn’t seehis kitty on the tabletop. ‘Pllllllease say he didn’trun away,’ he groanily begged.
 
            Kodidoesn’t need to know foe another reason too, for we know Snee is with Dominick.Not only that, but it’s not like anyone right there is saying he ran away. Theywould think [/i]that the kitty was merelylost, not runned(1) away. In addition the only thing that they would saywould be,’ don’t worry, we’ll find him.’ Sadly none of this will be said,because that little telepathic boy who heard Chris’s cursing had lost his interestin helping Kodi. Even if he did help, nothing would be said, for that was whatKodi ‘please’-ed didn’t want to hear. All in all the little psychic boy was doing Kodi a semi-favor ifyou look at it sideways.
 
            ‘Let’ssee, is there anyone else who cares for my well being,’ Kodi wondered, tappinghis chin with his finger and leaning against the doorframe that separatedliving room from hallway, yet ignoring the no one and some one in front ofhim.’ Hold on- where’s Harper, Alex, and Kaylen!’ Hedidn’t feel their presence anywhere close by. Had Kyle intimidated them thatbadly? Was there more to Kyle than he originally though-------
 
            “ Wheeeeee!” Screamed a voice thatrang through the ghostly house.
 
            “ Sneeeeeeeee!” Sang another,whose voice was squeaky and, what the hell, kewt!
 
            Koditurned 180 degrees to face the stairwell, and immediately wished that hehadn’t. Instead he wished that he side, but whatever, curiosity massacred thefeline. In this case it was the feline (and brother) that massacred the boy.The boy in turn is the curiosity, and the massacre in question is more like aforceful knock onto the floor. Oh yes, and the feline is not technically a cat,but then again, it’s not technically anything, but it kind of looks like a cat…Use you imagination!
 
            InKodi’s fruitless attempt to dodge what had peaked his curiosity has only gottenhim turned another half-circle, ultimately resulting in him belly-flopping onhis tummy-wummy, and Dominick hugging the brother’sneck with his face temporarily implanted into Kodi’s cream-colored hair. Oh, andSnee was settling himself on Dominick’s buttocks.
 
            “Uhh,” Kodi brilliantly declared in stunned bewildermentright before the screaming“ EEeeee!!!” was shriekedby the recently waxed wooden floor in excitement as it joyfully rubbed way tooaffectionately against Kodi for his personal comfort. The wood got pissed thatKodi didn’t like it the same way it did him, so it flamed his face. No, notflaming him in this story by means of a comment, which I deeply appreciate itnot doing. It did flame Kodi in a rubbing burn though. But once you think aboutit rubbing lovingly and flaming to a wooden floor is essentially the samething. So even if the wood still liked Kodi or hated fact fully that Kodi darerub against it, the same result would have been preformed. (2) Second reason onhis list for the ‘um’ saying was the magnitude of his brother’s enthusiasm forit being so early in the day. The only reasonable explanation was that sincethere was no school on a scheduled school day he didn’t have to dread wakingup, and would be able to relinquish his pent up energy of joyfulness by risingfrom dream-land plenty early, taking a tumble down the stairs, and landing onthe living mattress of his little brother.
 
            “ Umpffne quilfohgboodie boodie boodwieeeeEeEeE!!!” came a muffled voice which arose frominside Kodi’s hair.
 
            “Kyle,where’s Kyle,” Snee translated, then taking as large a breath as it could, sothat he sort of looked like an over-inflated balloon before he let it out inthe next word of translation. Before the animal did this though, Kodi had aslight fear that Snee was actually going to float off of Dominick’s @$$ thoughKodi didn’t see Snee, but if he did, this is what he’d be thinking due to thevast amount of gas it had acquired through the process of breathing oxygen. Itwas then that he comprehended that if all the air around where Snee currentlywas was replaced by helium a breath that the deformedcreature took would probably lift him off of Dominick’s beautiful butt. Kodihumored himself for a moment as he imagined Snee’s naturally high-pitchedvoice, and what it would’ve sounded like if he had been under the influence ofhelium. The next word Snee spoke, however, disproved Kodi’s helium theory, forthe voice reverberating from Snee’s voice box was the same frequency as all theother words he had ever spoken… All five words that he had ever spoken… “ SNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!” he cried, excitement dripping likevenom from his level of enthusiasm.
 
            “Kyle?Up with the slut, alias Chris.” ‘hmm,’ He thoughtimmediately pondering of how he had just worded his sentence; he corrected itin his mind though. See?! English grammar! You really do use what you learnfrom school in everyday life!! YOU DOO!!! *cough* uhh-ohyes- it made much more sense if he had simply stated, ‘ Chrisalias slut,’ since no one knew but for him, and he knew incorrectly, that Chriswas a slut. He also apologized quickly to anyone whose name was really ‘Slut’for calling them a ‘Chris.’
 
            “ Pitchowanga!” Dominick screamedthrough his hair again.
 
            “Kyle,where’s Snee!” Snee sang shrilly, now doing a waddle-dance on Dom-dom’s booty, which I would enjoy to touch if it were real…You would too..
 
            “Eee? I’m Kodi, Dom, not that bastard, and I do believe Sneeis waltzing in the general vicinity of your anal area.” Came Kodi’s wearyanswer. Was his brother feeling alright? Seriously, these questions, they madeno sense! He asked him where Kyle was, Kodi told him, and then mistook him forKyle!? Wait, he mistook Kodi with Kyle, and he replied Kyle was with a slut.Was Dominick Emphasizing that his real name was ‘Chris’ changed to ‘Dominick’later in his life, and that he was actually a slut trying to hit it off withhis bro(3)? This was getting all too weird for Kodi. Too bad he forgot Snee’slimited language…
 
            “Where’sSnee, Snee!” The deformed cat-like thing then chirped.
 
            Holdthe phone, *sigh* no, don’t really; put it back onto its receiver… No that’s adog, I said ‘put it on its receiver,’ not’ give it to your golden retriever.’With that solved, Dominick didn’t say anything for Snee to say this time,right? Was his brother gaining the power of telepathy between himself, and hiscat? Was Dominick really the little telepathic boy that had helped him earlier?Or, was he continuing his mutinous animal testing experiments at the expense ofSnee’s sanity!? This really pissed Kodi off. His brother, HIS brother wastesting on a pet that didn’t belong to him! He belonged to Kodi! ClearlyDominick knew that Kodi would find out about it sooner or later, so he musthave decided to take no chances and dispose of his all-knowing brother beforethings got out of hand by asking senseless questions leading to confusingconclusions making Kodi another victim of Dominick’s to rape of tranquility andfree will! Or maybe domwould just kill him, ‘cause no matter how you use the word ‘rape’ it stillsounds like incest here. Kodi looked forward to dying, just as he had concludedthe previous night, but dying, and being unable to protect his brand-newkitty-witty was just going a bit too far! It was now Kodi vs. Dominick, thestandoff of the spontaneous second! Kodi struggled and writhed against therestraint of his brother. Somehow Kodi transformed to be the victorious componentin the mixture of miniature catfight with the older brother quite easily.
 
            “ Whoa, hold it , birdie,” Dominick ordered surprised, rollingoff his kin when he felt the form beneath him trying to buck him off like amalfunctioning mechanical bull. What had gotten Kodi’s mind so strenuous rightthen, when he himself was enjoying a pleasant one-sided conversation with theback of Kodi’s neck? Had Snee said something bad-bad that Kodi thought hehimself said? And if he did, why would Kodi’s vendetta beagainst Dominick? Had the foster Brother found out about his unintentional‘experimenting’ on Snee that he started last night? He prayed for anything butthat, for then he would have to rape Kodi of his tranquility and free will, andhe couldn’t use the word ‘rape’ and ‘Kodi’ right next together without itsounding like incest, which would result in Dom-domhaving to kill his beloved brother. Well, he did pray for something. He prayedthat some hot-@$$ chick with a large bust would ask him out (that’s right,Dom-y-nicky’s straight! Sowwie,but not all the hawt ones are gay ^w^;;;). That prayer was a good thing to hope for. The firstprayer was a bad thing, and he hoped that he wouldn’t have to complete the badprayer.
 
            Nowwishing is completely different from hoping; it can only be used positively!Wishing is also completely off-topic, and holds no relevance to the plot, butnow I’m ranting and can’t stop, SO LISTSEN, MWAHAHAHA! The worst wish he’d evermade was when his dyer need for all preps to die spontaneously, which to a goth, isn’t at all negative. Well,wishing for death upon anyone for just being themselvesis just sort of out of the question, it was just, to Dominick at least, thatmost preps are brown-nosing, goody-two-shoes in school. Also, anyone who smiledthat much while, while learning [/i]automaticallymade it just as good as a death-wish for him to post a sticky-note, and pin iton the guilty preps @$$(4)! Kodi filled only two of the three requirements ofprep-a-tion, which was good; Dom-domdidn’t fancy killing his brother on a day as fine as this.
 
            Koditurned over onto his back; wood polish/wax wasn’t a smell he liked tointoxicate himself with frequently.” Why do you want Snee to tell you where heis?” He began to scold,” I already told you he was dancing on your pa-toottie”,” He drew in a long shaky breath as Dominickgiggled at the word ‘pa-tootie’,” You should havefelt it too, either that, or don’t you trust me anymore? Why don’t you trust meanymore? Is it because I’m gay!?”
 
            Dominickcowered at the verbal assault that his wee-little sibling showered upon hissoul. He most certainly did trust his brother! He wasn’t even trying to communicateanything to Kodi by means of Snee! Snee was just jumping around making up somehorribly written lyrics to a vague melody to a non-existent, and will never be existent,song, along with the musical group Snee shall never have,’ Snee and the Whereis Kyle-nettes!’
 
            “I wasn’t saying that,” Dominick mumbled in protest in innocence, drawinginnocent patterns with his finger on the innocent wooden floor where he sat onhis innocent kieshter(5) (which Snee had luckilygotten off of in time) in the innocent hallway where he innocently hadn’t stoodup from yet, but when he did it would be… innocently.
 
            Witha bite to his lower lip, Kodi contemplated on the reliability of his brother’sinnocent alibi. Perhaps he was right, how could Snee have known what Dominickwas saying? Even if Snee had hearing twice as sensitive as he did it wouldmatter, Kodi was five times closer to him brother’s mouth, which is a littledisturbing if you didn’t know what the situation at hand was, and you walkedthrough a passage into a hallway then. He sensed his brother was telling thetruth. It didn’t take much to realize this, because Dominick would haveotherwise made some really stupid story that no one would believe and Ranwasn’t conscious at the moment to participate as the honorary nobody. Kodi,however, was an everybody, a genius [/i]everybody,and found Dom’s excuse plausible, thus the brother in question had no choicebut to be innocent, no matter how much he pleaded to be guilty, in which thiscase is not the, er- case… in which this case is notthe situation[/i] most likely to happen.Another question suddenly popped into the geniuses head of his just then. “Whatwere[/i] you talking about then?
 
            Ajubilant smile that would make the frailest wings of a pigeon start a-flappin with a powerful ease assaulted Dom-dom’s face,” Hi,” Kodi quirked a single eyebrow, an uniquetrick he perfected during his hours of studying in solitude and despair; Kodiknew for a fact that Dominick had said more than just than that one syllable. “Overand over and over again and again and again!”
 
            Yep,Dominick was definitely telling the truth.
 
            “ What’s for the feastings of the break?” He queried hoppingwith the sugar-high rabbit genes he had inherited from his father.
 
            Snappedout of his daze of how the word ‘high’ sounded so different when muffled hereplied,” Huh?”
 
            “Switchit around and it makes breakfast. That thing, what’s for it?” He continued witha chirp.
 
            “Holdthe phone!(6)” Kodi exclaimed.
 
            Electricity’sout! There is no phone to hold! Besides, Snee is definitely not a dog.”
 
            “What?”Dominick could just be so confusing at times…” I was speaking figuratively[/i].”
 
            “I’mfiguratively[/i] not understanding,”
 
            Kodisighed, “Surely you can whip up a bowl of cereal.”
 
            Blueberrydidn’t respond, yet didn’t appear to be thinking either. “Whoa! You have towhip it to make it? We own a whip!? Teach me how to properly discipline mycereal beloved brother of mine!”
 
            “Iwas speaking figuratively[/i]…”
 
            “AGAINwith the big words! Okay, okay, cereal, gotcha. Ummm,do you use the scooper or the shovler?”
 
            “What,” was the exasperated rasp from Kodi’s lips who decided that in order forit to make sense to his brother he had to make the question a little longer andspecific,” are those?”
 
            “Youknow,” Blueberry started to chuckliningly started to explain,” The scooperscoops and the shovler shovels!”
 
Whichnstrument[/b] will win in the eternal battle of ceral grain gathering implements, and claim itself at itsrightful place as [/b]ULIMATE UTENSIL [/b]of the [/b]UNIVERSE! [/b]Cast your votes if you dare, although it’s already beeen decided which one it is by ME the almighty author!MWAHAHAHA! Guess wisly which one it is, young ones.See the outcome of this epic battle next chapter only on ‘7734206’[/i]!!!!!!! [/b]
 [/b]
TBC…
 
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(1)   what could the correscttense really be? We may never know….
(2)   The forstreason was on account of his curiosity to see what makes such weird noises.
(3)   Read it a couple time;it will make since eventually….i think…
(4)   Why use a  pin when it’s already a ‘sticky’-note?So that they notice it more and so it just doesn’t waft off. Everyone knowsthat sticky-notes are not that[/i]sticky.
(5)   BUTT!
(6)   TAKE THAT DAG AWAY NOW!!!
(7)   Hmmm… there appears to be no seven,yet I still typed it in… why I ask myself…. Why….
 
AARVARK!
*crying* I know I said I’d update in a week, but my parentsgave me a surprise b-day gift to see Systemof a Down[/b] at Hamptom, and AHHHHHH!!! THEYWERE AWESOME!!! The reason I haven’t been able to update since then is becauseof guard. It lasted all fall every weekend and all winter/ part of spring everyweekend, and during the fall season, they had winter try-outs, so technically Iwas doing fall guard AND winter guard at the same time for two weeks, and thewinter season didn’t end until mid-April, and I’m taking gym independently, somy weekends are devoted to the gym now until June, SOL’sare in two weeks, followed by end-of-year exams, then ‘robot camp’ (don’t wanna go, but I was recommended by 3 teachers, two of whomwill cry, and one will kill me in my sleep if I decline; they’ve said theywould too) for a week starting the day after school gets out, then F.J. Millercamp (guess what that is; That’s right! Guard camp, yay!)in Ohio for who-knows-how-long, July my momis making me lifeguard, august is our family’s annual vacation, then band campagain! Not to mention high-school’s a dog, and the teachers are the dogesof the dog! BLARG! Whoo… So I hope you’llunderstand the severe lack of updates. It takes between 7-10 hours to actuallywrite the chapter, edit it, deciphering what I wrote down when typing it up,re-editing, and if I don’t like it I just star over again. That has happen with three of the chapters so far this story. I HAVEwritten AND edited the next chapter-and-a-half; all left to do is to type themup and re-edit them ^-^ I will try my best to get up chapter 12 by THISweekend, I swear this time! No birthday excuses since I’m almost positive thatI have only been born once this go-around!
 
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH![/i][/b]
 [/i][/b]
Tee-hee, DefyDeath_DefyMe(s/p?)-After being forced to clean my room last week, I found you picture, whichreminded me of this story, yay! I WILL have it donenext update!
 
 
>__< I’m sowwie!!!!    Please still love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[/i][/i]

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