Chapter 1 - Scene 1, Act 1
Submitted August 15, 2006 Updated August 15, 2006 Status Complete | This is an original screenplay I wrote for a short 5 minute submission film (for "On the Lot"). Ted the Zombie has been a character a friend and I just fell in love with. This won't be the only cameo of my beloved Ted.
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Chapter 1 - Scene 1, Act 1
Chapter 1 - Scene 1, Act 1
"In the Event of a Zombie Outbreak"
(c) 2006
The scene opens to a meeting of the ZAS, the Zombie Awareness Society, in which the characters are discussing what to do in the event of a zombie outbreak. The few MEMBERS are sitting awkwardly on a couch while their LEADER lectures them on the undead. Banners and posters hang around the room: ZAS, No Zombies, Always Be Prepared, No Place is Safe, Only Safer, etc, etc, etc... During the LEADER''s lecturing, there are short clips of TED THE ZOMBIE making cookies. (NOTE: The MEMBERS have no distinction at the present time, but after filming, I will make them all have separate names. As of now, use your imagination.)
LEADER
Close-up.
I''d like to welcome you all to our first meeting of the Zombie Awareness Society.
Cut to a view of the couch where the MEMBERS are sitting. One begins a quiet applause; the others just sit there, almost seeming a bit unlikely to be attending a sort of "Zombie Awareness Rally". The LEADER continues his welcoming speech.
LEADER
Zombies pose a dangerous and constant threat to the living and thus we must be prepared in the event of a zombie outbreak.
TEDs first appearance. He''s beginning to add various ingredients to a bowel; flour, chocolate chips, stuff...
LEADER
The undead lurk everywhere--
MEMBER
Everywhere?
LEADER
Everywhere... Anyone can be infected--
MEMBER
Anyone?
LEADER
He talks quickly, counting on his fingers.
Anyone; your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your neighbor
MEMBER
My cat?
LEADER
A bit surprised at this comment.
Uh... no... no zombie animals.
MEMBER
Well, then--uh-- how can we tell if someones a zombie or not?
LEADER
That''s a good question. Well, first, the zombie looks kinda dead and scabby and stuff... They show no emotion, no fear, nothing.
TED is continuing to mix in ingredients until he notices something on the box or recipe. He looks into the pantry then to the counter. There''s a nearly empty sugar container.
TED THE ZOMBIE
He does a little zombie-moan.
Ssssuuuggggggaaaarrrrrrrr...
Cough, cough.
LEADER
And that''s why we are here; if they aren''t scared of us, then why should we be scared of them? As long as we are prepared, we can survive even the most brutal attacks of the undead. So then, what do we do when there is a report of a zombie outbreak?
MEMBER
We... run?
LEADER
That''s only going to get you so far...
MEMBER
We... take refuge in a mall ''cause it works in the movies.
MEMBER
And there are an infinite number of supplies to last us a long time!
LEADER
Yes! Perfect! Good, very good.
TED walks out of his house and onto the sidewalk. He passes his mailbox which reads "TED". He walks down the sidewalk&
LEADER
Weapons... We need to talk about weapons. Now there is a wide variety of weapons we can choose from when battling the living dead... like guns. Automatics, semi-automatics& no good. They''re a waste of valuable ammunition. Keep it simple with a sniper rifle and shotgun. All you need is one good shot to the head. No wasted amo. You''re gonna need every bit of it in an outbreak. What are some others?
As the MEMBERS list, they hold up their corresponding weapon of choice. (There will be more and possibly changes to this list, depending on what available resources we have...)
MEMBER
Hatchet.
MEMBER
Shovel.
MEMBER
Machete.
MEMBER
Samurai sword.
MEMBER
Lightsaber.
LEADER
Frowns at this answer and reprimands the MEMBER.
...Um... no... They''re not Wookies, theyre zombies and need to be taken seriously.
Enter TED. He is holding a measuring cup.
TED
Uh, howdy neighbor. Your door was open so, uh, yeah-- Could I borrow a cup of sugar?
There is a long pause. The group is in shock of the newcomer. TED seems just as confused. The camera goes from the group, to TED, repeating this for a while. Then the group starts screaming hysterically. TED screams, too, scared of their surprising reaction. Camera once again goes from group to TED and back and forth for a while until TED faints. The group stands and stares for yet another while.
MEMBER
So, uh... anyone wanna get a coffee?
They exit frame. The camera fades. Roll credits.
(c) 2006
The scene opens to a meeting of the ZAS, the Zombie Awareness Society, in which the characters are discussing what to do in the event of a zombie outbreak. The few MEMBERS are sitting awkwardly on a couch while their LEADER lectures them on the undead. Banners and posters hang around the room: ZAS, No Zombies, Always Be Prepared, No Place is Safe, Only Safer, etc, etc, etc... During the LEADER''s lecturing, there are short clips of TED THE ZOMBIE making cookies. (NOTE: The MEMBERS have no distinction at the present time, but after filming, I will make them all have separate names. As of now, use your imagination.)
LEADER
Close-up.
I''d like to welcome you all to our first meeting of the Zombie Awareness Society.
Cut to a view of the couch where the MEMBERS are sitting. One begins a quiet applause; the others just sit there, almost seeming a bit unlikely to be attending a sort of "Zombie Awareness Rally". The LEADER continues his welcoming speech.
LEADER
Zombies pose a dangerous and constant threat to the living and thus we must be prepared in the event of a zombie outbreak.
TEDs first appearance. He''s beginning to add various ingredients to a bowel; flour, chocolate chips, stuff...
LEADER
The undead lurk everywhere--
MEMBER
Everywhere?
LEADER
Everywhere... Anyone can be infected--
MEMBER
Anyone?
LEADER
He talks quickly, counting on his fingers.
Anyone; your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, your neighbor
MEMBER
My cat?
LEADER
A bit surprised at this comment.
Uh... no... no zombie animals.
MEMBER
Well, then--uh-- how can we tell if someones a zombie or not?
LEADER
That''s a good question. Well, first, the zombie looks kinda dead and scabby and stuff... They show no emotion, no fear, nothing.
TED is continuing to mix in ingredients until he notices something on the box or recipe. He looks into the pantry then to the counter. There''s a nearly empty sugar container.
TED THE ZOMBIE
He does a little zombie-moan.
Ssssuuuggggggaaaarrrrrrrr...
Cough, cough.
LEADER
And that''s why we are here; if they aren''t scared of us, then why should we be scared of them? As long as we are prepared, we can survive even the most brutal attacks of the undead. So then, what do we do when there is a report of a zombie outbreak?
MEMBER
We... run?
LEADER
That''s only going to get you so far...
MEMBER
We... take refuge in a mall ''cause it works in the movies.
MEMBER
And there are an infinite number of supplies to last us a long time!
LEADER
Yes! Perfect! Good, very good.
TED walks out of his house and onto the sidewalk. He passes his mailbox which reads "TED". He walks down the sidewalk&
LEADER
Weapons... We need to talk about weapons. Now there is a wide variety of weapons we can choose from when battling the living dead... like guns. Automatics, semi-automatics& no good. They''re a waste of valuable ammunition. Keep it simple with a sniper rifle and shotgun. All you need is one good shot to the head. No wasted amo. You''re gonna need every bit of it in an outbreak. What are some others?
As the MEMBERS list, they hold up their corresponding weapon of choice. (There will be more and possibly changes to this list, depending on what available resources we have...)
MEMBER
Hatchet.
MEMBER
Shovel.
MEMBER
Machete.
MEMBER
Samurai sword.
MEMBER
Lightsaber.
LEADER
Frowns at this answer and reprimands the MEMBER.
...Um... no... They''re not Wookies, theyre zombies and need to be taken seriously.
Enter TED. He is holding a measuring cup.
TED
Uh, howdy neighbor. Your door was open so, uh, yeah-- Could I borrow a cup of sugar?
There is a long pause. The group is in shock of the newcomer. TED seems just as confused. The camera goes from the group, to TED, repeating this for a while. Then the group starts screaming hysterically. TED screams, too, scared of their surprising reaction. Camera once again goes from group to TED and back and forth for a while until TED faints. The group stands and stares for yet another while.
MEMBER
So, uh... anyone wanna get a coffee?
They exit frame. The camera fades. Roll credits.
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