Chapter 1 - What are you doing?

Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, if I did I'd probably lose it and you wouldn't be able to see it ever again!





WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

A.K.A I'm not GAY!



Aragon leant closer to Legolas.



“Legolas, I just want you to know before we go off to fight and I obviously won't die because I'm the more handsome one, is that I LOVE YOU!”



Legolas turned to Aragon with disgust.



“HELLO, I'm the good looking one and stop looking at me in that way, just because I take care of my looks doesn't mean I'm GAY! And get your hand off my butt!”



“Legolas you are breaking my heart, don't do this to me!” said Aragon starting to breakdown and cry.



“But what about Arwen?” Legolas asks.



Totally recovered from his crying fit, because Aragon has to be the strong one says “What about Arwen, haven't you seen her sneaking around with Sam, no wonder he's quiet!”



“But Frodo said that Sam had a thing for that chick hobbit in the Shire?” Legolas asked.



“Well the bigger the better!” said Aragon.



“What do you mean by that?” Legolas wondered.



“Jeez Leggy, Arwen is like twice his height!” Aragon exclaimed.



“Don't call me Leggy, are you implying that there is something wrong with my legs!” Legolas said with horror written all over his face.



“No your legs are fine!” Aragon said.



“WHAT! JUST FINE! MY LEGS AREN'T JUST FINE!” screamed Legolas.



“They are more than fine, they are beautiful!” said Aragon trying to make up for his mistake.



“That's better!” said Legolas, now satisfied.



“Anyway you are getting off the point………” Aragon started before he was rudely interrupted by Legolas.



“There was no point to this conversation!” said Legolas.



“Yes there was, I just proclaimed my love to you!” explained Aragon.



“And I told you to bugger off I ain't no poof!” said Legolas totally miffed with Aragon right now.



“I am also getting tired of your hand on my butt!” said Legolas.

“What happens when we go off to fight and you die!” whispered Aragon feeling emotional again.



“I will not die I'm a bloody elf we are immortal you idiot!” Legolas said sounding like he was talking to a five year old.



“Legolas elves can die you know!” said Aragon softly trying not to cause any trouble.



“WHAT! YOU TELL ME THIS NOW, I COULD BE AT HOME FIXING MY SPILT ENDS INTEAD OF GETTING DIRTY FROM FIGHTING!” screamed Legolas, his voice going two octaves higher than a normal man.



“And you could die!” Aragon said softly trying to make the elf see how he felt.



“Dieing is not on the top of my list right now! Spilt ends are and my hair has gone all lanky form all the bushwalking we do!” said Legolas.



”I can't die anyway because I still have to beat Gimli in killing the most orcs, duh!” said Legolas.



“I thought you said you didn't want to fight because you would get all dirty!” said Aragon.



“It's a price I will have to pay to ensure that the orcs all die! Have you seen how they look, besides them having ugly faces, they have so many blackheads and blocked pores and they really need to whiten their teeth, they need to die Aragon!” said Legolas stating the obvious.



“Leggy you are getting off the point again!” said Aragon.



“No we haven't the point is that orcs must die! AND THEN I CAN RULE THE WORLD MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!” said Legolas feeling slightly evil, slightly.



“Yes that is a good point Leggy and HEY! I'm meant to rule the world!” said Aragon not happy about Legolas ruling the world.



“Just go and ruin my fun, you never let me do anything and stop calling me Leggy!” said Legolas totally miffed now.



“Ok, ok, the point is that I LOVE YOU!” said Aragon really liking those words a lot.



“Aragon what a lame point and stop saying it! Imagine what the kids would look like, you have terrible skin tone!” said Legolas.



“Legolas we are both guys we cannot have kids!” said Aragon not happy with how many brain cells Legolas has.



“Well there goes my dream of a family!” said Legolas looking downcast.



“All that matters is that I LOVE YOU LEGGY!” said Aragon again.

“Aragon you have to stop doing that, the whole love thing is so last second AND STOP WITH THE LEGGY THING!” yelled Legolas.



“Leggy I love you, Leggy I do, whenever we apart………” sang Aragon.



“Aragon you are really pissing me off now!” said Legolas steaming from his ears.

“You know you like it!”



WHACK!!!



Legolas hit Aragon over the head with his bow.



“FINALLY some peace and quiet, hey look the fighting has started!” said Legolas.



“WOOHOO ITS ORC KILLING TIME!” yelled Legolas running down the hill totally forgetting about Aragon.



THE END!

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