Chapter 8 - Gameshow hosts…

Gameshow hosts…











Shadow: Is it on…?





Blain: No not yet…





Shadow: Red light is flashing!





Blain: Hold up..





Shadow: You forgot to lift the cap…





Blain: Oh whoops!





Shadow: There we go!











Blain: Yay!





Shadow: Goodafternoon! Welcome to another episode of Gameshop Pro!





Blain: Where WE… Shadow and Blain, will discuss the newest games and hardware!











Shadow: So what do we have today…?





Blain: We’ve got an exclusive interview with Miyamoto, who created Mario and The legend of Zelda series! That’s just one of many!











Shadow: A sneak preview behind the new Nintendo Revolution!





Blain: An of course… games! ^-^











Shadow: First up… The Nintendo Revolution!





Blain: Tadaa! *pulls off the canvas on the Nintendo*











Both: O_o





Shadow: Is that… The Revolution…?





Blain: I think so…





Shadow: So! The Revolution!











*long silence*











Blain: I think its called the Nintendo Wii…





Shadow: Wii…? As in Wee…?





Blain: Yes…





Shadow: As in urine…?





Blain: Yes… T_T





Shadow: What will they come up next?! The Gameboy Poo?! *lmfao*





Blain: O_o





Shadow: Buy the Nintendo Wee and Gameboy Poo! YOU’LL HAVE WEE AND POO TOGETHER!!!





Blain: O_o





Shadow: Or better yet, it’s the Nintendo WHEEEEEEEEE!!! Because it’s so much fun!! *lmfao*











Blain: O_o *slaps Shadow*





Shadow: Ok…





Blain: Well anyway… Nintendo wanted a new type of console for the public! The most innovative change are the controllers! Which looks just like a remote control!











Shadow: Tv wont go on Blain!





Blain: That’s the controller you @$$…





Shadow; Oh…











Blain: Anyway… Where was I… Ah yes… Well, the Nintendo Wii… Or WHEEEEEEEE… has the latest technology. Rumours says it will be teaming with ATI for the graphics… Which are frackING GREAT!!!











Shadow: Any confirmed titles for the WHEEEE or We or Wii Or Wee or whatever the hell you pronounce it…?











Blain: Well actually… Yes… Super Smash Brothers Brawl will be one of those titles. And the best part is… Solid Snake is in it…











Shadow: Solid Snake…?





Blain: Yes! ^-^





Shadow: FROM METAL GEAR SOLID?!! =D





Blain: YES!!!





Shadow: Wasn’t that just a rumour…?





Blain: Yeah, but it’s confirmed now…











Shadow: OMG YES!!! frackING YES!!! *does chickendance*





Blain: O_o





Shadow: Will he be using guns…?





Blain: Actually… no… They decided to cut that out…





Shadow: Stupid game…











Blain: O_o





Shadow: HOW THE HELL CAN YOU EXPECT A GAME TO BE FUNNY IF YOU CAN’T SHOOT MARIO?!!











Blain: But…





Shadow: AND THAT DAMN PIKACHU!!!





Blain:*slaps Shadow* I wasn’t done talking!!





Shadow: Oh… Continue… ^-^











Blain: Thank you… Solid Snake will refrain from the guns… But he can use explosives…











Shadow: WOo0t!!1 ^-^





Blain: Also… Sonic makes a new appearance on the Nintendo Wii!





Shadow: Sonic…?





Blain: Yes! The working title is called Sonic Wildfire!





Shadow: What kinda shoot name is that?!





Blain: It’s a working title you @$$…





Shadow: Well… still… I hate it…





Blain: Whatever… Details of the game is under development, more on that in later shows!











Shadow: I vote Super Smash Brothers Brawl game of the year!





Blain: It’s not out yet…





Shadow: shoot…





Blain: So anyway… It’s just a wait and see… But as far as I can tell, this console will be one hell of a hit!











Shadow: Maybe even better then the PS3…





Blain: Well… Maybe…











Shadow: Alright! On to the next part… shootty games!





Blain: Yeah! The most fun part of the show! We’re gonna select the most 5 shootty games of the year!











Shadow: Ok, on number 5… Star Wars Republic Commando…





Blain: Ok… And why is that…?





Shadow: Because… Gameplay sucks… Animation is horrible… Graphics are ok… Storyline is messed up…











Blain: O_o





Shadow: If you see a guy running around, he runs around like he’s got a pole shoved up his @$$! And the voices! Damn! Even Sonic could come up with better voice acting!











Blain: Ok… Well, you’ve put up one hell of an argument there buddy, cant mess with that…











Blain: Fourth place… Crazy Frog Racer!





Shadow: What’s so bad about that…? Crazy Frog rules!! RING DING DING DING DING, BAAAAAAAAAAP BWAAAAAAAAAAAP!!











Blain: SHUT UP!!! frackING SHUT UP!!! O_o





Shadow: O_o





Blain: That’s the number one frackING reason why it’s so shootty!! O_o





Shadow: Aawh…











Blain: Well get over it!





Shadow: OK… Third place… Barbie’s Pony House Farm!





Blain: But… I like that game…





Shadow: WELL IT SUCKS!!!





Blain: O_o





Shadow: ^-^





Blain: *sniff*











Shadow: Ok, first off… You play as some stupid pony… Then you should drive off to the farm to dump that Barbie dog!! And you’ll get point for that! What the hell?! Where’s the action?! Where’s the cutscenes?! WHERE ARE THE WEAPONS?!!1 O_o











Blain: There are no weapons…





Shadow: My point exactly, so it sucks! ^_^











Blain: Ok, second place… Shadow the Hedgehog!





Shadow: That’s me! ^-^





Blain: No I mean your game sucks…





Shadow: O_o





Blain: First off… The camera angle… It sucks.. Second… The graphics sucks! They don’t look like a PS2 game to me, more like a Nintendo NES game… Even SMB has better graphics in those 8-bit consoles…











Shadow: O_o











Blain: The weapons… People obviously don’t like the idea of Sonic characters with guns… It’s so… Un-Sonic like…











Shadow: IM NOT SONIC FOR frackS SAKE!!!





Blain: Indeed, that’s why people call it a spin off… It would have been MUCH better if they spend some more time on it… But they didn’t! So better luck next time!











Shadow: O_o





Blain: ^-^.











Shadow: And now…. For the first place… ALL OF THE frackING POKÉMON GAMES!!!











Blain: O_o





Shadow: Yes!! I’m so fracking SICK of those bastards!! All they do is screaming, PIKA PIKA PIKA PIKA PIKA PIKA ALL DAY!!!











Blain: But-





Shadow: What about that Ash dog!? Here’s an example of the average gameplay…











Ash ketchup: OMG!!!1 A POKÉMON!!!!





Guy: Mwuahahahaha! You will never get my pokémon!!





Ash ketchup: OMG YES I WILL!!! PIKACHU!!! ATTACK!!!











*long silence*











Ash ketchup: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!





Pikachu: Pika…?





Ash ketchup: KICK HIS @$$!!!





Pikachu: O_o





Ash ketchup: I WILL DEFEAT YOU!!1













Shadow: Then long and boring shoot will happen en blablablablabla and suddenly he has all the badges and he’s a Pokémon master, the end…












Blain: Well… If you see it that way… It’s just like that YU-GHI-OH!!!1 crap











Guy: OMG!!!1 ITS YOGI!!!





Yugi: It’s yugi… T_T





Guy: WHATEVER!!! I FEEL THE URGE TO BEAT YOU IN A CARDMATCH!!1





Yugi: OMG CARDMATCH1!!!!











*card card card card card card card card card*











Yugi: OMG I WON1!!!





Guy: frack you!





Yugi: O_o











Blain: And then some stuff happens and then he has all the cards, blablabla the end…











Shadow: Yeah…





Blain: Anyway, that was the 5 crappiest games of the year!











Shadow: Although I still think Shadow the Hedgehog is a cool game…





Blain: Yeah… That’s what you think…





Shadow: O_o











Blain: Ok! On to our interview with mr. Miyamoto!











A door opens, and some guy is walking out…











Blain/Shadow: O_o





Guy: Hello!





Blain: You’re not Miyamoto…





Bill: No… I’m Bill Gates! I made the X-Box!





Shadow: Yeah, that’s fascinating, now go away…





Bill: But… Don’t you want to hear about the new X-Box and-





Both: NO!!!





Bill: Fine… Then there will be NO MORE Shadow the Hedgehogs games on the X-Box 360!!











Shadow: O_o











Bill: Tee… hee… and might I add… hee…





Blain: Get outta here!! *kicks Bill*











Shadow: And here he is… Miyamoto!!





Miyamoto: O_o











Miyamoto sits next to Blain and Shadow











Blain: Konichiwa! ^^





Miyamoto: Hello! ^-^





Blain: O_o











Shadow: So…Mr. Miyamoto… Welcome! It’s an honour to have you here!





Miyamoto: Honour is all mine!





Shadow: Eeh… Right, so tell us about the new Mario game…











Miyamoto: Aah yes… Super Mario Galaxy is exclusively on the Nintendo Wii!





Blain: Which reminds me… How did you guys came up with the name Wii…?











Miyamoto: Aah yes… It all started when…











*flashback*












Nintendo guy: We desperately need to replicate the success of the iPod…Nintendo Guy2: But, what makes the iPod such a successful product?Nintendo guy: I know!! It’s the ‘i’!! People love i’s!! Every person IS an ‘I’! Most people are BORN with an ‘eye’!!!Nintendo guy 2 : Hell, most people are born with TWO of them!!1Nintendo guy: THAT’S IT! Let’s put TWO i’s in the new console name!!!!Together: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!











*flashback ends*











Both: O_o





Shadow: See… I told you its WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!





Blain: Whatever… So… How did Mario come such a long way…? He survived a long road of rivals, meaning Sonic!











Miyamoto: Sonic is just an loser! He thinks he’s cool, but he isn’t!





Shadow: Miyamoto… I think this is a start of a looooong friendship…





Miyamoto: O_o





Shadow: ^-^





Miyamoto: The secret behind the Mario character is because of his simplicity when he was created…











Blain: So how did you came up with the name Mario…?





Miyamoto: Well, back in 1981, Mario wasn’t called Mario back then…





Blain: Then how was he called…?





Miyamoto: Jumpman! Because he was jumping you know…











Shadow: Jumpman…? *lmfao* Where you high on crack when you thought off that?! *lmfao*











Miyomoto: O_o





Shadow: Holy crap! What if we worked for Nintendo?! Sonic, Runman!! *lmfao* I would be called Ultimate Lifeform Man!! *fracking rofl lmfao*











Blain: I would be called Awesome Man! ^-^





Both: O_o





Blain: Never mind, so why did Sega made the risky step of coming to the Nintendo? Because you both were rivals!











Miyamoto: IT’S BECAUSE SEGA SUCKS!!!! THEY DIDN’T SELL MUCH GAMES ON THE DREAMCAST, NOR THE GENESIS!!!1











Shadow: Oh you did not just insulted Sega!





Miyamoto: I didn’t… O_o





Shadow: Yeah right… Let’s make a summary of Mario…











OK well… Mario is a plumber… He gets sucked into a toilette and is dragged through a sewer while being covered with shoot and pee… He then comes in this magical land where some fracking mushrooms, which looks like some drugs, rule. He meets a princess, who conveniently is a human, and gets kidnapped all the time! Mario comes and he’s like, NO NOES!!1 TEH PRINCESS IS KIDNAPPED BY BOWSER… AGAIN!!!1





I DON’T WHY, BECAUSE BOWSER JUST WANTS TO HUMP THE PRINCESS!!!1























And then he jumps on some… walking… turtles and kick the shoot outta it… Then he meets a large dragon… Defeats it… And Mario is humping the princess…





Then 2 days later everything starts all over again… Again with the kidnapping… O_o











Miyamoto: What?!! YOU’VE DISHONOURED MY DOJO!!! DISHONOURED MY FAMILY!!











Shadow: O_o





Miyamoto: Now you must pay with your life!!





Shadow: Eeh…





Miyamoto: BANZAAAAAAAAAAAAI!!1











Shadow: O_o *kicks Miyamoto out of window*





Blain: WTF…? O_o





Shadow: Miyamoto didn’t knew I was an Ultimate Lifeform…





Blain: Eeh… sure…





Shadow: And that’s all for today folks!! ^-^





Blain: G’night! I think…

















The End!!1











*I humbly apologize to the X-Box lovers and Nintendo lovers… T_T *

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