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Chapter 3 - part 3

this is a story abuot a mutant that comes to this dimension(a dimension is a world that exist beside our world)
Think im going to rewrite this yo someday when i got time, add a few things ya know.

Chapter 3 - part 3

Chapter 3 - part 3
When Adviva started to grew, her parents knew that they couldn''t continue living like that, so they decided to steal a dimensioncontrol so they could open a gate to an other world. The problem was just that the few ones that existed was very hard to get to because the hard protection. Nick had no other choice to join a group of mutants that had specialesed them self to entry hardprotected buildings. It took a while before they exepted him into their gang but they did to an end. They gave him a mission, to find something worth to steal and a place where it was. This mission was perfect for him to get the dimensioncontrol and he found out that the one that was easiest protected was own by Avivas father, the mayor himself. Nick kept Aviva unknowing about his plan to get dimenisoncontrol just because it involved her father. The gang made up an plan to get the dimensioncontrol and not so surprisingly they succceded with it.
The leader of the gang gave Nick the mission to leave their prey in their hideout, what Nick didn''t know was this was a test to see if he could be trust so one of the members that could turn herself into a bird followed him. She found out that he went home to his cabin and went to bed so she told the leader that and they made up another plan.
When Nick come home he put the dimensioncontrol on their table and went to bed and fell asleep. Later that night a man entered their house and picked up Nick and Avivas sleeping little doughter and he took the demensioncontrol and leaved the house.
The next day in the early morning the police did a razzia and arrested Nick and Aviva that was looking after their doughter that was missing. The police couldn''t find Adviva in the house either and they was close to let Aviva go before they found out that she had a doughter with the mutant. They put up an warrent for Adviva in hope that someone would turn her in if they found her.
The man that had kidnapped Adviva was stopped by another man and Adviva came to earth instead...

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brinabunny on January 25, 2007, 7:58:59 AM

brinabunny on
brinabunnyThis is good. Very good but (no offence to you) i think you need to add detail and add more to it.