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Chapter 1 - Las Vegas Metal Fest-2003

Enjoy Your Lord And Master Foamy At http://www.friendsoffoamy.com/index.php?id=302

Chapter 1 - Las Vegas Metal Fest-2003

Chapter 1 - Las Vegas Metal Fest-2003
Neurotically Yours: Episode # 024: Las Vegas Metal Fest 2003
(Promotional Special For Las Vegas Metal-Fest 2003)

Foamy:
Now you know what a squirrel does during the long, hot gruelling ``fry your brain'' days of summer?

I don't know what the rest of these assholes do… But I'm going to destroy my hearing at a metal fest, in Las Vegas. The first annual ``Las Vegas Metal Fest''

Yeah I know what you're saying ``what's the big deal with a metal fest?'' This is not some ordinary metal fest! This is not like Lolla-Po-Lozer (Foamy holds up a sign with ``Lolla-Po-Lozer'' written on it) or that ``Summer-Sanitation'' tour (holds up sign with ``Summer-Sanitation'' written on it) with metallica and limp-dick-lick.

You know… it's non of that crap!. This is real metal! This is like ``stuck inside your brain destroy the world with fire'' type metal'' Seriously dude it's like three days of ``brain frying-metal'' This three day event, right is going to have bands like ``Deicide'' You know Deicide, everyone likes Deicide.

Crematorium great band… and a place where you'd like to stick Metellica. Unholy Ghost… no not Satan, but as close as you can get without damning your soul. You've got Dreams Of Damnation, you know you've got all these other bands and that's just on the first day… then there is another day… the day after that.

Day two..wooo… and day two's got ``suffocation'' you know the thing you'd like to do too Lars Ulcer out of Metallica… Strapping Young Lad… My God this band is the coolest! They've got this really cool song that goes ``I fracking hate, I fracking hate you'' over and over again. Dude totally amazing and their drummer is like `Jesus'' okay ``by Jesus I am not comparing him to Jesus' holiness nor do I say he will save your soul!' (Foamy is holding a sign with ``Disclaimer Thingy written on it). He's just really good.

Lets see.. we've got ``Bloodshot'' bloodshot baby! Adanadaa. Cattle Decapitation… A lot of people think It's aliens; but it's really just the band!

``Death to All'' A very nifty band that has a message… for all.. to die.

Lets see we've got Weirding Way… we've got, got.. ``Eyes of FIRE'' eyes of fire, eyes of fire! Dun dun dun dun.. dun dun.

``Buried'' theirs a band called buried here! Personally I think they named themselves in reference to Metallica's current career… but that's just me.
Ahhh and a personal favorite ``Bodies Burn'' obviously they took their name from their favourite pastime... burning bodies. And that was only day two!

(Foamy is holding a Mason book with the ``all seeing eye'' symbol on the cover)
The third and final day brings… Kataclysm! With a ``K'' that makes them a lot cooler than a band who spells it with the old fashioned ``C''.

Seriously skip that whole ``summer-sanitization'' tour all together; because you don't need to see Metellica. Let us not forget, that Metellica killed Napster! Don't give them your money, okay!

So seriously dude this is like 30 of the most, national international and local acts… it's just fracking disgusting man!

Im going… So frack you okay! Sit home, listen to your Metellica and Die, okay!

I'll be moshing with cattle-decapitation, so there!

(END)


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Copyright: Jonathan Ian Mathers: 2004.
www.illwillpress.com

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