Chapter 1 - The Secret Diary of Frodo Baggins

The Secret Diary of Frodo Baggins (Which is kept under his bed in case anyone wants to know.)



Day One 1: Went to visit Uncle Bilbo today. Sad to say he was not there. Saw Gandalf sitting in corner smoking his pipe. Think whatever hes smoking has gone to his head as he was talking to himself. Decided to sneak up on him and scare him. Gandalf jumped halfway out of his chair. I thought it was most amusing&although Gandalf did not. He said he found a ring which I had to take to Mordor. Think this is Gandalfs punishment for scaring him. Made note not to do that again. Saw Sam peeking though window throwing me sexy look. Gandalf got mad and said he had to go to Mordor with me. Think Gandalf is jealous.

Day 2: Have started journey to Mordor. I told Sam that he could lead the way, but he insisted on following behind me. I think he just wanted to check me out. Kinky. Were suppose to meet Gandalf at the Prancing Pony and find this guy named Strider. Wonder if he is as good looking as me and if Sam may be tempted by this new comer. I will kill him if he trys anything.

Went down to the bar area and had some drinks. Sam was playing footsy with me under the table. Was very fun. Pippin got all drunk and started telling the bartender who I really was and somehow I ended up with the ring on my finger. Cant really remember what happened then as I was too drunk.

When I woke up, I found Sam, Merry, Pippin and some strange guy in this big room. The guy said his name was Strider. Pish! He isnt anything compared to me. I am by far more good looking then him, although that smile of his seems to be getting Sams attention a lot. He was saying something about some Ringwraiths or something that were coming after me to take the ring. I think they may want more then just the ring with how sexy I am. Gandalf still hasnt arrived. And he says a wizard is never late&like WHATEVER! Well, Im off to sleep for the night.


Day 3: Well, the Strider guy had decided that we should go to the Elven land of Rivendell. Bah! Stupid Strider&thinks he knows everything. PISH! Im suppose to be the leader here,but nooo&Mr. Strider has to be like do this and go here. Hes just jealous cause Im sexier then him. So, yeah, it was a VERY long walk and Sam was saying that his feet were hurting. Strider said that he would carry him, but I quickly pushed him out of the way. Stupid sexy guy wanna be! After what seemed like days of walking, we finally made our way to Rivendell, where we met up with the head boss man Elrond and surprise surprise! Gandalf FINALLY shows up! He was giving some made up story about how he fought with Saruman and had to ride an eagle back to here and yadda yadda. Yeah, sure grandpa! You were just scared, so you decided to hide for a while!

The old fart tried to get Elrond to keep the ring in Rivendell, but noooo! Elrond was a stubborn puke face and said we HAD to take it to Mordor. I say why dont YOU take it there yourself?! Stupid elf! Went to some meeting where we argued about who was taking the ring to Mordor. Met some pansy elf named Legolas. Think he is way into himself as he kept checking in a mirrow to make sure his hair was not out of place. Sam was very tempted by this fellow. I snuck up behind Legolas and poured tree sap all over his hair. Take that pretty boy! Was very fun.


Day 4: Well, we spent most of the night debating who was going to take the ring to Mordor. I finally said that I would take the stupid ring there and THEN everyone was like oh Ill go with you. BAH! Stupid annoying people! Am most tired from the long night and not really a happy camper. Strider kept giving me weird looks. Like WHATEVER! I think hes still jealous that Im more sexy then him. Legolas kept checking himself out in the mirror. Was most annoying and I took the mirrow away. Saw myself in the mirror and thought I was most sexy. I was going to give the mirror back, but have decided to keep it now. While going up a hill, I noticed that Legolas shaves his legs. I am most curious as to why&no wait&.never mind! I mean&really now!! That is so not right!

I also noticed that while going up a hill, Sam stayed behind me the whole way. I could tell he was checking me out and I flexed my butt for him. Think he got big kick out of that. We now have come to a door with strange writing on it. Gandalf the so-called-wise-one can not figure out what it says, so were just going to sit around and hope that he can figure out something&.Yeah right!


Day 5: Were still by the stupid gate with the strange markings. Gandalf was talking to himself again and trying to figure out what the stupi writing was. Stupid wizard! I found a bottle in my bag and Sam and I played a couple rounds of spin the bottle. Was very fun. After that, we found some sticks and played a couple games of tic tac toe. Right in the middle of one of out games, I felt myself being picked up. I looked and saw it was some ugly looking creature, who was not sexy like I am, with lots of tentacles. Think he got jealous when Same and I were playing spin the bottle. I tried to break free and I could hear Same calling out. Mr. Frodo! Saaaaam! I yelled. Sam started reaching his hand out to me and I grabbed a hold of it. Right there, Sam said the sweetest thing, Ill never let go Mr. Frodo&.never let go!

Well, after what seemed like hours, I was finally free from the disgusting creature and Gandalf FINALLY figured out what the stupid gate said and we were able to go through. Wonder whats in store.


Day 6: Seems we are in some place where dwarfs use to be. Turns out all of Gimilis family and stuff were all killed. He was most said. Tragic. *Tear* Pippin was clumsy and dropped some chains down a well causing us to get attacked by Orcs. IDIOT! So, we had a huge battle with the Orcs and I got stuck fighting off a troll. After a while of fighting with him, I made a compromise. We then went off and played rock, scissors, paper. The troll was a pretty cool dude and we were having fun til the pansy elf started shooting arrows at him. I told him to stop, but nooooo&he kept right on going. Soon, the troll was dead. Stupid elf! Think that was his revenge for stealing his mirror. I then went after Legolas and we were fighting. Sam told us that we had to get along if we wanted to get to Mordor safely. I stopped only cause Same wanted me to, but after this mission, its so on elf!


Day 7: We are finally out of the cave and I sure am glad about that. Gandalf got taken away while fighting off the Barlog. WAHOO! Er&I mean&how tragic..*Cough* We now have to walk through a bunch of snow&again! I sure wish that someone would invent some snow shoes for Hobbits&hmmmm&.*Makes note to do that* It seems like its taking forever to get to Mordor. If I was leading the way instead of stupid Strider, we would have been there already. Have no idea whats going to happen next, not sure if I even want to know.



Written by: Shadow Princess
November 18, 2004

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