Chapter 1 - Hell comes to Wal-mart

Author's notes:

This story was inspired by the many random Wal-mart stories and ways to annoy people at Walmart both here and in other parts of the vast interwebz. I decided to choose Ventus and Vanitas for this story considering Deidara and Tobi are too predictable; and I have seen many amusing KH based Wal-mart stories and comics. (One including the gang being blindsided by a streaking George Bush...no fooling lol.) This will also have a few Family guy inspired scenes so lets see if you can point those out.

In the story Ventus and Vanitas are twins; it makes sense since these two are connected in the game too right? Also, they are the twins of Sarahfina and Edward Elric. (Shush right now you canonXOC haters or I'll eat your muffins)
This fable takes place quite many years after the "To challenge the Night" saga. It's too big to be put in a chapter of the saga itself, but too amusing to bypass. But ah that's writers block and hyperness also fueling this story.
Let's read on shall we? This will be put in Ventus's point of view. Keep in mind this will be my first time doing POVs so be gentle. xP


Hell comes to Wal-mart:

"Ventus...Ventus wake up!" A stern male voice called out. I yelped and rubbed at my blue eyes murring groggily. When my sight focused, I looked over towards the drivers seat as my father looked at me somewhat annoyed. His gold eyes held that stern glare he always gave us kids while his blond hair that matched mine in color was neatly tied in a long braid. One antenna-ish thingy peeked out between his messy bangs..me and Vanitas called that his 'migit-dar'..the thing that sensed out those who thought he was short in nature. I still dont know why he thinks he is still short...dad is super tall now, near Shadow's height. But then again mom did say he used to be below her shoulder in height back when they were dating. And whenever someone called him out on it, he would erupt like a volcano. Mom said he even came through a wall at someone Chuck Norris style! I guess old habits die hard heh.

"Yeah dad im awake." I muttered softly as he nodded, turning back in his seat as he tapped the button near the car's stereo to unlock the doors.

"Good. Vanitas is in the dentist's office next to Wal-Mart. Your mother is with your little sister Nina getting school clothes in the store. Take Vanitas there with you to re-group with her. I'll be out here waiting." dad explained as he nodded towards the said giant behemoth of a warehouse.

"How come you cant come with?" I asked, unbuckling my seat belt as I started to jerk my door open. Dad murred as he shrugged it off pulling out one of his many Alchemy books he kept in the car at all times. Yeah dad was one hell of an alchemy nut, not to mention a die-hard bookworm. All he was missing was a pair of thick wire-frame glasses and an inhaler.

"I'm not one for big stores like these. Plus your mother might try to make me put on some new clothes too." He replied as I tried to stifle a snicker. Dad although he loved mom deeply, hated trying on new clothes. I couldnt say as I blamed him though, it was a dude thing after all.

"Right, well if we get caught putting on new clothes, im telling Shadow you were the one that broke his PSP when you got frustrated with the game in it." I warned as dad sent a fearful look towards me. But before he could say anything I shut the door and scampered off, hearing his angry objections of Shadow shouldnt have gotten a glitched game and all that.

I strolled up towards the Dentist's office, making my way inside as I walked into the waiting room. I shuddered, the place looked like a morgue. Plus it was soo damn cold to boot. And most of the people waiting about looked ready to enter one too. What was it about dentist offices that gave me the willies? Well least I wasent the one who had to come here for an appointment thank god. My twin on the other hand...heh well he wasnt soo lucky. The raven haired menace that was born 4 minutes after me had a nasty sweet tooth; which lead to him having to get a root canal. Guess all that exotic chocolate came back to bite him in the end. I hoped the dentist wouldnt ask about his enlongated canines, due to the fact we happen to be pureblood vamps. No not the sparkely emo ones that suffer from delusions grandeur. We mean the ones that kick @$$, bite people that deserve it, sleep all day, and party all night. Well ok maybe Vanitas does the last part, im the tamer of the two of us. Or as mom likes to call us; the good and evil twins. Walking over then to the front desk, I cleared my throat to get the secretary's attention.

"Is there a Vanitas Elric here? And is he ready to leave? Im his twin Ventus Elric." I asked as the woman nodded before giving a sweet smile.

"He'll be ready in a few minutes hun. But to make sure you are being truthful, I'd like to see your ID please." she said gently as I murred under my breath. Was she that blind? I mean look at us! Well sure my hair was styled abit differently and was a dirty blonde whereas my brother was a ravenette with gold eyes..but hell in the face it was hard to tell us apart! Still though I obliged with the woman's instructions and fished around my baggy pants pockets before bringing out my wallet. Flipping it open I then showed her the ID where my face was in full view smiling happily along with my info etc. Though my ID was nothing like my brother's..where he had chosen to give off a twisted insane grin with his head tilted awkwardly. The full picture had him flipping the bird..but the ID photographer chose to edit that out much to my brother's protests. Yeah my brother was a wild card, he was always up to no good or if it wasent that...he was hitting on girls that had daddy issues. Then again there is always a black sheep of the family; no pun intended. But hey he was my twin, and twins stick together...no matter how psycho or mischievous the one is. Plus someone has to bail him out of jail hehe...

"Ok your information checks out deary, go wait over there and he'll be out in abit. He's still napping from his treatment with the painkillers and laughing gas." The woman then said as I paled some before I nodded, heading over towards the only available seat. Painkillers AND gas? Oh boy not good. Vanitas's immune system was very strong like most purebloods, so they probly had to add the laughing gas to really knock him out during the procedure..which means it would take longer for his drug induced state to wear off. Meaning I'd have to really watch him when we headed off to find mom. Vanitas was mostly good in public if not alittle anti-social...well unless he was around a tight top and pretty skirt with a pair of fine legs. But who knows how he would act all loopy? I dreaded the thought as I skimmed through a boring Red Book Magazine while an elderly man snored loudly as he sat next to me. Was he drooling too? Dear lord I hoped he hadnt drooled on this book that I picked up. Yeah im abit of a germaphobic, sue me. I gained this fear when a certian masked menace had a cold and chose to sneeze on me of all people. How that snot got through that mask's eyehole still puzzels me to this day.

I heard the door open to the office and glanced up, sweatdropping when I saw a slightly taller ravenette stagger and wobble through the door, weaving some as his hood on his baggy black sweater with a smiling skull and crossbones on the back of it hid his spiked locks. The dentist was trying to keep him from falling as he growled abit in annoyance. The balding dentist cast his eyes my way and sighed in relief..he didnt need an ID to see that we were related unlike the annoying secretary. I only got more concerned when he literally but gently sent Vanitas my way.

"He's still abit woozy. But we had to put alot in him so he couldnt feel the pain so I hope he isnt driving." The man said jokingly as I chuckled waving a dismissive hand, taking Vanitas's arm in my hand.

"I hope he wasnt much trouble. Van isnt a fan of these places after all." I exclaimed as the man shook his head.

"Oh I've had worse done to me no worries. Though im still hurting abit..boy's got good reflexes let's just say." The dentist said..and from the way he put it I knew where Vanitas kicked him. Hell he kicked anyone there if they gave him the chance. He didnt earn the name "Nutcracker" for being in a ballet after all.

"Right, well sorry about that. I'll take him off your hands for ya. Later and put some ice on that!" I said, waving as I dragged Vanitas out of the dentist office as he growled more, flailing though hardly putting up a fight. This was no doubt due to how weakened he became from the drugs.

"Dammit Van, you better hope the dentist doesnt tell ma or dad about this. The guy was only helping you after all." I scolded in that big brother tone of mine I always used on him when he misbehaved. The younger ravenette just scowled and started to finally walk properly beside me; though he still wobbled with the appearence of looking drunk.

"Eat my @$$; dude didnt warn me he was using a damn drill! And you know how I am about sharp pointy things coming near me." Vanitas hissed out as I murred.

"Yeesh your as bad as dad sometimes. And what do you expect was going to happen after downing a whole ten foot tall chocolate rabbit?!" I retorted as he looked away innocently, tucking his hands into his pockets; a trait he had when he knew he was in trouble. I've seen him do this countless times when mom or dad chewed him out.

"Shaddup, I won that rabbit fair and square off Sae in a poker game! And since I couldnt eat her I decided to go after the rabbit with the same ferver. After all it was her chocolate rabbit you know." He explained, a hint of lust in his tone as he gave a slight grin explaining this. "Plus I had to eat it all in one setting cause Tobi was eyeing it up. You know how that moron is about candy." he then added afterwards. I just huffed and shook my head in irritation.

"Well this is the price you pay for being paranoid and a lovesick puppy over Sae's things." I replied, oofing when Vanitas shoved me and sent me a scatching glare.

"Dont like the truth then blog about it." I then replied as he just flipped me the bird, however he faceplanted afterwards, due to his weak balance from the drugs as I had to keep from laughing. Ah karma, she is a cruel mistriss. Hiding my smile, I leaned down and hoisted him up as he wobbled more.

"Eat my @$$." Was his only response, he knew I was amused by his blunder, then again twins always could read each other with ease. I just shrugged off his comment as we headed into Wal-mart. I was a few steps ahead of my twin as I entered the large store. I looked around at all the vast aisles of things ranging from hardware all the way to makeup and cosmetics and even furniture. Everything except walls that is. Damn this place was as big as a mall! No it could probly eat up a whole mall and fart out three mini Wal-marts that are still bigger than the mall.

"Welcome to Wal-mart sir!" A spunky brunette said, standing a few paces to my left as I yelped and jumped, getting into a karate stance before I sweatdropped looking to the male. He was apparently a worker due to his matching blue uniform with the smiley on his nametag that read "Mark" I eyed him a few moments before shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Er...hi? I'm not a shoplifter or anything so you dont have to wait for me at the entrance or anything." I said with a puzzeled expression as the man chuckled shaking his head.

"No no im a greeter sir. Havent you ever been to a Wal-mart? We have greeters who help you around and give you carts." he explained in that peppy voice of his as I sweatdropped.

"You..get paid to greet people? And no I havent been here before....anyway did you see a tall raven haired woman and a shorter raven haired girl with blonde bangs come through here?" I asked as the man thought for a few minutes before nodding.

"Yes I did sir...they went towards the Mcdonalds down that way." He said, pointing towards the west as I blinked.

"They have a McDonalds here!? Damn this place has everything." I said before I started to walk in said direction. I stopped short before I realized my twin menace wasnt at my side. Dang where was he? I looked around a few times, calling out for him until I heard a light cough.

"Erm sir...is that who you are looking for?" the greeter Mark asked, pointing towards the entrance and exit doors where Vanitas was in plain view...trying to shove open an automatic exit door, cursing and scowling all the while. I facepalmed; great the drugs were messing with his head. I thanked the man before I made my way towards the exit, sweatdropping when said doors swung open and knocked Vanitas on his @$$ with little effort. Sighing, I helped him up and dragged him into the store, passing by another greeter as I tuned them out and headed towards the west end of the store. Once at the McDonalds, I searched the faces and people's profiles but to no avail mom and Nina were MIA. Great mom must have relocated, and god knows where the dang clothes section was in this huge store. I heard my stomach growl as I eyed the dollar menu. I had a few bucks on me and I so I decided a quick bite wouldnt hurt. Maybe a thing of chicken nuggets. I just hoped Van wouldnt make that damn "Cannibal!" statement he loved to use on me soo much whenever I ate poultry related foods. For you see, him and our friends have this amusing notion that my hair is styled like a rooster's frill, hence the reason they toss countless chicken or rooster jokes my way. Well if he did, I would just point out I can eat at the moment unlike him and show how much I enjoyed the food. That would show him. Sitting the ravenette down who looked rather groggy, I turned and got in line then. After ordering the chicken nuggets eight minutes later I returned to the spot where I left Vanitas...only to find he was gone. Crap!

"Vanitas?...Van, ey Van where are ya?! Hellluuu?" I asked, looking around franticly now as I sweatdropped. Not good, who knows what he was up to? No calm down...maybe he just had to go to the bathroom. Turning I rushed over to where I saw one of the many placed bathrooms, bypassing another greeter that wanted to know if I needed directions. How many of these guys were there?! And I seriously hope they didnt greet or asked questions to people after they got out of the bathroom...as in "Did you enjoy our faclities?" or something to that extent. Making my way in, I looked under all the stalls. Damn no sign of him. I just prayed he was in the right state of mind...after all he was unpredictable when drugged up. I knew this after he had to go through an operation to get stitched up after a nasty run in with a certian silver haired asshole's sword. And I mean unpredictable as in he streaked through Amestris screaming that racoons stole his penis. And when some bold people pointed out that it was obviously there..he called them perverts and ran off screaming rape. He was just fortunate he didnt cross paths with Sae that day...or he really would be missing his goods. Making my way out of the bathroom I shoved past the same greeter from a few moments earlier as I continued walking. "Yes my number 2 was very good and you have wonderful toilets now excuse me im busy!" I called when the person tried to pester me. Thankfully that stopped them in their tracks as I continued on my way, searching for my menace of a second half.

I was searching through the vacuum cleaner section when I heard an elderly lady cry out in surprise. I looked up and headed over towards that direction, trying to peer over the insanely tall shelves. Dammit, why did I have to be cursed with dad's migitism while Van got mom's height?! Life just wasnt fair in the genetics department. Straining my neck and standing on a few boxes, I saw the woman run down the aisle ahead as...a flying teapot chased after her, spewing steam at her as it fluttered along in a drunken fashion. Yup this was Van's work. You see, Vanitas had a gift where he could turn anything he wanted into a minion. Or he could think up something if he put his mind to it and it would come into reality to serve him. It was a rare and unique gift..and Vanitas could abuse the hell out of it if he wanted to. Hell one time when he got pissed at dad; he siced a giant demonic cow on him. And dont get me started on what things he thought up after playing Dead Space..i still have nightmares; cruel bastard sending a zombie baby into my room while I slept. Jumping over the shelf, I quickly landed on the teapot, oofing when i crushed it under my weight as the lady continued running. "You're welcome." I muttered as I got up then and headed towards the next aisle, where more chaos was ensuing.

"Help, evil waffle iron!" A man yelled, dashing off as said object was leaping after him, clacking it's jaws in an attempt to bite his hindquarters whereas a blender and canopener had another woman cornered. I yanked the waffle iron away from the dude by it's cord before slamming it into the blender and canopener, knocking them all out of commission as I continued running. Now I had reached the funiture and other utlities aisles. A lazyboy recliner had a large man caught in it's seat and a ceiling fan was chasing two younger kids about. I gave a heavy sigh, this was going to be a long day. Puffing my chest up, I made a mad dash towards the recliner and using my telekinesis, knocked it onto it's side as the man rolled out and scrambled off. I didnt know fat guys could move that quickly. Next was the fan, turning I chased after it and blasted another round of tk at it, sending it flying off course as it crashed into a runaway sofa, stopping it in it's tracks. However I failed to see the next thing sneak up on me. I turned when I heard a gutteral growl, but before I could get a good look at it, the thing clamped it's lid down on my head and shoved my face into it's seat as I flailed yelping. I didnt know what it was at first as I panicked and trying to yank myself out, feeling around for a spot to get a good grip for leverage. It wasent until a few moments of groping about til I realized what had seized me up in it's 'jaws'...a toilet.

"Oh please be brand new!" I begged, straining now as I fought with all my being to pry head out of this thing. I must have been giving the security camaras one hell of a show. I swear if this got put on the internet or on Smoking gun's world dumbest...Van would be pushing up daises after I got my hands on him. Focusing abit of my strength, I then managed to ram the toilet against a nearby wall, stunning it..so to speak before I jerked my head free as I then turned and dashed off growling. "You're going to pay for this Van." I hissed out. I knew for a fact he had planned that stunt in his drug induced state; knowing how freaked out I got about germy things. After stopping an insane grandfather clock, and a few rouge chairs along the way, it seemed things were calming down abit. Van's powers must have been wearing out. That or his brain stopped working properly.

"Dammit Van where are you?!" I hollared, yelping then when I slipped on something slimey and faceplanted hard into the floor's smooth surface. Groaning I looked up to see a banana peel..oh you got to be kidding me. I didnt know what was worse; Vanitas placing such a predictable cartoon cliche trap..or me falling for it. Sitting up, I rubbed my head a few times before I blinked and glared, jumping up when I saw a certian hoodied male with his back to me, perching ontop of the banana bin as he nibbled away on said fruit, people sending him weird or confused looks. And it didnt help things when he threw said peels at them, or infront of their carts as a few didnt see him and spun out, falling over one another in a massive pile up. This caused him to give off that creepy laugh of his, yup he was in the 'cause as much chaos as possible' state of mind. Wonderful. "VANITAS!" I hollared, this caused him to jump abit as he turned around and looked for the source of the voice. He grinned that goofy evil grin of his when he saw me dash towards him as he laughed and did a backflip over the Wal-mart Logo cardboard cutout behind the banana bin. I made my way around it, nearly catching him by the back of his hood, only for the sneak to then vanish in a black haze. "Dammit Vanitas when I get my hands on you!" I growled out, punching the cardboard cutout behind me in frustration. I heard an angry snarl as I blinked, looking about. It wasent until the sign turned around and snarled at me again til I sweatdropped...looking up at the now twisted evil smiley face upon the cutout that had two rows of jagged sharp teeth that dripped with salivia.

"I really hate Vanitas now." I mewed out, screaming as I dashed off, the cutout hot on my tail as people ran to get out of our way. Ten minutes later and many twists and turns later to avoid said smiley face of doom, I found myself in the grocery aisle. I noticed Vanitas had been here too, due to his little 'Flood' unverse minions running about the top shelves. Some were simply knocking stuff over, causing the cans or food to land on unaware shopper's heads. That or the more mischievous ones were putting tampoons in single male's carts and condemns or vagasil in other older male's carts. I couldnt help but chuckle inwardly at the surprised and embarressed expressions some of the guys gave off when seeing these items fall into their carts, right when women would walk past and notice too. I managed to chase off a few of the floods, but the others just poofed away; hopefully they wouldnt alert Vanitas to my location cause I had to ambush him. Last thing I wanted was another creepy @$$ cutout to chase me down. Or worse, another evil toilet.

Moving towards the clothing aisle, I murred shaking my head. Van was no doubt here...considering every time a cute girl walked past a clothing rack, a voice sang out "Pick me! Pick me!" That or a hand holding a mirror would move out under the rack if she was wearing a skirt. Luckily I didnt have to do anything since the next girl he tried this on, yanked him out by his hair as he flailed. He gave her a sheepish grin when she sent him a death glare while he hid the mirror behind his back. But when she went to deck him, he simply evaporated in a puff of smoke. Damn a clone, figures it wouldnt be that easy to find him. I did know he had to be nearby though, he was very much like Quagmire when it came to stalking girls about. So...he had to be near the changing stations. Making my way inside, I looked about the stalls. I really didnt want to have to look under them. So instead I opted to knock on them. I got a few female responses, mostly rude. When I was near the third to the last one, I sweatdropped when I heard a cry of horror as Vanitas bolted off the top of the last stall, rubbing at his eyes.

"Agh you aint a chick! Tranny trap!!" he hollared, pointing towards the last stall as he continued rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. The 'woman' so to speak peeked out huffing.

"You jus jealous you aint got a bod like this lil man. Imma real woman unlike yous!" 'she' said in a cocky tone before shutting the door again. I grinned, thanks to the blindsiding, this was my chance. I dove after my dazed brother, but dammit just my luck some girl had to open one of her doors to see the commotion, slamming my face into the door like something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Seeing nothing but stars, I fell backwards as I groaned hearing Van's confident laugh as his footsteps were followed soon afterwards. Forcing my pain aside, I got up and chased after him, luckily he wasent teleporting away this time, giving me a chance to catch him. We made our way into the health and cosmetics section again as Vanitas skillfully leapt over shopper's carts with the skill of a gymist, while I clumsily crashed into them or had to swerve to avoid collisions. Dammit I had to learn how to do more parkour in my free time. I started to gain on him alittle, only to yelp failing when the sneak had grabbed a thing of tampoons and ripped them open, before flinging them at me like lethal daggers.

"Ack Gross Van!!" I yelled, freaking as I dodged and ducked them the best I could...though i felt bad for the man behind me who got the brunt of most of them. However I got blindsided when he clocked me with a large tube of vagisil before he cackled and leapt over the aisle's shelf, dashing off again. Forcing the sick feeling away, I brushed the exploded bottle off my shirt and pants the best I could. "I'm going to force feed him a tube of this stuff I swear it." I growled out, feeling my temper flaring even more as I made my way into the next aisle..where my twin was terrorizing a woman and her children, foaming at the mouth. Well it appeared that way, but really it was whip cream he had on his face. He cackled when they dashed off screaming before pulling out said can of whip cream, downing more of it. I glared and grabbed a box of frozen waffles, pulling a few out before winging them at the back of his head like a frisbee as he oofed and faceplanted. I then pounced on him, proceeding to hit him with the box as he growled and tried to yank em away. "Leggo my Eggos!" I hollared...wow did I just say that? I gotta stop watching soo much tv. I failed to notice him grab a pinapple, as he dogslapped me with it before he got up and scampered off laughing..all the while singing the spongebob squarepants themesong, but with his own twist to the words.

"Whooo gets slapped by a pineapple under the seeeeeeeea? VENTUS ELRIC!" He sang out as I twitched glaring. God I was going to murder him. We made our way into the pet section, Vanitas was a few good yards ahead of me unfortunatly. Using his fast reflexes, he leapt over a nearby register and grabbed the microphone, tapping it a few times.

"Attention shoppers, attention shoppers....testicles..that is all."

"VAN!!" I hollared, twitching as I closed in on his location.

"We have a wet blanket on aisle five, wet blanket on aisle five!" Vanitas then added with a snicker, leaping out of harm's way moments before I could tackle him, as instead I faceplanted into the register. Scowling I regained my focus and moved around the counter, chasing after the insane ravenette once more.

"HELP RAPE, RAPE, HE WANTS MY CHERRY!" Vanitas then hollared to those he passed by while pointing towards me, causing me to eep and stumble, giving him time to get space further between us.
I started to panic some when he started to gain speed. But to my luck I noticed a skateboard display off to the right. Grinning I grabbed a nice sized one and jumped on it, pushing it forward a few paces as I closed in on him. Then at the last moment I kicked off it as it sped forward, catching Vanitas's feet under it as he lost control and yelled, crashing into a display of fish food.

"You're corned Van...im going to murder you, bury you, revive you, and murder you again. And not all the flounder or angel fish in the world can save you." I sad darkly as I stood over him and cracked my knuckles, giving him a demonic evil grin as he meeped, looking terrified for once. Looking about, he then grinned before grabbing a bottle of fish food, spilling it all over me as I blinked and sweatdropped. "Wow really...that's it? How path- ACK!" I yelped, flailing franticly when out of the blue, the fishes in the nearby tanks leapt from their watery prisons, clamping down on me. And to make matters worse, Vanitas then smirked wickedly and kicked down a tank of baby sharks and pirahna which was right above my head...this just wasent my day. Running about screaming as the little fiends snacked on my poor flesh, I failed to see Vanitas get knocked out by someone holding a salmon. And next thing I knew, said salmon was getting slapped into my face before everything went black. I woke to find myself back in the car...mother and father glaring darkly at me as I ulped. Glancing to my left I saw Vanitas out cold in the backseat while Nina sat at my right giggling.

"I'm in trouble...arent I?" I mewed out as dad nodded while Nina grinned evilly. She knew I was in trouble and was loving it, ugh if she wasent my baby sister I'd have kicked her.

"Your father told you to simply take Vanitas with you into Wal-mart and find us. Not cause world war three!" Mom said in an both an annoyed but angry voice as Nina looked away, to prevent getting yelled at too.

"I did! He's the one that took off and caused all that chaos! I was simply trying to catch his crazy drugged @$$! Besides the dentist is the one to blame, if he hadnt used soo many painkillers on Vanitas the worst he would have done was peep on the girls at the changing stations!" I said defensivly. Mom still didnt look satisfied as she continued to glare.

"Yes but YOU were the one that was supposed to WATCH him! That kind greeter Mark told me you left Vanitas alone for eight minutes to get something to eat and that's when he ran off when the drugs started to effect him. So dont think this is all your brother's fault. Yes he is in trouble too but he'll get his lecture when he wakes up." Mom said angerily as I flinched. Note to self...murder Mark with a rabid chipmunk next time I see him.

"Now hold on hun, a guy's gotta eat. Besides Vanitas was drugged up when this happened so not like he did it all on purpose." Dad then pointed out, flinching when mom sent her seething look his way then.

"Dont you try to defend them when they cause thousands of dollars of damage to a store we probly wont be able to go back into for awhile due to embarressment! And from what the workers told me, Vanitas peeped on a few of the girls and was sober enough to avoid Ventus for awhile before he got caught by me. So he did know abit of what was going on. And Ventus could have waited for me if he wanted something to eat since I had already bought some McDonalds for him and Vanitas before I headed to get the clothes." She retorted as I felt my cheeks flush. Wow I felt foolish. Damn stomach of mine, if only I had waited abit, then I wouldnt have been chasing this maniac all over the mega store. I then eeped when she sent those eyes toward me again.

"And you could have caught him in a less destructive way too! Honestly you boys can be such a headache sometimes." She sighed out, rubbing her forehead in frustation as I frowned and stared down at the floor.

"...sorry ma." I muttered out, feeling bad now as she then softened her glare before smiling.

"Well...apology accepted. But you are still going to have to pay that store off. And no skateboarding or tv for two months. And Edward, no transmuting him a skateboard either when im not looking." Mom then said, sending a playful glare my father's way as he waved his hands defensivly and grinned.

"H..hey no worries im on your side hun!" He meeped out. Dang even my lengendary alchemist and warrior of a father buckled under my mom's fury. But then again Shadow would always say when he would buckle it was due to not wanting to be 'denied' or having to sleep on the couch if he tried to side with us on punishments.

"Alright then. Now let's go home please." Sarah then said with a light sigh, leaning back as dad nodded and started up the engine, pulling out of the huge parking lot as I stared out the window with exhausted eyes; greatful to see that store be behind us now as I then closed my eyes.

"Hey sweetie, what's for dinner anyways? That is if Van and Ven left anything behind to eat in their destruction of the store." Dad then asked after a few minutes of silence passed as mother chuckled.

"Salmon."

I felt my stomach jump as I urped, recalling how I blacked out.

"Egh...I think I lost my appetite."

THE END



Well how did I do? Honest opinions please, and hopefully I tickled your funny bones aplenty. Now comment otherwise or I'll eat this muffin...I MEAN IT, IM NOT BLUFFING! >8O

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