Chapter 12 - The chapter that is actually chapter 15
Submitted October 12, 2006 Updated December 31, 2007 Status Complete | Drawn Together Survival That means: new characters, new rules, new challenges and a new container! ;)
Category:
Cartoons » Drawn Together |
Chapter 12 - The chapter that is actually chapter 15
Chapter 12 - The chapter that is actually chapter 15
In the previous chapter of Drawn Together Survival, we’ve seen the members fighting for their survival and later have lost their Drawn Together house, which sank in the deep of the waterfall including Princess Clara and Trevor Malone. But let us be honest: Who cares a frackin’ damn ‘bout dat mean, cheeky dog of a racist…?!
Felia: Foxxy? You host the show?
Foxxy: Damn right, fo’ shizzle ma nizzle!
Felia: But what happened to the author…?
Toot: I’ve shot her- Oopsie Tootsie! I said too much… (Blushes.)
Foxxy: It doesn’t matter, sugar: We gotsa find out, how we get outta dis place. Where’s da script?
Felia puts out the Drawn Together Survival script from her décolleté and hands it over to Foxxy.
Felia: There you go, Foxxy baby. The presenter hadn’t noticed anything. (snickers.)
Foxxy takes the script and reads it.
Foxxy: Thanks, sweety. Let’s see… Sex, sex, sex, sex, gay sex, sex, sex, sex, lesbian sex, sex, group sex, sex, drugs, excessive violence, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, bad jokes, pollution, animal tests, child abusing, stereotypes, world domination aaaaaaaaaaand… sex.
Toot: And no icecream? Noooooooooooo…!
Foxxy: I’ll go to da page where we lost our hood… Oh… Oh, Lord! Dis is horrizzlebizzle!
Toot: What’s happening? Tell me!
Foxxy: I dunno. Yo do not like it when I tell ya…
Toot: No donuts?! Nooooooooooo…!
Foxxy shakes her head for disappointment.
Felia: Rip up the pages-
Foxxy: I can’t do dat thing! It could cause a lotta trouble…
Felia: -and then you write down something different for the chapters. (smile.)
Silence.
Foxxy: Dat’s a brilliant idea, Felia! And others claim that blondes are stupid… (laughs.)
Felia: (laughs.) Exactly… Hey!
Toot: But don’t write anything filthy…
Some rewritten chapters later…
Intro:
Welcome back to our 15th episode of DRAWN TOGETHER SURVIVAL! Be the witness when 10 various characters from the whole cartoon universe forced to live in a villa with 5 floors, swimming pool, sauna, tennis court, torture chamber, a room to arrange pillow fights aaaaaaaaaaaaaand… a space station fighting for their SURVIVAL. Four of fourteen died already. The last one standing in the show gets 50.000.000$!!! Well? Isn’t that anything? Huh? HUH?! You are speechless now, aren’t you?! Ha, I bet you are!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* *cough* *cough*
Thrilling music in the background. All 10 characters will be introduced in seconds. The title DRAWN TOGETHER SURVIVAL is shown at the end. The new DRAWN TOGETHER villa is shown with all its details. Spanky, Foxxy and Xandir play Snooker, Felia prepares the meal and G-Bot and Captain Hero are chatting with Toot.
Toot: What do you guys want from me? I promised to help Felia with the cooking.
Toot in the cam-room:
Toot: I’m sorry but Felia prepares very strange meals for lunch. It’s always about the… Ah, what the hell! Take a look for yourself…
Flashback:
Everyone sits at the table and eats lunch.
Felia: So? Do you like the lunch I prepared?
Felia pushes a pickle in her mouth slowly and enjoys it. She chews the pickle and swallows it. All of the members look at Felia interrogative.
Felia: Vegetables contain many vitamins and very important nutrients the body needs daily.
Felia picks up a carrot and licks on it with joy.
Monkeyfist: I don’t know… (looks at its plate with pickles, asparagus, carrots and sausage.) Those possibly genetic manipulated stuff… thingies you humans call “food” already sickens me by looking at it…!
Xandir: Oh, it’s not that bad at all. (looks at the sausage and strokes it with the fork.)
Felia pushes the carrot in her mouth, out of her mouth, in her mouth, out of her mouth, in her mouth and eats it. Worried mumbling fills the air.
Felia: And for dessert there’re baked bananas with honey…
C. Hero: Oh, yeah… Give it to me… (drool.)
The table shakes a bit.
Xandir: Captain Hero, are you masturbating again?!
Felia is about to put the banana in her mouth. But…
Felia: Oh, it’s still too hot to eat it that way. And the sticky honey isn’t good for my fingers. It’s a good thing I remembered to bring these chopsticks! (giggles.)
Felia grabs the chopsticks and sticks them through the banana. Captain Hero slams his head on the table. The table gets broken.
End of flashback and back in the living-room:
C. Hero: Come on, Toot: I just want to prove G-Bot that I am able to carry you so I win the bet.
G-Bot: But we never talked about a bet and I believe without a doubt you are able to carry her-
C. Hero: (turning to G-Bot.) QUIET, CAN OF CRAP! (turning to Toot.) So, may I have the honor, please?
Toot: Hm… Okay, why not? But don’t burden yourself. Tee-hee-hee!
C. Hero: Oh, yeah. Let’s get to it…
Captain Hero rubs his hands. The next scene shows Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist sitting on the couch and watching TV. They’re watching a science-fiction movie. Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist laugh out loud.
Monkeyfist: It’s always amusing when those naive humans get killed by mentally invented creatures which could possibly not be able to live because of anatomic mistakes.
Ling-Ling: Duh-uh! That because is called “Science-Fiction”!
Monkeyfist: I tell you something, little hairy animal: They should have put it into the category “Comedy-Fiction”! (laughs very hard.) Look at that! Now that beast has bit off the humans head! Marvellous!
Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist laugh about the humans miseries. Wooldoor stands beside the sofa and watches Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist watchig TV.
Wooldoor in the cam-room:
Wooldoor: Monkeyfist isn’t that kind of girl who cares about cosmetics, shoes, celebrity couples or fragrant candles. She’s more the domineering, vigorous, scary, heartless, … (changing the mood.) funny, intelligent, open minded, brave, protecting type with a sense of very black humor. (sigh.) And I never dared to ask her for a date.
Back in the living-room:
As Wooldoor is about to sit on the couch, Monkeyfist suddenly turns to Wooldoor.
Monkeyfist: Hey, Wooldoor!
Wooldoor: (Gasp.)
Wooldoor takes a step backwards and is scared.
Monkeyfist: Whoa, how come you fear me? I just wanted to ask you if you have seen my robot slave.
Wooldoor: Oh… So G-Bot is not your… Pfff! (begins to laugh.)
Monkeyfist: (asking Ling-Ling.) What’s wrong with this unknown species?
Ling-Ling shrugs.
Wooldoor: Excuse me, but I thought G-Bot was your lover! (giggles.)
Monkeyfist: “Lover”? What’s that? Is that a synonym for “Slave”?
Ling-Ling: You wish. Love is just a way the sellers use to sell stuff that nobody actually needs.
Monkeyfist: Interesting…
Wooldoor: (shouting at Ling-Ling.) No, it’s not! (looking lovely at Monkeyfist.) May I sit next to you, please?
Monkeyfist: Why? What do you want?
Wooldoor: Um… Nothing. I just want to hang out with you. That’s all. (smiles.)
Monkeyfist: Hm… Fine. As long as you’re not a human, I accept you. You may sit down if you want.
Wooldoor: Weeeeeeee, I’m accepted!
Ling-Ling yawns and sleeps. Wooldoor happily hops on the top of the couch and prepares himself for a couch-diving next to Monkeyfist. Monkeyfist looks confused at Wooldoor.
Monkeyfist: So… Do you do that often?
Wooldoor: I don’t know what you’re talking about. (smiles.)
Monkeyfist: I mean that, uh, stuff… And such… (looking questioning.) Okay, another question: What are you? I have never ever seen such a strange creature as you in my current existence. You don’t seem to be an earth-inhabitant, are you?
Wooldoor: No, I’m not. I come from a place where happiness, peace and harmony filled the clouds once…
Monkeyfist: Very, uh… What was that word again? Oh, yes: Nice.
Wooldoor: Thanks. My race used to live with the sweetcakes. But since the sweetcakes took over the clouds and killed everyone I know, I’m forced to live here on earth.
Monkeyfist: Oh. I’m so sorry about that, Wooldoor. So you must be the only one, uh…?
Wooldoor: Yes, I’m the only one sockbat left…
Monkeyfist: If I can cheer you up, I’ll plan to take over the clouds and slay those nasty swwwwweetcakes.
Wooldoor: Why do you want to do that, Monkeyfist?
Monkeyfist: Because, uh… I want to make you feel better…? What was that word again I don’t use that much? That’s it: Friends. Friends help each other, right? And if somebody causes you trouble, I make them suffer and wish they were never born!
Wooldoor: Thanks, you’re so kind. And where do you come from? You must have come from very far away.
Monkeyfist: Yes, it’s true. I’m a quirken and come from main planet “Quirk”!
Wooldoor: Are you serious? What are the other planets you quirkens inhabit?
Monkeyfist: “Inhabit”? You must mean “Intruded and then invaded”!!! My race has taken over many planets, I stopped counting by 8000!
Wooldoor: What is the meaning of taking over other planets?
Monkeyfist: Recourses, my friend. Recourses.
Wooldoor: I’m not sure if you feel offended by this question I want to ask you, but do all of the quirkens look as cute as you? – Please don’t hurt me!! (winces.)
Monkeyfist: “Cute”? I’m sorry but that word doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. Most of my comrades are much taller and stronger… But not as smart and amazing as I am of course. (grins proudly.)
Wooldoor: I guess it doesn’t matter that much, if you know that word… (sweats.) And… Um… (scratches himself.)
Monkeyfist: Yes?
Wooldoor: Do you have a boyfriend?
Monkeyfist: … What about you?
Captain Hero and G-Bot throw Toot around the living-room.
C. Hero: Here, G-Bot! Catch!
Captain Hero throws Toot at G-Bot.
Toot: Not so wild, you guys!
G-Bot catches Toot.
G-Bot: I got her!
Monkeyfist stands up and is upset.
Monkeyfist: WHAT THE SPOOT IS WRONG WITH YOU, PRIMITIVES!?! I DEMAND AN EXPLAINING, G-BOT!
C. Hero: Don’t worry, little ugly alien. We take good care of Toot-
Monkeyfist: I don’t mean that! G-Bot, you let Toot down. Now!
G-Bot: Okay… (puts Toot down.)
As Toot’s butt hits the floor, the house begins to shake. Ling-Ling wakes up and is scared. Everyone holds on to any piece of furniture. Slowly the earthquake stops and Toot stands up. She blushes embarrassed. Ling-Ling looks angry.
Ling-Ling: Why you Americans always have to be so loud?! It’s for rest of world hard enough to follow the Kyoto-protocol when you still fart without any break!!
Toot farts loudly.
Toot: Oopsie tootsie! I can’t control it… (giggles.) I better go help Felia now.
Toot leaves the living-room.
C. Hero: My super-senses tell me there’s a super hot chick in trouble. I better go about my duty and fly at ol’ Mac Donald’s farm! (Picking up a basket and singing.) E – I – E – I – O! (flying through a wall and away.)
Monkeyfist: Life-forms like him make it hard for me not to throw up big chunks in public.
Wooldoor: I know what you mean. What’s up with superheros and wearing tights anyways?
Monkeyfist: Come along, G-Bot: It’s time for your repair.
G-Bot: But I’m not broken, master!
Monkeyfist pulls G-Bot’s antenna out and keeps it.
Monkeyfist: Now you are. Come, follow me.
G-Bot: Yes, master!
Wooldoor: When will you come back, Monkeyfist?
Monkeyfist: Who knows…?
G-Bot and Monkeyfist leave the living-room. Ling-Ling and Wooldoor are the last ones sitting on the couch.
Ling-Ling: When some girl says “Who knows?” then it means you will score with her tonight.
O… kay? Am I the only one who’s confused right now or what the heck is going on here? A villa with a space station? Felia and cooking? And Toot causing an earthquake?!?! … Well, the last one was obvious but I mean- Hello?! Okay, I need an aspirin right now. Stay tuned for chapter 16.
Xandir: 16?! I thought we were in the 12th chapter lately.
Foxxy: Yeah, we needed to skip da previous 3 chapters to escape from da wilderness, y’ know?
Xandir: So you mean that chapter 12 is actually chapter 15? I need an aspirin right now…
Felia: Foxxy? You host the show?
Foxxy: Damn right, fo’ shizzle ma nizzle!
Felia: But what happened to the author…?
Toot: I’ve shot her- Oopsie Tootsie! I said too much… (Blushes.)
Foxxy: It doesn’t matter, sugar: We gotsa find out, how we get outta dis place. Where’s da script?
Felia puts out the Drawn Together Survival script from her décolleté and hands it over to Foxxy.
Felia: There you go, Foxxy baby. The presenter hadn’t noticed anything. (snickers.)
Foxxy takes the script and reads it.
Foxxy: Thanks, sweety. Let’s see… Sex, sex, sex, sex, gay sex, sex, sex, sex, lesbian sex, sex, group sex, sex, drugs, excessive violence, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, bad jokes, pollution, animal tests, child abusing, stereotypes, world domination aaaaaaaaaaand… sex.
Toot: And no icecream? Noooooooooooo…!
Foxxy: I’ll go to da page where we lost our hood… Oh… Oh, Lord! Dis is horrizzlebizzle!
Toot: What’s happening? Tell me!
Foxxy: I dunno. Yo do not like it when I tell ya…
Toot: No donuts?! Nooooooooooo…!
Foxxy shakes her head for disappointment.
Felia: Rip up the pages-
Foxxy: I can’t do dat thing! It could cause a lotta trouble…
Felia: -and then you write down something different for the chapters. (smile.)
Silence.
Foxxy: Dat’s a brilliant idea, Felia! And others claim that blondes are stupid… (laughs.)
Felia: (laughs.) Exactly… Hey!
Toot: But don’t write anything filthy…
Some rewritten chapters later…
Intro:
Welcome back to our 15th episode of DRAWN TOGETHER SURVIVAL! Be the witness when 10 various characters from the whole cartoon universe forced to live in a villa with 5 floors, swimming pool, sauna, tennis court, torture chamber, a room to arrange pillow fights aaaaaaaaaaaaaand… a space station fighting for their SURVIVAL. Four of fourteen died already. The last one standing in the show gets 50.000.000$!!! Well? Isn’t that anything? Huh? HUH?! You are speechless now, aren’t you?! Ha, I bet you are!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* *cough* *cough*
Thrilling music in the background. All 10 characters will be introduced in seconds. The title DRAWN TOGETHER SURVIVAL is shown at the end. The new DRAWN TOGETHER villa is shown with all its details. Spanky, Foxxy and Xandir play Snooker, Felia prepares the meal and G-Bot and Captain Hero are chatting with Toot.
Toot: What do you guys want from me? I promised to help Felia with the cooking.
Toot in the cam-room:
Toot: I’m sorry but Felia prepares very strange meals for lunch. It’s always about the… Ah, what the hell! Take a look for yourself…
Flashback:
Everyone sits at the table and eats lunch.
Felia: So? Do you like the lunch I prepared?
Felia pushes a pickle in her mouth slowly and enjoys it. She chews the pickle and swallows it. All of the members look at Felia interrogative.
Felia: Vegetables contain many vitamins and very important nutrients the body needs daily.
Felia picks up a carrot and licks on it with joy.
Monkeyfist: I don’t know… (looks at its plate with pickles, asparagus, carrots and sausage.) Those possibly genetic manipulated stuff… thingies you humans call “food” already sickens me by looking at it…!
Xandir: Oh, it’s not that bad at all. (looks at the sausage and strokes it with the fork.)
Felia pushes the carrot in her mouth, out of her mouth, in her mouth, out of her mouth, in her mouth and eats it. Worried mumbling fills the air.
Felia: And for dessert there’re baked bananas with honey…
C. Hero: Oh, yeah… Give it to me… (drool.)
The table shakes a bit.
Xandir: Captain Hero, are you masturbating again?!
Felia is about to put the banana in her mouth. But…
Felia: Oh, it’s still too hot to eat it that way. And the sticky honey isn’t good for my fingers. It’s a good thing I remembered to bring these chopsticks! (giggles.)
Felia grabs the chopsticks and sticks them through the banana. Captain Hero slams his head on the table. The table gets broken.
End of flashback and back in the living-room:
C. Hero: Come on, Toot: I just want to prove G-Bot that I am able to carry you so I win the bet.
G-Bot: But we never talked about a bet and I believe without a doubt you are able to carry her-
C. Hero: (turning to G-Bot.) QUIET, CAN OF CRAP! (turning to Toot.) So, may I have the honor, please?
Toot: Hm… Okay, why not? But don’t burden yourself. Tee-hee-hee!
C. Hero: Oh, yeah. Let’s get to it…
Captain Hero rubs his hands. The next scene shows Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist sitting on the couch and watching TV. They’re watching a science-fiction movie. Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist laugh out loud.
Monkeyfist: It’s always amusing when those naive humans get killed by mentally invented creatures which could possibly not be able to live because of anatomic mistakes.
Ling-Ling: Duh-uh! That because is called “Science-Fiction”!
Monkeyfist: I tell you something, little hairy animal: They should have put it into the category “Comedy-Fiction”! (laughs very hard.) Look at that! Now that beast has bit off the humans head! Marvellous!
Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist laugh about the humans miseries. Wooldoor stands beside the sofa and watches Ling-Ling and Monkeyfist watchig TV.
Wooldoor in the cam-room:
Wooldoor: Monkeyfist isn’t that kind of girl who cares about cosmetics, shoes, celebrity couples or fragrant candles. She’s more the domineering, vigorous, scary, heartless, … (changing the mood.) funny, intelligent, open minded, brave, protecting type with a sense of very black humor. (sigh.) And I never dared to ask her for a date.
Back in the living-room:
As Wooldoor is about to sit on the couch, Monkeyfist suddenly turns to Wooldoor.
Monkeyfist: Hey, Wooldoor!
Wooldoor: (Gasp.)
Wooldoor takes a step backwards and is scared.
Monkeyfist: Whoa, how come you fear me? I just wanted to ask you if you have seen my robot slave.
Wooldoor: Oh… So G-Bot is not your… Pfff! (begins to laugh.)
Monkeyfist: (asking Ling-Ling.) What’s wrong with this unknown species?
Ling-Ling shrugs.
Wooldoor: Excuse me, but I thought G-Bot was your lover! (giggles.)
Monkeyfist: “Lover”? What’s that? Is that a synonym for “Slave”?
Ling-Ling: You wish. Love is just a way the sellers use to sell stuff that nobody actually needs.
Monkeyfist: Interesting…
Wooldoor: (shouting at Ling-Ling.) No, it’s not! (looking lovely at Monkeyfist.) May I sit next to you, please?
Monkeyfist: Why? What do you want?
Wooldoor: Um… Nothing. I just want to hang out with you. That’s all. (smiles.)
Monkeyfist: Hm… Fine. As long as you’re not a human, I accept you. You may sit down if you want.
Wooldoor: Weeeeeeee, I’m accepted!
Ling-Ling yawns and sleeps. Wooldoor happily hops on the top of the couch and prepares himself for a couch-diving next to Monkeyfist. Monkeyfist looks confused at Wooldoor.
Monkeyfist: So… Do you do that often?
Wooldoor: I don’t know what you’re talking about. (smiles.)
Monkeyfist: I mean that, uh, stuff… And such… (looking questioning.) Okay, another question: What are you? I have never ever seen such a strange creature as you in my current existence. You don’t seem to be an earth-inhabitant, are you?
Wooldoor: No, I’m not. I come from a place where happiness, peace and harmony filled the clouds once…
Monkeyfist: Very, uh… What was that word again? Oh, yes: Nice.
Wooldoor: Thanks. My race used to live with the sweetcakes. But since the sweetcakes took over the clouds and killed everyone I know, I’m forced to live here on earth.
Monkeyfist: Oh. I’m so sorry about that, Wooldoor. So you must be the only one, uh…?
Wooldoor: Yes, I’m the only one sockbat left…
Monkeyfist: If I can cheer you up, I’ll plan to take over the clouds and slay those nasty swwwwweetcakes.
Wooldoor: Why do you want to do that, Monkeyfist?
Monkeyfist: Because, uh… I want to make you feel better…? What was that word again I don’t use that much? That’s it: Friends. Friends help each other, right? And if somebody causes you trouble, I make them suffer and wish they were never born!
Wooldoor: Thanks, you’re so kind. And where do you come from? You must have come from very far away.
Monkeyfist: Yes, it’s true. I’m a quirken and come from main planet “Quirk”!
Wooldoor: Are you serious? What are the other planets you quirkens inhabit?
Monkeyfist: “Inhabit”? You must mean “Intruded and then invaded”!!! My race has taken over many planets, I stopped counting by 8000!
Wooldoor: What is the meaning of taking over other planets?
Monkeyfist: Recourses, my friend. Recourses.
Wooldoor: I’m not sure if you feel offended by this question I want to ask you, but do all of the quirkens look as cute as you? – Please don’t hurt me!! (winces.)
Monkeyfist: “Cute”? I’m sorry but that word doesn’t exist in my vocabulary. Most of my comrades are much taller and stronger… But not as smart and amazing as I am of course. (grins proudly.)
Wooldoor: I guess it doesn’t matter that much, if you know that word… (sweats.) And… Um… (scratches himself.)
Monkeyfist: Yes?
Wooldoor: Do you have a boyfriend?
Monkeyfist: … What about you?
Captain Hero and G-Bot throw Toot around the living-room.
C. Hero: Here, G-Bot! Catch!
Captain Hero throws Toot at G-Bot.
Toot: Not so wild, you guys!
G-Bot catches Toot.
G-Bot: I got her!
Monkeyfist stands up and is upset.
Monkeyfist: WHAT THE SPOOT IS WRONG WITH YOU, PRIMITIVES!?! I DEMAND AN EXPLAINING, G-BOT!
C. Hero: Don’t worry, little ugly alien. We take good care of Toot-
Monkeyfist: I don’t mean that! G-Bot, you let Toot down. Now!
G-Bot: Okay… (puts Toot down.)
As Toot’s butt hits the floor, the house begins to shake. Ling-Ling wakes up and is scared. Everyone holds on to any piece of furniture. Slowly the earthquake stops and Toot stands up. She blushes embarrassed. Ling-Ling looks angry.
Ling-Ling: Why you Americans always have to be so loud?! It’s for rest of world hard enough to follow the Kyoto-protocol when you still fart without any break!!
Toot farts loudly.
Toot: Oopsie tootsie! I can’t control it… (giggles.) I better go help Felia now.
Toot leaves the living-room.
C. Hero: My super-senses tell me there’s a super hot chick in trouble. I better go about my duty and fly at ol’ Mac Donald’s farm! (Picking up a basket and singing.) E – I – E – I – O! (flying through a wall and away.)
Monkeyfist: Life-forms like him make it hard for me not to throw up big chunks in public.
Wooldoor: I know what you mean. What’s up with superheros and wearing tights anyways?
Monkeyfist: Come along, G-Bot: It’s time for your repair.
G-Bot: But I’m not broken, master!
Monkeyfist pulls G-Bot’s antenna out and keeps it.
Monkeyfist: Now you are. Come, follow me.
G-Bot: Yes, master!
Wooldoor: When will you come back, Monkeyfist?
Monkeyfist: Who knows…?
G-Bot and Monkeyfist leave the living-room. Ling-Ling and Wooldoor are the last ones sitting on the couch.
Ling-Ling: When some girl says “Who knows?” then it means you will score with her tonight.
O… kay? Am I the only one who’s confused right now or what the heck is going on here? A villa with a space station? Felia and cooking? And Toot causing an earthquake?!?! … Well, the last one was obvious but I mean- Hello?! Okay, I need an aspirin right now. Stay tuned for chapter 16.
Xandir: 16?! I thought we were in the 12th chapter lately.
Foxxy: Yeah, we needed to skip da previous 3 chapters to escape from da wilderness, y’ know?
Xandir: So you mean that chapter 12 is actually chapter 15? I need an aspirin right now…
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