Chapter 18 - About a zombie and a llama
Submitted October 12, 2006 Updated December 31, 2007 Status Complete | Drawn Together Survival That means: new characters, new rules, new challenges and a new container! ;)
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Chapter 18 - About a zombie and a llama
Chapter 18 - About a zombie and a llama
Note: The members of Drawn Together Survival are on a BARE NAKED FRENZY for about 12 hours now. 36 hours remaining until the “punishment” is up.
Meanwhile Jmonay has arrived at the waterfall and is standing there with a big black book in his hand. Jmonay looks around.
Jmonay: Good… Nobody’s looking… Except for that stupid squirrel that is watching me for a short time…
The squirrel sits peacefully on an oak-tree and gnaws on an acorn.
Jmonay: Ey, haven’t you got a home, you little piece of fur?!
The squirrel cleans itself.
Jmonay: What do you want from me, you miscarriage?! Ey, I’m asking the questions here! I’m not crazy, you are! No, you are! No, you are! No, you are! What?! Should I tell you something, stupid crap?
The squirrel does nothing.
Jmonay: … Yo momma.
10 seconds of silence. Then the squirrel squeaks.
Jmonay: SHUT UP, YOU PISSCLOVE!!!
Jmonay throws a fireball at that squirrel. It burned up.
Jmonay: So! (Pant! Pant!) Does somebody else want to mess with me? (Pant! Pant!)
Jmonay sees a bunny jumping jolly… And he throws another fireball at that bunny. The bunny explodes.
Jmonay: And don’t say it ever again, you hear me?!
A sparrow chirps happily on a tree. Jmonay looks suspicious at it.
Jmonay: Do I know you?
The sparrow grows silent and flies away.
Jmonay: Probably that little shoothead has learned its lesson…
Jmonay opens his book and leafes through.
Jmonay: Hm, let’s see… Aha! There it is! „How to awake drowned people“. One of the last chapters I haven’t practised yet. Let’s get to it.
Jmonay closes that book and puts it down on the grass. He pulls his pants up and takes a few steps into the water. He puts out his samurai-sword and whispers something in an old foreign language. The water begins to wave and the wind blows through Jmonay’s black hair. The strange boy stabs with his samurai-sword into the water, but it sounds like, as if the blade would spear something bony. A long figure appears from the deep of the water and pulls out Jmonay’s sword of his back. It’s Trevor Malone as a zombie.
Jmonay: Kick @$$! It worked! And it’s one of the old Drawn Together Survival members! What was his name again…?
Z. Trevor: Ooooiiiiiii… (drools.)
Jmonay: No, no, no, for sure it wasn’t „Ooooiiiiiii“, but something familiar. Now I remember again! Trevor Malone! Oh, sweet! I’m very lucky! (is pleased.)
Zombie Trevor swings Jmonay’s sword around.
Z. Trevor: Cooooool…
Jmonay: Ey, give me my sword back! I still need it!
Zombie Trevor is about to stab Jmonay’s chest with that samurai-sword, but the boy avoided.
Jmonay: Dude, cut that sh*t out! You could poke someone’s eye with that!!
Z. Trevor: Good ideeaa… (grins.)
Jmonay: Hey, hey, forget what I said and just come with me.
Z. Trevor: Wheeeeeeeeereeeee…?
Jmonay: That doesn’t matter. You come with me, if you like it or not, because I’m your master now! Haha!
Z. Trevor: Not with me. I’m my own master. And now I’m going to save Clara…
Jmonay: Where is she?
Z. Trevor: That’s what I would like to know… (Scratches himself on the head. Leeches fall down from his head.)
Jmonay: Where has she been the last time when you saw her?
Z. Trevor: Gooooood question… (knocks the dirty water out of his ears.)
Jmonay: I’m sorry, but I can’t help you either.
Z. Trevor: That’s okay, kid. I’ll go home then…
Jmonay: That’s where I wanted to go too! Honestly I wanted to command you to let me in your property.
Z. Trevor: And whyyyyy…?
Jmonay: To become a member?
Z. Trevor: And whyyyyy…?
Jmonay: To hang with you guys? With the „chicks“?
Z. Trevor: … … … … …
Jmonay: „Ladies“? „Girls“? „Hot brides“?
Z. Trevor: … … …
Jmonay: WITH THE WOMEN!!
Z. Trevor: Ooooooh… But you’re not 18, midget.
Jmonay: Aw, come ooooon. Just for one day!
Z. Trevor: The presenter wont definitely allow you.
Jmonay: If you persuade him to let me join you for one day, you can ride on my Llama.
Z. Trevor: A Llama you say? Hhmmmm… Hhmmm… Hhmmm… Uuhh… (drool.)
Jmonay: So?
Z. Trevor: Is it cool?
Jmonay: He eats third-graders. (grins.)
Z. Trevor: Cooool…
Jmonay: Uh, can I have my sword back?
Z. Trevor: No.
Jmonay looks mad at Zombie Trevor. And so Zombie Trevor rides happily on Jmonay’s Llama, Cookie. Jmonay goes on feet and is happy about hanging out with Trevor Malone and hopes to join the rest of the Drawn Together Survival cast. They go down the street of downtown. The sun goes down slowly. The backgroundmusic of Iggy Pop’s „Passenger“ is playing.
Trevor sings:
I’m back to life again.
Thanks to a little boy.
Jmonay sings:
That boy is called Jmonay, my friend.
Trevor sings:
Anyways I’m full of life and joy.
Though I smell like Toot’s dirty @$$.
I must say I’m not some smart-@$$.
The people stare confused at us like crap.
Jmonay sings:
I think we rather should rap.
Trevor sings:
Bull-piss, fly-shoot,
sun-dried vomit,
menstruation-blood, and Jmonay is a little SL-
Jmonay aborts Trevor’s singing:
La La La La La-la-la-la!
La La La La La-la-la-la!
La La La La La-la-la-la La-la-la!
A group of third-graders run toward Cookie, Jmonay and Zombie Trevor.
A third-grader: Whoah, dude! What the crap are you, peeps?
Another third-grader: The dorks-convention is in the other direction…
Jmonay: THIRD-GRADERS!!!
Cookie: Brrr!
Cookie attacks the little third-graders. We’re sorry for not describing the next following scene, because it could cause under the circumstances nausea. We ask for your understanding. Thank you.
Z. Trevor: Your Llama sure is bloodthirsty. How did you teach him to eat little students?
Jmonay: „Teach“?! Hahahahahahahahaha!! That was a good joke, dude!
Jmonay taps Zombie Trevor on the shoulder. Trevor’s arm falls off. He looks at his fallen arm silently.
Jmonay: … Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to.
Z. Trevor: That’s okay. I have to sew it anyways… (picks up his arm.) So, there we-
Cookie, Jmonay and Zombie Trevor stand in front of the Drawn Together villa.
Z. Trevor: Ooooiiiiiiiii…
Jmonay: What’s wrong, Trev?
Z. Trevor: I can’t remember seeing this huge villa before.
Jmonay: So what can you still remember?
Z. Trevor: … I just know that I’m hungry. Hungry for… (The camera zooms to his face. Trevor’s voice gets deeper.) brains… (It’s lightening.) What was that?
Jmonay: Oops! Sorry. (smiles and hides his carbonized finger.) Damn, it starts to rain.
It’s midnight. Dark clouds cover the sky and it rains cats and dogs. – NO! CATS AND DOGS ARE NOT FALLING FROM THE SKY!! Sheesh! I mean really…
Z. Trevor: Maybe they’re all inside. Let’s goooooo…
Zombie Trevor staggers at the front door and knocks against it. Nobody comes.
Z. Trevor: Hello?! Anybody?!
Jmonay: Can’t you just use the doorbell?
Z. Trevor: Hmm… I don’t knoooow… I knock a bit harder… (hits his head against the door several times.)
Jmonay: I can’t take this dumbness anymore, I ring the bell-
As Jmonay rings the doorbell, he gets knocked out by a boxing-glove. He falls down. Cookie and Zombie Trevor point and laugh at him. Jmonay gets up.
Jmonay: F***ing slimesh*t! I’m going to destroy you!!
Jmonay throws a lightning-bolt at the door, so that it explodes. Jmonay is exhausted.
Z. Trevor: Cooooooool…
Jmonay: Uff! Now I’m exhausted…
Z. Trevor: Do your parents know about your magical powers?
Jmonay: Why should they care about it? My power is used up for today…
Z. Trevor: …
Zombie Trevor enters the DRAWN TOGETHER villa. The floor is made of marble and shines.
Z. Trevor: Cuuuuhrikey, the marble-floor is so clean you can eat on it… Oi, little boy! Come in!
Jmonay: (Groan!) Yes, allright. Stay here, Cookie.
Jmonay comes in and strolls on the smooth floor, but then he slips and falls down on his face.
Z. Trevor: Ha ha ha! You’re funny!
Jmonay: Yo momma.
While Jmonay and Zombie Trevor look around the villa, Foxxy and Toot play wild games with Captain Hero in the kitchen. He sits tied on a chair and his eyes are bound.Note: 24 hours remaining until the BARE NAKED FRENZY is up.
C. Hero: Oooh, you girls spoil me …
Foxxy: Now it’s getting’ sweet ’n’ sticky …
Foxxy pours a pot full of caramel over Captain Hero’s body.
C. Hero: Boah, you sex me up.
Toot: I’m not sure. I rather would describe it as waste of food. That good caramel … (mourning.)
Outside the kitchen you can hear slow steps.
Foxxy: Shht!
Toot: Have you closed the door, Foxxy?
Foxxy: It sounds like dere are strangers in our villa.
Toot: Hey, I asked you something, deafo!
Foxxy: As far as I know everythin’ is closed. Wait here til I’m back…
Toot: Okay…?
Foxxy sneaks out of the kitchen with a knife in her hand. Captain Hero strokes with his foot Toot’s hairy leg.
C. Hero: Hey, I didn’t know we have a dog here.
Will Jmonay’s parents find out, where their son is? Do they even care? How will the villa mates react when they see Trevor again? And since when was the last time when Toot shaved her legs?!
Toot: November 23rd, 1999!
That wasn’t even a real question but- (sigh.) Whatever. Be sure to check out chapter 19. ;)
Meanwhile Jmonay has arrived at the waterfall and is standing there with a big black book in his hand. Jmonay looks around.
Jmonay: Good… Nobody’s looking… Except for that stupid squirrel that is watching me for a short time…
The squirrel sits peacefully on an oak-tree and gnaws on an acorn.
Jmonay: Ey, haven’t you got a home, you little piece of fur?!
The squirrel cleans itself.
Jmonay: What do you want from me, you miscarriage?! Ey, I’m asking the questions here! I’m not crazy, you are! No, you are! No, you are! No, you are! What?! Should I tell you something, stupid crap?
The squirrel does nothing.
Jmonay: … Yo momma.
10 seconds of silence. Then the squirrel squeaks.
Jmonay: SHUT UP, YOU PISSCLOVE!!!
Jmonay throws a fireball at that squirrel. It burned up.
Jmonay: So! (Pant! Pant!) Does somebody else want to mess with me? (Pant! Pant!)
Jmonay sees a bunny jumping jolly… And he throws another fireball at that bunny. The bunny explodes.
Jmonay: And don’t say it ever again, you hear me?!
A sparrow chirps happily on a tree. Jmonay looks suspicious at it.
Jmonay: Do I know you?
The sparrow grows silent and flies away.
Jmonay: Probably that little shoothead has learned its lesson…
Jmonay opens his book and leafes through.
Jmonay: Hm, let’s see… Aha! There it is! „How to awake drowned people“. One of the last chapters I haven’t practised yet. Let’s get to it.
Jmonay closes that book and puts it down on the grass. He pulls his pants up and takes a few steps into the water. He puts out his samurai-sword and whispers something in an old foreign language. The water begins to wave and the wind blows through Jmonay’s black hair. The strange boy stabs with his samurai-sword into the water, but it sounds like, as if the blade would spear something bony. A long figure appears from the deep of the water and pulls out Jmonay’s sword of his back. It’s Trevor Malone as a zombie.
Jmonay: Kick @$$! It worked! And it’s one of the old Drawn Together Survival members! What was his name again…?
Z. Trevor: Ooooiiiiiii… (drools.)
Jmonay: No, no, no, for sure it wasn’t „Ooooiiiiiii“, but something familiar. Now I remember again! Trevor Malone! Oh, sweet! I’m very lucky! (is pleased.)
Zombie Trevor swings Jmonay’s sword around.
Z. Trevor: Cooooool…
Jmonay: Ey, give me my sword back! I still need it!
Zombie Trevor is about to stab Jmonay’s chest with that samurai-sword, but the boy avoided.
Jmonay: Dude, cut that sh*t out! You could poke someone’s eye with that!!
Z. Trevor: Good ideeaa… (grins.)
Jmonay: Hey, hey, forget what I said and just come with me.
Z. Trevor: Wheeeeeeeeereeeee…?
Jmonay: That doesn’t matter. You come with me, if you like it or not, because I’m your master now! Haha!
Z. Trevor: Not with me. I’m my own master. And now I’m going to save Clara…
Jmonay: Where is she?
Z. Trevor: That’s what I would like to know… (Scratches himself on the head. Leeches fall down from his head.)
Jmonay: Where has she been the last time when you saw her?
Z. Trevor: Gooooood question… (knocks the dirty water out of his ears.)
Jmonay: I’m sorry, but I can’t help you either.
Z. Trevor: That’s okay, kid. I’ll go home then…
Jmonay: That’s where I wanted to go too! Honestly I wanted to command you to let me in your property.
Z. Trevor: And whyyyyy…?
Jmonay: To become a member?
Z. Trevor: And whyyyyy…?
Jmonay: To hang with you guys? With the „chicks“?
Z. Trevor: … … … … …
Jmonay: „Ladies“? „Girls“? „Hot brides“?
Z. Trevor: … … …
Jmonay: WITH THE WOMEN!!
Z. Trevor: Ooooooh… But you’re not 18, midget.
Jmonay: Aw, come ooooon. Just for one day!
Z. Trevor: The presenter wont definitely allow you.
Jmonay: If you persuade him to let me join you for one day, you can ride on my Llama.
Z. Trevor: A Llama you say? Hhmmmm… Hhmmm… Hhmmm… Uuhh… (drool.)
Jmonay: So?
Z. Trevor: Is it cool?
Jmonay: He eats third-graders. (grins.)
Z. Trevor: Cooool…
Jmonay: Uh, can I have my sword back?
Z. Trevor: No.
Jmonay looks mad at Zombie Trevor. And so Zombie Trevor rides happily on Jmonay’s Llama, Cookie. Jmonay goes on feet and is happy about hanging out with Trevor Malone and hopes to join the rest of the Drawn Together Survival cast. They go down the street of downtown. The sun goes down slowly. The backgroundmusic of Iggy Pop’s „Passenger“ is playing.
Trevor sings:
I’m back to life again.
Thanks to a little boy.
Jmonay sings:
That boy is called Jmonay, my friend.
Trevor sings:
Anyways I’m full of life and joy.
Though I smell like Toot’s dirty @$$.
I must say I’m not some smart-@$$.
The people stare confused at us like crap.
Jmonay sings:
I think we rather should rap.
Trevor sings:
Bull-piss, fly-shoot,
sun-dried vomit,
menstruation-blood, and Jmonay is a little SL-
Jmonay aborts Trevor’s singing:
La La La La La-la-la-la!
La La La La La-la-la-la!
La La La La La-la-la-la La-la-la!
A group of third-graders run toward Cookie, Jmonay and Zombie Trevor.
A third-grader: Whoah, dude! What the crap are you, peeps?
Another third-grader: The dorks-convention is in the other direction…
Jmonay: THIRD-GRADERS!!!
Cookie: Brrr!
Cookie attacks the little third-graders. We’re sorry for not describing the next following scene, because it could cause under the circumstances nausea. We ask for your understanding. Thank you.
Z. Trevor: Your Llama sure is bloodthirsty. How did you teach him to eat little students?
Jmonay: „Teach“?! Hahahahahahahahaha!! That was a good joke, dude!
Jmonay taps Zombie Trevor on the shoulder. Trevor’s arm falls off. He looks at his fallen arm silently.
Jmonay: … Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to.
Z. Trevor: That’s okay. I have to sew it anyways… (picks up his arm.) So, there we-
Cookie, Jmonay and Zombie Trevor stand in front of the Drawn Together villa.
Z. Trevor: Ooooiiiiiiiii…
Jmonay: What’s wrong, Trev?
Z. Trevor: I can’t remember seeing this huge villa before.
Jmonay: So what can you still remember?
Z. Trevor: … I just know that I’m hungry. Hungry for… (The camera zooms to his face. Trevor’s voice gets deeper.) brains… (It’s lightening.) What was that?
Jmonay: Oops! Sorry. (smiles and hides his carbonized finger.) Damn, it starts to rain.
It’s midnight. Dark clouds cover the sky and it rains cats and dogs. – NO! CATS AND DOGS ARE NOT FALLING FROM THE SKY!! Sheesh! I mean really…
Z. Trevor: Maybe they’re all inside. Let’s goooooo…
Zombie Trevor staggers at the front door and knocks against it. Nobody comes.
Z. Trevor: Hello?! Anybody?!
Jmonay: Can’t you just use the doorbell?
Z. Trevor: Hmm… I don’t knoooow… I knock a bit harder… (hits his head against the door several times.)
Jmonay: I can’t take this dumbness anymore, I ring the bell-
As Jmonay rings the doorbell, he gets knocked out by a boxing-glove. He falls down. Cookie and Zombie Trevor point and laugh at him. Jmonay gets up.
Jmonay: F***ing slimesh*t! I’m going to destroy you!!
Jmonay throws a lightning-bolt at the door, so that it explodes. Jmonay is exhausted.
Z. Trevor: Cooooooool…
Jmonay: Uff! Now I’m exhausted…
Z. Trevor: Do your parents know about your magical powers?
Jmonay: Why should they care about it? My power is used up for today…
Z. Trevor: …
Zombie Trevor enters the DRAWN TOGETHER villa. The floor is made of marble and shines.
Z. Trevor: Cuuuuhrikey, the marble-floor is so clean you can eat on it… Oi, little boy! Come in!
Jmonay: (Groan!) Yes, allright. Stay here, Cookie.
Jmonay comes in and strolls on the smooth floor, but then he slips and falls down on his face.
Z. Trevor: Ha ha ha! You’re funny!
Jmonay: Yo momma.
While Jmonay and Zombie Trevor look around the villa, Foxxy and Toot play wild games with Captain Hero in the kitchen. He sits tied on a chair and his eyes are bound.Note: 24 hours remaining until the BARE NAKED FRENZY is up.
C. Hero: Oooh, you girls spoil me …
Foxxy: Now it’s getting’ sweet ’n’ sticky …
Foxxy pours a pot full of caramel over Captain Hero’s body.
C. Hero: Boah, you sex me up.
Toot: I’m not sure. I rather would describe it as waste of food. That good caramel … (mourning.)
Outside the kitchen you can hear slow steps.
Foxxy: Shht!
Toot: Have you closed the door, Foxxy?
Foxxy: It sounds like dere are strangers in our villa.
Toot: Hey, I asked you something, deafo!
Foxxy: As far as I know everythin’ is closed. Wait here til I’m back…
Toot: Okay…?
Foxxy sneaks out of the kitchen with a knife in her hand. Captain Hero strokes with his foot Toot’s hairy leg.
C. Hero: Hey, I didn’t know we have a dog here.
Will Jmonay’s parents find out, where their son is? Do they even care? How will the villa mates react when they see Trevor again? And since when was the last time when Toot shaved her legs?!
Toot: November 23rd, 1999!
That wasn’t even a real question but- (sigh.) Whatever. Be sure to check out chapter 19. ;)
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