Chapter 21 - Meanwhile...

While Foxxy Love and Felia Paed make sweet lesbian love in the hot tub, Spanky Ham, Xandir and Ling-Ling try out the training-room. Xandir is using the jumping-rope, Spanky is holding little dumbbells and Ling-Ling tries out his new abilities: You better don’t know about them now! :P

Xandir in the cam-room:

Xandir: Sure I could take the rest of the time we’ve got until the new assignment for some naughty homosex but I prefer to be physically fit to be prepared for the ultimate fight against my doppelganger. And another thing is that I’m the last standing homo in this villa since Captain Hero passed away. (looking sad. Sad piano playing in the background.)

In the training-room:

Spanky: Say, Ling-Ling: What’s up with being glad about health and honour?
Ling-Ling: Why you ask?
Spanky: It just seems to be fake to me. Don’t you really have bigger goals for this match or in your life to be general?
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling wants to earn honour because honour makes Ling-Ling more confident. And health is the goal for eternal life! (A light rises from the bottom of the background.) If that need isn’t fulfilled, Ling-Ling will-
Spanky: Allright, I’m sorry I asked…
Xandir: Spanky, do you think my butt is too big? (stops rope-jumping and shows Spanky his butt.)
Spanky: Don’t ask me this question if you’re a guy… Especially a gay guy!
Xandir: Come on, just say yes or no!
Spanky: You disgust me.
Xandir: Pleeeeeeeeeease! (makes puppy-eyes.)
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling says your butt embarrasses me! Happy now?
Xandir: …. No. (looking sad.)
Spanky: Why should anyone care about your appearance? You know you’re going to fight soon and there’s no place for thoughts like “Is my hairdo okay?” or “Does my sword fit to my outfit?”.
Xandir: But I always used to think that when I’ve been fighting against zombies or ghouls.
Spanky: You did? (raises his eyebrow.)
Xandir: Yes! By the way: Where’s Wooldoor? I thought he wants to join us and do some exercise.
Ling-Ling: Don’t ask. He tries to flirt with Intruder Monkeyfist.
Xandir: How cute! (smiles and giggles like a horny Japanese schoolgirl.)
Spanky: No, it’s not! (puts the dumbbells down angrily.)
Xandir: But I thought Wooldoor isn’t gay.
Spanky: Of course he isn’t!
Xandir: What a pity… (looking sad again.)

Spanky is approaching the door with anger.

Ling-Ling: Where you going?
Spanky: None of your business. It probably takes some time until I come back. (takes the chest-expander and leaves the room.)

Meanwhile Monkeyfist is experimenting with various liquids in it’s new secret lab. G-Bot is assistenting.

Monkeyfist: It’s done, G-Bot. Now that I’ve created the ultimate ammo for my brain-control-ray gun, I soon will be able to take over the whole show and they all will play under my rules!
G-Bot: I like to play. (takes out the empty ray gun and hands it over to Monkeyfist.)
Monkeyfist: I know, G-Bot. (fills the ray gun with a green glowing liquid.) The best part of it is that it’s not a weapon because it doesn’t harm anyone so it’s legal for me to keep that brain-control-ray gun.
G-Bot: That’s good thinking, my master. And thanks for upgrading my armour. Now I can roast my sandwich with this one… (holds his right arm forward and a flamethrower appears from the end of his arm.)
Monkeyfist: Save your fire for your enemy. All you have to do is to-

Someone is ringing at the door. The mainscreen turns on: “UNEXPECTED UNDEFINIED LIFEFORM APPROACHING!” Monkeyfist gasps.

Monkeyfist: How can this happen?! Nobody knows about my new secret lab, except for… G-BOT: DID YOU TELL SOMEONE ABOUT IT?!?!
G-Bot: I would never!! Well, that means: I can’t remember…

The mainscreen shows: “LIFEFORM IDENTIFIED. IT’S OBJECT: WOOLDOOR SOCKBAT.” Monkeyfist gasps again.

Monkeyfist: Why did you tell Wooldoor about it?!
G-Bot: I thought you wouldn’t mind, master…
Monkeyfist: That’s just great! Now I have to make him go away and forget what he knows about my secret lab before everyone knows about it… (takes out the brain-control-ray gun.) Timmeeeeeeeeeh: Activate the observance-cam!
Computer: Observance-cam activated.

The mainscreen shows Wooldoor in front of the camera. He smiles and waves. Monkeyfist looks a bit nervous.

Wooldoor: Hi, Monkeyfist! How are you?!
Monkeyfist: What do you want here? You aren’t supposed to know about my secret lab!
Wooldoor: I know, but G-Bot told me about your-
Monkeyfist: I KNOW!! Let’s get to business and tell me what you want!
Wooldoor: Can I come in? I’m bored as hell!
Monkeyfist: G-Bot: Open up the entrance for him. And make sure he won’t break something while he’s here.
G-Bot: Yes, master!

G-Bot flies to the entrance and lets Wooldoor in.

G-Bot: Hey, WD! What’s up? (shakes hands with Wooldoor.)
Wooldoor: Not much. I decided to visit your laboratory and see how you’re doing.
Monkeyfist: As you can see we’re fine and busy. G-Bot: Show him around while I’m fixing my boots I’m going to wear soon…
G-Bot: Okay! Come follow me-
Wooldoor: Nah, that’s okay: Actually I wanted to talk to you in private if you don’t mind, Monkeyfist…
Monkeyfist: Can’t you just decide before you choose to visit my second ex-secret lab?! (looks pissed off.)
Wooldoor: Uh, there’s something I should tell you before the battle begins and nobody else should know about it.
G-Bot: I know where it’s going… (crosses his arms and looks insulted.)
Monkeyfist: Watch the laboratory and make sure NOBODY ELSE tries to enter.
G-Bot: Yes, master… (leaves the lab, floating, and looks behind himself once before he finally leaves.)
Monkeyfist: Just follow my orders, robot slave.

The entrance is closed and G-Bot is outside. Monkeyfist is looking at Wooldoor.

Monkeyfist: Well…?
Wooldoor: Well, what I wanted to say is… Um… (looking nervous and sweating.)
Monkeyfist: Go on with it, I haven’t got all day.
Wooldoor: Okay, okay! I know it sounds kind of weird because we don’t know each other very well, but-
Monkeyfist: Don’t worry, Wooldoor: I actually know you very well because this primitive show is giving me the opportunity to find out all informations of you all. With this advantage I know all about your weaknesses and can manipulate all of you underlings.
Wooldoor: In other words it would be my pleasure to be your own private underling. (smiles with a bit of fear.)
Monkeyfist: Are you sure you’re feeling fine?

Wooldoor kneels in front of Monkeyfist. The alien is blushing and looks confused.

Wooldoor: I know you’ve got a bad reputation and you’re not always nice to other housemates but I don’t care: I know that somewhere deep in your heart is a little piece of kindness and care. Although you’re also loved by Spanky I somehow have got the feeling you feel the same for me like I feel the same for you…
Monkeyfist: Do you mean you also have got the need to rape me?
Wooldoor: … That means, if you don’t mind. Heheheh. (blushes and looks down for shame.)
Monkeyfist: Wooldoor, you’re so pathetic that it hurts. And it really sounds weird from a being like you. (crosses its arms.)

Wooldoor looks embarrassed.

Monkeyfist: I would never expect from a special creature like you that you ever would prefer a disgusting, ugly, hideous beast like me than everyone else. Do you think I’m an idiot not to realise that?! (looking mad at Wooldoor.)

Wooldoor looks up at Monkeyfist.

Wooldoor: I have no idea you would think that way.
Monkeyfist: I maybe don’t know what love is but I know when someone lies to me. Now I’m going to erase your memories… (holds its brain-control-ray gun in front of Wooldoor’s head.)

Suddenly Spanky comes in. Red lights are flashing in the laboratory. Annoying beeping fills the lab. Mainscreen turns on: “WARNING!! INTRUDER ALERT!!”

Monkeyfist: What an irony…
Spanky: WOOLDOOR!! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
G-Bot: I’m sorry, master, but I couldn’t stop him from breaking in! He gave me a cookie. (smiles.)
Wooldoor: (hides behind Monkeyfist and puts his arms around that alien.) I’M SORRY, MONKEYFIST!! I DIDN’T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND PROTECT ME FROM SPANKY!!! PLEEEEEEEEASE!!! (cries loudly.)

Spanky stands in front of Monkeyfist.

Spanky: Is Wooldoor bothering you, hun? (stretches the chest-expander a little.)
Monkeyfist: Don’t mind him, I was going to end this madness already. I don’t need your help for that.
G-Bot: Spanky, you have to leave now!
Wooldoor: You have to believe me, Monkeyfist! I’ll do everything for you! Just make Spanky go away, please! (sobs.)
Spanky: Don’t believe that moron! He’s as fake as everyone else in here! Except for you and me of course. (smiles aroused.)
Monkeyfist: Stop manipulating me, you two! Spanky, I don’t mind your presence at all but you can’t come in without any permission and… How do you know about my new lab?
Spanky: Wooldoor told me about that.
Wooldoor: Is that bad?
Monkeyfist: Nevermind, I’ll take care of Wooldoor…
Spanky: What is that gun you’re holding anyways-

Monkeyfist aims the brain-control-ray-gun in front of Spanky’s head and shoots. Spanky is hypnotised.

Monkeyfist: Nobody is in this room. Actually this isn’t a room at all, in fact: It’s just nothing. You decide to go somewhere else and join Foxxy Love and Felia Paed in their sexual-rituals.

Spanky leaves the laboratory without saying anything. G-Bot is opening the entrance and lets Spanky go. The robot is closing the entrance again. Monkeyfist looks at Wooldoor.

Monkeyfist: So you say you will do everything, huh?
Wooldoor: Yes, that’s true! (nods and smiles brightly.)
Monkeyfist: It’s nothing complicated. All I want you to do is to prove your love to me and… G-Bot, what is that word again?!
G-Bot: Icecream?!
Monkeyfist: No, imbecile, it’s something like-
G-Bot: Waffles, is it waffles? WAFFLES!! (going bonkers.)
Monkeyfist: No, it’s kiss! Now I remember! Wooldoor: To prove your love to me you have to kiss me on the… G-Bot, where are you supposed to kiss again?
G-Bot: Lips, master.
Monkeyfist: Lips? That’s disgusting! Are you sure it’s not on the scroudge?
Wooldoor: I would do that as well if I knew what a scroudge is! (smiles.)
Monkeyfist: Nevermind, only quirkens can have it, I almost forgot about that. Kiss me on the lips!
Wooldoor: Wheeeee- uh, I mean, with pleasure…

Monkeyfist is closing its eyes strongly and clenches its four fists nervously. Wooldoor gets up and comes close to Monkeyfist. He closes his eyes slowly and kisses its mouth. The alien opens its eyes and blushes. After the kiss, Monkeyfist is breathing heavy and loudly. Wooldoor looks worried.

Wooldoor: What’s wrong…?
G-Bot: Master? Is everything right?
Monkeyfist: … I… I’m feeling so tingly inside… I can’t explain what the matter with me is.
Wooldoor: (laughs.) That’s the way you’re supposed to feel. Everything is fine!
Monkeyfist: If you say so… (looks shyly.)
Wooldoor: Of course! You can’t imagine how relieved I am to know you haven’t slapped me after this.
Monkeyfist: I still could if you want to. (smiles.) You know: I somehow like this feeling once I got used to…
Wooldoor: Shall we do it again? (smiles.)
Monkeyfist: You bet! (grabs Wooldoor and kisses him wildly.)
G-Bot: Whoah! (One of his lenses gets longer and blinks. He’s recording it.)

Meanwhile, Spanky stands in front of Foxxy Love and Felia Paed in the hot tub. Felia is sucking on Foxxy’s nipples.

Foxxy: Ooooh, dat feels so good, baby! (looking at Spanky.) Ey, what are ya doing here?
Felia: You want to join us?
Spanky: Sure, ladies. Make room for Spanky and his ham! (smiles.)

The girls laugh as Spanky gets in the hot tub. He puts his arms on Foxxy’s and Felia’s shoulder and relaxes.

Spanky: Life is great, don’t you think, girls?

Felia giggles.

Reporter: Attention, everyone! Your punishment is over! You can put your clothes on and come to the living room…
Spanky: I guess I better stay with you. Weren’t you supposed to suck on Foxxy’s nipples, Felia?
Foxxy: She’s doin’ it very excellent, fo’ shizzle mah nizzle.
Reporter: Let me explain it the other way: YOU MUST PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AND COME TO THE LIVING ROOM!!!!
Felia: Aww, what a pity…

The BARE-NAKED-FRENZY is over now and the Drawn Together Survival members have to put their clothes on again. It’s the beginning of their biggest assignment and they had enough time to prepare themselves. And it seems that some of them used this opportunity for some other things, wink wink. Be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter of DRAWN TOGETHER SURVIVAL!!

Xandir: I don’t like that chapter so much.

Why?

Xandir: Because I had no gay-sex…

So?

Xandir: So?! SO!?!?!? That’s it, if I don’t get fracked by a hot looking man immediately, I’m going to sing “My heart will go on” from Celine Dion!

Can’t you just keep your lust for the next chapter?

Xandir: Neeeeear, faaaaaar, whereeeeeeeeeveeer youuuu aaaaaaaaaare…!

*sigh* I promise you that you will get lucky next time…

Xandir: Really?

Yes, really really.

Xandir: Okay, I’ll remember that! Ciao ciao! (smiles.)

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