Chapter 9 - Seto...He's What's for Dinner

Silver: Hey peoples! As you have heard a ton of times before...I'm back and I've got the next chapter in the insane story of the Guys v.s The Rabid Mini Rikus! Just for those of you who either like to skip through the chapters or just don't remember, in the last chapter, Sephy met his "children" and Yami kicked Kaiba out of the Fort and Kaiba was captured by the Mini Rikus (which I got in trouble for doing. I know, I me too for doing that. ^_^;)
But without further ado, ah screw it! Just read already!

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Meanwhile…

Kaiba: *wakes up* Ugh…where am I? *Tries to move his arms but sees that he’s tied tightly to a stake* And why am I tied up? The last thing I remember is that jerk, Yami kicking me out of the fort and then everything going black.

Marik: *Tied to a stake next to Kaiba’s* You were captured by the Riku-clones you moron!

Kaiba: MARIK! I thought they killed you.

Marik: No, after you ran away, which by the way, I’m still really P.Oed at you for that, the clones hit me with a baseball bat and when I woke up, I was tied to this stake.

Kaiba: How long have you been awake?

Marik: Beats the heck outta me. I just know that it hasn’t been that long since the clones brought you in.

Kaiba: You have any idea of where we are?

Marik: Well, technically, we’re on the other side of the room. But I guess its become these things’ village or something.

M. Riku: *Throws a rock at Marik* DOOM!

Marik: OW! WHAT DID I-* Gets hit with another rock* OW! BUT I DIDN’T-* Gets hit with yet another rock* OW! STOP- *Gets hit with, guess what? Another rock!* OW! GRRRRRRRRRR…

Kaiba: Marik, don’t! Remember last time?

Marik: *Ignores Kaiba* STOP THROWING ROCKS AT ME YOU CHESTNUT PSYCHOS! I SWEAR, WHEN I GET OUT OF THESE TIES, I…WILL…KILL…YOU!!! *Pants as he looks down at the Mini Riku who just snaps his fingers*

More Mini Rikus: *Gather around Kaiba and Marik, each clone having their own little rock to throw*

M. Riku: *Points at Marik* DOOM, DOOM, DOOM!!!

M. Rikus: *Gasp* DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! *Start to pummel Marik with rocks*

Marik: OWWWWWWWWWW! *Begins to sob* W-Why me?

Kaiba: *Closes his eyes and looks away* Poor, poor twit. Even he doesn’t deserve this. *Opens his eyes and is shocked at what he sees.

Riku (the original): *Sitting atop a "thrown" made of leggos, wearing nothing but an old Batman cape on his back and -hose on his head*

Kaiba: *Closes his eyes again and mumbles* I did not just see that. I did not just see that. Oh please, for the love of God, please let me not just see that! *Opens his eyes again, sees Riku and closes his eyes again* I did just see that!

Riku: MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES MY MINIONS! GO! THROW YOUR TINY ROCKS OF DOOM AT OUR SACRIFICES! GET THEM NICE AND TENDER FOR OUR PRE-VICTORY FEAST!

Kaiba: SACRIFICES?!

Riku: *Looks down at Kaiba and gives him a sinister look that would give even Sephy a run for his money* Yes Kaiba. I am going to take over this room, using these clones to help me. *Pats a nearby Mini Riku on the head* They’re really loyal and handsome to boot! ^_^

Kaiba: But why did you say that you wanted to get us "Nice and tender?" *Cringes because he has a sinking feeling that he knows what Riku’s going to say*

Riku: Well, these little guys may be powerful but they need to eat too. And they seem to have a taste for meat and well, I don’t see any hamburger stands around here, do you?

Kaiba: *Mumbles* No…

Riku: Well, I believe I’ve wasted enough time talking with you. And now, you’ve got no other use except for being the dinner for my clone army! BRING THEM TO THE IMPENDING DOOM POT OF DOOM!

M. Rikus: DOOM! *Untie Marik and Kaiba and bring them to the Impending Doom Pot of Doom*

Riku: Well, Kaiba, any last words?

Kaiba: I just got two questions for you Riku.

Riku: All right. What are they?

Kaiba: First; What’s with the sudden violent change? I mean, one minute, you’re nothing but a blubbering psycho fearing anything that resembles a chest-

Riku: DON’T SAY THAT WORD!

Kaiba: What word?

Riku: YOU KNOW "WHAT WORD!" IT’S !

Kaiba: What? Chestnuts?

Riku: *Covers his ears and shrieks* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EVVVVVVVVIIIIL!!! *Begins to foam at the mouth for a sec, pants and then looks at Kaiba with a look of utmost * That *shudders* word is evil in the Clan of the Rikus. That’s why I have trained my Mini-Mes to say only my favorite word…DOOM!!! *Thunder sounds*

M. Rikus: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! *Begin to pummel Marik with even more rocks*

Marik: *Passed out a long time ago but is still getting beaten to a y pulp*

Riku: And since you have said the word of EVIL, then you shall be the first to be sacrificed!

Kaiba: WAIT! You still haven’t answered my question!

Riku: Oh yes. Why am I taking over this room? Well, to be honest, I don’t know. I guess I just want to see you guys suffer. Suffer and…BUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNN!!! *Foams at the mouth again*

Kaiba: *Thinks* Oh great. My worst fear come true. Riku’s gone completely off the deep end. *Aloud* I have just one more question for you Riku.

Riku: And what’s that?

Kaiba: What’s with the -hose and cape? Some pants wouldn’t kill you or even just some underwear for God’s sake!

Riku: You don’t like my battle armor?

Kaiba: "Battle armor!?" The only thing that outfit’s doing for you is making you look like a complete and total jack***!

Riku: *Gasp* HOW DARE YOU!!!! FIRST YOU VIOLATE THE SACRED CODE AND SAY THE MOST EVIL OF WORDS AND NOW YOU DARE TO INSULT MY OUTFIT?! WELL, THAT SHALL COST YOU DEARLY! TAKE HIM TO THE IMPENDING DOOM POT OF DOOM, MY MINIONS!

M. Rikus: DOOOOOOOM!!! *Bind Kaiba’s arms and legs with some handcuffs and chains they found and force Kaiba to walk towards the Impending Doom Pot of Doom by poking him with random pointy objects*

Kaiba: *Thinks as he walks to him doom* Well, I guess I’ve lived a good life. Just wish that I could’ve told Mokuba and Sydny how much I loved them. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t want to die! There’s so much for me to do and say. There must be something that I can do. But what? *Thinks really, really hard* Wait! I think I know now! *Aloud* RIKU!

Riku: What is it now? Why can’t you human sacrifices go quietly. It’s annoying!

Kaiba: You’re not sacrificing us right!

Riku: What do you mean? I think I’m doing a great job. I got the vengeful villagers, the flaming sacrificing pot and I got the helpless human sacrifices. What else do I need?

Kaiba: You need…*Groans loudly*…the public humiliation of the sacrifices!

Riku: *Gasp!* You’re right! How could I have forgotten that?! MINI-MES!

M. Rikus: DOOM!

Riku: Take Kaiba and Marik to the Armor Hut and put them in their special "Sacrificial Garments." *Chuckles evilly* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA* cough, cough* HA!

Kaiba: *Thinks as the clones drag him to the "Armor Hut" (which is just a table covered with a sheet with a cardboard sign saying "Armor Hut in sloppy black crayon)* Oh dear God, what have I gotten myself into?

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Silver: *Hides behind a steel door and puts on a football helmet* I know! Kaiba almost died and he could've died but I didn't let him! So think about that before you start hating me!

Hiei: *Walks in completly cured of the "electric incident* What the heck are you doing?

Silver: I'm ending this chapter.

Hiei: Yes I can see that but what's with the helmet and steel door? It was so hard to open so I melted it with my Sword of Darkness Flame. *Grips his katana lightly and smirks trying to look all cool 'n stuff*

Silver: O.O You...melted...THE DOOR?! *Hyperventilates for a sec and then tosses Hiei a cooking pot* Here.

Hiei: Let me guess. I'm going to need it, right?

Silver: Yep.

Hiei: Is there any particular reason why I need it?

Silver: *Points to the computer* Read this chapter.

Hiei: *Reads it quickly* Yeah, so? It's not bad. A little short and there's some character bashing but nothing terribly bad is in this.

Silver: Your right, Hiei. There was character bashing, KAIBA character bashing and who reads this fic?

Hiei: *Thinks for a sec and cringes*...Kaiba fan s?

Silver: *Squeaks* Yep.

Hiei: *Slams the cooking pot on his head, kicks down the sofa, grabs Silver, and ducks behind the sofa* Silver?

Silver: Yes, Hiei?

Hiei: Were gonna die, aren't we?

Silver: Yes Hiei. Thanks to this chapter, we shall die a slow and painful .

Hiei: Okay, but before we die a slow and painful , do you wanna...*Gives a cute smirk*

Silver: O.O "Do I wanna," what?

Hiei: Eat cookies and say the Comment Plead together! ^_^

Silver: Oh...^_^;...Sure! *Takes out a plate of chocolate chip peanut butter sandwhich cookies and hands one to Hiei and then takes one for herself.* Mmmf...Do you wanna start or should I?

Hiei: *Says with a mouthful of cookie* I'll start. *Ahem* Please comment on this chapter even if Silver did almost kill Kaiba.

Silver: But I didn't kill him so be thankful for that! If you do comment, me and Hiei here will give you a cookie!

Hiei: *Grabs a handful of cookies and stuffs half of them in his mouth and attempts to talk* Mmmmf...mmmemmfrrrffffff!

Silver: Swallow first Hiei...-_-;

Hiei: *Swallows hard and pants* These cookies are really so make sure you comment a lot!

Silver: Yeah, and fast! At this rate, Hiei will have eaten all of the cookies! HIEI! ONE COOKIE AT A TIME! AND PLEASE, CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Ewww, that is so gross! *Mumbles* Hiei has no manners whatsoever...

Hiei: *Shouts with his mouth full* HEY! *Sprays chewed up cookies all over Silver*

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