Chapter 1 - Disturbed Peace

Strong Badia.

A place where the population is tire. A place where the only danger is that bear holding a shark. A place where the fence is ideal for mural painting. A place where amazing things happen. A place of complete peace and harmony.

“THE CHEAT!!! I told you to fill the bucket with vinegar, not Mountain Dew!”

Or maybe not.

“Who really cares?” retorted The Cheat. “This plan is never going to work.”
“Of course it will!” argued Strong Bad. “When Homestar takes the bucket to Marzipan''s, I''ll launch the bicarb soda, and it will asplode all over her garden! Without a garden, she can''t win the garden contest! How can we sabotage her garden with Mountain Dew?”
“This plan is stupid. It’s not going to work.”
“Well, it won’t now, thanks to you!”
“It wasn’t ever going to work!”
“Yes it was!”
“STOP IT!!” groaned Strong Mad.
They ignored him.
“Why do we always follow your plans, anyway? And why does the writer keep emphasising words by putting them in italics?”
“Because my plans rock, El Cheaterito. As do italics.”
“Italics suck. So do your plans. And your lame nicknames.”
“Hey! No one insults the nicknames of Teh SB, not even you, CheatBob MoronPants!”
“This is ridiculous. I can’t believe I have to put up with you.”

As the two were arguing, Homestar walked past them.

“Hey, guys!” he said. “Has you got that bucket-o water that I cames over here to pick up?”
“Uh...” Think fast, SB. “Yeah, man. But the water was... abducted... by these... antelope... who drink water. So we put poison in there instead.”
“Aww, cool! Poison is my favourite colour!” Homestar guzzled down the contents of the bucket in one greedy mouthful. “Wow! This poison tastes like Mountain Dew.”
“Yeah, whatever. Say, can you steal me a pair of oven mitts from Marzipan’s kitchen for me? I lost mi- I mean, I never had oven mitts.”
“Aw-wight, Pom Pom.”
Homestar left quickly. The Cheat was not impressed.

“I thought I was your henchman.”
“Well, yeah, but... you’ve passed your prime. You’re no use to me anymore.”
“What are you talking about? I’m nowhere near past my prime.”
“Dude, you’re thirty-nine years old. That’s, like, a hundred and fifty... six... in The Cheat-years.”
“I’m twelve, moron. It sounds like you’re the one getting old and senile.”
“Senile? What are you talking about? That would make me like H-homsar.” He cringed as he said Homsar’s name. “That guy creeps me out, man.”
“Daaa-aaa-aaaah! I’m the Seven-Eleven of the ages!” said Homsar, who suddenly popped out of the bucket. Strong Bad yelped in surprise.
The Cheat chuckled.
“Only someone as old and uncool as you would be scared by something like that.”
“Uncool!?” cried Strong Bad. “But I gots to be cool! There is a reason why the ladies love me, you know.”
“Oh, I thought you just paid them to hang around and make out with you.”
It was not the remark, but The Cheat’s smirk that caused Strong Bad to lose it.
“Ooh, you’re in for it now, Cheaterson McDorkson. You do that one more time-”
He did, of course.
“That’s it. You’re out of here, Cheatiot! You no longer have the privilege of being my lackey. You’re officially fired.”
The Cheat was outraged.
“Fired!? You don’t even pay me! With money, I mean. Pencil shavings do not count.”
“Fine. You’re being disowned. You’re a dog, aren’t you?”
The Cheat shot Strong Bad a cold stare which could rattle even the most ferocious bear-holding-a-shark.
“No, Strong Bad. I’m not a dog. I am leaving, though.”
The Cheat stormed into the house.
“What are you doing? Get the crap out of here!”
He gathered all the food and other supplies he could carry in his small yellow arms.
“The Cheat, if you don’t leave right now-”
He stormed out of the house.
“Get. Out. Of my face. NOW.”
He disappeared over the hill.“

He took my apron,” said Strong Bad.

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