So I've been wanting to start a journal.
Blog Entry: So I've been wanting to start a journal.
Blog Entry: So I've been wanting to start a journal.
Posted by: ShamefulMetaphors
Posted: December 23, 2014, 8:20:29 PM
Mood: Torn
Drinking: Water
Currently: Drawing
Listening To: Cough Syrup- I The Giant
Posted: December 23, 2014, 8:20:29 PM
Mood: Torn
Drinking: Water
Currently: Drawing
Listening To: Cough Syrup- I The Giant
Well, given the fact that no one's on here. The odds of anyone reading this is really low. So I don't think there's any harm in me opening up at all.
Hm.. This site's a dangerous place for me to be in.. I mean *scoffs* It's like, I know I'm walking in a mine field, but I try my hardest to stay active in such an emotional place. I've been trying to draw as much as I can each and every day. In fact, I just stopped drawing because something inside of me didn't feel right. I don't really have much of anyone to talk to. Anyone who can give me advice that's worth something at least.
It's been a hell of a ride these past couple of months. I feel like a lot of me is gone, and I've been recovering it little by little. I don't wake up hurt in the mornings, that's always good. I try not to beat myself up, and when I don't, it's really nice. I feel like I actually do things when I'm on my better days.
*chuckles* About two weeks ago, all I did was eat Ben & Jerry's while watching "Hey Arnold!" I don't know why I keep having hope.. People say that's the last thing that dies out.. Though my grip is lose, I don't know why I try so hard to hold on. I don't know why I think about things the way I do. Not so much the things I do. But the things I attach myself to. The people I hold closely to myself.
I guess all of these journals will be about Lizzy, and how I much I miss her. Is there a point to this? Is there really a point to me writing things down?
I still try and message her on skype, even though I know I'm blocked, it used to feel somewhat ok to know I was able to send something that was at least of small significance to me.. But who am I kiddin'..? I don't know at the moment. Whether or not I'll last as long as I want to. Being happy suddenly became a lot harder, but much more of a priority.
It isn't like I'm miserable EACH and every day. I have days where I'm real happy. Where I really do feel like I'm improving. I talk to my parents more.. I talk to more people in a much more open way. I don't let things bring me down when I know I need to have a higher charisma.
*shrugs* I got to spend some time with a friend of mine, went to the park and walked. It was pretty cool. Last I heard of him, we were in middle school? So, catching up was really awesome.
I guess I just got a little sad when we interchanged a lot of what happened while we havent been in contact.
*has a soft sigh* I don't know if I'll keep updating these journals.. I just felt like really talking to someone..
Hm.. This site's a dangerous place for me to be in.. I mean *scoffs* It's like, I know I'm walking in a mine field, but I try my hardest to stay active in such an emotional place. I've been trying to draw as much as I can each and every day. In fact, I just stopped drawing because something inside of me didn't feel right. I don't really have much of anyone to talk to. Anyone who can give me advice that's worth something at least.
It's been a hell of a ride these past couple of months. I feel like a lot of me is gone, and I've been recovering it little by little. I don't wake up hurt in the mornings, that's always good. I try not to beat myself up, and when I don't, it's really nice. I feel like I actually do things when I'm on my better days.
*chuckles* About two weeks ago, all I did was eat Ben & Jerry's while watching "Hey Arnold!" I don't know why I keep having hope.. People say that's the last thing that dies out.. Though my grip is lose, I don't know why I try so hard to hold on. I don't know why I think about things the way I do. Not so much the things I do. But the things I attach myself to. The people I hold closely to myself.
I guess all of these journals will be about Lizzy, and how I much I miss her. Is there a point to this? Is there really a point to me writing things down?
I still try and message her on skype, even though I know I'm blocked, it used to feel somewhat ok to know I was able to send something that was at least of small significance to me.. But who am I kiddin'..? I don't know at the moment. Whether or not I'll last as long as I want to. Being happy suddenly became a lot harder, but much more of a priority.
It isn't like I'm miserable EACH and every day. I have days where I'm real happy. Where I really do feel like I'm improving. I talk to my parents more.. I talk to more people in a much more open way. I don't let things bring me down when I know I need to have a higher charisma.
*shrugs* I got to spend some time with a friend of mine, went to the park and walked. It was pretty cool. Last I heard of him, we were in middle school? So, catching up was really awesome.
I guess I just got a little sad when we interchanged a lot of what happened while we havent been in contact.
*has a soft sigh* I don't know if I'll keep updating these journals.. I just felt like really talking to someone..