So hard to show, so hard to hide...

hi you guys should go to my poem it good and it feat this really well

I don't know. but i do know how you feel. The reason why i hide my pain is becuase sometimes no one can help me, and they don't understand.and it hurts to watch someone in pain when you cant do anything. and it hurts to wach them watching you. maby it's good that they dont kow, but dont hide evrything, because sometimes they really can help.

oooooh!!!!! thats very nice howd ya do it nyaah?

Photoshop over already-inked lines XD

TELL ME. TELL ME HONESTLY AND TRUTHFULLY.

DO YOU LIKE ME?

BECAUSE IVE JUST CUT MY HANDS IN MY DEPRESSION OVER YOU. BCAUSE I LIKE YOU SO MUCH. AND WAS THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON THE PLANET TO THINK I DESERVED A FRIEND AS GOOD AS YOU. BUT CAN YOU FORGIVE ME? CAN YOU ACEPT MY LAME AND STUPID APOLOGY???

BECAUSE I NEVER EVER NEVER EVER MENT TO DO ANYTHING OF THE SORT TO HURT YOU.

||||
|...|/ ==8

YOUL SEE TOMORROW.

YOUL SEE WHAT I DO WHEN I THINK IVE HURT YOU

I HURT MYSELF

Oh crap! What the hell did you do?! You can't hurt yourself in ANY way over me!!! As long as you're okay I don't CARE what happens to me!!! Don't you see that's WHY I'M SAD?! Because YOU'RE sad!!!
So please!!! Listen to me and please, please don't hurt yourself!!! PLEASE!

because...

because IM sad?

i get sad cause you sad!

Oh dear. We're just going round in circles, aren't we?

We really should kill her. Or eat her History hwk.

i dont care what hapens to me now.
i dont care what they say to me.
i would do anything for you to be happy
to see your smiling face
smiling

ACTUALLY SMILING

smiling like i saw you smile a long time ago

well not THHAT long ago cause i only known you for just over a year

but i want you to smile tomorrow.

i want you to laugh tomorrow

i want you to be happy tomorrow.

and i would do ANYTHING just for that.

Why does this sound like something I've been dying to tell someone else? Feels like the words came out of my mouth, mute, and decorated themselves on this page? It hurts terribly to think about her, but I can't seem to understand something.
 
If I can easily forget something, how come I can't forget her? Her name, carved into my heart, scarred, and there's nothing I can do to remove it... I'm the true coward here. I can't even tell her about my feelings, not even over the net... Why can't I overcome this cowardly fear?

just say what your heart says.

however you tell her,

just say whatever comes into your head.

cuz if you rehearse it... you might realise you want to say something different

then it wont go so well

i havnt rehearsed anything that ive said to you guys.

you just need to think of one thing to say to her...

one sentence

one phrase

one word...

and you will find that your heart will finish it for you...

you will be typing, writing, speaking endlessly and you wont be able to stop.

thats why my comments go on for aaaages.

once you get the ball rolling...

it wont stop till it reaches the bottom of the hill.

try it.

i guarantee you it will have some effect,

nomatter how small.

whatever happens

words can change the world.

You're right. But I've moved on, now. Next time, I'll come back to these comments to help me out. I'm glad I have friends like you (that I don't know ^^)

:)

Shugo-chan... are you okay? 'Cause you've said something like that before... what's happening?

And don't you DARE call yourself a coward - don't you DARE!!! You are one of the strongest people I've ever met (well... not exactly MET...)!!!!!!

I read this chat and a nearly cried.
Oh no now I feel all depressed now.
 

dont feel depressed.

its not your fault

You probably don't know this, but it took me two years to tell the girl i fell in love with that i liked her... I am a total coward, and I'll never be able to confess to her, not in the direction this is going...
 
Truth be told, she's getting an online marriage on Maplestory with a Hermit class character. In an email she told me "3rd times the charm!", and that makes me feel used... Am I just a tool in the world, bound to only be used and then tossed aside? This is the pain that is impossible to endure; the pain that will only tear me apart, seperate me from others...
 
I will never be brave enough to confess to her. All I can do is sit here, like a tool on the street, waiting to be picked up and used, then tossed aside again...
 
Do you have a different opinion?

No. I do have a different opinion.
I think that if you like her, you should tell her! You don't have to say it straight out - but, just like you told me, you should never keep your emotions bottled up!

You are a very kind, caring (and mad!) person. You are anything but a tool!!!

Everyone has bad days, weeks, months or even years. You'll find the courage you need - it'll just take time!

And during that time, we are all here for you. Me, Kat-chan and Rach-chan are all here to listen to you rant and rave, and it's our job to build you up again - 'cause we all love you!

Me too.
I totally agree with what Sasu said.
You are definitely not a tool.
And you will never be a tool.
Ever.

oh yes. we could come early and DEVISE (i <3 that word) a plan to sort this stupid thing out. then we can just be two normal people. two normal lucky people. lets throw a wheelie bit at heeeeeeer!
gotta admit. it was so easy to live without her today.

That's true ^^!

Or we could drop Mrs Corner on her...

No no no... i just mean i never made proper friends before. sure i had mates. but at the end of the day, you loose touch with mates, just as i did. see how few old friends i had at my party. 2. shows just how lame i can be. id be such a loner without you. thats all i mean.

A loner without me? Yeah right. Look, this is why I got mad the other day - I just didn't know what you felt any more. It's just that Ashleigh keeps hurting Laura - you know how much I care about her - and me. People SEE, I know they do, yet they just sit there and do nothing. Nothing to help; nothing to stand against one petty grudge denting a life, a heart.

I don't know what anyone thinks any more.

And when Ashleigh comes back to school tomorrow; everything will be as normal again. Laura gets hurt. I get hurt. Maybe Eleanor too, if we're not careful. People just sit there and watch.

And it will go on. And on. And on, as if on a loop. It's never going to end, I can see that now.

I was stupid to think it ever would.

OF COURSE YOU WERNT

IT JUST GOES TO SHOW WHAT A WONDERFUL CARING PERSON YOU ARE.

AF ANYONE HAS BEEN STUPID HERE ITS ME

BLAME ME BECAUSE I DONT MIND.

I DESERVE IT

Your right. but this is life isnt it. there are people who make every step in life more painful to take... but it inst true that NOTHING can go OUR WAY. im shaking now. i feel ill. and i think it is just the pain of living. the pain of trying to stay happy when almost everything is not going according to plan. when people you love get hurt and you dont know what to do. im seriously shaking now. when you cant trust other people. when you spend hours trying to create a beautiful picture for someone you love. and then a weelie bin gets thrown through your window (: its okay to smile even when life becomes too hard to handle. because when i sit there and stare into the distance as soon as A comes to tare us apart, i try and zone out. block out all evil. but i am a coward.

thats right.


a pathetic coward.

No, you're not. You're anything but a coward. I've never known anyone braver, anyone who can keep smiling for as long as you can. Anyone who can make me feel as wanted as you are able to. You are NOT a coward, and never will be.

*Ducks wheelie bin*

So - let's be happy, 'kays?

Ye
im laughing and crying at the same time.
we must be strong no matter what

must...stop...annoying...emotions!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhbbbbllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh!!! *choke*

thank kish i decided to move away from the people i thought would stay in touch and diddnt. you have changed my life

(:

we can get through it.

^-^ Yup! We can!

(But can we kill A first?)

answer me. please answer me. i just want you to realize how special you are. ive never had a friend i could say something as meaningful as this this to. this is what every one is thinking as they leave a comment on your profile. you may think we're just saying that but no... people out there, people like me, are picturing a worried and self esteem-less (does that make sense?) face and trying to find a way to make you realize...

We care so much about YOU.

and perhaps...

you can blame a bad friend for how you are feeling.

and perhaps...

they deserve it.

Perhaps...

You will tell everyone how you feel. I will be a better friend. we can go home and not weep silently into our cushions.

you probably will have...

but i have never had a better friend.

<3

Really...? Is that really true? Are you sure?

Because I've always thought that you, Shugo-chan and Rach-chan were the best friends I ever made - but I can't ever be sure how you see me.

We all see you in three ways.
 
Kind,

 
 
Caring,

 
 
Crazy,

 
 
and Sasukeandmomiji, night rat, and I are your friends for just that. You'll never find better friends anywhere in life.

And we're here for you- always. Even if we're not with you, we'll be by your side, in your heart.

Trust me, you're among the best kind of friends.

I don't relly know what to say, but thank you. Thank you so, so much ^^! You've made me feel so much better and more loved (and I was an idiot to complain like this in the first place :])!

Thank you. All of you. Thank you.

And you shouldn't keep your emotions locked up inside. Let them speak for themselves. But the most important person to let your emotions out to is your friends. They always understand you, and can help you in anyway. As for me, however, the only possible ways to talk to me is either by email or FAC comments. But we're here for you. Me, your friends, we're here for you. All the way.

Pain felt- brilliant /\_/\

You are the most unpathetickist person I know.
No way!
I just can't imagine that.  You are a really nice, kind and sweet  person.  Always remember when you are depressed:
Your friends will always be there for you.
If you ever need cheering up your friends will cheer you up.
If you ever feel your not loved your friends will prove you wrong.
If you ever think that you are not  nice your friends will remind you that if you weren't nice then they wouldn't be your friends.
 
That's true!

i'm with Night Rat!

Yeah! Basically if you don't have friends you're stuffed!
But we ALL know you have friends!!

Remember this very thing...
 
Every night , someone thinks about you before
 
they go to sleep,
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
At least fifteen people in this
world
love
you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The only reason someone would ever hate you is
 
because they want to be
 
just like you
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There are at least two people in this world
that
 
would
die
for
 

you
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You mean the world to someone.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Someone that you don't
even
know
 
 
exists
loves
you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
When you make the biggest mistake ever,
 
something good comes from it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
When you think the world has turned its back on
 
you,
take
a
look.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Always remember the compliments you've received.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Forget the rude remarks.
 
 
 
And you know this:
 
 
 
 
When you are down,
 
your friends will pick you up and support you.

And hes right by the way. i do sit there and think about you. worry about you