Chapter 1 - Winter rose

Hi all! Well this is my first attempt at a Sesshomaru/Rin fic. If it sucks, don't blame me. It's hard to keep Sesshomaru in character and make him kinda, well, not lovey dovey, but you know what I mean. Anyway it's also my Christmas fic! Last year I did an Inuyasha/Kagome one-shot, in fact ALL of my Inuyasha fics have been Inuyasha/Kagome, except for those two for the contest, so I thought it was time to try something different. I hope you all like it!



Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru or Rin or any of the Inuyasha characters, but Motoko is mine ^^



Winter roses

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The sun rose over the hill tops casting a magnificent glow over the snow covered lands. The trees and plaints were white from the snow that had fallen the night before. Everything had an icy look to it, and it made everything look like something out of a fairy tail. Even the animals looked surreal, though there weren't many of them out today. It was too cold for most of them. But for a now nineteen year old Rin, it was perfect. She had always loved winter; it was the time of year when everything and everyone seemed pure and right, and there was this special feeling in the air that made you feel good all over. She couldn't explain it, but she could feel it, and she loved it. There were so many things about the winter season that Rin loved it would take her a day to tell them all, but at the top of the list was her Sesshomaru-sama. There was a whole other list of things she loved about the season that just involved him. And at the top of that list was when they were traveling in the snow and stopped to rest for the night, she would become cold, and he would wrap her up in his boa and arms and hold her close for warmth.



He had grown back his arm totally two years before, and he was much happier having both arms at his side again. He didn't show it of course, but she could tell just by looking in his eyes. Having spent a little over twelve years with the Taiyoukai she had come to read him very well. And she knew that he knew this, but he never tried to hide from her. In her wildest dreams she would hope to think that he fully trusted her, and that he actually cared for her more then he waned too. But she was happy too just be with him for now; she already lived like a queen, so what more could she want? She knew the answer to this of course, she wanted HIM, but it didn't seem likely. He only tolerated humans to an extent, so she wouldn't be hearing any declarations of love from him anytime soon. So she stood on her balcony looking at the beautiful glistening white world below her and dreaming of a future she was sure she would never see.



She saw movement out of the corner of her eyes and looked down to see Jaken walking out of the castle and into the cold snow below. She knew that if he was out there then Sesshomaru-sama wouldn't be too far behind him, the little youkai never went anywhere without him. And sure enough a minute after Jaken walked out Sesshomaru-sama came out behind him. In all the twelve years she had been living and travailing with him she had never see him wear anything else other then his white Kimono and his armor, the only slight difference she'd ever seen was when he took of his armor, and that was rare. She wondered what he was doing out there. He suddenly looked up at her as if reading her mind; she smiled at him and waved, he nodded back at her, turned around and kept walking. She wanted to follow him, but if she was aloud to come with him then he would have asked if she wanted to, he knew that she loved taking walks in the snow, so she was guessing that he wanted her to stay at the castle.



Though she was very curios as to where he was going.



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He left again the next day. And Rin watched him leave this time through the main hallway. She was getting ready to go on a snow walk through the gardens when he walked out the main doors without as much as a hello or goodbye. She kinda felt upset at this at first, but then after leaving and starting her walk she felt better.



`Maybe he's just in a bad mood, he gets like that sometimes.' She thought to her self as she walked.



Out side she saw a few of the castle workers tending to the plaints and flowers in the garden trying to save what they could from the cold, but it was in vain. The only plaints and flowers left in the garden were the ones that had been created by youkai especially for her to thrive in the winter. A month before her fifteenth birthday, her coming of age, Sesshomaru-sama asked her if there was anything special she would like for her birthday. She didn't really think he would be able to do it, so as a joke, or more a wish, she asked if he could find flowers that wouldn't die in the cold. She loved the snow, but she loved flowers, and missed them during the winter months. Knowing, or thinking, that he wouldn't be able to find any kind of flowers like that, she asked for another new kimono, like she did every year, and was happy with that. But on her birthday, which happened to be December third, he took her out to the gardens, in her new kimono, silver and white, and showed her some of the most beautiful flowers she had ever seen in her whole life.



They looked like roses, but she had never seen any rose that color. They were silver, but when the light of the sun hit them they took on a gold hue. And when the moon light shined down on them they looked almost blue.



“Oh Sesshomaru-sama, their beautiful! How did you ever find them?” She asked bending down to smell them; they smelt just like roses too.



“I didn't find them; I had them made.” He simply said. She looked at him in aw. How in the world did he manage to do that?



“How is not important. These winter roses only last through the winter. They will die when the spring comes.” He said as if reading her mind.



`Winter roses, that's a great name for them. And they'll die when spring comes, just in time to make room for spring roses. So now I'll have flowers to look at and pick all year long. My Sesshomaru-sama is the best in the world!'



“Oh thank you so much Sesshomaru-sama! This is the best present ever!” She said jumping up and down like a child.



Looking back on it now made her feel a little embarrassed about how she acted. But she smiled none the less as she picked one of the winter roses and bought it to her nose. She never could get over how good they smelled. Kagome-sama, Sesshomaru's brothers mate, had loved them too when they came over that year for something that she had called `Christmas' (which they now celebrated every year) and Rin had given her a few (after of course asking Sesshomaru-sama if it was okay) for her garden.



“Hello lady Rin, how are ye this beautiful day?” Asked one of the workers. Her name was Motoko.



“I am fine Motoko-san, how are you today?” She asked walking over to the old women, she appeared to be around sixty in human years, but she was a youkai and Rin new that she must have been thousands of years older then that. She was always awe struck at how slow youkai aged. And thinking about it made her a little sad, she knew that she would die long before Sesshomaru-sama ever looked like he aged one day passed twenty. She just hoped that he wouldn't get rid of her once she had gown old, and that he remember her after she was gone.



“I'm doing well child. May I ask what ye are doing out here on such a cold day? It is almost night and ye might catch cold. Sesshomaru-sama would not like that very much.” She said in a grandmotherly tone. Since the day she came to live with Sesshomaru-sama Motoko-san had been taking care of her. None of the other youkai workers in the castle wanted much to do with her, they only did what their lord commanded them to do, and after that she could drop dead for all they cared, as long as the blame wasn't on them. But Motoko-san was different from the others; she took care of Rin like she was her own grandchild, and Rin loved her deeply for that. She hadn't felt that kind of love since her parents died.



“I'm just out for a short walk, and I have so many layers on this kimono that it'll keep me worm all night if I decided to stay out here.” She said smiling. Motoko-san just shook her head and said.



“Ye young things always think ye know everything. But I'm telling ye, Sesshomaru-sama is not going to like this.” She said.



“Don't worry, if I do get sick I'll tell him that no one saw me and that it was all my fault okay?” She said tucking the winter rose behind Motoko's pointed ear.



“Alright, but please try to get inside soon. Because I do not want to see ye sick either.”



“Alright, I'll go inside soon.” They said their goodbyes; Rin picked another winter rose and started to walk again. She really didn't know where she was going once she reached the end of the garden, but she knew that she didn't want to go back in the castle. What she really wanted was to find Sesshomaru-sama. She walked over to where she had seen him disappear into the trees the day before and started to walk into the forest. But there was a little nagging voice in the back of her head that was telling her not to do it. And she didn't know what he would think about her being out here in the cold, Motoko-san was right; she really should go back to the castle. As she turned around to head back she bumped into a hard chest of armor. A pare of golden eyes looked down at her.



“Oh! I'm sorry Sesshomaru-sama; I didn't know you were there.” She said backing up a few steps and blushing.



“You should watch were your going young lady. It is not polite for a lady such as your self to go around bumping into people. Especially not your lord.” Through Jaken's rant Sesshomaru never took his eyes off Rin's and she was starting to get nervous. Did he really get that offended that she bumped into him? No, something else must be going through his mind.



“Yes, I'm sorry, please excuse me.” She said bowing.



“Rin, come with me, Jaken, stay here and plain for my brother and his family's arrival tomorrow.” He said taking her hand and leading her into the forest. For once Jaken didn't protest, which Rin found very unusual because he did not like being away from his lord for vary long. But she didn't say anything, because she was very much enjoying the feel of his hand wrapped around hers. They walked in silence for a few minutes before she got up the courage to say something.



“Um, if you don't mine me asking my lord, where are we going?” She asked glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes. He didn't look at all agitated, so she wasn't in trouble.



“To tell you the truth, I do not know yet.” He said not taking his eyes off the path ahead of them. He didn't take his hand away either.



They walked in comfortable silence for a little while longer before they came to a break in the forest. It was the lake that she frequently swam in when the summer time came around, but of course this time of year the lake was covered in ice. It was a beautiful site to see with the moon and stars shining down onto it. She only wished there were some fireflies out to make this the perfect setting for a romantic night out. As soon as the thought crossed her mind she blushed. And she knew that he knew she was; besides his eye sight he could smell those kinda things. And knowing this made her blush harder, which in turn made him look at her curiously.



“Why are you nervous Rin? Has your trust in me faded after all these years?” He asked looking at her. They had stopped just outside of the break in the trees, and he still hadn't let go of her hand. She looked up at him with alarm.



“O-Of course not Sesshomaru-sama! I'd never lose my trust in you.” She said hoping that her voice hadn't wavered any. The last thing she wanted was for him to think that she no longer trusted him. He didn't say anything and she was starting to get worried. Did he not believe her? He looked away from her and stared ahead of them where the last rays of light were disappearing over the mountains in the distance. She was really nervous now.



Did I do something to upset him? She wondered as he stopped underneath a Sakura tree, it wasn't in bloom of course, but besides the gardens this was one of her favorite places to come and relax, and it was right across the lake, so no mater what time of year she came out here it was always a pretty sight. He let go of her hand and sat underneath the tree.



“Sit with me for a moment Rin.” He said looking out at the lake. She looked down at him for a second and finally sat down next to him. She had butterflies in her stomach. He was always serous; she had only seen him smile a hand full of times in the last twelve years. And only half of those times were because he was happy about something. But something about his mood tonight made her extremely worried. Someone who had just met him wouldn't have seen a difference in him from a week ago to today. But she could see it. She could feel the tension radiating off him in waves, and it was making her tense up too, which just added to the uncomfortable atmosphere around them. She didn't know what to make of any of it. Was he mad at her for something? Did he not want her around anymore? The suspense was killing her, and she couldn't take it anymore.



“Sesshomaru-sama, are….are you angry with me? Did I do something wrong?” She asked trying to wrap her arms around her legs, but it was no use, there were just too many layers of kimono in between. So she spun the winter rose around in her right hand looking at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He put his hand underneath her chin and turned her head up to look at her.



“Why would you come to that conclusion?” He asked looking her right in the eye. She could feel her insides melt from his heated gaze. His hold on her chin was gentle but firm, she couldn't look away if she tried.



“Well. It's just that…I don't know my lord, I just get the feeling that you're angry at me for something.” He didn't take his eyes off of her. His hand moved from her chin to her cheek in a soft loving caress. He closed her eyes and leaned into his touch as if she was afraid she would wake up any minute and find out that this was a dream.



“I can not bring my self to be mad at you Rin. So rest assured that I am not angry at you. I am just.” He stopped for a minute and she could tell he was thinking of the right word to say next, if he wanted to say anything at all. “Confused.” He finally confessed to her after a long moment. She was shocked and deeply touched that he would confide in her one of his deepest secrets.



`Maybe he really dose trust me. Maybe I've finally gotten through to him.' She thought, but she didn't get her hopes up too far. She didn't know where any of this was going. He drew his and back and once again stared out to the lake. She was already missing the warmth of his hand.



“Confused about what Sesshomaru-sama?” She asked, he looked back at her and took the rose from her hand and studied it, turning it over and twirling it around. He did this for a few minutes before he spoke again.



“I had these made for you, I know how they were made, I know what keeps them alive during the winter, and I know all the things and youkai that went into making these simple flowers. What I don't know is why. Why do I do these things? Why is it that, you can make me do these things and make everything you want to come to life, even if it seems imposable. I do not understand why I feel I must give you everything you want and more. I have not felt this feeling before, and it confuses me. I have spent the last two days in the forest looking for any kind of answer that might help me better to understand what I'm feeling, but so far, nothing. When I saw you standing there at the edge of the forest tonight I decided to ask you my self. Why do I feel like this?”



Nothing in the world would have prepared her for that. Nothing. Her heart was pounding so hard against her rib cage that she was sure that it would bust through any minute. He didn't show any signs of knowing, but she knew that he heard it. So she took a deep breath and thought about an answer for him. A few minutes later the words just started to spill out of her mouth.



“I think that the feeling you're having is something that people feel for someone they care a lot for. I…I have the same feelings for you. The same feeling can be different from one person to another. It can be from a mother to a child, a sister to a brother or….a man to a woman. It's really the same feeling, just, different at the same time. You just have to figure out which one it is.” She didn't know if she was making any since at all, it all sounded like a bunch of gibberish to her. But she hoped she helped him none the less.



He looked at her for a moment before the smallest of smiles appeared on his lips. He took a small peace of her hair in his hand and rubbed it between his thumb and pointer finger.



“I think I understand now, exactly what I'm feeling. I didn't want to believe it at first. To think I am following in my fathers foot steps. I shouldn't be surprised, Inuyasha did the same thing.” He spoke more to the hair in his hand, which he was holding ever so gently, then to her. She watched his eyes for any kind of sign that he was talking about what she was hoping he was. His father had taken a human mate after his first mate had taken ill and died when Sesshomaru was around fifteen years old. And Inuyasha-sama had taken Kagome, a human, for his mate after defeating the evil hanyou Naraku. So maybe…



“Sesshomaru-sama?” It was an unsure question; one that she was afraid to get an answer too. But she knew that if she didn't she would never be able to live with herself.



“What do you feel for me Rin?” He finally looked her in the eyes. She was so afraid. She didn't know what was going to happen if she told him her real feelings for him. She was almost one hundred present sure that he felt the same way, but it was still a scary thought. What if he doesn't return your feelings? That nagging little voice was always there, just waiting to mess with your head and make you think you're not good enough for the someone that you want. But now wasn't the time to give into that voice. It was now or never. She took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice steady.



“I, I'm in love you, Sesshomaru-sama. I thought you'd know that by now.” She said concentrating on the ground in front of her. He didn't move, he didn't say anything. He just sat there staring at the side of her face since she refused to look at him. He had had enough of the silence after a few minutes, and just as he was going to say something, he smelt it; the salty scent of tears just starting to fall. He wondered why she was crying all of a sudden. Was it possible that she was upset because he took to long to say something? Maybe she thought he had rejected her. Unknown to him that was the only thought running through her head.



`Oh kami, what did I just do? I knew I should have just kept my big mouth shut. Now what? Is he going to send me away? I'll never see him again. What do I do?' The tears started pouring out before she could stop them. And not even a minute after he had his hand holding her chin again.



“Rin, stop crying.” His voice was firm, but no where near as ruff as she expected it to be. She never could disobey her lord, so almost instantly the tears stopped and there was nothing but hiccups and a sniffle hear and there. He whipped the remaining tears of her cheeks and pulled away from her. The minute he realest her she turned her eyes back to the ground. She heard some noise like fabric rustling and a thump after words. He took her left hand and pulled her against him. She collapsed against his chest; he had taken off his armor and was left in nothing but his white kimono and the two swords at his side. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Even through all the layers of her kimono she could still feel his heart beat. She hugged him close to her. She didn't know weather this was a goodbye hug or not, but she wasn't going to lose this chance if it was. One of his hands went to the back of her head and pulled it down right above his heart beat; it was louder then ever. She could feel him smelling her hair, so she closed her eyes and took in his scent as well.



“Rin, do you know about the youkai mating ritual? How inu-youkai ask permission to take someone to be there mates?”



`Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. Stay cool, don't get all emotional now.'



“Y-Yes. She whispered against him. Of course Motoko-san and Jaken-sama had told her all about the inu-youkai mating ritual. She didn't know why, but they did after her fifteenth birthday. Now she was starting to understand why all those talks were necessary. He pushed her away from his chest and looked at her before coming forward and lightly biting her chin. She knew exactly what this meant. He was asking her permission to mate with her. And since inu-youkai mate for life, he was asking her to be his mate. If she accepted him she had to bite him back.



She looked him dead in the eye before moving forward and biting his chin. She moved back to see a primal grin on his face. She new that grin all to well. She had seen it many times when he was done defeating an enemy or when he would aggravate Inuyasha-sama when he and his family came for a visit. It always looked the same, like he had just won something. She was about to say something when she noticed little white things falling in front of her. They both looked up to see it had begun to snow. She looked back at him and smiled softly. He did the same. He picked up the winter rose that had been lying next to him and tucked it behind her ear. He leaned in and kissed her lips lightly, she kissed back. Under the moons watchful eye the two new lovers kissed and opened up there hearts to one another. One clad in white, one in silver and blue.



Just like the winter roses.



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Okay all, so how was that? My first REAL Sesshomaru/Rin fic. Was it any good? If so please leave a review, if you think some thing could have been better then leave a review telling me what, but DO NOT leave any flames. If you don't like it then just leave and never come back. And please don't tell me stuff like `Sesshomaru's mother didn't die like that' or `He was older then that' or even `Sesshomaru would never do something like that' cause this is MY fanfiction and this story is written the way I wanted it to be, that's all there is to it. It's hard enough to try and keep him in character without people telling me that I did a shootty job of it (like I know I did) okay? Now I know there's only really one mention of Christmas in here and there isn't really any gift giving, but this is five hundred years back in Japan, so I don't think they knew much about Christmas if at all. I mentioned Inuyasha coming over the next day, which means that it was Christmas Eve for them, so the way I see it their love was their Christmas gift to each other. I hope that made since to you. O.o Anyway thanks for reading and please review! Something nice!

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