Chapter 2 - An Unusual Mid-Life Puberty

Days after I had become Kagekage, we traveled to the leaf village. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. Nia had an almost fatal run in with her old foe, Catsbane, and I had to save her. Yep, it was one of the usual, humdrum adventures that those three always had to drag me on. What was unusual about it was my appearance was changing.
I remember everything exactly as it happened. We had just chased off Catsbane. I was the only one to notice that Tsunade was watching us. When the other three spotted her she came out and looked directly at me. She said, and I quote ‘You look more like your father every day, Eskerna’.
Naturally I flipped out. I mean who would say such a thing? It’s like she walked up to me and said that I was horrendously ugly. I flipped out even more when they got me in front of a mirror. She was RIGHT!!! It wasn’t really as bad as I initially thought it would be.
My hair was straight and it turned a darker red. My eyes looked like they belonged to some sort of monster. I can honestly say I had dropped a few pounds which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Those traits weren’t the worst of my problems. The one thing about my appearance that was unforgivable was my tongue. It was a mile long and every time I tried to cut it off it got longer. That stupid tongue made me cry myself to sleep for the next week.
As if my appearance wasn’t enough. Rene, Nia, and Gonan were trying to find out who my daddy was. I wish they wouldn’t instigate. I was talking to Kakashi when they asked me and his Genin were there too. I wish they wouldn’t look at me with such cute little eyes. They came up to me and Nia was the first one of them to talk.
“You three look like you’ve been up to something,” I said suspiciously.
“Eskerna Sensei, we think we know who your father is,” Nia said.
“Tell me who you think he is and if you’re right I’ll be damned. If you are right you’ll know. Who do you think he is?”
“Orichimaru?”
“HOLY CRAP! HOW DID YOU KNOW?! I mean no…you’re wrong.”
“I’m wrong and your pants are on fire.”
“That’s not true. I’m not even wearing pants. I’m wearing a skirt. What gave you the idea that Orochimaru is my daddy?”
“I think it was your tongue.”
“How did I know you were going to say that? Alright, I’ll admit it…my life sucks. It wasn’t just the tongue, was it?”
“There was that summoning jutsu that you use and Tsunade knew you.”
“So you knew about this before now?”
“No, but we suspected.”
Ahh, I don’t think I’ve ever been more humiliated in my life! I was about to be judged by people who knew me because of something my daddy did. Surely I was going to be judged wrongly. For the love of God, my daddy nearly destroyed the leaf village and killed the third Hokage! People were going to do anything but judge me fairly even if I was Kagekage. Lucky for me the Genin I was dealing with had been judged the same way and judged me differently.
I didn’t expect such harsh judgement to come from my Jonin though. From that day forward Nia and Rene started calling me Orochimaru Jr. Heck, everyone had treated me differently. Whenever haunted ninja fail a mission, they act like I’m going to kill them or something. I’m not a bad person and I don’t know why people treat me like I am. It must be because of my tongue. I can think of no other explanation.
[Orochimaru Jr, you can’t solve everything with logic. I still don’t see why you’re making such a big deal about that tongue.]
NIA UCHIHA, GET OUT OF MY STORY!
[No one wants to hear about how you flipped out and everything. Just take a deep breath and write. Actually, I think you should just stick to reading.]
THAT’S IT, GET OUT OF MY STORY IMMEDIATELY OR I’LL REMOVE YOU MYSELF!
[BYE!!! AHHH!!! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! I’M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!!!]
See what I mean, I didn’t even give her a nasty look. Oh, I forgot about what she said about my tongue. Well, for those of you that may or MAY NOT be listening, the reason I make such a big deal about my tongue is simple. Someone with such a wonderful figure like mine doesn’t need a big @$$ tongue getting in the way of their beautifulness. [Good grief!] Hey, I thought I told you to scram. [….] NOW! [Wahahaaaa!]
Ok, that’s basically all about the day when I discovered my mid-life puberty. Now we’ll move back quite a few years to when I was a kid. I was so cute as a kid.

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