Chapter 10 - A Painful Reality

An: This chapter contians reference to other Clamp characters outside of Rayearth. If you are familar with other Clamp works you know they like to refer to past works in newer ones, most resently and notably in Tsubasa Chronicles and xxxHolic. While you don't need to be familar with these stories to understand my story if you are it should make my fanfic a little more enjoyable, lets just call it my little inside joke. If you have any questions just ask I'd be glad to explain. Don't own Rayearth or any other Clamp works, Camry's mine but you can't have him. Enjoy the story.
9. A Painful Reality
“A person’s deepest wish…
may become happy or sad.
Beautiful or evil...”
DNAngel
The realm of Cephiro slept peacefully, all the county was in the depths of the night. Though it was nighttime, enough pale, muted moonlight made its way through the heavy clouds to illuminate the countryside far and wide.
Camry was alone high up the central tower of the castle, in the docking area that the Magic Knights had once used to enter the castle in their mashine. He stood gazing out the vast opening at the fields and forests far below. Red eyes following the downpour of water that dropped away from the castle and flowed away to the sea.
It had been a very long time since he’d last seen Cephiro this beautiful and peaceful. His last memory of the land had been in chaos, the world crumbling away into nothingness as all it’s people prayed for the birth of yet another Pillar.
‘No longer’ he smiled softly and took a deep breath as a fresh green wind blew in and tossed his hair and heavy cloak. ‘I wonder how the wind knight fairs’ he looked back into the darkness of the castle behind him. She was strong, as were the others. “I’m sure they’ll be alright” he mused to himself.
Though he did feel somewhat guilty for the wind knight’s injuries; if he’d perhaps gotten there sooner her wounds would have been less grievous. He’d been afraid of that when he entered the Forest of Silence but it couldn’t be helped. It was necessary for him to go. When he’d arrived at the Spring of Eterna he’d allowed himself to be tested. He’d hopped that the time difference wouldn’t be too much but it had taken him longer than expected to earn the escudo.
“I hope that escudo will be enough payment in the future as well as the information she gave me” That witch from the other world drove a hard bargain. She had a tremendous amount of power and she’d crossed paths with                 the Creator. He wondered if the witch was from the same world as the Magic Knights. Most likely not.
With a heavy sigh he reached into his pocket and drew out something small and round. It looked like a glass ball but imbedded in it were intricate magical symbols. Three of them he recognized as the water, wind, and fire symbols for the mashine but the forth one he didn’t know. It looked somewhat like a figure eight. ‘That witch is such a strange, mysterious woman’ he thought as he remembered her instructions.
“It will work only once.” The witch’s voice came though easily using the spring’s extra magical powers as a boost for the communication between worlds. She was lying upon a couch, wearing a floral print kimono and took a breath from her pipe smiling at him. “When the time comes for its use break it and release the seal within.”
“The escudo will be enough for this Yuko?” he asked.
“Yes, a very fine example of escudo. I will accept it as payment.” She held in her hand the glowing ore which he had sent to her a few moments before.
“Things have already been set in motion and ‘his’ quest for a wish has already began to affect worlds. Even if it hasn’t begun yet, it has really already begun. As I’m sure you are aware of already?” she asked her long black hair falling to one side.
“Yes, the fact that myself and the others are able to cross over now, when before we could not, is evidence in itself” Camry looked around his surroundings warily.
“Yes, for if the dream does not end…” The witch turned suddenly and put the escudo away and Camry heard girlish sing-song voices somewhere beyond what he could see of her side of the transmission. “Mistress, we have a guest, Mistress we have a guest!” The witch turned her yellow eyes back towards him.
“It seems I have company, until we meet again.” Then the connection was shut off and he was once again alone in the Forest of Silence.
While Camry was immersed in his thoughts he did not see a portal open behind him and the tall slender woman step through. Solara flicked a stand of her golden hair back walking silently up behind the man.
“Camry”
“Solara, I was beginning to wonder about you.” Camry replaced the glass item in his pocket and turned to face the woman. “You worry me to death sometimes” he gave her that crooked smile that she knew all too well.
“You made Sentra very angry again you know” she walked to his side slowly.
“I told you before she riles too easily” he leaned forward slightly, reaching out and winding a few strands of her long golden hair between his fingers.
“Next time you decide to piss her off I may not be able to stop her from skewering you” she watched him carefully as he replaced the strand of hair tucking it behind her ear.
He merely rolled his eyes and reached out wrapping an arm around her and drawing her to him. “I’ll be fine.”
“You never take anything seriously do you?” she started to become annoyed with him but she didn’t pull away from his embrace. “Although,” she ventured, “Sentra made you pretty angry as well. Didn’t she?”
Camry was silent for a long moment, “Everyone has scars, things they would rather die than let the people around them know, but that is a scar I will have to share…if we are to end this nightmare.”
“You’re going to tell them?” she looked up to his face, a mask hiding the pain that was eons old.
“If they are to understand and prepare they’ll have to know, know everything.” He fell silent afterwards, gazing into the distance but not really seeing.
“Camry…” the usual coldness was gone from her eyes; there was a sad, loving undertone in her voice. She laid her head against his chest her hair falling over his shoulder in a waterfall of gold.
“How’s your shoulder?” He asks softly turning and brushing his lips along her cheekbone.
“It’s fine” she didn’t want to tell him it did hurt.
A deep chuckle escaped him, “You lie.” He held out his palm and whispered something so soft even she couldn’t hear him clearly. A soft gold orb formed, he cupped it in his palm and then let it fall into her shoulder, healing the wound.
“You shouldn’t do that, how am I going to explain it back on the other side?” she asked, but sighed in relief as the pain subsided.
“How are you holding up…?” he looked down at her ignoring the question, tracing her jaw line with a slender finger.
“I’ll be fine, I don’t think they suspect anything” her hands clenched tightly at his shirt betraying her nervousness.
“Don’t push yourself, if you don’t feel comfortable there. Come back to me or leave them. It’s only going to get worse…” he held her face gently between his hands.
“Camry, I can’t leave my sister…you know that” she softly pulled his hands away.
“Impreza’s hatred has already taken root in her. If this does not end soon…you won’t have a sister to go back to.”
Solara didn’t have an answer for that.
ooo
“How’s she doing?” Umi asked as she and Hikaru checked in on Fuu. The night had been quiet, thankfully, and everyone had gotten some well deserved rest. Except for perhaps Ferio who’d not slept one bit, he’d stayed up all night watching over her.
“She’s not woken up yet, but her color’s returning and the wounds are starting to close” he was sitting in a chair he’d pulled up to Fuu’s bed. He looked up to the girls as they entered smiling weakly; his eyes had dark shadows under them. He looked like he could barely sit himself.
“We’re about to meet in the throne room, Clef’s called everyone” Hikaru looked down at Fuu’s sleeping form, “He put up a magical barrier around the room so no one should be able to harm her.” She reached down and gave her friend’s hand a small squeeze.
“Are you going to come?” Umi asked as she started to head back to the door, Hikaru joining her.
“Yes, I’m coming. I’ll be there in a minuet.” The prince looked back to Fuu as the girls nodded understandingly and left quietly. “I’ll be back soon, I promise,” leaning forward he kissed her forehead and then stood to follow Umi and Hikaru. He was about to close her door when a flash of something red…no maroon, caught his eye. Whipping his head to the left he saw him, the man from before.
He was standing in the shadows of the doorway across the hall, looking exactly the same as he’d the day before. His face was hidden in the shadows but his posture didn’t seem to be aggressive, it was almost casual, but still Ferio tensed.
“I mean no harm” Camry stepped forward into the light. “I only wish to ask you something.”
“What do you want to ask?” Ferio still didn’t move and glanced suspiciously at him.
“What is most precious to you? Is it Cephiro or something else?” Camry repeated the very same question Sentra had asked Hikaru.
“What?” Ferio was knocked a little off guard by the sudden, strange question. That had not been a question he was expecting.
“Cephiro…is a very precious thing, it is a county that far too many have given their lives for. But is it more precious to you than she?” Camry nodded toward the door where Fuu rested.
Ferio seemed to waver in his answering, he knew his answer but it was if he felt guilty in saying it aloud.
“You should not feel guilty in saying you value her more, any person who loves someone as you love her would answer the same, even if they were unwilling to admit it. It is not as noble as you might think to deny what you want most in this world.” Camry took a few steps forward down the hallway but then glanced back over his shoulder at the prince, “Stay with her, moments with those we hold dear are small and fleeting and may not come again. Stay with her, she needs you.”
Ferio watched after the strange man as he left in the direction of the throne room. He looked back into the room at Fuu and then back down the hall. He seemed to make a decision and he disappeared back into Fuu’s room taking up his seat once more, holding her hand. Waiting on his princess to awaken.
ooo
Hikaru and Umi had joined with everyone else in the throne room and were waiting on Ferio. The room was full of muted, hushed conversations as everyone seated themselves.
Lafarga stood behind the seated Ascot and Caldina; Lantis stood in a similar fashion behind Hikaru and Umi. Clef was in his usual seat with Presea by his side and Eagle was off to the side a bit behind Lantis leaning against the wall.
Umi tried to watch him covertly from the corner of her eye but failed miserably as he caught her twice and smiled at her both times. A highlight reel of the previous night’s events ran thought her head, including the impromptu kiss on her forehead he’d given her. She blushed profusely at the mere thought and tired to not to make too much of it.
No one seemed to really notice except for perhaps Lantis who silently watched the Water Knight and then shifted his gaze to his friend. Eagle noticed and smiled at him innocently as if he knew nothing at all. It was quick but it appeared that the Cail actually rolled his eyes.
“Where is Ferio at?” Presea asked starting to become impatient.
“He said he’d be right here” Hikaru answered.
It was then the throne room doors opened, swinging wide as a figure stepped through. Everyone turned expecting Ferio but they were surprised to see Camry walk slowly in, once again coming from the shadows into the light. His foot steps were heavy, measured as he strode forward into the center of the room.
Lantis and Lafarga reached for weapons instantly and Eagle pushed off the wall as well.
“Wait!” Hikaru stood and gripped Lantis’ sleeve, “This is the man who helped us yesterday!” she pleaded with her eyes and Lantis relaxed slightly as did Lafarga.
“He may have helped us but we still don’t know who he is or why he helped us” Umi stood as well her ovum gem swirled uneasily. “So are you going to answer my question now?” she frowned.
“I said I would return and answer your questions as soon as your fellow knight was taken care of. I am a man of my word so here I am. As answer to your question Lady Water Knight my name is Camry” he bowed placing one hand on his chest revealing a pearl colored ovum gem on his glove. His white bangs fell into his eyes and bit and he pushed them back as he stood strait.
And where are you from, exactly?” Hikaru asked. She was the most at ease for she took Rayearth’s words to heart and did not fear the man.
Camry smiled, “Ah my dear Fire Knight I was born right here in Cephiro.”
“Then how come we’ve never met you before? Clef doesn’t know you and someone with you abilities in magic should be more well know. I don’t recall you being with the refuges in the castle during the previous battle.” Presea crossed her arms waiting on the answer to the question.
“That is because, dear lady, I’m quite a bit older than the good Guru. In more years than I care to count actually. I also said I was born here, I did not say I remained here. Though the place I have been is Cephiro and yet not.” He seemed to enjoy the reactions to each answer he gave.
There were quite a few shocked faces at that statement.
“What does that mean?” Umi was very irritated by his vague incoherent answers.
“Tell me, what do you think happens to those who fail the test to become the Pillar of Cephiro?” a weak voice spoke up from the back of the room.
All eyes went to the doors as Ferio stepped though carrying a very tired, but very awake Fuu.
“Fuu!” “You’re awake!” Umi and Hikaru went to them both instantly.
The blond smiled weakly, “I’m alright” she waved them off and Ferio sat her down gently and then sat beside her.
“She insisted on coming in here the second she woke up” he sighed and fell back into the plush chair he was in, he looked about half alive but relieved that she had woken.
Fuu shifted to make herself more comfortable, not an easy task givin it hurt to do just about anything, but she knew this was important. “That was what that woman told me, the smaller one, she asked me that right before the vines took me. ““What do you think happens to those who fail the test?”” she said. At this she turned her eyes to Camry. “Who is he now?” she pointed.
“Camry is my name Lady Wind Knight. I’m glad to see you about.”
“He helped us out after you passed out” Umi offered to help her connect the pieces.
They clicked into place quite easily for Fuu and she understood. “So why did he help us?”
“I was just about to explain that” Camry smiled sadly; “If the Guru would be so kind?” he looked to Clef.
Clef nodded understanding and produced another chair, despite its size the room was getting quite full.
Camry sat down and took a heavy breath, his playful nature seemed to take a backseat and a more serious man took its place. “Lady Fire Knight…”
“Oh, call me Hikaru please.”
“Alright.” He smiled a little, “Hikaru may I ask you something?” He folded his hands resting his chin on them.
“Yes…” she was a little confused at his sudden change in temperament.
“When you became the Pillar did the creator tell you what happens to the ones who fail the test?” His posture was solemn and seemed rigid, he was about to talk about something that made him uncomfortable.
“Yes, well…in a way. It was when I was trying to bring Eagle with me…” Hikaru glanced at the commander who smiled at her gently. “I was trying to come back to Cephiro from our world and bring Eagle back, but I couldn’t go though and the harder I tried the more injured I became.”
She had her eyes on Eagle the whole time; it was something that really the two of them only shared. Neither of them had really shared with the others what had happened between the two of them, it was a special link that was just between them.
She smiled weakly, “He tired to get me to let go and not try to save him, because he was dying anyways. The Creator had said, “The only one who can travel back to Cephiro is the new Pillar. The one who didn’t have what it takes…is banished.” But Umi and Fuu came down the road and we were able to make it back to Cephiro, together.” She smiled that same warm smile at her two fellow knights who returned the gesture.
“Yes, banished is the proper word for what happens to the ones who fail” All eyes had been on Hikaru and now quickly darted back when Camry spoke again. “For once one passes down that road there is no coming back.”
“Where…do they go?” Presea asked the sensible question.
“To a placed filled with ice and snow…ice and darkness, where there is no light. It is a part of Cephiro and yet not, a negative of Cephiro you could say. A lifeless place of endless night…” Camry’s eyes were dark as he described it. “A place that is an eternal nightmare.”
“Why…?” Hikaru face was filled with horror at the mere thought of someone being sent there, “Why are they sent there, just because they don’t have the ability to become the Pillar…they’re sent there?”
Camry gave her a humorless smile, “Only the Creator knows some things; that I can not tell you.”
“How do you know of such a place? If the ones who pass there don’t come back.” Clef asked; he’d never heard of such a place.
“Because he’s passed down that road…haven’t you?” Fuu asked softly. She’d been watching Camry and there was just something in his voice that told her he was speaking from experience.
“You were a candidate to become Pillar?” Hikaru gazed wide eyed at Camry.
“Yes, but that was very long ago” Camry’s voice was very quite and he didn’t meet anyone’s gaze.
Umi was silent, she’d been thinking over what the women in the fight had said. ‘Something about the ‘other side’, this must have been what they were talking about. That must mean they too…’ the idea alone was staggering. ‘All of them…were once candidates for the Pillar.’
The cold eyes of Solara flashed past in her memory. ‘Her, that cold woman, a Pillar candidate? Her sister Sentra too, both of them. Wait…’ her thoughts suddenly stopped on a small point she had not thought about until now. ‘Sentra said Camry shouldn’t be helping us after what happened…because he knew the Pillar in his time.’
She looked up to the man wanting to ask but not sure if she dared to tread that painful path.
Camry seemed to sense her gaze and looked up to her. They locked eyes for a moment and she saw a flicker of emotion pass through them. Then he chuckled darkly, “So you know now don’t you?” he surprised everyone speaking directly to Umi.
“That woman, Sentra…she said something…” Umi was almost sorry she’d figured it out after seeing that flash of pain in his eyes.
“Yes, I knew the previous Pillar in my time, before I became a candidate” He stood slowly, cloak sliding off the chair with a soft hiss of fabric against wood.
Turning he faced the other way for a moment, “That’s often how it happens, candidates usually know the previous Pillar. The ability to become the Pillar requires a massive about of willpower as you know, would it make any sense for an unknown person to come forward and suddenly have the ability? It’s almost always a Guru, a Sol, even a Cail or in your case… a Magic Knight.” He lifted his eyes to Hikaru for a second.
She was sitting a little closer to Umi; the two friends were clutching each other’s hands tightly. Even Fuu was looking away her hand gripped tightly at Ferio’s tunic. It would never be a easy subject for any of them to speak about.
“Though there are exceptions” he glanced at Eagle who was looking at Umi and Hikaru with a concerned expression.
Eagle looked up, his eyes were reserved, dark, “But then I too knew in a way…” His voice was soft, “from Lantis.” He looked to his friend who nodded lightly.
Camry was looking away once more his eyes distant. It was barely above a whisper when he spoke again, “Her name was Avalon…she was similar to your Emeraude. Just a girl, but she loved this world with everything that she was. She had a heart shaped face and grey eyes...with brown hair that curled...” he seemd to wonder for a moment lost in a memory.
“Did the Magic Knights then…” Fuu asked quietly, “Did they have to fight someone who was trying to protect her, like we did?”
“No, they didn’t.” Camry had his back to them now. “She had no one to protect her. No one tried to stop the Magic Knights she summoned.”
The three Knights seemed surprised.
“Didn’t the person she loved try to stop them?” Hikaru asked slowly.
“Magic Knight…” Camry turned back slowly to look at her, “There was no one that loved her in the way you speak of.”
There was a solemn silence for a moment.
“But then why did she summon Magic Knights?” Fuu didn’t understand why.
“She did not summon Magic Knights because she had fallen in love with someone. She did not love anyone more than Cephiro.”
“Then why did she…?” Umi could barely ask.
“Because, she couldn’t bare being alone anymore. Yes she had her High Priest, her guard, the cail of her time as captain, the Guru. But she loved none of them in the way you speak of and none of them loved her in such a way.” He paused for a moment and then continued.
“No she was alone, day in and day out. No one to talk to, no one to confide her fears in. No one to go to in the bitter night when all her sorrow and loneliness seemed to close in about her. She truly bore the weight of this world upon her shoulders with no one to aide her until eventually she could no longer bare the burden.”
“She…summoned… the Knights…because…” Hikaru voice broke, she couldn’t even finish her question.
“When her pain became too great Cephiro began to collapse and she knew what she had to do, I think even if Cephiro had not started to crumble she would have summoned them anyways. I’m sure your Emeraude didn’t want to die, but because she knew she had to save this world she did. If there had been another choice I’m sure she would have wished to live. Not Avalon, she longed to die and end it all. She really was just a scared, lonely child…” Camry’s voice was monotone and lifeless, perhaps the only way he could recount the tale was to detach himself as much as possible.
Fuu wrung her hands; though Camry had told them about the Pillar of his time he had yet to tell them how he knew her. From how it sounded he appeared to have been very close to her but from what he said she didn’t seem to have been close to any of her subjects. “Camry…how did you…know her then?” she ventured not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.
Camry didn’t seem to hear her as he continued on, “After summoning the Magic Knights she sent everyone away, her Sol and the Guru, all the palace guards. After she emptied out her palace she then sent for one person…” he stopped again, unable to gather the words.
“Who did she call?” Hikaru whispered.
“She called for the one person all lonely, scared children call for…and I went to her when she called me…” he hung his head obscuring his face and eyes from everyone behind his pale bangs.
‘Scared… scared children always…’ The pieces fell painfully and horribly into place for Umi. Tears started to fall from her eyes for she couldn’t hold them back and her hands flew up covering her mouth in utter disbelief and horror. “No…” she choked out.
“Umi, what is it?” Eagle stepped forward at her outburst; he went to her as she began to tremble. “Umi?” he sat next to her and Hikaru turned to her as well worriedly gripping her shoulder.
“Umi?!” she asked staring to panic.
“That’s too horrible…just horrible…” her tears kept coming as her voice raised a bit in pitch. “She was your…” she shook her head back and forth unable to come to terms with such a horrific thing. “Your daughter!” she finally cried out.
One could have heard a pin drop in that room, Hikaru’s hand dropped from Umi’s shoulder in stunned realization and tears pricked her eyes as well. “Daughter…?” Lantis was by her side then taking her hand.
Fuu let out a tiny gasp, her hand gripped Ferio’s hard enough to pop the joints. He snapped out of his own shock and reached out to her worriedly and took her other hand.
Camry did not answer but his silence alone was answer in its self.
Eagle pulled Umi to him, trying to comfort her as her sobbing continued. She didn’t resist, burying her face into his shirt. He put an arm around her shoulders and cradeled her against his chest. "Umi..."
Camry suddenly spoke, “I’ll…return later” it sounded like he could barely speak. He turned with a rush of air as his cloak spun behind him. As soon as he reached the shadows of the doorway he disappeared, leaving the stunned assembly behind.
No one could blame him.
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An: I nearly cried writing this chapter, I've become quite attached to Camry and writing his past was a painful task in itself. Thanks for reading everyone. Once again any questions I'll be gald to answer. Thanks again.

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