Chapter 1 - Betsy and teh Carrot Slim Jim
Submitted February 9, 2007 Updated February 9, 2007 Status Complete | late night, pepsi, pixie sticks, written by me and my cousin
Category:
Fantasy » Misc. Fantasy |
Chapter 1 - Betsy and teh Carrot Slim Jim
Chapter 1 - Betsy and teh Carrot Slim Jim
Once upon a time there lived a mystical fairy leprechaun named Betsy. Betsy was the ugliest fairy leprechaun but had the most kind and loving heart. Even though his heart was made of gold, his liver wasn’t. So one day while Betsy was frolicking in the meadow by the butt flower patch he stopped and wondered. “I wonder how I would look completely shaved...” he wondered so hard his spleen went *insert mushroom cloud here* which didnt make him so happy, indeed.
As the years went by, Betsy became very lonely and therefore wanted a lady leprechaun. So one night before tucking himself into the sorry excuse for a bed he wish upon a cheese. He wished he may he wished he might have a wish he wished that night. After wishing upon that cheese that night that he wished upon that cheese Betsy soon drifted into a one night coma. The next day Betsy had already gotten up and eaten his grits and pudding skins and was setting off for his morning frolic. But Betsy was none the wiser to the fact that Little bo peep had lost her sheep, and didn’t know where to find them. So being the kind hearted leprechaun he is, he called for his fiddlers three. And they danced onun on nun on nun on nun on nun on nun on with me.
Of course Jack and Jill couldn’t pass up the opportunity, so they tumbled down the hill while Jack broke his crown and jill was crackin up. However, her laughter was cut short when that sheep that was supposedly lost came and popped her implant which didn’t make her happy one iota. Needing comfort she called on her trusty bootay call Jack who just happened to be nimble. Then Betsy, who had seen all of this, watched in horror as nimble Jack and popped implant Jill had lamb chops. Later on that day, the people who attended the dance with the fiddlers three were invited to Betsy’s house to watch pootytang.
They were all enjoying the movie when Jack announced that he wanted popcorn. Unfortunately, because Betsy got cable from the guy in the Bronx the cable suddenly shut off. This, of course made everyone very VERY angry,...indeed. So angry that Mary ended up shooting the stupid lamb. Before the lamb keeled over, he utter his finale words, “y u hatin?” And Mary’s response was “Whatevea, I do what I waaant!” Which upseted Betsy dearly, so dearly that he had to say, “ya’ll peeps aint gotta go home but chall gotta get the heck up outta here.” Everyone rose up to leave only after they stole Betsy’s major appliances.
Exhausted after a day of blood and really cool gore Betsy dragged himself to his bedroom only to let out a surprised gasp. The Gingerbread Man laid nude in his sleeping device. Betsy then thought back to the night before when he wished he may and he wished he might that he would have the wish that he wished that night and decided that the people up there had a sick sense of humor. Pushing his thoughts aside he yelled out “well hawt dawg” as him and the Gingerbread Man did the Irish jig. And him and the Gingerbread Man jigged all night, that was until Betsy got hungry, and I guess you can guess what happened next. Can’t guess can you? Well I’ll tell you.
He ate....a granola bar! Then the Gingerbread man let out a blood curdling cry, “GRAMMAMA!” There was an awkward pause as Betsy replied saying “woops.” Gingerbread Man looked at him shocked and appalled, then Betsy held out the granola bar and offered him some. “Noooooo *finger wiggle*” said Gingerbread Man. Since Gingerbread Man didn’t want any he gobbled up the rest. And all the rest is history...
The End?..
As the years went by, Betsy became very lonely and therefore wanted a lady leprechaun. So one night before tucking himself into the sorry excuse for a bed he wish upon a cheese. He wished he may he wished he might have a wish he wished that night. After wishing upon that cheese that night that he wished upon that cheese Betsy soon drifted into a one night coma. The next day Betsy had already gotten up and eaten his grits and pudding skins and was setting off for his morning frolic. But Betsy was none the wiser to the fact that Little bo peep had lost her sheep, and didn’t know where to find them. So being the kind hearted leprechaun he is, he called for his fiddlers three. And they danced onun on nun on nun on nun on nun on nun on with me.
Of course Jack and Jill couldn’t pass up the opportunity, so they tumbled down the hill while Jack broke his crown and jill was crackin up. However, her laughter was cut short when that sheep that was supposedly lost came and popped her implant which didn’t make her happy one iota. Needing comfort she called on her trusty bootay call Jack who just happened to be nimble. Then Betsy, who had seen all of this, watched in horror as nimble Jack and popped implant Jill had lamb chops. Later on that day, the people who attended the dance with the fiddlers three were invited to Betsy’s house to watch pootytang.
They were all enjoying the movie when Jack announced that he wanted popcorn. Unfortunately, because Betsy got cable from the guy in the Bronx the cable suddenly shut off. This, of course made everyone very VERY angry,...indeed. So angry that Mary ended up shooting the stupid lamb. Before the lamb keeled over, he utter his finale words, “y u hatin?” And Mary’s response was “Whatevea, I do what I waaant!” Which upseted Betsy dearly, so dearly that he had to say, “ya’ll peeps aint gotta go home but chall gotta get the heck up outta here.” Everyone rose up to leave only after they stole Betsy’s major appliances.
Exhausted after a day of blood and really cool gore Betsy dragged himself to his bedroom only to let out a surprised gasp. The Gingerbread Man laid nude in his sleeping device. Betsy then thought back to the night before when he wished he may and he wished he might that he would have the wish that he wished that night and decided that the people up there had a sick sense of humor. Pushing his thoughts aside he yelled out “well hawt dawg” as him and the Gingerbread Man did the Irish jig. And him and the Gingerbread Man jigged all night, that was until Betsy got hungry, and I guess you can guess what happened next. Can’t guess can you? Well I’ll tell you.
He ate....a granola bar! Then the Gingerbread man let out a blood curdling cry, “GRAMMAMA!” There was an awkward pause as Betsy replied saying “woops.” Gingerbread Man looked at him shocked and appalled, then Betsy held out the granola bar and offered him some. “Noooooo *finger wiggle*” said Gingerbread Man. Since Gingerbread Man didn’t want any he gobbled up the rest. And all the rest is history...
The End?..
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