Chapter 21 - The Battlefield experience… Part two…

The Battlefield experience… Part two…



Previously, on “The Battlefield experience…”

Eggman had a devious plan to take over Nintendo, Sega and EA Games to create his own game industry without the rivalry of the others. Sonic and the cast discovered that a crapload of characters was dumped in there dimension. Eggman caused a machine to do a Chaos Control, while they ended up in the game Battlefield 2142… Eggman placed them in the game to wipe out the leading game characters and gain dominance of the game stock market!



Blain’s squad got blown up by an orbital strike while they were capturing an outpost…



Shadow’s squad managed to take over an outpost while they were taking fire. Sonic accidentally killed Knuckles with a defibrillator… -_-‘



And now… Back to the story… Or something…



Shadow’s squad… Outpost #4 conquered…


All: ……
Shadow: What?!
Princess Peach: Oer! *gets out EMP grenade*
All: O_o
Princess Peach: Shiney…
Luigi: Don’t drop it…
Princess Peach: Whoops! ^-^ *drops it*
EMP grenade: *click*
Bomberman: WHEEEEEE!!! SHE’S A TERRORIST TOO!! I LIKE YOU!!!1
Shadow: Oh for fu-

The EMP grenade exploded, which caused an… EMP… The advanced helmets of the squads are affected by it, causing the visuals are blurry and the colours go messed up…



Luigi: Dude!! That was like the first time I was on those mushrooms man!
Slippy: I CANT SEE!!!
Bomberman: PEACH IS THE BOMB YO!! HA!! HA!! HAHA!! HA!! GET IT?!! BOMB?!!
All: ………
Bomberman: Never mind…
Commander: Squad leader!
Shadow: WHAT?!!!
Commander: Eehm… Never mind…
Shadow: …… I swear, if I ever come out here alive, I’m gonna spend the rest of my life alone…

Commander: Assault this position.
Shadow: ……………
Commander: Please…..?
Shadow: T_T
Commander: Do it for me…?
Shadow: No… I’ve had it!!
Commander: PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP?!!
Shadow: *Sighs* Fine, we need a vehicle drop.
Commander: Affirmative, vehicle drop in your sector!
Shadow: *Sighs* Finally!

A car was dropped by parachute…



Shadow: Get in!
All: Ok!

They squeezed themselves in the car… Peppi noticed the car is damaged…



Peppi: Look eeh… I’m not a technician, but eeh… Shouldn’t the wheel be under the car instead of in the backseat…?

All: …………… *stares at Luigi*
Luigi: What?!
Sonic: You’re the engineer here! It’s your job to fix these things!
Luigi: I didn’t chose this kit!
Slippy: Well you fix it!
Luigi: Yeah but-
Shadow: YOU’RE A GODDAMN PLUMBER!! JUST FIX IT!!!
Luigi: O_o

After Luigi got out… He tried to fix the wheel… Few seconds after that…



Luigi: Ok… Eehm… I think I got the wheel fixed…
All: YAAY!!

Then the car just fell into pieces…



Luigi: Heh… -_-‘
Shadow: Oh damn it…
Luigi: Atleast the wheel is still attached… ^-^

Wheel falls off…



Luigi: Heh… Gues we’re going on foot then! ^-^
Shadow: ………… *picks up wheel and throws that at Luigi’s head*

Deathconsole: Shadow [ Wheel ] teamkill Luigi



Shadow: What the frack… T_T

Bomberman: ENEMY WALKER SPOTTED!!!1
Peppi: EVASIVE MANOEUVRES!!!

They all jumped up in a tree… The walker walked passed them…



Bomberman: Is it gone?!
Slippy: HEY!! YOUR STANDING ON MY FOOT!!
Peppi: SHOVE OVER!!1
Shadow: Will you shut up?! That thing is still around!
Princess Peach: I cant feel my legs!
Knuckles: AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Shadow: WHAT IS IT?!!1 YOU’VE BEEN SHOT?!!1
Knuckles: No! Someone’s gun is poking my butt!!
All: T_T
Sonic: Eeh, Sorry, that would be me…
Luigi: Guys! That thing is coming back!!
Shadow: Noooooooooooo……. Really?!! *sarcastic*
Luigi: Yes!
Slippy: Peppi! Stop moving! You’re making us gonna fall out!


Then Luigi spawns back at there place, falling out of the sky landing on the branch… The branch snapped… Luigi, Slippy and Princess peach fell out of the tree… The walker sees it… And stands in front of them…



Princess Peach: Oh dear…
Luigi: Eehm…
Slippy: I SURRENDER!!
Luigi: Yeah! PAC rules!!
All: …………
Slippy: I hate you Luigi…

The battlewalker charges up… And fired the main cannons… Luigi, Slippy and Peach got blown up and a huge hole is in the ground… Then the walker walks away…



Deathconsole: D. Derakoba [ T-39 Bogatyr ] Luigi

D. Derakoba [ T-39 Bogatyr ] Princess Peach

D. Derakoba [ T-39 Bogatyr ] Slippy



Bomber: WHOA!!! I LOVE IT!!! THEY WENT BOOM!!!!
Shadow: Luigi almost got blown into space!
Sonic: Nah… Peach came higher…
Shadow: You think…?
Knuckles: Yeah, Peach came definitely higher.
Sonic: Told you so…

Meanwhile… On the other end of the world… A battlewalker of the EU stands there…



Pacman: Hey! I think we’ve made it!
Megaman: Welcome to… Tahiti…
Pacman: What the frack… We’re in the wrong city…


Meanwhile… At Blain’s squad… Nobody has spawned yet… It’s been a while since they got blown up and Blain is wandering on his own in this Godforsaken place…



Blain: Where the hell are they…?

Then Blain hears a vehicle approaching from behind. He turns around…

Blain: Hey! Requesting a pick up!!

Blain got hit by the car…



Deathconsole: Link [ MK-15 Bandit ] Blain



Link: Sorry!! I still didn’t learn how to drive this!

After Blain came back and blew the car up with a rocketlauncher…



Deathconsole: Blain [ MITCHELL AV-18 ] teamkill Link



Slippy: Why did you do that?
Blain: Because I’m getting annoyed by him!!
Peppi: You’re becoming more like Falco…
Blain: Like I care!!
Peppi: But… You killed Link!
Blain: Yes!! I know that I killed-

Then Link spawns at there location…



Blain: Link…?
Link: Yes?
Blain: If I ever see you driving a car again, I’m gonna shove your sword up your @$$…

Link: Okiedokie!
Blain: ……
Link: ^_^
Blain: By the way, where are the others…?
Peppi: Who?
Blain: Rouge, Fox, Mario, Falco, Kirby and Megaman?
Peppi: Oh…
Blain: Well…?
Peppi: I don’t know… Megaman was missing the whole time…
Blain: ……… And the others…?
Slippy: OER!! OER!! I KNOW!! PICK ME!! I KNOW!! PICK ME!! PICK ME!!
Blain: *sighs* Yes…?
Slippy: …………
Blain: Speak up… T_T
Slippy: I forgot…
Blain: ……… *slaps Slippy*

Then suddenly, they heard an air transport hovering above them and descending…



Kirby: Hey! Up here!
Peppi: Yeah! We’re back on the road!
Blain: Deus Ex Machina…
Slippy: What does that mean…?
Blain: It’s latin for “Shut the hell up or I’ll pump ya up tungsten-core ammo”
Slippy: ‘_’
Blain: Well get in!!

So they all got in, and flew to the outpost they had to attack… Once they arrived, the all stand at the flag…



Link: Hey! This is going great!
Fox: Yeah! Nobody died while we were flying!
Falco: Fox should have been chosen as squad leader… T_T
Fox: Aw Falco! YOU’RE SO KAWAII!!1
Falco: ‘_’
Peppi: I think he was being sarcastic…
Falco: *backs away slowly from Fox*

Blain: Rouge, wassup? Something on your mind…?
Rouge: Well… I just wanna get out of here…
Blain: We all want to get out of here.
Rouge: Yeah but, this is taking so long! I mean, how long does it take?
Kirby: Well, according to this, the game is based on tickets. Each time a soldier gets killed, or an outpost has been captured, a ticket goes off from the total points. The team who ends up with 0 points loses the game.

All: Ah…
Kirby: That’s why we need to capture those outposts. You know when you’re dead, you can choose where you want to spawn?

All: Yes…
Kirby: Well, when all the outposts are taken, we cant spawn anymore. It’s up to the remaining soldiers to capture them. When we all are dead and every outpost has been captured… We lose. Which mean, if we cant spawn, we wont be able to get back…

All: Meaning…
Kirby: That we’re stuck here in this game forever… *dramatic reverb*

All: …………
Peppi: How did you know?
Kirby: Just a guess… *hides game manual*
All: T_T


Rouge: I just… Wanna go home. I’m tired, and cold…
Blain: Aw… Gimme a hug…
Rouge: …… No…
Blain: Give the squadleader a hug goddamn it…

Rouge hugs Blain…


Link: Aawh… Look at them… There cute…
Mario: Reminds me of Peach…
Link: My Zelda…
Kirby: My cookies… *sniffles*
Falco: My… Wait, I don’t have a girlfriend…
Fox: GUYS!! I CANT TAKE IT NO MORE!! THE EMOTIONS ARE OVER WHELMING!! LET’S GIVE EACHOTHER A BIG GROUP HUG!! *hugs Falco*

Falco: GET OFFA ME!! *punches Fox*

Kirby: You know… I’ve been thinking…
All: What…?
Kirby: We’ve been standing here for a while but the outpost isn’t captured yet…
All: ……
Kirby: That can only mean one thing…
All: What…?
Kirby: Well… We’re with 7. If the outpost isn’t captured by 7 people that means there must be equally or even more enemy’s out there defending the flag…

Peppi: But… There’s no shooting and-

Deathconsole: E. Dragunov [ Krylov FA-3 ] Peppi



They all turn around…



Blain: What the hell?!
Kirby: Now they are…

They started shooting… They all managed to take some down, but… It gets to many…



Blain: I’M OUT OF AMMO!!
Kirby: WHAT?!! I CANT HEAR!!
Blain: I SAID IM OUT OF AMMO!!!
Kirby: FOX IS A SUPPORT SOLDIER!! HE CAN SUPPLY YOU WITH AMMO!!
Blain: WHERE IS HE?!!
Kirby: OVER THERE!!
Blain: THANKS!!

Blain ran and jumped over obstacles… He made it to Fox…



Blain: Fox! What the hell are you doing?!!
Fox: What?
Blain: We’re taking fire!! Shoot for fracks sake!
Fox: Are we under fire…?
Blain: YES!!
Fox: With enemy soldiers?
Blain: ………………… Yes!!!
Fox: ………… Bye! *runs away*
Blain: T_T

Commander: We’re losing this battle! Try harder man!
Blain: WE’RE ALREADY TRYING YOU SON OF A dog!!

Deathconsole: Fox was killed for deserting the battlefield



Blain: Heh! Suits him right!
Kirby: BLAIN!! I NEED A HAND HERE!!
Blain: I’M OUT OF AMMO!!
Kirby: WHERE’S FOX?!!
Blain: DEAD!! *chuckles*
Kirby: MARIO IS A SUPPORT TOO!! GO TO HIM!!

Blain runs towards Mario…



Blain: MARIO!! I NEED AMMO!!
Mario: See this gun?!
Blain: …… Yes…
Mario: AMMO IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY!!
Blain: Give me some goddamn ammo motherfracker!!
Mario: *retarded sound*
Blain: O_o
Mario: ^-^
Blain: *stabs him*

Deathconsole: Blain [ Combat knife ] teamkill Mario

Blain picks up Mario’s kit and has the Bianchi FA 4… A big @$$ weapon who can shoot a lot of bullets…



Commander: We’re running low on reinforcements!

Kirby: Oh crap… We’re starting to lose! Contact that black dude!!
Blain: That sounds so wrong man…
Kirby: JUST CONTACT HIM!!
Blain: You mean Shadow? Kirby: YEAH!!
Blain: Shadow!! You read?! We need back up here!!

Blain looks left and right and saw that Peppi, Slippy, Falco, Kirby and Rouge were gunned down…



Blain: SHADOW!! WE NEED BACK UP NOW!!

Link: We cant stay here!
Blain: SHADOW!! THERE BLOWING US AWAY!! RETREAT!!



Not long after that… Blain and Link are retreating… Meanwhile, at Shadow’s squad… They were told to attack the last outpost on a hill, where they can see the city down… There’s heavy fighting going on…



Knuckles: Whoa… Did you see that?
Sonic: Yeah…
Princess Peach: Shouldn’t we help them?! Shadow: We’ve got orders to take this outpost!
Princess Peach: You see what’s happening down there!
Shadow: But if we manage to take this outpost, the PAC forces got nowhere to spawn!!

Luigi: Hey look! Fox, Peppi, Falco and Slippy are dead!
Knuckles: Look! There goes Link and Blain!!

Deathconsole: T. Erdovanovich [ T-39 Bogatyr ] Link



Sonic: Ouch… That’s gotta hurt…
Luigi: WE NEED TO HELP THEM!!
Shadow: Fine! Bomberman! Luigi?!
Both: Yes?!
Shadow: Guard this position! The rest, follow me!!

All: Right-o!
Shadow: T_T

They all ran down the hill except for Bomberman and Luigi… They assisted Blain…



Blain: Shadow!!
Shadow: Thought you could use some help!
Blain: Hell yeah!

After a while, Blain’s squad spawns at there locations…



Commander: This is it… We’re the last ones left…

Shadow looked up the hill and the PAC flag rising up… Luigi and Bomberman got killed and after a while, they all spawn back at Shadow’s position…



Kirby: THIS IS IT GUYS!! THE GAME IS ALMOST ENDED!! ITS NOW OR NEVER!!

Kirby turns around and got shot. He didn’t died, because the enemy soldier was reloading. Kirby got furious…



Kirby: YOU EVIL DO’ER!!!!1 *inhales the soldier*
Soldier: ‘_’
Kirby: Hey! Check it out! I got the Russian outfit!
Shadow: What the…
Kirby: What?
Shadow: DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU’VE JUST DONE?!!
Kirby: Yes… Eating a PAC soldier…
Shadow: NO YOU IDIOT!! YOU’VE MANAGED TO TWEAK THE GAME!!
Kirby: ……
Shadow: NORMALLY, THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!! BUT THERE’S A GLITCH!! YOU CAN USE YOUR POWERS THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR OWN GAMES!!

All including enemy soldiers: O_o
Sonic: Hmm… Let’s try… *spindashes at a group of guys*
Knuckles: IT WORKS!! *bashes some guys*
Bomberman: HEY!! MAYBE MY POWERS WORK TOO!! *runs to some guys and detonates himself*

Deathconsole: Bomberman [ C8 explosives ] J. Yveborg

Bomberman [ C8 explosives ] F. Lindblom

Bomberman [ C8 explosives ] M. Kylmamaa

Bomberman [ C8 explosives ] A. Tjernblom

Bomberman killed himself



Shadow: Guess that didn’t work… T_T
Luigi: Hey Mario! You know what that means?!!
Mario: Yes Luigi!
Both: IT’S WRECKING TIME!! *jumps on guys and get 100 points*
Blain: FALCO!!
Falco: Yes?!!
Blain: YOU GO CAPTURE THE LAST OUTPOST WITH FOX, PEPPI AND SLIPPY!!

Falco: What about you guys?!
Blain: We’re gonna kick some @$$!! GO NOW!!
Falco: Right-o! Follow me!!

Blain: Heh…

Blain loads up his machinegun and aims it at the large group of enemy soldiers… He’s in a prone position and opened fire…



Shadow: ………… I’m surrounded by idiots…

Shadow looked at Mario and Luigi who were jumping up and down on soldiers… Gaining 100 points each time…



Mario: YIPPIE!!
Luigi: YAHOO!!1

Shadow then looks at Kirby who keeps eating soldiers…



Kirby: Yummeh…

Link who is slashing soldiers with his sword…



Link: You smell it…? That’s the smell of fear… The smell of blood…

Rouge who is smacking soldiers with her boobs… Bomberman who keeps sacrificing himself to blow the shoot out of the enemy soldiers…



Everyone is acting weird… Then suddenly… Something snapped inside Shadow…



Shadow: Where’s my Maria?!!
Sonic: What?
Shadow: MARIA PROMISED ME TO TAKE ME TO MCDONALDS FOR A HAPPY MEAL!! BUT I DON’T HAVE A HAPPY MEAL!!! *grabs Sonic’s shoulders and shakes him like hell*

Sonic: Dude!! What the hell?!!
Shadow: GODDAMN IT!! *shakes him even harder*
Sonic: LET GO OF ME!!
Kirby: According to my analysis, Shadow saw to much randomness and *burp*
Sonic: O_o
Kirby: ‘Cuse me! ^-^
Sonic: -_-‘
Kirby: Anyway… He lost it…

Commander: We’ve regained the upper hand! Well done!
Kirby: YES!! NOW LETS FINISH OFF THE REMAINING FORCES!!

PAC soldiers: O_o
All: *evil grin*
Soldier: Truce….?
Kirby: Nope! ^_^ *gobbles him up*

Not long after that… The PAC forces got wiped out… Since they had no more spawnpoints… They lost… The victory tune is heard… Everyone cheers happily that they are alive.



Kirby: WE DID IT!! WE’VE WON!!

But the cheering got cut off, when they saw someone walking towards them… It’s there commander…



Commander: ………
Rouge: We’ve won!!
Commander: ……
Slippy: Aren’t you happy?!
Knuckles: Who are you?!
Commander: ……
Sonic: Take your helmet off!!

The commander takes his helmet off… Everyone gasps…



Sonic: EGGMAN!!
Eggman: What, surprised to see me….?
Sonic: Well actually, yeah… What the hell are you doing here?!
Eggman: Eeh… I tried to wipe you guys out but… eeh… I forgot that I was there when you all got transported here…

Blain: So you’re the one who placed that orbital strike on us!!
Eggman: Yes…
Blain: Heh, you suck as a commander… Hell, you’re a noob in bf2142…
Eggman: I just want to set up my game industry! Is that to much to ask for?!
Rouge: Well actually, no… Just set it up and if people like it, they’ll buy your games…


Eggman: Really?
All: Yes…

*long silence*

They all kicked the crap out of Eggman… After that, a portal opens up and they all say goodbye…


Link: ………… Bye… *runs in portal*
Kirby: Well… Cya Blain…
Blain: Cya… AW COME HERE YOU CUTE LITTLE PINK DUDE!! HUG ME!!
Kirby: …… Don’t make me eat you…
Blain: O_o
Fox: LETS GO BEAT ANDROSS!!
Falco: Dude… He’s already dead…
Fox: …… Let’s go to the nudie bar…
Falco/Slippy/Peppi: Hell yeah!!

Bomberman: Hey! Hey! I know a joke! It involves bombs!
All: ………………………… We already know it…
Bomberman: Aw… WELL BYE- *blows himself up and got blast in the portal*

Blain: I liked him…

Mario: Come on!!
Luigi/Mario/Princess Peach: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Rouge: Guess that’s it…
Blain: Yeah… It was a close one…
Knuckles: Shadow! We need to go!
Sonic: Shadow…?

They all see Shadow rocking in a foetus position sucking his thumb…



Sonic: Shadow…? *pokes him*
Shadow: I LOVE MY GODDAMN HAPPY MEAL!!! *shakes Sonic again*
Sonic: Knuckles, carry him would you…?
Knuckles: Sure…

Shadow, Sonic, Knuckles, Rouge Blain and Eggman stepped through the portal, transporting them back home…



What ever happened to Pacman and Megaman…?





Meanwhile… On the other side of the world… The Battlewalker stand there… Pacman sees a guy standing… He hops over to him…



Pacman: Is this Belgrade…?
Chinese: Eeeeeeeh……… Hong Kong…

Pacman hops back to Megaman…

Megaman: What the…
Pacman: Wrong city again man, let’s get back the walker...
Megaman: T_T


The end…

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