Chapter 13 - The voice of reason...

Passing by another destroyed town... And then there was that little village where lots of people were shot... Dead bodies everywhere again… It doesn’t surprise me anymore. It’s all natural, like its all part of the scenery. It’s like “Hey! A nice flower! Oh look, and there’s a bee! Bunnies! Hey look! A decapitated human!” Meh… I can honestly say that I think it was sad to see, except it doesn’t bring me anywhere whenever I was thinking about it. Things like that were happening. That’s it. No “and’s, if’s or but’s” about it…

We spend the night in a house that was one the few houses that were still intact. But there wasn’t much left… A few tables, a couch that was on its side as well as a few comfortable chairs and upstairs just one mattress and a few other stuff… Mahabi dragged the mattress downstairs and fell asleep on it the moment he flopped down while Lattei just kicked back in one of the comfortable chairs. Terry made a fire in the small fireplace… Walking outside and spending a day sleeping outside wore me out, and a little fire was really comforting… Once the fire was burning, Terry flopped down on the couch as I sat in another chair… I just stared at the flames and felt it was rather hypnotizing… We didn’t say anything for at least half an hour and I noticed that Lattei already fell asleep. Terry had his eyes closed, but for some reason, I didn’t feel tired… I was thinking about something…

Nicole: Terry…?
Terry: … Hm…?
Nicole: … What if we never make it to Azerbaijan…?
Terry: I don’t know, Nic… The only way to find out is to keep going…

Nicole: Yeah but… What if we lose someone on the way…? I mean, we’ve been travelling together for over a month now, and… Although I only know you guys for a month, it feels like I know you for years… And… I wouldn’t know what to do if I lose one of you guys…

Terry: Yeah… In situations like these, everyone acts different… Before everything started, people wouldn’t even say hello to you when you pass by, and now their very happy to see you and beg you to tag along… Everyone desperately tries to find a little spark of hope when their in a hopeless situation and the only thing that can happen to us now is to die. Everyone dies in the end, Nicole… But now we have a choice on how to die. To die with dignity…? Or succumb to the will of you’re oppressors and die on you’re knees…?

Nicole: … Yeah…
Terry: *sighs*
Nicole: … I accepted the fact that… That I won’t grow old in this world. That I won’t die in a warm bed when I’m old next to the person I loved the most. I often talked about the future with Blain when I was young, and we both pictured ourselves with kids and grow old together. But none of that was realized… I had a daughter but… She got taken away from me without ever knowing why…

Terry: *nods* I know… I lost someone myself as well… And… Never knew the answer…

Nicole: … Oh… Can I ask what happened…?
Terry: She died… Seven years ago, from a terminal illness…
Nicole: … I’m sorry…
Terry: Heh…

It stayed silent for a while…

Nicole: … How was she like…?
Terry: … Hm..?
Nicole: What was her name…?
Terry: … Sarudja…
Nicole: Beautiful name…
Terry: Hmm-mm… Her name reflected her personality… Beautiful… She was a leopard… And my mom… Heh, well… She didn’t really agree on our relationship… She could be a bit of a racist towards her though… Making all sorts of comments that really hurt her…

Nicole: Why, if I may ask…?

Terry: Well… Sarudja was a feline… And I’m a canine… That was a bit of a taboo… My mom loved me, but she didn’t liked Sarudja for some reason… And no matter how many times she told me she was no good, I didn’t listen to her. Sarudja never listened to her folks either… It was like a forbidden love or something while we didn’t know what we were doing wrong… But… I can’t say it was a mistake of us… We didn’t do anything wrong… And I’m glad I’ve been with her for so many years… Would’ve been better if my mom didn’t blame me… I still love my mom, but… For some reason, I’m blaming her…

Nicole: I see…
Terry: Yeah… *sighs*

Then it got me thinking again…

Nicole: You know Terry...
Terry: Hm…?

Nicole: When I was young… I met a girl in high school… Jayla was her name… We became friends real quick, but… Right from the beginning, I knew this wasn’t an ordinary friendship…

Terry: … You fell in love with her…?

I don’t know why I brought this up. It’s something I never said to anyone… Not even to Blain…

Nicole: … *nods* It’s eh… It wasn’t for at least a few months before I kissed her… And… I don’t know what’s gotten into me… I mean, I always got told that stuff like that was a wrong thing to do, and only a guy and a girl are supposed to do that but… I didn’t care about that… She made me feel things I never felt before with only a simple gesture… And it was something no one could do except for her…

Terry: I see…
Nicole: And… We both swore we kept it a secret…
Terry: Then what happened…?

Nicole: …It… It went great for a year… And as time passed by, it wasn’t just arsing around with little kisses and cuddles… It became deep… We… We truly loved each other while other people of our age were still arsing around… And… And at some point, we even went further than that… Like… All the way…

Terry: … As in… “All the way” all the way…?
Nicole: *nods*
Terry: Oh whoa…
Nicole: And well… The nights I spend with her made me realize I wanted to be with her forever…

Terry: … Ah…

Nicole: *sighs* … Then one night, we got busted while I stayed over at her house… Her parents didn’t want me to come over anymore and… They kicked Jayla out of the house… She wasn’t their daughter anymore… Jayla stayed over with so called “friends” that dragged her down even more… And one night, I was with her… But I didn’t know her “friend” was there was well… She used a syringe to inject stuff in her arm and sniffed all sorts of powder to make her feel better… And whenever she was under the influence of it, she was fracked by her “friend”… And that was all happening in front of my eyes… I couldn’t stand it how her beautiful personality turned into something like this and I couldn’t witness how her beautiful body was desecrated like that… So I got her out… I told my parents that she had trouble at home and if she could stay for a couple of weeks… Jayla and I talked for hours in bed and I saw her crying a lot… The only thing I could do was to hold her and cuddle, whispering things in her ear… I told her so many times I loved her very much, and assured it with kisses and things beyond that… But not long after that, we got busted again…

Terry: … Oh…

I felt like I was gonna burst out in tears again… I took a very deep breath, and continued talking with shaky lips…

Nicole: Jayla… She got kicked out once again… But I wasn’t… I talked for hours to my parents, trying to get them to understand, but I didn’t convince them… I noticed they were starting to act different towards me, and the longer I stayed, the worse it became… Like I was being ignored or something… That hurt me so much… My mom always told me that love is the most beautiful thing there is, and yet she didn’t see it… I didn’t know what I did wrong… And that’s one of the reasons I ran away from home…

Terry: *sighs*

Nicole: So… You shouldn’t be blaming your mom, Terry… People make mistakes… And… Sometimes they don’t realize they make mistakes… But we both know that we weren’t the ones that made mistakes in the end… As long as you keep that in mind, you’ll be fine, hun… Trust me…

Terry: Thanks Nicole…
Nicole: Anytime…

Then it stayed silent for a while as I stared at the flames…

Terry: … Did you just call me hun…?
Nicole: … Yeah…?
Terry: … Maybe I find that offensive… Ever gave a thought about that…?
Nicole: Should I…?
Terry: … No… No you don’t have to…
Nicole: Hehe…
Terry: … *yawns*

Nicole: … What time is it…?
Terry: Three forty one AM…
Nicole: Are you tired…?
Terry: A little… You…?
Nicole: Same…
Terry: You know a good joke…?
Nicole: … No…
Terry: Hehe…
Nicole: *smiles*
Terry: … *sighs*
Nicole: Hm…?
Terry: … I just miss Sarudja a lot you know…
Nicole: Like I miss Blain…
Terry: … Yeah… Like you miss Blain…

It stayed silent for a very long time. All I did was to stare at the flames in the fireplace that was slowly dieing out… And not long after that, I fell asleep…

I woke up from a sound… As soon as I opened my eyes, it was pitch black… The fire died out… I must have dozed off or something… I heard the soft breathing and snoring of the others, but all of a sudden, it stopped… It sounded like… Someone was choking, and it stopped abrupt… I whispered out the names, but there was no reply… As soon as my eyes were used to the darkness, I saw no one… I felt how my heart was beating, and I heard it was getting louder by the minute and that’s where I became truly afraid… Carefully, I guided myself with my hands to get up… It was still pretty dark to see… So I slowly walked around to look for them… As soon I got to the staircase, I noticed a mirror… I had the feeling I was being watched… I quickly turned around, but there was nothing there… I must be getting crazy or something… As I turned around to walk up the stairs, I noticed a figure standing on top of it, and I got so petrified, I almost fell down. The figure walked down the stairs as it dissolved into thin air… I felt how a bone chilling breeze waved over me, and every little hair I had were raised up... Then all sorts of scary sounds slowly faded in… It sounded like whispers and a baby crying… I wanted to get out… I wanted to run away… But as I stared back in the mirror, I noticed Blain… For a second there, I thought he was behind me… So I turned around, but there was nothing there… But he didn’t disappeared when I stared back in the mirror… He was smiling at me… Then all of a sudden, he stuck out his hand and grabbed my neck… As I looked down, I noticed his arm had a lot of deep cuts and dried blood stains on his fur, and his head came out of the mirror… A huge gaping hole was seen on his forehead as blood was flowing out of it… He kept on saying that it was my fault as he slowly squeezed my neck… His soft, tender glare became ice cold, and his glare penetrated right in my eyes…

Nicole: *gasp!!*
Mahabi: Geez, finally, I’ve been trying to wake up for at least an hour now.
Nicole: *sighs*
Mahabi: What, what’s wrong? Bad dream?
Nicole: *nods quickly*
Mahabi: Well, we all got bad dreams sometimes...
Nicole: Wh-Where’s Terry?
Mahabi: He’s taking a shower upstairs.
Nicole: Th-There’s hot water?
Mahabi: Yeah, but, not for long. The boiler keeps on failing…
Nicole: … Ah…
Terry: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! COLD!!!

Mahabi: See, there it goes again.

Nicole: And Lattei?
Mahabi: Getting changed.
Nicole: Aah…
Mahabi: Getting extra clothes always comes in handy so see if there’s anything you like upstairs and take it with you.

Mahabi went upstairs to look for stuff, but I had to recover for a moment… Such a freaky dream…

After a while, I went upstairs to see if there was anything… There wasn’t much left, but a few wardrobe closets with a few jeans and shirts and collars and everything were still there. It was a huge mess and everything but I didn’t really mind. I closed the door behind me and looked for clothes that fit me. Tried a lot, and took only the most relevant clothing. Seeing as autumn was about to start, I thought it was best to take warm clothes… I looked for a backpack to stuff the clothing in, but as I was raiding the closets, a lot of books fell down. One of them caught my attention as it fell open, and I noticed it was a photo album… I picked it up and looked at it, and there were pictures of a young human girl, surrounded by other humans who seem to be her friends. As I was flipping through the pages, I saw a lot of other pictures… So I sat down in the corner and took a good look at it…

I was carried away by looking at those pictures, but got snapped out of it as the door was opening and I heard Terry humming. I sat down in the corner that was next to the door, so he didn’t see me. Terry was still wet from the shower as he was still wearing a towel around his waist… But… As soon as he started to take the towel off, I saw a glimpse of his butt and… Well, his best “friend’… I couldn’t help it but… I giggled…

Nicole: Teehee…

Then he turned around and his eyes were wide open. As soon as he noticed me, he quickly grabbed his towel again…

Terry: Whoa!! Geez!! What the hell!! Where the hell did you come from?!!
Nicole: I got here first, you know!
Terry: My clothes are over there!! I got here first!!

Then the door opened up and Lattei walked through…

Lattei: Hey Terry, I think I figured out the-
All: …
Lattei: Never mind, you guys look busy.
Nicole: It’s not what it looks like!!
Mahabi: Ooh!! What’d I missed?!!
Terry: A little privacy wouldn’t hurt ya know!!
Mahabi: Oh Terry, I found the perfect thing for you.
Terry: What, doggy biscuits?
Mahabi: No, this.

At that point, he catapulted a thong in Terry’s face… That came so all of a sudden, and we just burst out in tears of laughter… Especially when we saw the look on Terry’s face afterwards…

Terry: Will you get the hell out of the room already?!! Thank you!!

So we left the room while we were still laughing…

That night, we set out again. We kept on moving towards Azerbaijan, and it was still a long journey… We passed all sorts of little towns and villages on the way, and like always, there were the same things… Dead bodies and all that, you know what it’s like…

Walking through another destroyed town brought my mood down once again. Seeing bodies lifelessly on the ground was rather shocking, but it wasn’t something I was surprised to see anymore... The scary thing was, that I was starting to get used to it. Any normal person would have a mental breakdown while setting their eyes upon a decapitated human or a furrie whose legs got blown off. But I was starting to get used to it…

No one said anything while we walked through the deserted streets. A soft breeze was waving over us as the stench of death was in the air. Another thing I got used to. Tiny snowflakes twirled down from the cold, dark red sky, gently floating down. As I looked down, I noticed our footsteps in the snow and other footsteps as well. You can tell there was a struggle here, a battle over life and death, forgotten as time went on and the tiny snowflakes covered it up… The whole view was beautiful as well as gruesome to see… Then the wind didn’t sound so breezy anymore… It sounded like thousands of people slowly dieing and screaming out their agony… The whole fairy tale image started to fade away slowly until I saw the blood stained ground… And it was then I hit the ground and opened my eyes. For what I was seeing was the truth. And the truth was gruesome…

At some point, we noticed that we were followed by a shadow. Terry reacted immediately. He turned around and aimed his weapon at the figure. We didn’t see it at first. But as we noticed the shadow stopped moving, we went towards it, with Terry leading the way. Then all of a sudden, something came out from behind an alley. Terry aimed his weapon at it, and I was the first to notice it was a human little girl… She got so frightened by the sudden aim Terry took with his weapon on her…

Nicole: Terry, no!!

Then he quickly lowers his weapon and looked at the human girl. Mahabi and Lattei joined as well and looked a bit baffled at her…

Mahabi: A human…?
Nicole: Yeah…

She looked at us with big eyes, but didn’t say anything. I think she wasn’t older than five years… So I walked up to her slowly and kneeled before her…

Nicole: Heey…
Girl: … Hi…
Nicole: What’s you’re name…?
Girl: R-Rachel… What’s yours…?
Nicole: I’m Nicole…

She looked around nervously at Terry and the others…

Nicole: Where are you’re parents…?
Rachel: I-I don’t know… Mommy said that when daddy came home, everything would be fine… B-But I don’t know where they are now…

Nicole: Yeah…
Rachel: My little brother is here too!
Nicole: He is…?
Rachel: *nods*
Nicole: Where is he…?

She took my hand and we walked down the alley while the others followed… Then she pointed to a small boy that was on the ground…

Rachel: He fell asleep, a-and didn’t wake up… I t-tried to wake him up but he’s not waking up…

I looked at Terry and the others and feared the worst. Terry kneeled down next to the little boy and felt for any signs of life. Then he looked at us and shakes his head in an almost inconspicuous way… He was dead…

Nicole: Oh my…
Rachel: Hm?
Nicole: Rachel? I’ll tell you what…
Rachel: Hmm-mm?
Nicole: We are also looking for people. So… Why don’t you come with us and we’ll look for your parents together?

Rachel: O-okay…
Terry: You hungry Rachel?

Rachel looked scared at Terry. Well, a guy with his posture and deep voice is intimidating for a kid… She clenches on my leg as Terry got close to her and gave her a piece of bread. She looked with wide eyes at Terry again, and he just smiled. But as he smiled, his sharp canine teeth were visible, which probably intimidated her more… She takes the bread with shaky hands… After she ate it, we started walking east. But I noticed she couldn’t really keep up. I waited for her and picked her up and carried her. She gently strokes my long hair as she placed her chin on my shoulder. I could see in the corners of my eyes that she was exhausted. Then not long after that, she fell asleep, while I kept carrying her and wondering what she ever did to deserve this…

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