Chapter 21 - You only live once

I couldn't sleep for the night. With every second that passed by, I saw the sky getting lighter and lighter through the roof window. It turned dark orange with every now and then a shade of light blue, while the clouds slowly adapted their colors. It was wonderful to see, even though I was alone... I wish Blain could've seen this... Maybe he was seeing this right now...

I stayed with Mahabi until he fell asleep. After gazing at the stars for a while after he fell asleep, I went to Ceylan's room. As soon as I got in, I thought about what Mahabi said and I stared at Ceylan while she was asleep...And even though I had my doubts again, I didn't got in bed with her... I just sat at the small table, staring outside the window...

Ceylan: Psst... Hey... Hey, Nicole, wake up...
Nicole: Mmmhuh...?
Ceylan: Good morning...
Nicole: ... What time is it...?
Ceylan: Ten-forty five AM... Mahabi is awake... He's at the cafeteria...
Nicole: ... I know he's awake... I was with him last night...
Ceylan: ... Oooooh...

I wasn't wide awake yet to realize what I just said. But the way Ceylan said “Oooooh...” made it sound like I was at it again... I quickly opened my eyes and found myself with my head on the table and looked at Ceylan. My neck hurt a lot of the way my head was on the table though...

Ceylan: I see...
Nicole: No, not like that, you gotta believe me, please...
Ceylan: Calm down, I wasnt even thinking of that...
Nicole: ... Oh... So... Anything new...?
Ceylan: Yeah actually. Terry wants to move on in 3 days. Mahabi needs some more rest but he'll be alright...

Nicole: That's good to hear...
Ceylan: Hmm-mm...
Nicole: *yawns*
Ceylan: Can I ask you something...?
Nicole: Yeah sure... What's up...?
Ceylan: What were you doing with Mahabi anyway...?
Nicole: I wanted to check up on him to see how he was doing...
Ceylan: In the middle of the night...?
Nicole: ... Yeah... I couldn't sleep...
Ceylan: I see...

Once we arrived at the cafeteria, I noticed everyone else. I saw Lattei and Mahabi, Terry, Rachel and Axel, who was sitting by himself. It's been a while since I've seen Lattei and Rachel, and they welcomed me with open arms. Rachel just literally jumped in my arms and kept on hugging me... And then I noticed Terry... And Ceylan was right... He was changed. He didn't try to show it but... Terry walked up to me and handed me a plate of food as he didn't say anything. He looked at me for a short moment and looked away, and I felt as if I could bury myself... I sat somewhere alone with my plate until I noticed Mahabi sitting across the table...

Mahabi: 'Sup, this seat taken?
Nicole: No, go ahead...
Mahabi: Thanks.

I guess Mahabi was starved... The way he shoved the food down his throat was really fast... I wasn't really that hungry but I had to eat... The food went rather reluctant down my throat... And as I was eating, I kept on staring at Ceylan and Terry, while Mahabi looked over his shoulder every now and then... And well, Terry was talking to Lattei as Rachel and Ceylan sat somewhere else and were messing around... Then I noticed Mahabi looking all serious at me as his eyes were looking straight into mine...

Nicole: ... What's wrong...?
Mahabi: You know what's wrong...
Nicole: *sighs*
Mahabi: *shakes his head*
Nicole: I eh...
Mahabi: I know what you're problem is, Nicole. You're thinking way too much about it.
Nicole: About what...?
Mahabi: ... Terry and Ceylan. That's Ceylan, right? The girl who's sitting with Rachel?
Nicole: Yeah...
Mahabi: You worry way too much Nicole. Don't think, just do it.
Nicole: ... Do what...?

I knew all too well what Mahabi meant. But I tried not to show it. Mahabi didn't buy it though... He kept staring in my eyes...

Mahabi: I saw the way you looked at her...
Nicole: ... Wh-What about it...?
Mahabi: Stop the acting already, Nic... I just see it... You like her...
Nicole: Maybe...
Mahabi: No, you do... I know it...
Nicole: But...

Mahabi and I looked over at Terry and Lattei, who were talking to each other. Every now and then, I noticed that Terry and Lattei looked at us...

Mahabi: Lattei is talking to Terry about it... But eh... Terry and you are the ones who need to solve it in the end. We can't do that for you.

Nicole: ... You know what happened between us...?
Mahabi: I might have a hunch... But eh, I'm not the one who's judging it...
Nicole: *sighs*
Mahabi: And eh... You're little secret stays between you and me, ok...? No one else needs to know...

Nicole: What secret...?
Mahabi: That you're in love with Ceylan...
Nicole: Well I... Eh...
Mahabi: Like I said, it stays between us...
Nicole: Thanks Mahabi...
Mahabi: Any time... But first, set things right with Terry...
Nicole: Yeah... I know...
Mahabi: *nods*
Nicole: But... What if Ceylan takes it the wrong way...? I mean... She doesn't necessarily need to have the same feelings I have for her...?

Mahabi: That's all up to you Nicole... I can't help you with that...
Nicole: *nods slowly*
Mahabi: So yeah...
Nicole: ... Can I ask you something Mahabi...?
Mahabi: Hmm...?
Nicole: Why are you and Lattei doing this...? Can I ask why you are helping Terry and me...?

Mahabi: Well it's because Terry cooks a lot better when he's happy...
Nicole: I'm serious Mahabi...
Mahabi: You think we need a reason to help you guys...?
Nicole: No...
Mahabi: My thoughts exactly...

It stayed quiet for a while...

Nicole: You ever had a girl Mahabi...?
Mahabi: ... Which one you mean out of the 23...? *grins*
Nicole: ... You serious...?
Mahabi: ... Yeah... I mean... I traveled a lot and... Well, settling down with a girl, a house, and a kid isn't exactly my thing... So eh... Yeah... Hehe...

Nicole: So... What did you do...?

Mahabi: Eeh... Well... There was a war, a few decades back and eh... Well, after the war was over, not everyone could live in prosperity because of certain circumstances. And eh... Lattei and I were born 7 years after the war was over. But eh, our group, or… family as I like to call it, were hunted down by almost everyone... Mostly because we pillaged small villages and raided people from their supplies in order for us to survive. And well, killing was necessary sometimes... At some point, our group got so large we established a community and a port on the coast of Isla Sohn Paradiso. It was an island, so heavily fortified and filled with people like us. GUN wouldn't dare to attack us on our own grounds, knowing they would lose it. Over the years, it got bigger and bigger and at some point, we moved to new locations to expand our ground. It was eh... Quite an adventure, I can tell you that... But for the last 2 years, we got killed off one by one by GUN, and even had people who snitched us... GUN thought we were becoming a real threat and at some point, Lattei and I were forced to leave if we wanted to stay alive...

Nicole: I see...

Mahabi: The last 2 years were really harsh though... We had to change our way of living of which we were used to for so many years... Lattei witnessed how his parents were executed and well... It did leave a mark on him...

Nicole: What about you...?

Mahabi: Well, sometimes I still believe my parents are still alive... But maybe it's because I didn't witnessed their execution...

Nicole: I'm sorry...

Mahabi: *nods slowly* Maybe that's the reason why we went along with you and Terry...

Nicole: What do you mean...?

Mahabi: Going to Azerbaijan is a journey of a few hundred miles, taking months to get to your destination while death could be around any corner. You almost died, I almost died, but you know what Nicole...?

Nicole: What...?
Mahabi: It's an adventure... Experiencing such things enables you to say that you are alive and live life to the fullest... Even when the odds are against you, and even though fate is taking a crap on you're head, you'll be able to say that you're alive...

Nicole: Hehe... You're right on that...
Mahabi: *nods*
Nicole: I've never seen you so serious though...
Mahabi: Well, with every near-death experience, I change a little. I'll be alright though.

Nicole: ... What about me...?

Then Mahabi turned around and looked at Ceylan, who was hugging Rachel...

Mahabi: You'll be alright Nic... Just go for it... You only live once...
Nicole: Thank you Mahabi..
Mahabi: Any time...

It stayed silent for a long time as I was watching Ceylan... I felt a lot better now, knowing that Mahabi wouldn't have any trouble with it... Maybe it's because he's a guy though... But still, I was glad he understood... Then I looked over to Terry and was wondering what he was thinking... I guess Terry hated me because... Well... I slept with him or... That he knew that I liked Ceylan... Maybe that was the reason why he was acting like that towards me... I never thought that Terry would act like that, especially towards me. And well, maybe because he liked me and... I didn't liked him in the way he thought it was... Whatever it was, the thinking suddenly got interrupted by a loud fart and a cough...

Mahabi: ... Whoa, that one trimmed my nosehair...
Nicole: ...
Mahabi: ... 'Scuse me, I gotta take a crap real bad...
Nicole: Yeah, thanks for sharing...

After he ran off, I walked away from the table... At least Mahabi is back to his old self again...

That evening, I took a shower in the girl's locker room... At first, I was a bit scared but I saw it was still daylight through the small windows. I guess it was way less scarier then it was at night... After raiding through some open lockers, I found a small bottle of shampoo and shower gel, which I was actually relieved to find. All those weeks, I've been taking showers without shampoo or shower gel, so finding this was a real relief. Everything was just fine until I heard a door slam... And then I saw her...

Ceylan: Hey! I didn't know you were here!

I didn't say anything, though. I was startled and just stood dead in my tracks watching her. And well, then she took off her clothes. For some reason, I just stared at her and watched how she got undressed.. And eh... Then she took off her panties and bent over to grab something... And... Well eh... Let's just say I squeezed the shampoo bottle so hard, that everything squirted out... Heh... Then she got up and walked to the shower next to me as she kept on blabbering about all sorts of things. And I just kept staring at her body you know... I think she didn't realize it, but I tried my best not to jump on top of her like some animal... Something slipped out of her hands and it landed not too far from my paws... She bents over again to pick it up and eh... I had a really hard time to hold myself... I mean, it's not every day you see someone you have a crush on being naked in front of you... And then she looked at me... I was so nervous... And I had no idea why...

Ceylan: Can I borrow you're shower gel...?
Nicole: Huh, what?
Ceylan: Can I borrow you're shower gel? I'm out...
Nicole: Oh! Yeah! Sure! It's not actually mine, but I found it, so I guess that makes me the owner of it, right? Heh...

Ceylan: ... Are you feeling alright...?
Nicole: Perfect! Eh... Heh... Eh... Yeah...
Ceylan: Ok... So...
Nicole: Hm?
Ceylan: ... Shower gel...?
Nicole: Oh yeah! Right!
Ceylan: You sure you're feeling alright...?
Nicole: *nods quickly*

So I gave her the shower gel... I was making such an @$$ of myself in front of her... And I realized it all too well... And that made me even more nervous... But eh... The fact that she was washing her breasts and her... “Thingly” didn't really aid to the situation. I just stood there like a zombie, still holding the shampoo bottle. And eh... At some point, she turned the water hotter and I could hear her sigh as the steam slowly floated up. And at some point, she turned off the water and looked at my stomach...

Ceylan: What's that...?
Nicole: Huh...?

She placed her paw on my stomach and gently rubbed it until the scar I had on my stomach was visible. I can honestly say that I had a really weird feeling in my stomach, and wished she would continue to do it... But she didn't...

Ceylan: What happened...? How did you get that scar...?
Nicole: Oh... That...
Ceylan: Hmm...?
Nicole: I eh... I was stabbed a long time ago...
Ceylan: Stabbed?!
Nicole: *nods*
Ceylan: Why would anyone stab a girl?!
Nicole: I have no idea... But... He did... So... There's not much use to keep thinking about it... It happened and there's no way you can change it...

Ceylan: Yeah...
Nicole: The doctors said it was the cause for my miscarriage... *sighs*
Ceylan: Oh… I'm sorry to hear that, hun...

And then she hugged me all of a sudden... Because she was taller then me, my head sticked just above her boobs... It felt a bit awkward at first, but as soon as I slowly clenched my arms around her back and closed my eyes, the awkward feeling faded off into a happy one...I could hear her heart beat that seemed to go faster the longer we held each other. But then she let go... And so did I... And I just sighed as I watched her getting dressed again while I was still naked under the shower. Before she left the locker room...

Nicole: Ceylan...?
Ceylan: Yeah...?
Nicole: ... Can I stay with you tonight...?

Then she smiled at me...

Ceylan: Sure... Don't worry about it...
Nicole: ... Thanks...
Ceylan: *smiles*

And then she walked out of the door... I sighed in relief and let myself down as I sat on the ground while the hot water was still running over me. For some reason, I couldn't let go of the images of her body. How it was possible for her, I have no idea, but her body was just perfect, like everything was in the right proportions. Her breasts weren't really that big but... Like I would give a damn about that... But I didn't just thought about her body though... Also... I guess it was the hug that gave the final blow. It was the hug that made me realize I was in love with her... And although a lot of people wouldn't agree on my thoughts of her, I couldn't care less... I really liked her, and there was no way I would let anyone else stop me from letting her know that I liked her... Like Mahabi said... You only live once... Best take advantage of that while I still had the chance... And I can only hope that Blain and Kaelyn can forgive me... Who knew that taking a shower could be so hard...?

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