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Raen Fall

this is my second story in a trilogy of amazingness. i hope u all like

Chapters

Chapters

Chapter 1 - Capture
Submitted: July 13, 2008 • Updated: July 13, 2008
Word count: 1633 • Size: 7k • Comments: 8 • views: 255

Chapter 2 - none yet
Submitted: July 13, 2008 • Updated: July 13, 2008
Word count: 574 • Size: 2k • Comments: 6 • views: 207

Comments

Comments (15)

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ShadowMagic on May 4, 2009, 4:15:11 AM

ShadowMagic on (Chapter: 1)
ShadowMagicnice ^-^

killerrabbit05 on July 18, 2008, 2:12:05 PM

killerrabbit05 on (Chapter: 2)
killerrabbit05Pretty good story... although I am having trouble with some of the places and details of the world and all... it would be nice to gain some insight into the type of world your character is in so we don't feel so... left in the dark? And also, in Chap 1 I had a hard time telling who was speaking in the dialogues... maybe more description might help??

Nyte on July 18, 2008, 2:23:58 PM

Nyte on (Chapter: 2)
Nyteyea i think i might just type a whole background someday

Hinata102 on July 17, 2008, 9:02:46 AM

Hinata102 on (Chapter: 1)
Hinata102Really nicely done ^-^ but why did he get poisoned in the first place? also in the second chapter why did he carry him and what about all those other soldiers? You'll need quite a bit more detail in the other chapters

Nyte on July 17, 2008, 1:13:57 PM

Nyte on (Chapter: 1)
Nytealright so the reason he carried the dead guy was so they wouldn't question him coming to town in case they where on the look out for him and something i forgot to mention is that this is only half the chapter. there was poison in the tea nees gave him(unless that was a later update) and yes it is odd that the soldiers would leave but it will be explained later i promise

Hinata102 on July 18, 2008, 6:45:16 AM

Hinata102 on (Chapter: index)
Hinata102ok then ^-^ wait but where did the tea and nees come from? and why did he split with the monk and why are your chapters so short?! lol

garaworshiper on July 15, 2008, 4:30:06 PM

garaworshiper on (Chapter: 2)
garaworshipercool, so why did he carry his dead opponnt around again? what happened to the rest of the people who were in that party? i know, i have alot of questions ^_^

Nyte on July 15, 2008, 4:32:57 PM

Nyte on (Chapter: 2)
Nytethats good news for me all i can say is that there is a reason for everything that seems askew and some will be explained in the 3rd or 4th chapter i think but i can tell u in private if u cant wait cause it might be awhile

garaworshiper on July 15, 2008, 4:22:18 PM

garaworshiper on (Chapter: 1)
garaworshiperi like this chapter alot! but you never told us what he was in for, is it for killing the god? and where do these crazy spells keep comming from? lol, but overall, its good

Nyte on July 15, 2008, 4:25:45 PM

Nyte on (Chapter: 1)
Nyteyea he's in for killing the god. and the spell in the first was just some german mushed together(idr what it meant) but in this one its the language of the gods and all magic is in it i will post some words later but i think this spell was protect me and strike my enemy.

rainraingoaway on July 15, 2008, 2:37:00 PM

rainraingoaway on (Chapter: 1)
rainraingoawayIts really good! You used so much detail!

Nyte on July 15, 2008, 3:01:43 PM

Nyte on (Chapter: 1)
Nytethank you i try to make it as though it was u there

Yvette on July 14, 2008, 10:20:08 AM

Yvette on (Chapter: 2)
YvetteThis one is okay but still great writing.

Nyte on July 14, 2008, 12:40:20 PM

Nyte on (Chapter: 2)
Nyteyea i know its really only like half the chapter or so i was just wanting to put something else out there

Yvette on July 14, 2008, 10:17:15 AM

Yvette on (Chapter: 1)
YvetteThis chapter is really good!