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Chapter 10 - Donut Chronicles: 10

Pure humor written by my older sister and me back in 2003 or something. Light hints of shounen ai. Heero needs his donuts and coffee. But what happens when he can't get them?

Chapter 10 - Donut Chronicles: 10

Chapter 10 - Donut Chronicles: 10
Now, as time came to pass, Relena, the pacifist princess, realized that Heero’s hn’s were
not simply grunts but actual words in a different language. Now, not being the brightest
bulb in the box, she figured she was a genius and could learn how to speak it - in two
days. She would go to Heero and impress him by speaking in the same language as him;
wouldn’t that be great?

And that is how this story begins.

The pilots were in the living room. Duo was watching TV with a reluctant Wufei (Oh, but
even though he wouldn’t admit it, he loves Sailor Moon), Quatre and Trowa were
reading, and Heero was deep in thought, coffee in one hand, donut in the other.

In other words, it was very peaceful (Which must make it a national holiday or
something, as it is NEVER peaceful for long in there………)

Indeed, as if on cue, Relena burst into the room, screeching, “Heero, Heero, I’ve
managed to learn ‘hn’-speak and now I’m going to make you mine by flirting with you in
it!”

Duo turned around at Relena’s voice and slowly started giggling to himself. “Relena
thinks she can speak ‘hn’ speak??? Heck, I even had trouble learning it!” Duo paused, a
devious plan in mind, “Hey guys come over here, and lets watch. Plus, I’ll translate what
she and he say.”

Wufei grumbled and turned around, but Quatre and Trowa came over rather eagerly
(disregard the fact that Quatre seems so innocent - he really wants to see blood! No, not
really, but pretend for the sake of the fic =p)

“hn,” Said Relena.

“Well, she’s off to a good start,” Duo said sarcastically, “She just said ‘I hate you.’ “

The pilots began laughing.

“Hn,” replied Heero to Relena.

“Heero says ‘Get out with your life Relena.’

“Hn,” said Relena.

“Relena must have thought that meant ‘I love you Relena’ because she just said ‘I knew
you cared about me!’

“Hn,” Heero said, rolling his eyes.

“Heero told Relena to get a life.”

”Hn.”

”Relena told Heero to go jump in a bucket, but I think she was trying to say ‘You say the
cutest things, Heero.”

Wufei was trying to hold back his laughter now, Trowa was shaking with silent laughter,
and Duo and Quatre didn’t try to stop their laughter.

But it didn’t occur to Relena that they were laughing at HER; she thought they were
laughing at Heero because she was professing her love to him. “Hn,” she said, trying to
sound soothing.

Duo could barely translate through his laughter, “I’m sure Relena meant something along
the lines of ‘Ignore Duo and his friends, I still love you,’ but she came up with,” Duo
gasped for breath through his laughter, “She told him to go screw a cow!”

“Hn.” Replied Heero calmly.

“Heero says ‘Don’t take this as an insult, Relena, but I’d rather screw a cow than you.’ ”

However, the insult was lost as Relena mistranslated and replied, “Hn.”

”Relena says she’s honored he thinks so lowly of him.” Now even Wufei was laughing. It
wasn’t hard to see that Relena MEANT to say ‘highly’ instead of ‘lowly.’

“Shouldn’t we help Heero now?” asked Quatre, though he was still shaking with
laughter.

Duo paused, “In a minute or so. This is entertaining, no?” A bowl of popcorn came out of
nowhere and the pilots began munching happily.

“hn!” said Relena, and “hn,” said Heero.

“Relena said, ‘Isn’t Professor J HOT?’ and Heero told her ‘You are SO screwed up.’ “

“Hn,” replied Relena.

“Relena said thank you.”

“Hn,”

”Heero said, ‘Will you please just leave with what’s LEFT of your pride?!?””

“Hn!”

”Relena said, ‘Ok, It’s a date!”

Relena flounced out of the door happily, and the four pilots began laughing even harder.

“Hn.”

Duo turned pale. “Ummm, heh, heh, Heero………..you wouldn’t want to kill me, right?
Right? Cuz you love me? Ack - Heero, put that gun down! I mean it!
Heero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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